Take a second to laugh before your next Prozac...

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VegasBabyVegas

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For all you stressed out fools, how bout some humor...if you're not married or living with someone, you might not laugh as hard.

How To Shower Like a Woman: ::::::

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights
and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-
ups/leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide
loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with real passion
fruit.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mold spots with Tilex.

Get out of shower and stand on bathmat.

Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.



How To Shower Like a Man:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge! of the bed and leave them in a
pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo' sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.

Get in the shower Wash your face. Wash your armpits .

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.



Pee.

Rinse off and get out of shower. Avoid bathmat.

Dry off forearms and butt only.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole
time.

Admire wiener size in mirror again. Shake it to watch water fly off.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo'
sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.

.
Have a great day! And, "WOO WOO"
 
damn that's funny (and so true).
 
Now i know who was watching when i took a shower this morning.
 
VegasBabyVegas said:
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
kinda got hungry after reading this part
 
thanks for that...that was amazing and so true. im crying laughing....
 
👍 :laugh:

Hilarious. I laughed till I cried! It's so true that it's scary... Needed that diversion.
 
whats wrong with taking a piss in the shower? 😕
 
i jsut pratically pee'd myself reading the mens part.. I had to get my wife to read it while I was on the floor choking for air from laughing so hard.. after she got done reading it.. she looked at me and said... "nailed you to a tee!!" great post thank you for the comic relief!
 
LOL! Now that was NICE! :laugh:
 
"Shake it to watch water fly off."

That's a new one. I'll have to give that a try.
 
Oh I so needed that! hilarious!!! 🙂 Thanks!!!
 
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