Suicide in medical school

[JL316]

I heard from acquaintances at various medical schools that quite a few medical students commit suicide. The latest one was from a "happy" medical school with "strong camaraderie" in the South. This makes me quite nervous about the journey ahead of me.

---

Members don't see this ad.

 

[Hospitalized]

There are depressed people everywhere; people commit suicide in every profession.

 

[whatever5]

What are you scared of? All you have to do is not commit suicide.

 

[Monkey.King]

What are you scared of? All you have to do is not commit suicide.

Or just don't go period. Besides, if your worrying about suicide it should be after you actually become a doctor, the profession of physicians have one of the highest if not the highest suicide rate of any profession. Around 400 per year

 

[sosoreal]

Life is hard
Learn how deal with setbacks and failures and u will be fine
It's easier said than done though .


Sent from my iPhone using SDN mobile

 

[Mansamusa]

Suicides are common in highly competitive fields where students feel a lot of pressure to succeed, and then you add in the workload and disgusting amounts of debt and you get a mess. Look at Cornell's suicide bridge. I had suicides at my undergrad as well

If you are concerned, seek support. We should all be more willing to talk about these things and share our concerns with each other, but in the end, it's important to minimize self-pressure, seek support when you need it, and be aware of signs in other so you can direct them to the support they need

 

[MerYangBey]

I think it would help med students if talking about depression and anxiety was less taboo. It would also help if they knew it wouldn't come back to hurt them in any way in the future.

Saying that life is hard deal with it is exactly what's wrong with our culture in general.
Life is hard - get help.
Life is hard- talk about it.

 

[Salt Salt]

There are depressed people everywhere; people commit suicide in every profession.

This statement strikes me as evasive, since it doesn't acknowledge that there are significant differences in rates of suicide/depression between different professions. These differences exist and should be analyzed and addressed head-on.

Or just don't go period. Besides, if your worrying about suicide it should be after you actually become a doctor, the profession of physicians have one of the highest if not the highest suicide rate of any profession. Around 400 per year

It's true that the physician suicide rate is about 2x the normal population's, but it's generally accepted that this is mostly because physicians are simply better at successfully completing a suicide attempt (makes sense—they have access to powerful drugs as well as a good understanding of the human body). The vast majority of suicide attempts are unsuccessful, so it makes sense that physicians would have higher suicide rates than the general population, even if they have the same suicide attempt rate.

 

[Mad Jack]

This statement strikes me as evasive, since it doesn't acknowledge that there are significant differences in rates of suicide/depression between different professions. These differences exist and should be analyzed and addressed head-on.



It's true that the physician suicide rate is about 2x the normal population's, but it's generally accepted that this is mostly because physicians are simply better at successfully completing a suicide attempt (makes sense—they have access to powerful drugs as well as a good understanding of the human body). The vast majority of suicide attempts are unsuccessful, so it makes sense that physicians would have higher suicide rates than the general population, even if they have the same suicide attempt rate.

Our suicide rate is the unfortunate side effect of a good knowledge of physiology, strong attention to detail, and an ability to complete tasks successfully, basically. It's similar to how guns are a risk factor for suicide- it isn't that the guns make you want to die more they merely provide a successful means. As a physician, you know how basically everything around you can be used to successfully kill yourself and thus have greatly expanded access to means of successful suicide than a layperson.

Or at least that's my theory, which fits with other access-based observations in regard to successful suicide completion rates.

 

[italiancowgirl]

I strongly encourage students of all mental states to investigate what counseling programs there are at your school. Establishing care with a counselor (if your school offers it) can be a great way to prepare for hard times and negative emotions you will inevitably encounter in a time when your education will push you in almost every way. Also make sure to check in with friends and family often, be sensative to your own emotions and try to promote honest discussion but also be sensative to how others may be feeling and how you can support them. That is much better use for your concern in my opinion. You do have the ability to help create a supportive and caring community to help when we all eventually fall.

 

[Salt Salt]

I heard from acquaintances at various medical schools that quite a few medical students commit suicide. The latest one was from a "happy" medical school with "strong camaraderie" in the South. This makes me quite nervous about the journey ahead of me.

Medical school is stressful but it's worth noting that most medical students won't struggle with depression during medical school. (Nearly everyone will be exhausted and stressed, of course, but this is different from full-blown depression.) The rates of depression are something like 10-30% higher in medical students, if memory serves correctly, but according to Wikipedia, "In North America, the probability of having a major depressive episode within a year-long period is 3–5% for males and 8–10% for females." So a 10-30% increase on this still leaves the risk of a major depressive episode below 10% per year.

 

[SnakeDoc9497]

Google Dr. Stuart Slavin at SLU.

http://www.slu.edu/rel-news-slavin-med-ed-325

He's done a tremendous amount of work in this area and has actually redesigned the medical school curriculum there to foster more mental wellness in medical school. The suicide issue is very important and has largely been ignored by most medical schools. Whatever you do, don't go in with the classic "this won't happen to me" ideation. Do a little bit of research on resilience and cognititve restructuring.

 

[JustAPhD]

This statement strikes me as evasive, since it doesn't acknowledge that there are significant differences in rates of suicide/depression between different professions. These differences exist and should be analyzed and addressed head-on.

It's true that the physician suicide rate is about 2x the normal population's, but it's generally accepted that this is mostly because physicians are simply better at successfully completing a suicide attempt (makes sense—they have access to powerful drugs as well as a good understanding of the human body). The vast majority of suicide attempts are unsuccessful, so it makes sense that physicians would have higher suicide rates than the general population, even if they have the same suicide attempt rate.

I don't think the increase in physician suicide can simply be explained by physicians being more effective at carrying out suicide. For example, let's compare the UKs suicide rates by profession*. Physicians are not in the top 30, with professions such as artists, musicians, and librarians all well above the average ---professions that obviously do not have the same knowledge of the human body and how to destroy it. Now I'm not going to sit here and say (type?) comparing UK to US physicians is a comparison without flaws, but I do think the problem is not as simple as saying doctors are better at killing themselves.


*Roberts SE, Jaremin B, Lloyd K. High-risk occupations for suicide.Psychological Medicine. 2013;43(6):1231-1240. doi:10.1017

 

[Salt Salt]

I don't think the increase in physician suicide can simply be explained by physicians being more effective at carrying out suicide. For example, let's compare the UKs suicide rates by profession*. Physicians are not in the top 30, with professions such as artists, musicians, and librarians all well above the average ---professions that obviously do not have the same knowledge of the human body and how to destroy it. Now I'm not going to sit here and say (type?) comparing UK to US physicians is a comparison without flaws, but I do think the problem is not as simple as saying doctors are better at killing themselves.


*Roberts SE, Jaremin B, Lloyd K. High-risk occupations for suicide.Psychological Medicine. 2013;43(6):1231-1240. doi:10.1017

No one is saying that knowledge of the human body/access to powerful drugs is a necessary prerequisite to a high suicide rate. Artists/librarians/musicians can have a higher suicide rate than the general population if they have a higher suicide attempt rate than the general population. This in no way suggests that the physicians-are-good-at-killing-themselves hypothesis is incorrect.

 

[Mansamusa]

I don't think the increase in physician suicide can simply be explained by physicians being more effective at carrying out suicide. For example, let's compare the UKs suicide rates by profession*. Physicians are not in the top 30, with professions such as artists, musicians, and librarians all well above the average ---professions that obviously do not have the same knowledge of the human body and how to destroy it. Now I'm not going to sit here and say (type?) comparing UK to US physicians is a comparison without flaws, but I do think the problem is not as simple as saying doctors are better at killing themselves.


*Roberts SE, Jaremin B, Lloyd K. High-risk occupations for suicide.Psychological Medicine. 2013;43(6):1231-1240. doi:10.1017

Yep, I think there are stresses inherent to medicine and then those that are not necessary. I think a lot of focus has been on how to manage the stress and not enough on eliminating unecessary stressors. In order to fully address the problem, both aspects need to be studied

 

[Salt Salt]

I don't think the increase in physician suicide can simply be explained by physicians being more effective at carrying out suicide. For example, let's compare the UKs suicide rates by profession*. Physicians are not in the top 30, with professions such as artists, musicians, and librarians all well above the average ---professions that obviously do not have the same knowledge of the human body and how to destroy it. Now I'm not going to sit here and say (type?) comparing UK to US physicians is a comparison without flaws, but I do think the problem is not as simple as saying doctors are better at killing themselves.


*Roberts SE, Jaremin B, Lloyd K. High-risk occupations for suicide.Psychological Medicine. 2013;43(6):1231-1240. doi:10.1017

Actually, even the article you cite says the high physician suicide rate is largely due to increased ease in killing oneself: "Easy access to a means of committing suicide (pharmaceuticals, guns or drowning) has become regarded widely as a major determinant of high suicide rates in most of these occupations." (First paragraph of Intro)

 

[Mansamusa]

Actually, even the article you cite says the high physician suicide rate is largely due to increased ease in killing oneself: "Easy access to a means of committing suicide (pharmaceuticals, guns or drowning) has become regarded widely as a major determinant of high suicide rates in most of these occupations." (First paragraph of Intro)

But then they went on to say that suicide in those professions decreased (in total number of suicide- not just relative to other professions) by 2001 even though knowledge of how best to kill yourself remained. That suggests that there was something making physicians want to kill themselves in the 80s that was later addressed.

And if you look back a decade here, doctors werent at the top for suicide. And still, lawyers have a high suicide rate and no medical knowledge. Nurses and PAs have enough medical knowledge, but don't have the suicide rates. Plus, if you look up on the internet "how to commit suicide," you will get a ton of info.

I think our knowledge plays a part, but isn't the main issue. There is much more to it.

 

[JustAPhD]

Actually, even the article you cite says the high physician suicide rate is largely due to increased ease in killing oneself: "Easy access to a means of committing suicide (pharmaceuticals, guns or drowning) has become regarded widely as a major determinant of high suicide rates in most of these occupations." (First paragraph of Intro)

It is tough to draw conclusions based on suicide rate/100,000 individuals when the suicide completion/suicide attempts data is not present. Maybe this data is out there, but I've never stumbled across it. I have a feeling this data would be very hard to accurately gather though.I'm not arguing that physicians have the means to kill themselves better than other professions, I'm saying that there is more to this than that.

Look at the change in the two data sets between professions I listed above:

Doctors: 64% decrease
Artists 54% increase

I'm willing to bet there's more to this story.

Edit: Actually if you look at the %change it's fairly interesting.

Vets -74%
Pharms -73%
Biological Scientists -62%

All have the knowledge and chemicals to kill themselves, yet as @Mansamusa pointed out it seems there was a dramatic shift post 80's.

Edit2:

Ultimately this debate could be resolved in about a split second if someone finds a study comparing suicide attempt rates to the general population.

Agreed. Although as many suicide attempts go unreported this would be quite tricky, unfortunately.

 

[Salt Salt]

But then they went on to say that suicide in those professions decreased (in total number of suicide- not just relative to other professions) by 2001 even though knowledge of how best to kill yourself remained. That suggests that there was something making physicians want to kill themselves in the 80s that was later addressed.

And if you look back a decade here, doctors werent at the top for suicide. And still, lawyers have a high suicide rate and no medical knowledge. Nurses and PAs have enough medical knowledge, but don't have the suicide rates. Plus, if you look up on the internet "how to commit suicide," you will get a ton of info.

I think our knowledge plays a part, but isn't the main issue. There is much more to it.

Again, I never said that knowledge of the human body/access to powerful drugs is a necessary prerequisite to a high suicide rate (hence the lawyers example). I just think it accounts for most of why physician suicide rates are higher. But yes, I agree that there are likely other factors.

Ultimately this debate could be resolved in about a split second if someone finds a study comparing suicide attempt rates to the general population. If the rate is the exact same, that implies that almost all of the higher suicide rate is due to better completion of suicide. And if the suicide attempt rate is much higher than the general population, that implies that the higher suicide rate is more due to factors beyond better completion. Would be interesting to know!

 

[piii]

There are depressed people everywhere; people commit suicide in every profession.

It just isn't that simple unfortunately :/

The suicide rate for the general population is about 13 deaths per 100,000 people.
For medical students, last year about 130 committed suicide per 20,000 students.

 

[thrudheim]

Just in case any pre-health or med student now, or in the future, search and find this thread in a time of desperation:

If you're struggling with self-harm:

• http://www.selfinjury.com/about/ or 1–800-DONT-CUT

National Suicide Prevention Hotline:

• 1–800–273-TALK

 

[whitemagic]

It just isn't that simple unfortunately :/

The suicide rate for the general population is about 13 deaths per 100,000 people.
For medical students, last year about 130 committed suicide per 20,000 students.

LMAO, do you have a source for this?? That's COMPLETE horse ****. That's basically saying that every year, an entire med school class commits suicide.

 

[Hospitalized]

It just isn't that simple unfortunately :/

The suicide rate for the general population is about 13 deaths per 100,000 people.
For medical students, last year about 130 committed suicide per 20,000 students.

I never said anything about numbers. My post implies that just because you are a medical student does not mean you are invincible to depression and suicide.

 

[maxwell_edison]

It is a risk. Any high stress, high intensity profession can have it. Especially ones with serious moral challenges/injuries (Doctors, some lawyers, soldiers).

Medicine makes it worse: Add in Sleep deprivation and hopelessness. Long hours and familial stress/divorce. Intractable debt which requires a physician's salary to pay of, without a chance for bankruptcy: so no way to fail/give up at medicine. It's not a good mix.

It's important to really be cognizant of your humanity, and talk when you need it.

 

[Salt Salt]

It just isn't that simple unfortunately :/

The suicide rate for the general population is about 13 deaths per 100,000 people.
For medical students, last year about 130 committed suicide per 20,000 students.

Sorry, this is false (normally I would say "citation needed" but in this case it's definitely just false). The medical student suicide rate is not 50x higher than the general population.


Sent from my iPhone using SDN mobile

 

[piii]

LMAO, do you have a source for this?? That's COMPLETE horse ****. That's basically saying that every year, an entire med school class commits suicide.

lol way to look sound like a total knob. "LMAO!!!1!!"

...Just quoting an article I've read

www.huffingtonpost.ca/amitha-kalaichandran/physician-suicide_b_8665388.html

but following the sources doesn't turn up any meaningful info so yeah it probably is inflated.
So jeez my mistake bud!

But still 400 physicians in the US commit suicide each year, and that's double a class. http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/806779-overview

You have to remember that suicides often go unreported as well.

 

[piii]

Sorry, this is false (normally I would say "citation needed" but in this case it's definitely just false). The medical student suicide rate is not 50x higher than the general population.


Sent from my iPhone using SDN mobile

https://www.aamc.org/newsroom/reporter/september2015/442222/suicide.html

"among physicians are something like 40 to 70 percent higher in males and 130 to 300 percent higher in women."

Not 50x, but significantly important

 

[Salt Salt]

https://www.aamc.org/newsroom/reporter/september2015/442222/suicide.html

"among physicians are something like 40 to 70 percent higher in males and 130 to 300 percent higher in women."

Not 50x, but significantly important

So that's something like 1.5x more for men and 2.5-4x more for women—a far cry from 50x more. Never trust HuffPo. They let anyone write for them

Also, this is for physicians, not medical students, like you said originally


Sent from my iPhone using SDN mobile

 

[whitemagic]

But still 400 physicians in the US commit suicide each year, and that's double a class. http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/806779-overview

400 physicians out of an estimated 990,000 physicians in the US.....is much different from 130 students out of 20,000 students. Not sure what point exactly you're trying to make there. Also, lol @ "I have a source...here it is...huffington post."

 

[piii]

400 physicians out of an estimated 990,000 physicians in the US.....is much different from 130 students out of 20,000 students. Not sure what point exactly you're trying to make there. Also, lol @ "I have a source...here it is...huffington post."

I read a discussion using that number and article, and then I used it as a source. I already admitted it was faulty after further review, but how dare I make a mistake! Thank the lord we have the almighty SDN source police to govern this forum!

 

[Salt Salt]

source police

Imagine the quality of political discussion we would have in the USA if the Source Police were actually a real thing. Sigh... maybe one day 😉

 

[whitemagic]

I read a discussion using that number and article, and then I used it as a source. I already admitted it was faulty after further review, but how dare I make a mistake! Thank the lord we have the almighty SDN source police to govern this forum!

To naive pre-meds, seeing somebody proclaim that the average medical student suicide rate is 50x the suicide rate for the gen pop. would probably scare them off or dissuade them, so its important that these things are accurate. Also, a source police sounds like an awesome idea 😉

 

[italiancowgirl]

In medicine you can't usually have a laissez faire attitude about proclaiming stats. So this is a quick chance for a life lesson in appropriately using references to support discussions. This helps your future patients get great care, and builds trust in the professionals around you. Good job to people referencing appropriately.

 

[JL316]

Thanks for helpful replies, guys. I guess I will just go with my gut feelings and start medical school.

 

[nalrod]

i'm ms2 now, and i feel i conned myself into believing medicine had the ethical high-ground, scientific mission, and humanitarian ideal that it always claimed. i bought into the generic kindergarten morality of 'helping people' when I never asked myself if it's worth helping people, being born, or even living life at all. i'm convinced that the only moral activity now for physicians in postindustrial society is performing abortions, vasectomies, physician-assisted suicides, hysterectomies, and shutting down fertility clinics. The only way to reduce misery on this planet, short of nuking ourselves, is to prevent as many people as possible from ever having to exist in the first place. Maybe suicides will prevent other sensitive intelligent people from falling into the glimmering trap of corporate medicine - ready-made prestige, reflexive parental/social approval, fistfuls of hope & money jammed down our eager throats, and the promise that we won't be 'wasting' our lives as sycophants, con artists with phony smiles building fortunes for insurance companies; we are fools, and our lives get wasted just like everyone elses. No redemption - no salvation; just meaninglessness stretching beyond the horizon in every direction... i don't see why there's not more nihilism in medicine - maybe i should start a 'human extinction' interest group at my school... ...and i, oddly, had such intractable optimism at matriculation - everyone said i was going to make a great doctor: i believed them essentially because i was willing to, once again, trust the same smiling charlatans that sold me the lies of santa claus, freedom, progress, and God. Now i'm so angry at myself that i want to destroy everything i've built, because what i once thought was a palace - turns out to be a prison that i built for myself alone. All of my dreams have turned into nightmares; i swear i'll never hope for a 'better life' again.

 

[UserUnidentified420]

i'm ms2 now, and i feel i conned myself into believing medicine had the ethical high-ground, scientific mission, and humanitarian ideal that it always claimed. i bought into the generic kindergarten morality of 'helping people' when I never asked myself if it's worth helping people, being born, or even living life at all. i'm convinced that the only moral activity now for physicians in postindustrial society is performing abortions, vasectomies, physician-assisted suicides, hysterectomies, and shutting down fertility clinics. The only way to reduce misery on this planet, short of nuking ourselves, is to prevent as many people as possible from ever having to exist in the first place. Maybe suicides will prevent other sensitive intelligent people from falling into the glimmering trap of corporate medicine - ready-made prestige, reflexive parental/social approval, fistfuls of hope & money jammed down our eager throats, and the promise that we won't be 'wasting' our lives as sycophants, con artists with phony smiles building fortunes for insurance companies; we are fools, and our lives get wasted just like everyone elses. No redemption - no salvation; just meaninglessness stretching beyond the horizon in every direction... i don't see why there's not more nihilism in medicine - maybe i should start a 'human extinction' interest group at my school... ...and i, oddly, had such intractable optimism at matriculation - everyone said i was going to make a great doctor: i believed them essentially because i was willing to, once again, trust the same smiling charlatans that sold me the lies of santa claus, freedom, progress, and God. Now i'm so angry at myself that i want to destroy everything i've built, because what i once thought was a palace - turns out to be a prison that i built for myself alone. All of my dreams have turned into nightmares; i swear i'll never hope for a 'better life' again.

I just ... What??? I'm joining medicine because I want to help people. But wow dude are you ok?????

 

[Goro]

Go see a therapist, STAT.

Evidence #1 as to why I say med school is a furnace.

i'm ms2 now, and i feel i conned myself into believing medicine had the ethical high-ground, scientific mission, and humanitarian ideal that it always claimed. i bought into the generic kindergarten morality of 'helping people' when I never asked myself if it's worth helping people, being born, or even living life at all. i'm convinced that the only moral activity now for physicians in postindustrial society is performing abortions, vasectomies, physician-assisted suicides, hysterectomies, and shutting down fertility clinics. The only way to reduce misery on this planet, short of nuking ourselves, is to prevent as many people as possible from ever having to exist in the first place. Maybe suicides will prevent other sensitive intelligent people from falling into the glimmering trap of corporate medicine - ready-made prestige, reflexive parental/social approval, fistfuls of hope & money jammed down our eager throats, and the promise that we won't be 'wasting' our lives as sycophants, con artists with phony smiles building fortunes for insurance companies; we are fools, and our lives get wasted just like everyone elses. No redemption - no salvation; just meaninglessness stretching beyond the horizon in every direction... i don't see why there's not more nihilism in medicine - maybe i should start a 'human extinction' interest group at my school... ...and i, oddly, had such intractable optimism at matriculation - everyone said i was going to make a great doctor: i believed them essentially because i was willing to, once again, trust the same smiling charlatans that sold me the lies of santa claus, freedom, progress, and God. Now i'm so angry at myself that i want to destroy everything i've built, because what i once thought was a palace - turns out to be a prison that i built for myself alone. All of my dreams have turned into nightmares; i swear i'll never hope for a 'better life' again.

 

[Sardinia]

@nalrod A resident was telling me they were injecting kids with human growth hormone at the parent's request in hopes of their kids being that crapshoot NBA player.

If you feel a great moral cause, there are plenty of outlets once you become a practicing physician. Unless working for Doctors Without Borders, the World Health Organization, or for some downtown free clinic have some beef that I don't know about. I'd think that being a certified MD/DO is perhaps one of the most liberating careers as you can choose which company, organization, or sector of health you wish to advance that stands closest to your principles and modus operandi.

 

[libertyyne]

Our suicide rate is the unfortunate side effect of a good knowledge of physiology, strong attention to detail, and an ability to complete tasks successfully, basically. It's similar to how guns are a risk factor for suicide- it isn't that the guns make you want to die more, it's that, as a physician, you know how basically everything around you can be used to successfully kill yourself and thus have greatly expanded access to means of successful suicide than a layperson.

Or at least that's my theory, which fits with other access-based observations in regard to successful suicide completion rates.

this is an interesting hypothesis. Some quick googling proves this actually maybe the case. Makes sense and what stands out is the successful suicide attempts of female physicians.
https://afsp.org/our-work/education/physician-medical-student-depression-suicide-prevention/

 

[coldcase331]

I heard from acquaintances at various medical schools that quite a few medical students commit suicide. The latest one was from a "happy" medical school with "strong camaraderie" in the South. This makes me quite nervous about the journey ahead of me.

Medical school is hard. A lot of them are designed to break you and rebuild you into a mentally strong and competent physician. When you have a life/death situation in the ER at 3 am, you need to make sure you don't have a mental breakdown and can treat the patient effectively. While there is an abnormally high rate of suicide in the profession, the vast majority get through it just fine. The key is getting help as soon as you feel like you are starting to get depressed/having mental issues. Many schools will tell you during orientation that there is no stigma and to seek help, I would listen to their advice.

 

[Hospitalized]

i'm ms2 now, and i feel i conned myself into believing medicine had the ethical high-ground, scientific mission, and humanitarian ideal that it always claimed. i bought into the generic kindergarten morality of 'helping people' when I never asked myself if it's worth helping people, being born, or even living life at all. i'm convinced that the only moral activity now for physicians in postindustrial society is performing abortions, vasectomies, physician-assisted suicides, hysterectomies, and shutting down fertility clinics. The only way to reduce misery on this planet, short of nuking ourselves, is to prevent as many people as possible from ever having to exist in the first place. Maybe suicides will prevent other sensitive intelligent people from falling into the glimmering trap of corporate medicine - ready-made prestige, reflexive parental/social approval, fistfuls of hope & money jammed down our eager throats, and the promise that we won't be 'wasting' our lives as sycophants, con artists with phony smiles building fortunes for insurance companies; we are fools, and our lives get wasted just like everyone elses. No redemption - no salvation; just meaninglessness stretching beyond the horizon in every direction... i don't see why there's not more nihilism in medicine - maybe i should start a 'human extinction' interest group at my school... ...and i, oddly, had such intractable optimism at matriculation - everyone said i was going to make a great doctor: i believed them essentially because i was willing to, once again, trust the same smiling charlatans that sold me the lies of santa claus, freedom, progress, and God. Now i'm so angry at myself that i want to destroy everything i've built, because what i once thought was a palace - turns out to be a prison that i built for myself alone. All of my dreams have turned into nightmares; i swear i'll never hope for a 'better life' again.

Awww. You didn't realize you were going to be working with the public, did you?

 

[Sardinia]

Awww. You didn't realize you were going to be working with the public, did you?

What an abysmal response.

 

[Hospitalized]

What an abysmal response.

How so?

 

[Sardinia]

How so?

If that's all you extrapolated from his paragraph then you are in for an equally rude awakening.

 

[Hospitalized]

If that's all you extrapolated from his paragraph then you are in for an equally rude awakening.

Does my post have to include everything I gathered? That was my quickest response. Clearly there's more to it.

 

[MareNostrummm]

i'm ms2 now, and i feel i conned myself into believing medicine had the ethical high-ground, scientific mission, and humanitarian ideal that it always claimed. i bought into the generic kindergarten morality of 'helping people' when I never asked myself if it's worth helping people, being born, or even living life at all. i'm convinced that the only moral activity now for physicians in postindustrial society is performing abortions, vasectomies, physician-assisted suicides, hysterectomies, and shutting down fertility clinics. The only way to reduce misery on this planet, short of nuking ourselves, is to prevent as many people as possible from ever having to exist in the first place. Maybe suicides will prevent other sensitive intelligent people from falling into the glimmering trap of corporate medicine - ready-made prestige, reflexive parental/social approval, fistfuls of hope & money jammed down our eager throats, and the promise that we won't be 'wasting' our lives as sycophants, con artists with phony smiles building fortunes for insurance companies; we are fools, and our lives get wasted just like everyone elses. No redemption - no salvation; just meaninglessness stretching beyond the horizon in every direction... i don't see why there's not more nihilism in medicine - maybe i should start a 'human extinction' interest group at my school... ...and i, oddly, had such intractable optimism at matriculation - everyone said i was going to make a great doctor: i believed them essentially because i was willing to, once again, trust the same smiling charlatans that sold me the lies of santa claus, freedom, progress, and God. Now i'm so angry at myself that i want to destroy everything i've built, because what i once thought was a palace - turns out to be a prison that i built for myself alone. All of my dreams have turned into nightmares; i swear i'll never hope for a 'better life' again.

Sounds like you are already within the depths of depression. You need to start fighting it now or it will only go deeper and deeper. Go easy on yourself, it could take you anywhere from 6 months to 2+ years before you are back to a more optimistic and balanced perspective. When you recover, you will look at what you have written and realize that it is an excessively negative and extravagant, and question how you reached this point to begin with.