The failure question

[itto]

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So I have been trying to decide and can't come to a conclusion as to whether or not my 'failure story' is a red flag. What do you think?

Basically, I spent a month living in a developing country working with a medical non-profit and living with a local family. The non-profit had many other facets (businesses, community farms) and I had been intending to understand who did what in the community and what we could do to improve the overall group, so I asked tons of questions about how everything worked to our local leader. I had forgotten to account for the fact that in the local culture, this comes off as arrogantly insubordinate and interrogative, to have a teenager 'questioning' a leader's work. Obviously, this wasn't my goal, but I ended up offending this man over the course of many weeks but didn't realize it until it was told to me upon returning back to the states. I learned a huge amount about considering how my actions may impact others, making sure that my questions go to the right people when I have a problem with something, and being slower to speak.

Should I share this or find something else to talk about if it comes up in my interview?
Thanks

 

[seanm028]

It sounds like you learned from the experience, so I would be inclined to say that it won't hurt to talk about it. It might actually help by showing development and maturation. Just make sure you don't try and frame it as not your fault by blaming the culture or the individual you offended. Instead, own up to your mistake and talk about what you learned from it.

 

[itto]

Oh I'm absolutely taking the blame for it. I just want to make sure that accidental cultural insensitivity doesn't come across as too concerning.

My other reasonable option is talking about repeatedly failed experiments and how they taught me to communicate my problems, find solutions, and deal with frustrations. It feels a ton safer (especially in my MD/PhD interviews) but quite a bit less meaningful.

 

[Goro]

Your greatest failure in your life was that you made a cultural faux pas????

You've been living a charmed life.

I suggest that you become better at introspection.

So I have been trying to decide and can't come to a conclusion as to whether or not my 'failure story' is a red flag. What do you think?

Basically, I spent a month living in a developing country working with a medical non-profit and living with a local family. The non-profit had many other facets (businesses, community farms) and I had been intending to understand who did what in the community and what we could do to improve the overall group, so I asked tons of questions about how everything worked to our local leader. I had forgotten to account for the fact that in the local culture, this comes off as arrogantly insubordinate and interrogative, to have a teenager 'questioning' a leader's work. Obviously, this wasn't my goal, but I ended up offending this man over the course of many weeks but didn't realize it until it was told to me upon returning back to the states. I learned a huge amount about considering how my actions may impact others, making sure that my questions go to the right people when I have a problem with something, and being slower to speak.

Should I share this or find something else to talk about if it comes up in my interview?
Thanks

 

[poop420]

Can i piggy back on this , @Goro when I was younger I grew attached to a bunch of friends who weren't the best influence, we would beat up people and cause trouble around the neighborhood (steal fruits off neighbors trees etc). I was bad as a kid but still the good boy out of the group,one day a police officer who lived in our neighborhood stopped me and told me I would be dead by the end of the year if I didnt dissociate myself from them because they were robbing people for their phones and doing other unlawful things. I dissociated myself from them but view it as a failure that I almost slipped into a life of crime and looking back on it, it was due to my need of brotherhood and wanting to belong. Since then I cleaned my act up and even joined Big Brother Big sisters on NYC to mentor a inner-city kid to give someone that brotherhood without falling in the life of crime.

 

[ChymeofPassion]

Agreeing with Goro, I'm not an adcom but that seems really weak. That wasent a failure, it was a collision of cultures, you as a bright and curious american college student, and an evidently obstinate leader-subordinate system. If you wanted to learn as much as you could and make your month the best it possibly could, ask all the questions you want. In other words, if I'm spending money to go somewhere like that I'm not going stifle my inquisitivity and lose out on an experience because of a cultural norm. Even if this is a failure of some kind, not worth talying about in the most important interview of your life

 

[Goro]

This is an excellent example!

Can i piggy back on this , @Goro when I was younger I grew attached to a bunch of friends who weren't the best influence, we would beat up people and cause trouble around the neighborhood (steal fruits off neighbors trees etc). I was bad as a kid but still the good boy out of the group,one day a police officer who lived in our neighborhood stopped me and told me I would be dead by the end of the year if I didnt dissociate myself from them because they were robbing people for their phones and doing other unlawful things. I dissociated myself from them but view it as a failure that I almost slipped into a life of crime and looking back on it, it was due to my need of brotherhood and wanting to belong. Since then I cleaned my act up and even joined Big Brother Big sisters on NYC to mentor a inner-city kid to give someone that brotherhood without falling in the life of crime.

 

[poop420]

This is an excellent example!

Thank you! I am worried about not coming off as some sort of gangsta

 

[baratheonfire]

Your greatest failure in your life was that you made a cultural faux pas????

You've been living a charmed life.

I suggest that you become better at introspection.

What about that time where I didn't understand the material in a class and never got help and just ended up getting a C+
Also I never learned anything from that experience and have remained fundamentally unchanged

 

[Goro]

This is a common meme of people who get rejected. Again, this is the worst thing that ever happened to you?

What about that time where I didn't understand the material in a class and never got help and just ended up getting a C+
Also I never learned anything from that experience and have remained fundamentally unchanged

 

[baratheonfire]

This is a common meme of people who get rejected. Again, this is the worst thing that ever happened to you?

This was tongue in cheek, but also a true incident
Of course I'd never write about this, these "failure" stories always need a positive spin

This is nowhere near the worst thing that ever happened to me. That's definitely something I do not want to talk about in med school apps.

 

[jesie]

@Goro

Is the 'worst thing that's ever happened to you' what we are really looking for in this question, though? It seems like that is more of a biggest challenge question than a biggest failure.

 

[itto]

What are we supposed to say, @Goro, when we have overcome struggles in our lives (parental, sibling, and friend suicides; socioeconomic struggles), but haven't majorly "failed" or been in situations where our choices made bad situations significantly worse? I don't want to have some sort of fight here. I just really do want to know.

I could talk about how I feel like I failed to support my brother or dad, but then it comes across like I take personal blame for things I can't control, which would be a major red flag in a future physician. Or I could say how I feel like I failed by spending a couple of years going after a dream that completely wasn't my own before I switched onto my current path after my dad's death (and a great deal of introspection; I promise, I do do that), but that failure sounds pretty charmed, too. I just don't know what is and is not appropriate to bring up in the interview.

 

[Goro]

It's not the worst thing, but the prompt is looking for a setback and resilience.

But failing a class? That's the best one can do for this? It's the flag for a hyperacheiver who lives only for academics.

@Goro

Is the 'worst thing that's ever happened to you' what we are really looking for in this question, though? It seems like that is more of a biggest challenge question than a biggest failure.

 

[jcve34]

A failure story that I ended up using was a situation that I handled badly at one point of my life that I then reflected on and realized I had failed at (insert characteristic). I end my story on how, when I was placed in almost the exact same situation, I handled it better with (insert characteristic) and the success that came from my introspection.

I am by no means a genius at what a committee looks for but I would think they want to not only see introspection but action towards changing. I am positive any good pre med has a similar story to that. Think on it.