The hardest workers are..ortho, lets do a bilateral hip on that 97 year old before they wack reimbursements.
Most cerebral? Rheumatology, then give em all steroids.
Best Paid? MD VIP, no fellowship required, kiss CT surg gooedbye.
Geekiest? ID, fortune say "do not treat asymptomatic bacturia in the elderly"
Rock Stars? Intensivists, "gonna tube him, bronch her, then pan culture that one, the nurses got what for lunch in the breakroom?"
Laziest? Geriatrics vs palliative care/hospice. It just doesnt matter.
Best Dressed? Cardio - got to wear the Boss and look like reimbursements are still good since I kissed so much ass to get here. Hope with nuchs cut 30% I can still keep the Boxter.
Worst Dressed? GI, aint gonna get schnit stains on my Armani
Smartest? H/O vs Nephro, should have gone into derm
Most compassionate? Primary care, aka actually listen and examine the patient and care about the low back pain, fatigue, and solar keratosis
Most laid back? Pulmonology, OK so the spiriva and the home O2 aint cuttin it and you wont stop smoking, lets add some mometasone and see yo back for f/u CT in 3 months.
Most uptight? Program Director. Enough said.
Best looking? Nutritionists vs PT/OT, with the occasioanl superstar nurse, but getting rarer. They tossed all the drug reps and maybe a DO student here and there but never MD. What we say is when some doctor actually starts looking bangable, you exceeded the 80 hour rule.
Best Personality? hospitalist, I just got back from a week in Bermuda, whens your next vacation?
