too selfish to be in relationship in dschool

[Stephie3]

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so i realized this about myself today.

lots of ppl in my family have lost their jobs due to the economy, so it freaks me out and makes me want to study more and more because i see how serious this is.

when i was talking on the phone tonight to a guy (whom i like) i just feel like its draining on me over time. even though he's super nice and i have no problems with him. i feel like whenever i'm in a relationship, i'm not focused on school and i don't study as much. which i mean you can get away with that in undergrad, but it scares me to think about doing the same thing in dental school, because i realize you probably can't spend 4 hours a night talking on the phone in dschool.

something in me feels bad though..like i should be trying to have a relationship while in school. and like i should have more friends and stuff. it is just like impossible for me. sometimes i just want to lock myself in a room and study. i think its my loner personality kicking in.

 

[Stephie3]

potential break ups in dschool scare me too, because i'm not going to have like the same amount of time as i did in undergrad to recover emotionally.

 

[Stephie3]

p.s. if you are a really cute and really smart guy and going to the same dschool as me next year, just disregard this. maybe we could find a way to work something out 😉

 

[Daydream46]

I'm married, and I may be in the minority... but my relationship helps me through school. I have a rock to lean on, and a lot of support.

I agree that the beginning of a relationship is draining... I'm happy to be past that. 🙂

 

[austinsanity]

As a guy who went through the relationship ordeal in undergrad, I don't know exactly what to think about the prospect of attempting it again in dental school. My grades did take a slight hit, but I believe I could have prevented that if I had managed my time more efficiently.

I want to say the hell with the idea and dedicate myself entirely to my studies, but who can honestly make themselves such a promise?

If you can kick your time management skills into high gear, I'd say it's certainly doable. Personally though, I'd prefer to wait until the diploma is in my hand.

 

[Jake8]

Let someone be a part of your life, but not your whole life. The second you put your relationship as a priority in front of your personal well-being and success then you are harming yourself. I make it clear from the get go of a relationship that school is more important, take it or leave it. This has saved me many times in undergrad and I plan to keep it up in D-school. If she isn't willing to work with you on that aspect then she is only going to bring you down.

 

[NyCzPeter]

so i realized this about myself today.

lots of ppl in my family have lost their jobs due to the economy, so it freaks me out and makes me want to study more and more because i see how serious this is.

when i was talking on the phone tonight to a guy (whom i like) i just feel like its draining on me over time. even though he's super nice and i have no problems with him. i feel like whenever i'm in a relationship, i'm not focused on school and i don't study as much. which i mean you can get away with that in undergrad, but it scares me to think about doing the same thing in dental school, because i realize you probably can't spend 4 hours a night talking on the phone in dschool.

something in me feels bad though..like i should be trying to have a relationship while in school. and like i should have more friends and stuff. it is just like impossible for me. sometimes i just want to lock myself in a room and study. i think its my loner personality kicking in.

You know what? Unless you're going to specialize, your dental school grades don't matter any more than your kindergarden grades. besides, you have to be a complete idiot, dumb lazy or maybe cheat in dental school to be dismissed. So don't worry too much about it since you'll get a pretty good picture of your chances at specializing after D1.

 

[btk2333]

I'm going to be married going into dental school and I wouldn't want to do it any other way. She's going to grad school as well so we will have to support each other through, but I have no doubt our relationship will make our experiences better.

 

[cookand]

I'm married, and I may be in the minority... but my relationship helps me through school. I have a rock to lean on, and a lot of support.

I agree that the beginning of a relationship is draining... I'm happy to be past that. 🙂

I'm married, have a 2 year old daughter and I'm a D1. Can't imagine not having that support and escape. I know that sounds counterintuitive, but I'm serious. There are more things to life than dental school and to completely avoid life outside DS is unhealthy. Just my humble opinion.

 

[nydds25]

p.s. if you are a really cute and really smart guy and going to the same dschool as me next year, just disregard this. maybe we could find a way to work something out 😉

what school are you going to and are you hot?

 

[klpennin]

I'm married, have a 2 year old daughter and I'm a D1. Can't imagine not having that support and escape. I know that sounds counterintuitive, but I'm serious. There are more things to life than dental school and to completely avoid life outside DS is unhealthy. Just my humble opinion.

👍

 

[cybermech]

p.s. if you are a really cute and really smart guy and going to the same dschool as me next year, just disregard this. maybe we could find a way to work something out 😉

Hahaha! ROFL! This is hilarious!

But in all seriousness, I'm really just hoping that I can find a girl who's just as busy as I am, and won't really care whether or not we do the 2-hour chats, etc.

 

[eternalxdemon]

Hahaha! ROFL! This is hilarious!

But in all seriousness, I'm really just hoping that I can find a girl who's just as busy as I am, and won't really care whether or not we do the 2-hour chats, etc.

and that is the only reason why i would put myself in a long distance relationship with a guy. he's as busy as me... so we won't really have time to talk... we'll just have to make best with the time we do have... and i think that makes it all the more special... and plus... he would be able to understand the things i'm going thru...

 

[JamesOSU]

People on this forum need to stop trying to micromanage the future... what happens happens you roll with it. Who goes into D-school thinking 'I'm going to get into a relationship somewhere between my 1st and 2nd semesters, then do this, that, blah blah blah'

Stop worrying about it. If its meant to be it'll happen, maybe you just haven't met the person who is worth you having to make it work with yet. Till then just have fun, take a deep breath, and LIVE.

Carpe Diem.

 

[austinsanity]

I'm married, have a 2 year old daughter and I'm a D1. Can't imagine not having that support and escape. I know that sounds counterintuitive, but I'm serious. There are more things to life than dental school and to completely avoid life outside DS is unhealthy. Just my humble opinion.

There's a 40 year-old first-year student at Midwestern who has six (yeah, 6) kids. He's doing all right and seems to love his life.

 

[Simiam]

People on this forum need to stop trying to micromanage the future... what happens happens you roll with it. Who goes into D-school thinking 'I'm going to get into a relationship somewhere between my 1st and 2nd semesters, then do this, that, blah blah blah'

Stop worrying about it. If its meant to be it'll happen, maybe you just haven't met the person who is worth you having to make it work with yet. Till then just have fun, take a deep breath, and LIVE.

Carpe Diem.

Best thing said in this whole thread.

Don't stress out, let your life play itself out. Stuff like this cannot be planned.

You don't want to look back after dental school and think about what could have been.

 

[malpractician]

Stephie you're not alone. While my girlfriend and I love each other, I don't have much of a relationship with her 5 y/o daughter. We talked it out one night at a cafe, but since then our communication has become less frequent.

It feels like one of those inevitable things we want to work, but outside factors are saying otherwise.

 

[cybermech]

and that is the only reason why i would put myself in a long distance relationship with a guy. he's as busy as me... so we won't really have time to talk... we'll just have to make best with the time we do have... and i think that makes it all the more special... and plus... he would be able to understand the things i'm going thru...

Ohhhh, long distance is really rough... I've done it 3x, and I'm sick and tired of the whole ordeal. Even if both people in a relationship are insanely busy, meeting up once in a while for coffee or other things is absolutely essential to maintaining the feeling of closeness, ya know?

 

[eternalxdemon]

Ohhhh, long distance is really rough... I've done it 3x, and I'm sick and tired of the whole ordeal. Even if both people in a relationship are insanely busy, meeting up once in a while for coffee or other things is absolutely essential to maintaining the feeling of closeness, ya know?

that i do... but at the same time tho... i think it makes u value the time u actually do have with each other... it's a coin toss... really just depends on who's in the relationship and their personalities...

 

[JamesOSU]

Ohhhh, long distance is really rough... I've done it 3x, and I'm sick and tired of the whole ordeal. Even if both people in a relationship are insanely busy, meeting up once in a while for coffee or other things is absolutely essential to maintaining the feeling of closeness, ya know?

my fiance is Australian, as in, lives there (for now). Been dating 3 1/2 years (since I was 19) and getting married Sept 2010 (between D1-D2). Long distance is tough, but doable if you know you need to make it work to fully enjoy your life.

But damn those flights are expensive! They have great beer though

 

[TeethandGums]

p.s. if you are a really cute and really smart guy and going to the same dschool as me next year, just disregard this. maybe we could find a way to work something out 😉

....nice recovery!

 

[sloken]

you probably can't spend 4 hours a night talking on the phone in dschool.

Even if I wasn't in dental school, I would never spend that much time talking on the phone. Ya, at the start of a relationship you wanna talk/be around them as much as possible, but 4 hours?? Ha, invite him over and talk for an hour and have fun instead, and then be asleep in 2 hours and gain some extra z's that you'll need for the next day 😀

 

[AlwaysImproving]

I don't want to be in a relationship in d-school, I want to focus on studying bec/ I was always in relationships throughout undergrad and I did not really have time for anything else. I know it comes down to time management but until I have that figured out, I will stick to this plan. I don't think it means we are too selfish, I just want to do well in school 😀
Though I said the same thing before starting college

 

[chund]

.

 

[JamesOSU]

I don't want to be in a relationship in d-school, I want to focus on studying bec/ I was always in relationships throughout undergrad and I did not really have time for anything else. I know it comes down to time management but until I have that figured out, I will stick to this plan. I don't think it means we are too selfish, I just want to do well in school 😀
Though I said the same thing before starting college

What else is there? Can you clarify 😕 Life is relationships, plain and simple

 

[Daydream46]

If you guys have this much of a hard time with someone of the opposite sex, you should rethink your sexuality. Relationships are only tough when things are bad. And if you can't deal with someone enough that it effects your studies, how do you think it will be in real life. Dump them.

Thats right, if you've had bad relationships... you should totally just reevaluate your sexuality, that seems like the most logical option here 🙄

 

[sddat]

Don't plan out your future relationships. If you find someone you love, I highly doubt you will turn them down because you are too busy. If it's not working because your too busy, maybe it won't work period. You never know what may happen, stop rationalizing everything. Maybe we don't know everything.

 

[DrDDSman]

relationship advice on SDN? really??

But in all seriousness..a relationship is something that can be valuable in DS, a person there for you as support. Even though its an intense 4 years, its nice to have someone there for you once in a while to help relax and stuff. Just let it happen...

 

[Rubber Dam Man]

relationship advice on SDN? really??

But in all seriousness..a relationship is something that can be valuable in DS, a person there for you as support. Even though its an intense 4 years, its nice to have someone there for you once in a while to help relax and stuff. Just let it happen...

well put.

I think it comes down to type of person your partner is - mine has been nothing but supportive of me through this arduous journey to dental school. She is well aware of the time committment and the seriousness of dental school. She knows how important this dream is to me and will be there for me anytime I need her. I mean seriously, what girl who has absolutely no interest in dentistry, will get on SDN just to see what is going on with acceptances? I am just fortunate. Although if I might add, it is rather amusing to be talking relationship stuff here on SDN, but it is a part of the reality that many people in dental school will have to face.

 

[y0ssarian]

I don't think anyone here is really arguing that relationships are a bad thing in dental school when they're going well. It's the fallout of a failed relationship that I think is the biggest concern, and relationships fall into disrepair more easily when time is short.

I also share Stephie3's concern about recovering emotionally while taking classes 8-5 everyday >_>

 

[eternalxdemon]

I don't think anyone here is really arguing that relationships are a bad thing in dental school when they're going well. It's the fallout of a failed relationship that I think is the biggest concern, and relationships fall into disrepair more easily when time is short.

I also share Stephie3's concern about recovering emotionally while taking classes 8-5 everyday >_>

you're numb from school. let school distract you til you forget... you force yourself to focus.

 

[y0ssarian]

you're numb from school. let school distract you til you forget... you force yourself to focus.

Paying attention in classes I was interested in wasn't really a problem, but I didn't absorb anything from the boring classes for a while. Can you really block out all the other stuff when you're studying?

 

[UFC Gladiator]

p.s. if you are a really cute and really smart guy and going to the same dschool as me next year, just disregard this. maybe we could find a way to work something out 😉

We could definitely work something out.

Seriously though, when the right person comes along, life has a funny way of making things work😉

 

[Plopper]

p.s. if you are a really cute and really smart guy and going to the same dschool as me next year, just disregard this. maybe we could find a way to work something out 😉

your grades won't suffer if you find someone who is as dedicated to studying as you are...plus if they're like me they're one of the best looking guys ever! haha

well that's my plan, find a study buddy

 

[btizzels]

your grades won't suffer if you find someone who is as dedicated to studying as you are...

You will find that Dental school is all about Balance. You can't just study all the time, you will go insane! If the right someone comes around you should go for it. If they are cool then they will be understanding of your need to study. And as was stated before, just live life, don't try to plan everything out.

 

[Heretotalk]

Well, I decided to drag my girlfriend with me and buying a house so she can't get away. Hows that for relationship management! 😛






p.s shes already in pharmacy school, all I am doing is just following her.

 

[SWIMnPOLO]

Wierd, my grades have gotten better since I got a gf.

I actually like being busy...school, athletics, girlfriend... having only one thing (studying) sounds like it'd get depressing. But I guess the throughbred lab-rats would be cool with it.

Bottomline, getting good grades and becoming a dentist isn't what's gonna make you happy... having someone to share it with ---- will.

What's the line from that song? "Til you put a girl in it, you ain't got nothin..." hahaha. Country fans know what I'm talking about 🙂

 

[eldirty]

People on this forum need to stop trying to micromanage the future... what happens happens you roll with it. Who goes into D-school thinking 'I'm going to get into a relationship somewhere between my 1st and 2nd semesters, then do this, that, blah blah blah'

Stop worrying about it. If its meant to be it'll happen, maybe you just haven't met the person who is worth you having to make it work with yet. Till then just have fun, take a deep breath, and LIVE.

Carpe Diem.

Life is relationships, plain and simple

James ... youre like a relationship philosopher/Dr. Phil/my hero

 

[bigstix808]

People on this forum need to stop trying to micromanage the future... what happens happens you roll with it. Who goes into D-school thinking 'I'm going to get into a relationship somewhere between my 1st and 2nd semesters, then do this, that, blah blah blah'

Stop worrying about it. If its meant to be it'll happen, maybe you just haven't met the person who is worth you having to make it work with yet. Till then just have fun, take a deep breath, and LIVE.

Carpe Diem <<--- best advice so far

prob easier said than done...

...seeing how most of the people on here are of the type A variety 😀

life is what happens when you stop making plans

 

[Frederico Albin]

p.s. if you are a really cute and really smart guy and going to the same dschool as me next year, just disregard this. maybe we could find a way to work something out 😉

Pictures please 🙂

 

[JamesOSU]

You're making me narcissistic with all this 'good advice' stuff! Just ripped it from a movie -anyone know the flick?

Think I'll add carpe diem to my sig, lol

 

[Contach]

what school are you going to and are you hot?

you ask this a lot.

 

[austinsanity]

I take back any so-called advice I posted earlier. Screw the advice.

To each his [or her] own.

 

[eternalxdemon]

Paying attention in classes I was interested in wasn't really a problem, but I didn't absorb anything from the boring classes for a while. Can you really block out all the other stuff when you're studying?

trying makes me feel better even tho i don't really "absorb" stuff... but aye... when things get like that i go out n buy stuff... buying pretty things i've wanted for awhile make me a lil bit happier... for example my ex gave me back the 2K he borrowed from me and then broke up with me... i went out n spent it all... i kinda regret not saving it right now... but i was happy with wat i spent the money on... (dland annual passport, new piercings... food... clothes.. laptop for a friend). haha... focusing does distract me tho... but once it's done... i get all bummed out again...

You're making me narcissistic with all this 'good advice' stuff! Just ripped it from a movie -anyone know the flick?

Think I'll add carpe diem to my sig, lol

you should. 🙂

 

[SMCohen]

You will find that Dental school is all about Balance. You can't just study all the time, you will go insane! If the right someone comes around you should go for it. If they are cool then they will be understanding of your need to study. And as was stated before, just live life, don't try to plan everything out.

Btizz... putting your 2 cents in at 2am? Didn't you have a cariology exam to study for? 😉

 

[dr bojangles]

i realize you probably can't spend 4 hours a night talking on the phone in dschool.

i probably can't talk on the phone for 4 hours with ANYONE, regardless of being in d-school. my gf and i can tolerate half an hour or so, and it works fine for us (coming up on 6 years). she's in law school in NJ, and i'll be in d-school, perhaps in FL. we're gonna try long distance, but if it doesn't work, we both understand and have talked about it. so let's see what happens. as said in above posts, JUST LIVE!

 

[Lulu2809]

doesn't talking on the phone that much give you brain cancer or something? 😛

 

[Svart Aske]

Relationships are for those who can't afford a RealDoll

 

[zorie]

Relationships are for those who can't afford a RealDoll

Those things are so creepy.

 

[btizzels]

Btizz... putting your 2 cents in at 2am? Didn't you have a cariology exam to study for? 😉

Haha, yeah cariology rocked me today. Probably wouldn't have helped to study more then i did though. I didn't know you still looked around here. Yeah i jump on here once in a while to procrastinate.