toofscum=brother bloat?

Started by gwb
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gwb

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has anyone else noticed that toofscum's post sound a LOT like brother bloat's? i've been following her posts on SDN and at first i felt sympathetic to her plight as a lonely newlywed in a new city, confused with her direction in life, ignored by her studious husband, paralyzed by doubts of motherhood and career demands, but...

she says she wants a high-powered career but then states she hates being busy and can't deal with stress or lack of sleep (then you will HATE medicine). she thinks that an acceptance to med school is the ticket to improved self-esteem, when it sounds like she has numerous accomplishments to be proud of already (if you're not happy with yourself as you are now, no letter of acceptance will change that- you'll just find something else to be insecure about). she says she feels lonely and wants more quality time with her husband who's always studying? tell him to STOP reading and spend time with you - my husband and i are both surgical residents and we PRIORITIZE our relationship, even if that means putting the books away once in a while (heck, the minute we're out of the hospital, we're OUT).

i know all this has been said already, and i really do sympathize with the poster. it just gets frustrating when someone who is articulate and seemingly intelligent can also lack such self-awareness. toofscum/brother bloat, you seem like a smart girl, but you need a reality check. why drive yourself down the road of medicine when you admit that you don't like being "crazy busy"? do you really want a "high-powered" career or do you just want the thrill of saying "i'm a doctor" when people ask what you do? i think at the root of all your posts and concerns is your inherent belief that career and self-esteem are intertwined. maybe it's time to grow up a little and realize there's nothing further than the truth, regardless of what your parents/family/society might say (btw, your parents wouldn't happen to be overbearing asian parents, now would they!!!). once you can tell the world to s***w itself and find what really makes you tick, i think you'll be a lot happier. and i certainly don't think it will be in medicine.
 
Posts do sound similar but I'd hate to speculate.

I find what you are suggesting happens often where a member leaves for whatever reason then after reconsideration, feels uncomfortable to re-post under original username so they change it. (as I'm sure you're aware 😛 )

I've 'outed' a few people from the other site I frequent.

Just don't know for sure here and not positive I really care. 😉

Katee

PS: Very insightful post btw. It brought some very good points to light.

I hope your thoughts help out the OPs 😀
 
The fact that anyone has even bothered to spend so much time on this topic is beyond me. I'm toofscum, and I just learned about this site a few months ago, don't know how long brother bloat's been on here but I am me and me only. I've read some of bloat's posts and if I remember correctly that she is an artist--or was--and I am a lawyer.

There are many people out there in the situation you describe above--i.e. feeling very lonely when your resident spouse is on call Q4 or more frequently. I, for one, still haven't really figured out what to do with myself when my hubby is on call. Making friends is really, really hard in a brand new city. I struggle with this a lot. And it sure doesn't help to be criticized on what's supposed to be a helpful, supportive board. For now, I read tons--I try to finish a book a week at least. I also try to get into some hobbies, but at the end of the day I still feel very much alone without much of a support network of any sort around.

I don't know who you're criticizing--brother bloat or me, but it's not very nice.
 
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I really don't think the OP of this thread intended to come off as sounding mean. It's just your posts are really similar. REALLY similar. It's almost uncanny how similar. It's mostly the small sentences..the way the post sounds/comments/concerns and the writing too. Small facts are the same.You both don't believe in Oral birth control and only use condoms. Yes perhaps she was an artist but when it comes right down to it, if one was to go so far as to get a new username..what's to stop them from presenting themselves a little differently so as not be recognized? Logical thing to do don't you think?

I get the feeling from your posts that you may be a little depressed. Things you once found fulfilling no longer are. Even the fact that you wander aimlessly through cofee shops is worrisome. The fact that you can't seem to find a purpose to your day without your SO around rings some bells too.

Is there somone you can talk to? Can you make an appointment to see someone?

You can't expect to find solutions to all your problems here on a board. As helpful and supportive as it is.....it can't beat one on one help.

All the advice or comments you get here are not all going to be in your favor or exactly what you want to hear either. You put yourself out there...expect to be criticized once in a while. (bortherbloat c/o the same thing and I told her the same thing :laugh: )

Can you talk to your SO? Do you ever express your feelings to him? Curious to hear your response.


I'm only a student (mature) at the moment but I've encountered many people like yourself. Get some help and I mean it in the most supportive way possible.

Good luck.

Katee

PS: I read a lot too. Currently reading Martina Cole. ALL of them. :laugh:I like Bagshawe and Lesley Pearse. Kinda neat you like to read as much as I do. I don't read during the school year because I have no time but when summer rolls around...look out. 😛 Feel free to PM me anytime you fee llike chatting.
 
hi there,

sorry if you thought i was being mean or overly critical- i certainly wasn't trying to do so. i was trying to be helpful and honest, but i know that can sometimes come off as harsh. have you considered, though, that when multiple people say similar things, we're not necessarily trying to be mean- we're just coming to the same conclusions about the problems you post. many people have tried to give you helpful suggestions; instead of viewing this as criticism, try and accept it as constructive advice, even if it's not what you necessarily wanted to hear (especially if it's not what you wanted to hear!).

i sincerely don't intend to be mean when i say that i don't think medicine is for you- it's just my honest opinion based on your numerous posts. medicine can be very stressful, tiring, and unpredictable; there are some mean folks who will be EXTREMELY critical just to be mean, so you must be prepared to handle that. when i said before that you have numerous accomplishments to be proud of, i did mean that. adding an MD to your credentials does NOT make you a better or worse person than you already are.

good luck.
ps- katee, thanks for your replies. good luck with your studies!
 
They are totally the same person. The new name doesn't fool me.
 
Hmmmm..I thought I'd come back to see if Toofscum responded to my post but I see she did not. I thought my post was pretty nice and warrented a 'hey'. 😎

(bored today..can you tell?)

Katee 🙂
 
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