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(1) Pharmacy schools: sure there's a saturation but as long as the federal government keeps on guaranteeing those student loans, we will continue to make a killing. Don't worry students, clinical pharmacy will save us all. The government will finally reimburse us for our clinical services pretty soon! Sure, we have been saying that for the last 30 years but it will happen students. You guys will be making bank. So to accommodate for this future need for pharmacists, we are going to add another 20 seats to our lecture hall = $$$
(2) ACPE: we have to give new schools accreditation or we are going to get sued. Sure, we can raise our standards but that would mean fewer schools will apply for accreditation and therefore, less money for us
(3) NAPLEX/MPJE: hey I know we are a joke but we are making a ton of money now because pharmacists have to be licensed in multiple states due to the saturation
(4) Pre pharmacy students: all of these pharmacists are whiner! They have it so good! What? My friend who has a 2.4 GPA just got accepted to multiple pharmacy schools? All I have to do is borrow 300 k and I can one day work as a pharmacist? I don't care if I just make 70 k a year and have to pay 60 k in student loans. That's a lot better than being unemployed! I am not going to worry about student loans because I am pretty sure the government will one day forgive them. A doctorate degree baby! You will respect me. Where do I sign up??!
(5) 1st year pharmacy students: I know it's tough but hey, I am a top student with a great personality. I just have to extra work hard. That's all it takes. Harding work = success in my book! I will be one of the lucky ones. Besides, who knows what's going to happen 3 or 4 years from now?
(6) 4th year pharmacy students: OMG, I have just checked my student loan balance! 300 k with 6.8% and 7.9% interest! Where is my CVS offer!? I have been kissing butts and no offer yet!! = /
(7) Pharmacists: yeah, I have 300 k in student loans and benefits/pay have been cut but hey, what can I do? I just wanted to do part-time and never wanted pharmacy to be a career anyways. And where's that restroom key so this stupid mom can stop bothering me and I can work in peace!
(8) Residents: I am doing a residency so I will get that job everybody wants. What? I have to do 2 years of residency now or work at Kmart? Thank god there's IBR! I don't care about the compounding interest and I will end up paying more on student loans. I will do a 2 year residency! I am a unicorn! Love me
(9) CVS: pay back is a b*tch! Yeah, we had to keep some of you horrible pharmacists and pay you overtime because of the shortage. But now, we hold the cards and we know Sallie Mae will be your best friend for 30 years. No more guaranteed hours for the new grads. Just 30 hours max! No more benefits like vacation time, holiday pay, 401 k matching for the first year. You want some time off to visit grandma?! Do it on your own time! We all know you won't survive the first year anyways so what's the point? Rural America is where you will be. Take it or leave it!
(2) ACPE: we have to give new schools accreditation or we are going to get sued. Sure, we can raise our standards but that would mean fewer schools will apply for accreditation and therefore, less money for us
(3) NAPLEX/MPJE: hey I know we are a joke but we are making a ton of money now because pharmacists have to be licensed in multiple states due to the saturation
(4) Pre pharmacy students: all of these pharmacists are whiner! They have it so good! What? My friend who has a 2.4 GPA just got accepted to multiple pharmacy schools? All I have to do is borrow 300 k and I can one day work as a pharmacist? I don't care if I just make 70 k a year and have to pay 60 k in student loans. That's a lot better than being unemployed! I am not going to worry about student loans because I am pretty sure the government will one day forgive them. A doctorate degree baby! You will respect me. Where do I sign up??!
(5) 1st year pharmacy students: I know it's tough but hey, I am a top student with a great personality. I just have to extra work hard. That's all it takes. Harding work = success in my book! I will be one of the lucky ones. Besides, who knows what's going to happen 3 or 4 years from now?
(6) 4th year pharmacy students: OMG, I have just checked my student loan balance! 300 k with 6.8% and 7.9% interest! Where is my CVS offer!? I have been kissing butts and no offer yet!! = /
(7) Pharmacists: yeah, I have 300 k in student loans and benefits/pay have been cut but hey, what can I do? I just wanted to do part-time and never wanted pharmacy to be a career anyways. And where's that restroom key so this stupid mom can stop bothering me and I can work in peace!
(8) Residents: I am doing a residency so I will get that job everybody wants. What? I have to do 2 years of residency now or work at Kmart? Thank god there's IBR! I don't care about the compounding interest and I will end up paying more on student loans. I will do a 2 year residency! I am a unicorn! Love me
(9) CVS: pay back is a b*tch! Yeah, we had to keep some of you horrible pharmacists and pay you overtime because of the shortage. But now, we hold the cards and we know Sallie Mae will be your best friend for 30 years. No more guaranteed hours for the new grads. Just 30 hours max! No more benefits like vacation time, holiday pay, 401 k matching for the first year. You want some time off to visit grandma?! Do it on your own time! We all know you won't survive the first year anyways so what's the point? Rural America is where you will be. Take it or leave it!


