Thinking of possibly giving up on med school

[hopelessdreamer95]

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So this my second post on this forum and all I have to say is, I'm thinking of giving up on med school or osteopathic medicine. I've been weighing in on my level of commitment towards the medical field while looking at my ****ty grades as a senior. At this point, I've become too complacent about getting C's in my transcript, which has gotten me to think I might have to be realistic. I'm following delusions of grandeur if I honestly believe I can pull off becoming a doctor when I'm already tired of being a science major in my undergrad, have little to no shadowing/volunteer experience and my apathy towards being an under-preforming student seems to take over any motivation to study or "try harder" (my level of retention has diminished over the years, so this makes studying harder nowadays). I think my ******* needs to re-evaluate her options and find a menial job after college because I don't know anymore.... Have you guys felt this way when faced with the reality that you're probably (in my case, most likely) too stupid to be accepted into med school ? Or am I just too depressed about being a failure?

 

[aladinforever]

Most people feel that they are too stupid to be accepted into medical school. This process is just hard. The fact that you've become complacent shows that you no longer want to improve in this field. Have you tried to talk to your friends/family about this? You need to figure out of you're tired of classes in undergrad because the material's boring you or due to your mentality.

Honey, the road's only uphill from here on out, from what I hear. If you don't want to do it, don't waste your time on it and find something you LOVE! If medicine is truly what you want to go into, freaking pull your **** together and apply.

 

[Mansamusa]

Well, this is where you ask yourself "why medicine? Why MD/DO?"

With just the info you gave in this thread, it sounds like you ~might~ just be chasing the idea of being a doctor (no judgment if you are; but that might be your source of apathy right now). Do some shadowing, get some medical exposure, and see if it motivates you.

The great medical innovators are smart, many top physicians are smart, but to be a good doctor you just need to be a hardworking, dedicated, and caring person.

 

[Promethean]

Lots of people "give up" on med school, believing it out of their reach for one reason or another, and find themselves circling back around to it a year or 10 later. The decisions you make are not necessarily binding on you forever.

Just don't jump in half-heartedly because that is the track you'd thought you were on. Once you apply and get an acceptance, if you have second thoughts then, you don't get a do over at that point. Take your time, explore your options, study hard and get the best grades you can going forward. Med school will be here, if/when you want it enough to do what it would take for you to get in. (Hint: a few C's aren't impossible to overcome. My early academic record has more F's than A's on it. You betcha that took some serious work to reverse, but it was doable.)

 

[Goro]

Not everyone is meant to be a doctor. This is not a moral failing.

So this my second post on this forum and all I have to say is, I'm thinking of giving up on med school or osteopathic medicine. I've been weighing in on my level of commitment towards the medical field while looking at my ****ty grades as a senior. At this point, I've become too complacent about getting C's in my transcript, which has gotten me to think I might have to be realistic. I'm following delusions of grandeur if I honestly believe I can pull off becoming a doctor when I'm already tired of being a science major in my undergrad, have little to no shadowing/volunteer experience and my apathy towards being an under-preforming student seems to take over any motivation to study or "try harder" (my level of retention has diminished over the years, so this makes studying harder nowadays). I think my ******* needs to re-evaluate her options and find a menial job after college because I don't know anymore.... Have you guys felt this way when faced with the reality that you're probably (in my case, most likely) too stupid to be accepted into med school ? Or am I just too depressed about being a failure?

 

[hopelessdreamer95]

Not everyone is meant to be a doctor. This is not a moral failing.

To me, my family, my confidence and self-esteem, it is and it makes me question why should I continue living if I realize I'm not smart enough to excel in my pre-conceived goals.

Sent from my LG-H811 using SDN mobile

 

[Goro]

Get help, right now. NOW.

To me, my family, my confidence and self-esteem, it is and it makes me question why should I continue living if I realize I'm not smart enough to excel in my pre-conceived goals.

Sent from my LG-H811 using SDN mobile

 

[hopelessdreamer95]

As in tutoring or counseling, because I've done both already

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[meditative_premed]

You ARE smart enough to excel in what truly makes you happy, and it doesn't sound like medicine is what is going to make you truly happy. SCREW what your family and friends think, deciding not to go into medicine is in no way a moral failure, but instead should be looked at as a blessing (cliche but it's true) because you don't have to waste any more time or energy trying to force yourself into a field you don't want to go into. I have a friend who was in a very similar situation, he felt that if he didn't become a doctor, his parents would be forever disappointed and for this reason, he kept on the pre-med track until junior year of college when he couldn't take it anymore. He ended up talking to his parents, who surprised him by saying they loved him no matter what he wanted to do with his life and they encouraged him to pursue his true passions. He finished out undergrad as an English major and is now living in Atlanta pursing his dream career in screenwriting.

No matter how desolate you feel right now, please know that it WILL get better. Direct your energy towards a career that truly inspires you and gives you a reason to wake up every morning. You're at a great place in life to find your passion and pursue it, don't listen to anyone who tells you differently.

 

[McSpicy]

Everyone has encountered some obstacle on the pre-med track unless you're some golden child prophesized to become an MD. You need to reevaluate why you decided to become a physician and you need to plan out how you can possibly salvage your medical school chances after coming up with an infallible reason for pursuing medicine as a career. Then realize that it may take more than 4 years to compose a competitive medical school application so talk to an advisor and consider a masters program for grade repair and a year off for clinical volunteering/research.

 

[hopelessdreamer95]

You ARE smart enough to excel in what truly makes you happy, and it doesn't sound like medicine is what is going to make you truly happy. SCREW what your family and friends think, deciding not to go into medicine is in no way a moral failure, but instead should be looked at as a blessing (cliche but it's true) because you don't have to waste any more time or energy trying to force yourself into a field you don't want to go into. I have a friend who was in a very similar situation, he felt that if he didn't become a doctor, his parents would be forever disappointed and for this reason, he kept on the pre-med track until junior year of college when he couldn't take it anymore. He ended up talking to his parents, who surprised him by saying they loved him no matter what he wanted to do with his life and they encouraged him to pursue his true passions. He finished out undergrad as an English major and is now living in Atlanta pursing his dream career in screenwriting.

No matter how desolate you feel right now, please know that it WILL get better. Direct your energy towards a career that truly inspires you and gives you a reason to wake up every morning. You're at a great place in life to find your passion and pursue it, don't listen to anyone who tells you differently.

See that's the thing. There aren't many things that make me happy or keep me motivated except for getting a decent grade (granted, that rarely happens nowadays so you see the problem here right ?), playing video games, drawing (you can't pay bills as an art major so I gave up pursuing that) or sleeping more than 3 hours at a time so I don't know anymore. I'm just trying to keep myself sane longer enough for me to graduate and figure out what to do afterwards because I'm pretty useless as an undergrad right now.

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[meditative_premed]

See that's the thing. There aren't many things that make me happy or keep me motivated except for getting a decent grade (granted, that rarely happens nowadays so you see the problem here right ?), playing video games, drawing (you can't pay bills as an art major so I gave up pursuing that) or sleeping more than 3 hours at a time so I don't know anymore. I'm just trying to keep myself sane longer enough for me to graduate and figure out what to do afterwards because I'm pretty useless as an undergrad right now.

Have you expressed these feelings to your family and friends? If they aren't being positive and supportive, you need to distance yourself from them until you get back up on your feet in a metaphorical sense. Reach out to people in your life who have a track record of being good for your self-esteem. It's so important to surround yourself with good people during difficult times. If you don't have anyone, please don't hesitate to PM me. What you said earlier about not having a reason to continue living scared me, and regardless of us being strangers on the internet I am more than willing to brainstorm some ideas with you.

 

[italiancowgirl]

It sounds to me like now would be an excellent time to work with a counselor and reflect with the support you need. There are many people who can give encouragement, or support, but you really need to address your feeling of hopelessness. I have gone to counseling a few times, and sometimes it wasn't very helpful and other times it was really great. Now is definitely the time for you to talk to the counselor (at your school maybe?). What you are saying are emotions that can overwhelm you, so take care of yourself by getting the support and best help around you. Don't wait!! Ask for an emergency visit to get this addressed immediately. Alternately there are emergency anonymous support lines that have great people to help you talk through these stresses in a good way. GL and please go see someone!!

 

[NotASerialKiller]

To me, my family, my confidence and self-esteem, it is and it makes me question why should I continue living if I realize I'm not smart enough to excel in my pre-conceived goals.

You're confusing intelligence with motivation. It doesn't take a genius to get into med school, it takes a lot of effort. If you can't get yourself to put in the effort then that might be a sign to pursue something else that does grant you the motivation to excel. Forget what your family wants.

 

[Midnight Schemes]

To me, my family, my confidence and self-esteem, it is and it makes me question why should I continue living if I realize I'm not smart enough to excel in my pre-conceived goals.

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You know, few things in the universe stay the same. Change is a basic principle not just in our lives but in nature as well. If mountains change their appearance over time, why can't you change your goals? People have this weird idea that things HAVE to stay the same. You are not the same person you were 4 or 5 years ago, which is completely natural. It's also natural that your goals change as well.

Some people have this rigid mindset going into to undergrad that they HAVE to follow through with what they started off with, and this is especially true in pre-meds. Honestly, the sooner you accept that things change and that it's okay that they do, the better off you'll be mentally. There's no reason to continue ****ing on yourself for not following through with a goal you made when you were 17-18. You're not worthless for changing.

/end philosophical rant

 

[Meowgical]

Along with counseling I think you should get some clinical volunteer experience and start shadowing (sooner than later). It can help you figure out if this is something you really want. How can you know for sure and stay motivated if you haven't really experienced what being a physician is all about. As a bonus, volunteering can be very uplifting.

 

[haaaaaaaaaaveyoumetted]

See that's the thing. There aren't many things that make me happy or keep me motivated except for getting a decent grade (granted, that rarely happens nowadays so you see the problem here right ?), playing video games, drawing (you can't pay bills as an art major so I gave up pursuing that) or sleeping more than 3 hours at a time so I don't know anymore. I'm just trying to keep myself sane longer enough for me to graduate and figure out what to do afterwards because I'm pretty useless as an undergrad right now.

Sent from my LG-H811 using SDN mobile

I think today you need to go into your school's counseling center, start with a short-term plan for "keeping sane" and even for motivating yourself to stop being apathetic about work and grades (mental health first though).
Then, start in on a long-term plan. Nothing is too late. Your complacency appears to be a symptom not a cause. So please just go in today and speak with someone.

 

[hopelessdreamer95]

I think today you need to go into your school's counseling center, start with a short-term plan for "keeping sane" and even for motivating yourself to stop being apathetic about work and grades (mental health first though).
Then, start in on a long-term plan. Nothing is too late. Your complacency appears to be a symptom not a cause. So please just go in today and speak with someone.

Honestly, this isn't a recent occurrence for me. I've been a depressed little f*ck for years now (since high school, just to give you some perspective) so I'm done with counseling. My inadequacies are just the results of me realizing, sooner rather than later, that I'm not going to be adept in what I want to pursue if I have a hard time grasping basic biology and chemistry. I love anatomy and physiology (shocker, I actually like something) but that doesn't mean **** if I can't correlate the two fields together. It's pretentious of me to think I can compete with people who understand science like it's nothing.

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[Turkishking]

So this my second post on this forum and all I have to say is, I'm thinking of giving up on med school or osteopathic medicine. I've been weighing in on my level of commitment towards the medical field while looking at my ****ty grades as a senior. At this point, I've become too complacent about getting C's in my transcript, which has gotten me to think I might have to be realistic. I'm following delusions of grandeur if I honestly believe I can pull off becoming a doctor when I'm already tired of being a science major in my undergrad, have little to no shadowing/volunteer experience and my apathy towards being an under-preforming student seems to take over any motivation to study or "try harder" (my level of retention has diminished over the years, so this makes studying harder nowadays). I think my ******* needs to re-evaluate her options and find a menial job after college because I don't know anymore.... Have you guys felt this way when faced with the reality that you're probably (in my case, most likely) too stupid to be accepted into med school ? Or am I just too depressed about being a failure?

You need to get some help as @Goro mentioned.

 

[Goro]

Depression is poorly managed on anonymous internet message boards. Get to a therapist, NOW.

Honestly, this isn't a recent occurrence for me. I've been a depressed little f*ck for years now (since high school, just to give you some perspective) so I'm done with counseling. My inadequacies are just the results of me realizing, sooner rather than later, that I'm not going to be adept in what I want to pursue if I have a hard time grasping basic biology and chemistry. I love anatomy and physiology (shocker, I actually like something) but that doesn't mean **** if I can't correlate the two fields together. It's pretentious of me to think I can compete with people who understand science like it's nothing.

Sent from my LG-H811 using SDN mobile

 

[Lannister]

Honestly, this isn't a recent occurrence for me. I've been a depressed little f*ck for years now (since high school, just to give you some perspective) so I'm done with counseling. My inadequacies are just the results of me realizing, sooner rather than later, that I'm not going to be adept in what I want to pursue if I have a hard time grasping basic biology and chemistry. I love anatomy and physiology (shocker, I actually like something) but that doesn't mean **** if I can't correlate the two fields together. It's pretentious of me to think I can compete with people who understand science like it's nothing.

Sent from my LG-H811 using SDN mobile

You seem very frustrated, I think you need to take a few days off to relax and cool down. Just don't think about med school for a while, because there's so much more to life. And, just so you know, you don't have to be a science genius to become a doctor. Science certainly does not come easily to me, and I still got into med school so you can, too.

 

[hopelessdreamer95]

You seem very frustrated, I think you need to take a few days off to relax and cool down. Just don't think about med school for a while, because there's so much more to life. And, just so you know, you don't have to be a science genius to become a doctor. Science certainly does not come easily to me, and I still got into med school so you can, too.

Frustrated is putting it mildly.

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[DrDre2017]

A lot of what you said really resonates with me too. I'll say:

1. The thing about being depressed for a long time is that it becomes difficult to determine when you're apathetic / depressed vs. being "realistic."
2. Depression also affects your ability to retain information. That may be why it's so hard to grasp Bio and Chem, unless you found that you were struggling before the depression got really bad and your motivation was still high.
3. You should see a counselor for the purposes of seeing a psychiatrist; if the talk therapy itself isn't working, and you are clinically depressed, medication might help.
4. Having a plan might make you feel a lot better, at least in the short-term. Having time to obsess over my problems and inadequacies is what really makes it hard for me to stay sane. You should visit your school's career counseling services, if it has them. Do some research on different career paths, or different subjects that interest you and that you could study to get a Masters or another degree.
5. What about nursing? Physician assistant? Public health? Physical therapy? These are all other careers that relate to medicine in different ways but may not require as much education or as heavy a focus on hard sciences.
6. I struggle with the idea of not meeting my own expectations too. But when you open yourself up to change, that's when things can take a really awesome turn. You could get involved in really awesome research, head policy, create innovations, work on managing the latest crises, become a leader in a capacity that you never felt possible. You may think that your goal is the epitome of perfection (for some reason, doctors embody moral and intellectual perfection for me), but what if there's really something better for you out there?
7. If you still aren't 100% sure about quitting medicine after graduation, look at whatever job you take up as strengthening your skill set, not "menial labor." I know that I might take a year or two off after undergrad to do some growing up and figure things out before I go back and apply (if I still want to at that point).

Really try to see this not as the potential for something closing off on you, but as a new path opening up. Being honest with yourself like this is only going to get you closer to understanding what you want and doing the best with the passions and skills you have. That's how I try to look at it when the uncertainty of it all gets overwhelming.

 

[meditative_premed]

Frustrated is putting it mildly.

As @Goro said, you aren't going to find a solution to feeling better by staying on a pre-med message board. Get away from the computer for a while, talk to a counselor (I know you haven't had success with them in the past but you have to keep trying until you find one that gets you), and hang out with friends who have real insight into your life and can offer relevant advice that online strangers can't.

 

[whatever5]

To me, my family, my confidence and self-esteem, it is and it makes me question why should I continue living if I realize I'm not smart enough to excel in my pre-conceived goals.

Sent from my LG-H811 using SDN mobile

Consider not getting into medical school a blessing in disguise. If the above stated are your reasons for wanting to go to medical school, it would make you MISERABLE.

Also to be blunt, you sound depressed as hell/suffering from serious senioritis. Either way, take some time off, relax, find something you like doing, and remember med school isn't going anywhere. I was very much in your position my senior year and wasn't planning on ever trying for med school, but 3 gap years later I found my way back. Maybe you will, maybe you won't, but real success is finding satisfaction in your life, NOT going to medical school.

 

[tantacles]

We've veered into some sticky territory, and while I would love to keep this thread open, I have to close it given some of the comments made by the original poster with regard to "life not being worth living." @hopelessdreamer95 , I appreciate your contribution, and like many of the other posters in this thread, I encourage you to seek support from a counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist if you continue to have trouble managing the stress of medical school applications to the point where your self-esteem and self-worth are affected.