Well that is just ridiculous. I honestly believe that telling your #1 or #2 program that they are ranked "very highly" is not a dealbreaker, and it's definitely okay if you're not 100% sure that you won't change your mind later. In reality, these PDs can't really read anything into that statement, unless they are avid SDN users (which they aren't) and strictly follow this "code," which is not universally acknowledged or known as some of you may think. I guess the alternative is saying nothing, which is fine too. But personally, I would feel safer just letting them know you are very interested -- with or without saying how highly they are ranked -- than saying nothing at all. Saying "highly" or "very highly" may not bump your rank up, but what kind of PD would read that much into it and actually be offended? Do you really want to go to a program like that? How do they know you know the code? They don't! Some people don't even tell their number one programs as much. This is just silly.