What a cesspool...
Let's get this over with. May your excremental replies be penance for my transgressions in the vulgarity of human nature into which you so deeply delve. Including having followed you down here.
You see my provocation as blind hatred against ideals to which you've become enamored. You're learning that fulfillment is a difficult goal, often blocked by others in their own attempts at achieving the same. You've realized the necessity of protecting yourself and your ideals, and the difficulty of doing so.
Perhaps you understand that you've become the exact person that stood between you and happiness. In doing, perhaps you've noticed the duality of human nature. Understanding that you will always be hated, even by yourself, and choosing to embrace it in order to find peace.
Maybe, you understand that peace is therefore unobtainable. That, perhaps, truth only exists in the act of competing, itself. You may feel that survival of the fittest is the most supreme truth, and you're trying to stay fit. That you're merely embracing all it means to be human, including its inherent negativity.
I think you understand that given two people in an enclosed space, competition is inevitable and one will emerge the "winner". Lacking any competitor, the survivor then faces a question:
-continue to embrace truth, turning on himself in the process
-denounce the entire process as futile, helping to clean up the bodies of everyone doing the same thing
-search for competition amongst his progeny, disregarding morality
It's a core dilemma in the quest to define one's existence, something with which we all struggle. Maybe you noticed it following your exposure to death in medical school. I noticed it after taking a few dozen lives.
My provocation of you was indeed strange, as you said. I hope to remind you that you are starting to turn on yourself. You appreciate the sanctity of marriage, yet you called another man's wife a ***** (in order to make a friend, no less).
I once upheld the very ideals which you hold dear. Women, Muslims, homosexuals, racial IQ differences, and on and on. I've been there. I've used the exact arguments you have, and have heard even better. I took lives in their defense, something which can never be undone. No accolade exists which can replace the guilt and anguish that ensues from it. I hope to serve as a warning, so that you do not meet my same fate.
So, there you are. I've given you the tools with which to dispose of me. I've shared one of my most personal tenants, with which you could utterly destroy me. How will you use it?
There is a specie of shark that cannibalizes his twins in the womb, for lack of room. I used to admire it for its lack of emotion, and eventually became it. Though I occasionally relapse, I'd rather be eaten than be a puppet for biology that pits us against ourselves. Mending lives, instead of breaking them (something you're on the precipice of). Now, make your own choice, and say what you will.
