This is not really on topic...

[monquin]

I don't have anywhere to vent, really.
So, I just need to let out some anger/sadness here...

I'm currently in an abusive relationship.
I have an almost 3 month old son.
I consider myself a single parent even though I am still living with the guy...

I currently live in one of the 15 most economically depressed counties in the nation, so I don't have a job either (I haven't had one in two years...) and I also don't have a working car.

I am so desperate to get out of my situation.
Unfortunately, due to my abusive relationship, I have a very...very...poor academic record.
I have a LOT of Ws on my transcript. :-/

I'm trying to find a university that would even consider taking me with my poor record. Despite all of the Ws, I do have some good grades mixed in there. I think I still have about a 3.4 or a 3.5 (not really sure).
I did well in high school.
I'm 24, almost 25, and feel as though I am trapped.

If I had good credit, I would just charge everything to get away from him.
I have thought about running away to a Domestic Violence shelter, but I am scared. I'm pretty much too scared to breathe at this point.
There's this one college that helps single parents out, but I just discovered that I am required to have a letter of recommendation.
I don't know anyone. I don't get to talk to anyone. So...I can't have a letter of recommendation because I have been cut off from everyone I used to know. :-/
Plus, if I were to be accepted to the college, I would have to be accepted into the single parent program anyway.

So, I guess I am just lost at what to do.
I know the obvious answer is "LEAVE!", but I don't like just getting up and doing things spur of the moment. I like to have plans.
I don't have money (barely any money, anyway), a working car, a job or credit.

Sorry to post something completely random.
But, I am just looking for a way out. I want to be a doctor so badly and this is not only ruining every other part of my life, but it's basically going to prevent me from ever being a doctor. :-/

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[Fay8]

First of all, I'm really sorry to hear about your situation. Please put you and your baby's safety above all else. If you're afraid of making a drastic step, like going to a shelter, why not AT LEAST talk with professionals at a domestic violence shelter? There are so many hotlines, just call one. They'll know what resources are available for you.. and your situation.

You don't need me to tell you that you're in a bad place. And I can't pretend to understand what you're going through, but I know you're young and have the rest of your life to pursue your goals/dreams. You feel like you're trapped now, but it's not permanent..

I sincerely hope you find help..

 

[azerkail]

I agree with above poster. The people at the shelter could not only help you out of your situation but may be able to (eventually) give you a LoR so you can get away from your situation. Those people at the shelter are there to help out. If you can't make it there, at least a phone call could help.

 

[HenriMatisse]

Get out of the relationship. I grew up with an abusive father. My mom leaving him was the best decision she ever made, not only for herself but also for her children. I realize your situation seems helpless, but you will get through it and be much better for it.

 

[shopsteward]

You don't need to make any immediate decisions, but it's a good idea to put yourself in a position to take action if you need to. So see if you can put aside enough money for a bus or train journey away from your current situation, and a taxi (or a lift from someone with a car) to that public transport if you need it. Make sure you have constant access to your important documents, keys, computer logins and passwords, etc. Keep things ready so that you would be able to pack an overnight bag for you and your child at a moment's notice.

Do you have neighbours? Try knocking on the door, saying hello. If they seem like they might be sympathetic, tell them that you are concerned about your situation and ask them to look out for you, for instance by calling the police, if at any time they think something is going badly wrong in your home.

You feel isolated at the moment. It is typical of an abuser that they wish you to feel this way. (The pychology of an abuser goes something like: "I need to be loved, I'm not worthy of being loved, that means that someone who loves me isn't worth anything, so I can abuse them because they aren't worth anything". Isolating you then prevents you from getting the perspective on the situation which might lead you to leave, which would make the abuser feel even worse because even such an unworthy person is leaving them, and so on and so on.) But just because someone wants you to be isolated, doesn't mean you have to be isolated. You are not the first person this has happened to, and you won't be the last, which means that there are organisations out there which understand your situation and can provide advice and practical help. Do a little research, and find out which organisations local to you might be able to help, and keep their phone numbers to hand. Also, I bet that if you were to reach out for help, you have family and friends who would welcome you back into their lives. They may well have no idea what you are going through, and would be willing and able to help if they did.

You don't say what form the abuse takes. If you and/or your child are at risk of physical harm, there may come a time when taking care of you and your child's immediate physical safety comes before everything else, including shelter, money and food. If this is the case, even if you are unprepared, it is best to find physical safety immediately, and to deal with the practical consequences later.

There is nothing in your current situation which makes it impossible for you to find a safe living situation and start on the road to becoming a doctor. The first step on the way to both these goals is to make connections with people who can understand your situation and help you on your way to a better one. Good luck.

 

[QofQuimica]

This thread has been reported by several members due to the statements by the OP about being in an abusive situation. SDN takes such statements seriously and we would like to remind the OP and all posters that SDN should not serve as a place to obtain counseling or other advice regarding domestic violence and other significant psychosocial issues. Anyone who is is in a situation where she and/or her children are in danger of violence should immediately seek professional counseling advice, not rely on SDN or other non-professional resources. Given the nature of the thread and the concerns expressed, I am closing this thread.