Aug 14, 2015
9
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Pre-Medical
I am probably not the only person on this forum that posted a problem on bullying. Well this is my story; I was teased in middle, high school and continue to still get teased by random people who I just meet. Its getting to the point where I am hating young adults and teens because of their absolute rudeness. I get constantly judged on my appearance and many people choose not to talk to me because of it, however there are people that do talk to me but its very slim I meet them. I have no friends and cannot stand people. I wanna know if I can still become a doctor because I really want to become one. There is nothing else I find interesting. Will I be able to get over this feeling ever? Do I need help? Can I ever go back to liking people? I honestly use to love people until the bullying started.
 

md-2020

The Immaculate Catch
2+ Year Member
Jun 29, 2015
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?


Your thread title is "Stuck! I need advice on my major"

I am probably not the only person on this forum that posted a problem on bullying. Well this is my story; I was teased in middle, high school and continue to still get teased by random people who I just meet. Its getting to the point where I am hating young adults and teens because of their absolute rudeness. I get constantly judged on my appearance and many people choose not to talk to me because of it, however there are people that do talk to me but its very slim I meet them. I have no friends and cannot stand people. I wanna know if I can still become a doctor because I really want to become one. There is nothing else I find interesting. Will I be able to get over this feeling ever? Do I need help? Can I ever go back to liking people? I honestly use to love people until the bullying started.
 

JustintheDoctor

High functioning FeelsOpath
5+ Year Member
May 9, 2013
265
133
Status
Pre-Medical
I am probably not the only person on this forum that posted a problem on bullying. Well this is my story; I was teased in middle, high school and continue to still get teased by random people who I just meet. Its getting to the point where I am hating young adults and teens because of their absolute rudeness. I get constantly judged on my appearance and many people choose not to talk to me because of it, however there are people that do talk to me but its very slim I meet them. I have no friends and cannot stand people. I wanna know if I can still become a doctor because I really want to become one. There is nothing else I find interesting. Will I be able to get over this feeling ever? Do I need help? Can I ever go back to liking people? I honestly use to love people until the bullying started.
@md-2020 and I are confused because there isn't anything about a Major there. You can be any major and still get into med-school(? if thats what you need help with)
 
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OP
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Aug 14, 2015
9
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Pre-Medical
@md-2020 and I are confused because there isn't anything about a Major there. You can be any major and still get into med-school(? if thats what you need help with)
I actually meant should I still go into pre med if I don't like people because of past experiences. I should of made the title relevant to the paragraph.
 

Pacna

Dyslexics, untie!
Jun 2, 2013
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I am probably not the only person on this forum that posted a problem on bullying. Well this is my story; I was teased in middle, high school and continue to still get teased by random people who I just meet. Its getting to the point where I am hating young adults and teens because of their absolute rudeness. I get constantly judged on my appearance and many people choose not to talk to me because of it, however there are people that do talk to me but its very slim I meet them. I have no friends and cannot stand people. I wanna know if I can still become a doctor because I really want to become one. There is nothing else I find interesting. Will I be able to get over this feeling ever? Do I need help? Can I ever go back to liking people? I honestly use to love people until the bullying started.
I'm going to try to break up my comment to directly address your concerns as best I can. Skip to 6 if you want to jump to what I think is your main concern.

1) I'm very sorry that you're having a rough time. We've all been on the receiving end of negative social attitude at some point, and having that go on for a while can be very emotionally taxing.

2) Why do you think that you're being singled out? In my experience, and this could be completely unrelated to yours, problems like these usually stem from something about the person at the end of the ridicule. For example, not everyone who is very overweight is getting bullied. The people who are being bullied, again in my experience, have something on top of that which is what bullies see as a lightning rod. Maybe they have a skin condition, maybe they're rude, maybe their mother is a politician, etc. You mention an inability to make friends, and this adds to this concern for me. Unfortunately, social ostracism is a vicious cycle because it can lead to anti-social behaviors, leading to more social ostracism ("I ... cannot stand people"). In general, people are pretty tolerant these days, so I have a hard time believing that this issue is one-dimensional for you.

3. "Will I ever be able to get over this feeling ever?" - Perhaps, but your goal should be to try to address the issue before resigning yourself to 'getting over it,' which I think you're making a good try at here.

4. "Do I need help?" - Yes, you do. You wouldn't be here asking for advice if you didn't. A therapist is a universal option, but a socially competent close friend would be better at helping you day-to-day.

5. "Can I ever go back to liking people?" - Almost certainly yes! You say that there are rare people that do talk to you. I imagine that you don't loathe them, in general. That's a place to start. But even if nobody ever wanted to be around you, love for others is what drives many physicians. Many patients won't like what you're going to have them take or do, but you look past their frustration and value the positive impact that you have on their life anyhow. It's unlikely that you'll continue in this way forever, but if you do, it allows you to be so much more noble than many physicians ever get the opportunity to be. Imagine if a black doctor was caring for a racist population. We'd look at that person and think "Wow, what an incredible person. Inspirational. Love conquering hate."
--> You give yourself away at the end by saying "I honestly use to love people until the bullying started." You still love people. It's why their rejection is so painful. If someone random on the street tells me that they're never going to like me, my day is unchanged. Their opinion means nothing to me. However, if someone I love rejects me, that hurts deeply. Your heartbreak breaks my heart, too, but know that there is nothing more heroic than forgiving the people who wrong you. I'm not Christian, but I think one of the reasons Jesus' story is so compelling is that he looked at the people who tortured him and loved them no less. The most tragic thing you could do is to let ignorant or cruel people take your love for the world from you. Don't give them that power. You're the one in control of it.

6. "I wanna know if I can still become a doctor because I really want to become one. There is nothing else I find interesting." - There are a couple of things wrong with this quote. First, I'll put your mind at ease and reassure you that yes, you can still become a doctor. If you find that you can never improve your relationships with strangers (of any variety. You may well find a group like yourself who needs a doctor with a shared experience), there are plenty of specialties in which your exposure to new people is low. There are radiology and pathology careers aplenty for people who don't highly value frequent patient contact.

I just want to restate my first point, in case you forgot. I'm so incredibly sorry that you're going through this. I know it's hurtful, and I know it makes it hard to hold onto the person that you aspire to be. If my reply makes you feel like you owe me anything, please do me just one favor: Don't give up. There are more kind people in the world than there are cruel ones, believe me.
 

JustintheDoctor

High functioning FeelsOpath
5+ Year Member
May 9, 2013
265
133
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Pre-Medical
I actually meant should I still go into pre med if I don't like people because of past experiences. I should of made the title relevant to the paragraph.
I mean I guess that wouldn't be the best choice considering clinical stuff in med school, BUT if you can make it through that you can always become a pathologist/Anesthesiologist
 

Mad Jack

Critically Caring
5+ Year Member
Jul 27, 2013
35,550
65,166
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It sounds like you need to stop giving a damn about what other people think and grow a thicker skin. Who cares what other people think or do? And you shouldn't hate people in general- pretty much everyone has something great about them, sometimes you just need to dig around a bit to find it. People are wonderful things, almost every one of them. They've got hopes, dreams, talents, things and people they love and care about, and so much more. Try and do a combination of not caring what others think and being more open and kind yourself, and perhaps you'll find yourself in a better place from which you can answer this question.
 

Goro

7+ Year Member
Jun 10, 2010
53,593
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Somewhere west of St. Louis
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Very sorry to hear of your woes. Agree 100% that counseling is in order, to both uncover why you're being victimized, and more importantly, to help you deal with it.

The bolded below are concerning. Firstly, you need people skills to be a doctor. If you can't stand people, even because you're been conditioned to think this way, you'll never, ever survive a med school interview.

Second, your reasons for wanting to become a doctor are poor. This is a long and hard road. I suggest that once you get your issues out of the way, and only then, that you start shadowing and doing clinical volunteer work.


I am probably not the only person on this forum that posted a problem on bullying. Well this is my story; I was teased in middle, high school and continue to still get teased by random people who I just meet. Its getting to the point where I am hating young adults and teens because of their absolute rudeness. I get constantly judged on my appearance and many people choose not to talk to me because of it, however there are people that do talk to me but its very slim I meet them. I have no friends and cannot stand people. I wanna know if I can still become a doctor because I really want to become one. There is nothing else I find interesting. Will I be able to get over this feeling ever? Do I need help? Can I ever go back to liking people? I honestly use to love people until the bullying started.
 
OP
S
Aug 14, 2015
9
0
Status
Pre-Medical
I'm going to try to break up my comment to directly address your concerns as best I can. Skip to 6 if you want to jump to what I think is your main concern.

1) I'm very sorry that you're having a rough time. We've all been on the receiving end of negative social attitude at some point, and having that go on for a while can be very emotionally taxing.

2) Why do you think that you're being singled out? In my experience, and this could be completely unrelated to yours, problems like these usually stem from something about the person at the end of the ridicule. For example, not everyone who is very overweight is getting bullied. The people who are being bullied, again in my experience, have something on top of that which is what bullies see as a lightning rod. Maybe they have a skin condition, maybe they're rude, maybe their mother is a politician, etc. You mention an inability to make friends, and this adds to this concern for me. Unfortunately, social ostracism is a vicious cycle because it can lead to anti-social behaviors, leading to more social ostracism ("I ... cannot stand people"). In general, people are pretty tolerant these days, so I have a hard time believing that this issue is one-dimensional for you.

3. "Will I ever be able to get over this feeling ever?" - Perhaps, but your goal should be to try to address the issue before resigning yourself to 'getting over it,' which I think you're making a good try at here.

4. "Do I need help?" - Yes, you do. You wouldn't be here asking for advice if you didn't. A therapist is a universal option, but a socially competent close friend would be better at helping you day-to-day.

5. "Can I ever go back to liking people?" - Almost certainly yes! You say that there are rare people that do talk to you. I imagine that you don't loathe them, in general. That's a place to start. But even if nobody ever wanted to be around you, love for others is what drives many physicians. Many patients won't like what you're going to have them take or do, but you look past their frustration and value the positive impact that you have on their life anyhow. It's unlikely that you'll continue in this way forever, but if you do, it allows you to be so much more noble than many physicians ever get the opportunity to be. Imagine if a black doctor was caring for a racist population. We'd look at that person and think "Wow, what an incredible person. Inspirational. Love conquering hate."
--> You give yourself away at the end by saying "I honestly use to love people until the bullying started." You still love people. It's why their rejection is so painful. If someone random on the street tells me that they're never going to like me, my day is unchanged. Their opinion means nothing to me. However, if someone I love rejects me, that hurts deeply. Your heartbreak breaks my heart, too, but know that there is nothing more heroic than forgiving the people who wrong you. I'm not Christian, but I think one of the reasons Jesus' story is so compelling is that he looked at the people who tortured him and loved them no less. The most tragic thing you could do is to let ignorant or cruel people take your love for the world from you. Don't give them that power. You're the one in control of it.

6. "I wanna know if I can still become a doctor because I really want to become one. There is nothing else I find interesting." - There are a couple of things wrong with this quote. First, I'll put your mind at ease and reassure you that yes, you can still become a doctor. If you find that you can never improve your relationships with strangers (of any variety. You may well find a group like yourself who needs a doctor with a shared experience), there are plenty of specialties in which your exposure to new people is low. There are radiology and pathology careers aplenty for people who don't highly value frequent patient contact.

I just want to restate my first point, in case you forgot. I'm so incredibly sorry that you're going through this. I know it's hurtful, and I know it makes it hard to hold onto the person that you aspire to be. If my reply makes you feel like you owe me anything, please do me just one favor: Don't give up. There are more kind people in the world than there are cruel ones, believe me.
I guess i just hate ignorant people that cannot get past looks.
 

raindropx

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I guess i just hate ignorant people that cannot get past looks.
Just out of curiosity, have you started college yet? It would be good to take your time and work through thia before considering a medical career. All the best!
 
OP
S
Aug 14, 2015
9
0
Status
Pre-Medical
Very sorry to hear of your woes. Agree 100% that counseling is in order, to both uncover why you're being victimized, and more importantly, to help you deal with it.

The bolded below are concerning. Firstly, you need people skills to be a doctor. If you can't stand people, even because you're been conditioned to think this way, you'll never, ever survive a med school interview.

Second, your reasons for wanting to become a doctor are poor. This is a long and hard road. I suggest that once you get your issues out of the way, and only then, that you start shadowing and doing clinical volunteer work.
I have worked in a hospital as a volunteer, but i was basically shadowing nurses. I didn't like working with nurses. I didn't like being a volunteer for nurses. Most nurses are miserable. I prefered seeing surgeons at work or shadowing a psychiatrist, but i don't like psychiatrist anymore because they harm more than help.
 

raindropx

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Aug 12, 2015
285
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I have worked in a hospital as a volunteer, but i was basically shadowing nurses. I didn't like working with nurses. I didn't like being a volunteer for nurses. Most nurses are miserable. I prefered seeing surgeons at work or shadowing a psychiatrist, but i don't like psychiatrist anymore because they harm more than help.
If you don't mind, how did psychiatrists harm you
 

ac62994

2+ Year Member
Jul 1, 2015
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You're surrounding yourself with the wrong people.

There are so many different communities in college and even in life in general that it's almost impossible for you not to find one where you don't fit in. You don't have to change, but you do have to be more open. You only get as much out of life as you put into it. Don't worry about what other people think, you're the boss!:cool:
 
OP
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Aug 14, 2015
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If you don't mind, how did psychiatrists harm you
He put me on paxil and risperidone. When i was on it i had migraines and felt dizziness all the time. When i stopped taking the small dose she just stopped caring about me knowing that the pills could cause suicidal thinking. The other psychiatrist prescribed me seroquel and it caused me night terrors and hallucinations. I would wake up screaming. All he did was prescribe pills and i would catch him talking about me to coworkers
 

Goro

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I can't sugar coat this, you have much bigger issues to work out. Go and heal first.

Not all clinical volunteering has to be in a hospital.


He put me on paxil and risperidone. When i was on it i had migraines and felt dizziness all the time. When i stopped taking the small dose she just stopped caring about me knowing that the pills could cause suicidal thinking. The other psychiatrist prescribed me seroquel and it caused me night terrors and hallucinations. I would wake up screaming. All he did was prescribe pills and i would catch him talking about me to coworkers
 
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I can't sugar coat this, you have much bigger issues to work out. Go and heal first.

Not all clinical volunteering has to be in a hospital.
How do i heal? Everytime i think of healing im at a standstill because i don't know how.
 

Goro

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