I agree with a number of the things I've read in this thread. Many grad students won't stick their necks out to tell applicants (whom they've just met
& have no reason to trust) the truths about the program in question. This can be a combination of fear of backlash & a staunch programmatic culture of keeping your mouth shut & making a program look good. I'm at the end of my grad student tenure & have been treated very badly (i.e., abusive), yet I have never let on to applicants. I know better. We're "trained" about what to say & how to say it (e.g., flakey advisor who doesnt meet deadlines &/or can make it difficult for a student to complete milestones on schedule can be described as an advisor that "won't hold your hand & expects you to work independently"). As the years have gone on, I've dealt with my conscience by saying less & less to applicants...by being more passive during the interview process. I refuse to directly lie about anything, so I just sweat bullets as I hope that the applicants don't ask anything directly that I can't comfortably tell a "somewhat truth" about. Yet Im a nice person who is easy to be comfortable around, so I think its easy for applicants to miss the general tone of the program or lab. One year, an applicant (whom I will always remember as particularly savvy) came close to blowing us grad students' cover. The applicant asked, "Do you like Dr. _______"? The silence was deafening...until one of the grad students fumbled to say something palatable & kind of true. I was impressed with the clarity of that applicant's question. With the knowledge I now have, I would ask an entirely different set of questions if applying again. Namely, I would ask things like, How does Dr. __________ treat you? or Have you been able to complete your milestones in a timely manner? or Where have Dr. _________s prior students ended up? or How well does Dr. ________ maintain collaborative relationships with his/her prior grad students? (etc.) Even if the grad student opts for a PC response, you should be able to tell a lot by HOW the grad student responds & what the grad student does NOT say. And P.S., dont assume you can tell how an advisor would be based on niceties at interviews. I can tell you from personal experience that some people are highly skilled at first impressions or impressions made in distant, low-contact relationships, but unable to keep their cover once youre in the folds of the program & have heavy/frequent contact with them. Like me, you can successfully complete a program with a horrible, flakey, abusive advisor, but your advisor is pretty much the determining factor in what type of grad school experience youll have & whether or not youll have the opportunities necessary to pursue your desired career path. Bottom line: be alert, pay attention, & dont allow your desperation to get into grad school make you blind to all the clues being doled out on interview day.