Student Professor Relationships

[BlacKAT33]

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uhhh. NOT.

Just from a person who has seen a lot worse in the real world for a long time.

i can't imagine what sleezy stuff goes on in the business world!! i wouldnt last one day in the business world by myself lol and i'm sure id cry easily

 

[flyinggoat]

Totally not contributing to this thread, but I just want to say I love it.

It is like finding an issue of STAR magazine in my pile of National Geographics.

Totally not helping, and not to further derail this whole thing, but I was feeling kind of like I was watching an episode of Grey's....😉

 

[libster06]

uhhh. NOT.

Just from a person who has seen a lot worse in the real world for a long time.

Ah ok. I didn't realize I was living in a fake world. Thanks for straightening me out.

 

[libster06]

Totally not helping, and not to further derail this whole thing, but I was feeling kind of like I was watching an episode of Grey's....😉

I was thinking Friends.... "The One Where Ross Dates A Student" 😉

 

[StartingoverVet]

Ah ok. I didn't realize I was living in a fake world. Thanks for straightening me out.

Now who is overreacting and acting...bitter even.

 

[libster06]

Now who is overreacting and acting...bitter even.

I just don't see how this situation is much different than something that would go on "in the real world."

 

[BlacKAT33]

I just don't see how this situation is much different than something that would go on "in the real world."

I think he just means that he has seen worse and that the situation could be worse. Not that this isn't the real world.

Lets calm down lol Everyone has stated their opinion and lilmissflirt has learned a lot from hearing all of the responses

 

[awaring1]

Now everyone calm down and get back to entertaining me with wild stories of a forbidden love gone awry.


ASAP.

 

[libster06]

I think he just means that he has seen worse and that the situation could be worse. Not that this isn't the real world.

I'm sure it could. No one said this was a worst-case scenario.

 

[lilmissflirt]

Thanks again to everyone for your advice! The nature of this issue has made it very difficult for me to discuss to people I know so I turned to you guys. Just thought I would let you guys know what I ended up doing. After some discussion and thinking we have decided to put any notion of relationship on hiatus until after the semester finishes. Then spend some time getting to know each other discreetly over the summer and if we are both committed to making it long term he is going to disclose it to the admin at school. He thought about doing it now in case it got leaked over summer but after some discussion we have decided that its not worth the risk to his job when we don't even know if its something that will work. He can't be fired for dating a student but if its not handled correctly with the school it could affect his advancement (although he has been considering returning to practice).

While this is still not the most ethical solution at this time I am okay with it. I understand that the chemistry may still be there if we wait a couple more years but I don't want to spend years waiting (I know selfish). This way all summer when we can have a normal relationship (well more normal) and figure stuff out before dealing with all the red tape. he is not overly concerned with the school as long as he discloses it. His biggest concern is my classmates. Like some of you mentioned , his concern is that people may assume my good grades were a result of our relationship even though we were not even seeing each other when he evaluated me. He has assured me that he in no way has favoured me more than any other student when dealing with academics. He did teach me in the start of the semester but that was prior to any boundaries being crossed. He did admit that he does have students who are his favorites but when dealing with grades its all numbers and he marks everyone objectively. The other concern he had was that if we were to go public I will always be known as the girl who slept with her prof to my colleagues. So while he has more at stake in terms of his job his primary concerns over how this will affect me (which I appreciate). After thinking about this I still want to go ahead with it. Its about more then physical attraction. Theres something that tells me that this may be something that lasts ( naive? maybe but if I don't try I will never know).

Thanks again for all the responses! You guys are the best!

 

[awaring1]

Thanks again to everyone for your advice! The nature of this issue has made it very difficult for me to discuss to people I know so I turned to you guys. Just thought I would let you guys know what I ended up doing. After some discussion and thinking we have decided to put any notion of relationship on hiatus until after the semester finishes. Then spend some time getting to know each other discreetly over the summer and if we are both committed to making it long term he is going to disclose it to the admin at school. He thought about doing it now in case it got leaked over summer but after some discussion we have decided that its not worth the risk to his job when we don't even know if its something that will work. He can't be fired for dating a student but if its not handled correctly with the school it could affect his advancement (although he has been considering returning to practice).

While this is still not the most ethical solution at this time I am okay with it. I understand that the chemistry may still be there if we wait a couple more years but I don't want to spend years waiting (I know selfish). This way all summer when we can have a normal relationship (well more normal) and figure stuff out before dealing with all the red tape. he is not overly concerned with the school as long as he discloses it. His biggest concern is my classmates. Like some of you mentioned , his concern is that people may assume my good grades were a result of our relationship even though we were not even seeing each other when he evaluated me. He has assured me that he in no way has favoured me more than any other student when dealing with academics. He did teach me in the start of the semester but that was prior to any boundaries being crossed. He did admit that he does have students who are his favorites but when dealing with grades its all numbers and he marks everyone objectively. The other concern he had was that if we were to go public I will always be known as the girl who slept with her prof to my colleagues. So while he has more at stake in terms of his job his primary concerns over how this will affect me (which I appreciate). After thinking about this I still want to go ahead with it. Its about more then physical attraction. Theres something that tells me that this may be something that lasts ( naive? maybe but if I don't try I will never know).

Thanks again for all the responses! You guys are the best!

Sounds like a solid plan. 👍

I personally don't think it is such a big deal. If you were in undergrad it could be a little sketchy but in professional school everyone is supposed to be adults.

Maybe it is because I knew some really "interesting" situations in high school (a 17 year old sleeping with her 36 year old married boss with with children older than her and ruining the marriage, an 18 year old dating a 60+ year old that her mom helped her hook up with...)

I do not judge too harshly. 🙂

 

[BlacKAT33]

good luck with everything! oh and please update if you end up marrying him in a couple years lol

 

[AHorseOffCourse]

Sounds like a plan you can live with 🙂

 

[flyhi]

Guess what? There are about a billion other men where that came from. Thanks to the magic of procreation. No need to dip your pen in the company ink.

in vet school? really? i must be in the wrong lecture theatre...

 

[Dsmoody23]

 

[moosenanny]

Haha, one of our professors here looks JUST like The Dude. Well, not a perfect match, but as good as you'll ever find 🙂 He has the laid-back attitude too!

 

[libster06]

in vet school? really? i must be in the wrong lecture theatre...

No, outside of vet school, in life in general, looking for intelligent, attractive funny women. Thus why I used the pen-ink analogy. There are some in vet school too though. Not as many.