D
deleted804629
Last edited by a moderator:
- Joined
- Apr 27, 2004
- Messages
- 12,204
- Reaction score
- 7,337
Hard to give any specific advice. Seems like you are approaching it correctly in a mature way. Life is about tradeoffs and sometimes tradeoffs are a bitch.
I think you may be being a bit overly pessimistic about your options raising your child away from family though. Are you a single mother? I've had experience raising children (though I am a male and my wife is not in medicine which is a MASSIVE advantage I'm aware) and while there are absolutely downsides to being away from family and we'd much rather have been closer, it is what it is and you make do. It's definitely doable.
I think you may be being a bit overly pessimistic about your options raising your child away from family though. Are you a single mother? I've had experience raising children (though I am a male and my wife is not in medicine which is a MASSIVE advantage I'm aware) and while there are absolutely downsides to being away from family and we'd much rather have been closer, it is what it is and you make do. It's definitely doable.
- Joined
- May 10, 2006
- Messages
- 134
- Reaction score
- 3
Have you looked at any of the surgical subspecialties (e.g. ophthalmology, ENT) where you will get to do surgery and potentially spend more time with your family?
- Joined
- Mar 19, 2014
- Messages
- 1,466
- Reaction score
- 1,616
So I am applying for general surgery and am, for the most part, very excited about it. My issue is that I have a kid and am therefore extremely limited geographically. If I attend any of 3 programs, I will have excellent family support since I can live by my large extended family and know that my kid will have great care and I won't have to deal with complicated childcare issues if he needs to be picked up from daycare/school early or is sick etc. Basically, I have a very loving little village to help. I have done my best to optimize my chances of matching at those programs, and I think I have a decent shot, but they are unfortunately all very competitive programs. I am pretty tough and competent (I made it this far and have done pretty well with a baby and my fair share of adversity, etc) but I know my limits, and that include doing a general surgery residency somewhere without family support or my baby (sorry, I'm not leaving my kid).
My back-up was to do a prelim year if I needed to, or possibly SOAP into an easy specialty (psych, rads, path etc) that I may not be as excited about somewhere else so I wouldn't worry about childcare in the same way. But when I think about not doing surgery or getting sub-par training at a bad program I get really upset. I worked so hard to acquire all this knowledge, and I actually did do pretty well in medical school and would hate to get poor training somewhere because I ended up SOAPing or doing a prelim year.
Any advice? Anyone have experience in a similar situation? I was considering adding applications to other specialties through ERAS, but then I was afraid that would hurt my chances for surgery.
And please, no commentary about how awful surgery is for family. I get it. I hear it all the time. That's not my question.
just a note - prelim years are not guarantees of anything, and if you think that going from prelim to categorical is easy -- i'd warn you beforehand that your options will be even more limited once you choose this path.
- Joined
- Sep 29, 2014
- Messages
- 433
- Reaction score
- 847
Are any of them your home program? Do you have good personal relationships with people at the programs, any good mentors there who would go to bat for you? And are there only 3 programs in your area, or only 3 'good' programs in your area? If you do have some programs 'not as good' in your area, and you are that committed to staying in place, I'd consider them strongly; at the end of the day, you'd still graduate and be BE; and by then it might be more feasible to move for a fellowship if needed. And sometimes perception of a poor program is just that, a perception; many community programs will give excellent clinical training even if you don't get all the research and fancy name-brand recognition.
Anecdotally, I know one resident with a similar situation; ended up doing a pre-lim at her home institution, then matched categorical at the home institution the following year and repeated intern year. She submitted a rank list of one both years. I also know another resident who was single with a kid; she moved from family for residency but landed in a super benign program, got an au pair, and the kid spent a decent amount of time at the hospital hanging out in the resident lounge or with the program coordinator - things weren't great, but turned out ok.
Anecdotally, I know one resident with a similar situation; ended up doing a pre-lim at her home institution, then matched categorical at the home institution the following year and repeated intern year. She submitted a rank list of one both years. I also know another resident who was single with a kid; she moved from family for residency but landed in a super benign program, got an au pair, and the kid spent a decent amount of time at the hospital hanging out in the resident lounge or with the program coordinator - things weren't great, but turned out ok.
