Two general residency questions

[UCIBound]

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#1 - How much money does... 😉 No, what I was wondering was whether it's appropriate to bring a significant other to those "optional" dinners the nights before interviews. People and location mean almost as much to her as it does to me so she'd like to go, which I understand, so I was just curious if that was common.

#2 - I got excited and told a program they were my top choice (which they are) during an interview. They chuckled and thanked me for my "honesty". Did I make a faux pas or is that ok as long as you're being honest? Thanks in advance for any input.

 

[NotAProgDirector]

#1 - How much money does... 😉 No, what I was wondering was whether it's appropriate to bring a significant other to those "optional" dinners the nights before interviews. People and location mean almost as much to her as it does to me so she'd like to go, which I understand, so I was just curious if that was common.

#2 - I got excited and told a program they were my top choice (which they are) during an interview. They chuckled and thanked me for my "honesty". Did I make a faux pas or is that ok as long as you're being honest? Thanks in advance for any input.

#1 - Most programs encourage this. I presume there are some that do not. If it's not clear in your invitation, I'd ask the program administrator.

#2 - It's totally fine, but we've become somewhat jaded. I can't tell you how many times someone has told me that I'm their first choice, and then they match elsewhere.

 

[Winged Scapula]

Some programs encourage SOs to come for the dinners, others do not, as aPD noted.

I might venture that your wife might get more out of the trip by investigating the area rather than going to the dinner with you. It frees you up to focus on the residency and potential co-workers (without worrying whether or not she's enjoying herself) and allows her to find out things about the area which might be of interest to both of you. While many programs do socialize together, the fact is that these will be YOUR co-workers and she will have little to do with them, so its more important that you get to know them and the "feel" of the program, IMHO.

This has been discussed in other threads and it seems opinions go both ways, from "spouses never" to" I wouldn't consider going without him/her."

 

[UCIBound]

#1 - Most programs encourage this. I presume there are some that do not. If it's not clear in your invitation, I'd ask the program administrator.

#2 - It's totally fine, but we've become somewhat jaded. I can't tell you how many times someone has told me that I'm their first choice, and then they match elsewhere.

Thanks for the quick response, pretty much covers what I needed to know perfectly.

Just to expand on #2 - I couldn't help it. They hit me with, "Seriously, you want to come here?", "You know rank order matters...", "Draw a map of all the other places you've scheduled interviews."

Alright, I made the last one up.

 

[UCIBound]

This has been discussed in other threads and it seems opinions go both ways, from "spouses never" to" I wouldn't consider going without him/her."

Ah, sorry. Tried to do a search for similar threads but didn't find much.

Thanks for the information as well. Sounds like the best thing to do is play it by program.

 

[Winged Scapula]

Ah, sorry. Tried to do a search for similar threads but didn't find much.

Thanks for the information as well. Sounds like the best thing to do is play it by program.

I can't remember which forum it was in, and was too lazy to find the thread. It might have been in one of the subspecialty forums.

But yes, asking the programs is probably the best way to go.

 

[HCE]

Noticed Lee's footer to your email "Lee A. Burnett: Bit-o-trivia -- when they were writing the pilot for Scrubs, the writers posted on SDN looking for funny stories. There's the belief that "Dr. Cox" is named after our own "Dr. Kimberli Cox".'...just how cool is that?

Some programs encourage SOs to come for the dinners, others do not, as aPD noted.

I might venture that your wife might get more out of the trip by investigating the area rather than going to the dinner with you. It frees you up to focus on the residency and potential co-workers (without worrying whether or not she's enjoying herself) and allows her to find out things about the area which might be of interest to both of you. While many programs do socialize together, the fact is that these will be YOUR co-workers and she will have little to do with them, so its more important that you get to know them and the "feel" of the program, IMHO.

This has been discussed in other threads and it seems opinions go both ways, from "spouses never" to" I wouldn't consider going without him/her."

 

[yaah]

Just to expand on #2 - I couldn't help it. They hit me with, "Seriously, you want to come here?", "You know rank order matters...", "Draw a map of all the other places you've scheduled interviews."

They aren't really allowed to "push" you. You can offer information about your feelings on the program, just like they can tell you if they want that you are ranked to match there. But they can't make deals with you (rank us high and we'll rank you high, etc). I think they can ask you about your opinions on other programs but most don't. They may ask you where else you are interviewing as they are curious.

 

[MacGyver]

#2 - It's totally fine, but we've become somewhat jaded. I can't tell you how many times someone has told me that I'm their first choice, and then they match elsewhere.

I'm assuming you ranked them #1, because otherwise you cant necessarily hold it against them if they didnt match there.

 

[Faebinder]

My experience... Don't bring your significant other to dinner. Just don't do it.

The dinner the night before was pretty much a mini informal interview. At best your significant other will strike an interesting conversation. At worse they will look bored. (Assuming you got your SO on a leash).

It's really hard to kiss ass when your SO is there and when everyone describes their experience in doing X rotation or Y interviews, the SO usually sits there and looks miserable.

 

[NotAProgDirector]

I'm assuming you ranked them #1, because otherwise you cant necessarily hold it against them if they didnt match there.

My bad. Should have been worded "...and then they match elsewhere and were ranked above my final match."

 

[Winged Scapula]

Noticed Lee's footer to your email "Lee A. Burnett: Bit-o-trivia -- when they were writing the pilot for Scrubs, the writers posted on SDN looking for funny stories. There's the belief that "Dr. Cox" is named after our own "Dr. Kimberli Cox".'...just how cool is that?

I think they amped up my natural snarkiness for ratings, though.

I wanna know where my residuals are.

 

[buckley]

draw a map of the places you've interviewed at....

well, i wasn't asked to draw but i was asked to name. this happened to me alot, i didn't really have anything to hide so I gave it out. What made me feel uneasy in one particular interview was that the PD wrote down every single program I mentioned! He even read them aloud and ran a check with me that he got everything down. That felt really weird, and I wonder if I should be guarded next time? what's he gonna do, talk to the other PDs? weeeeeeeeeiiiird! well, at least for me...is this weirding out anyone else?

 

[Winged Scapula]

draw a map of the places you've interviewed at....

well, i wasn't asked to draw but i was asked to name. this happened to me alot, i didn't really have anything to hide so I gave it out. What made me feel uneasy in one particular interview was that the PD wrote down every single program I mentioned! He even read them aloud and ran a check with me that he got everything down. That felt really weird, and I wonder if I should be guarded next time? what's he gonna do, talk to the other PDs? weeeeeeeeeiiiird! well, at least for me...is this weirding out anyone else?

APD can comment more but many times asking about what other programs you've applied to is a way to assess how interested you are in the program you are interviewing at.

For example, if you are interviewing at Joe Blow local community program and everywhere else you're interviewing at is Top Notch academic program, the PD at the former may reasonably believe you aren't really interested in his program. When I interviewed people for my small town program in Pennsylvania, I was interested if the only other places they were going were big city programs and they were from a big city and had a spouse who needed to work in a big city.

Its unlikely they will contact other PDs where you are interviewing unless they know them and are interested in how they will be ranking you...but I doubt this is widespread behavior.

 

[NotAProgDirector]

APD can comment more but many times asking about what other programs you've applied to is a way to assess how interested you are in the program you are interviewing at.

Asking where you've interviewed is illegal. It has nothing to do with your application to my program. PD's really shouldn't ask.

Those that do are probably not being evil, but as Kimberli notes are trying to get a sense of how competitive you are (or how selective their competition is). Don't read too much into this.

 

[Winged Scapula]

Asking where you've interviewed is illegal. It has nothing to do with your application to my program. PD's really shouldn't ask.

Interesting...didn't realize it was against match rules. I don't recall ever asking anyone where specifically they were interviewing (worried that someone might be embarassed because they don't have any other interviews) but rather trying to get a sense of what region...especially if we had a candidate from say Texas, and they were coming to PA for an interview. Is it a violation to ask what area of the country are they focusing on?

Those that do are probably not being evil, but as Kimberli notes are trying to get a sense of how competitive you are (or how selective their competition is). Don't read too much into this.

Yes, that is the point I was trying to get across; no evil intent but rather just assessing where you stand and where they stand in the match process.

 

[Blade28]

Asking where you've interviewed is illegal. It has nothing to do with your application to my program. PD's really shouldn't ask.

Really? I got asked this all the time.

 

[AlternateSome1]

I've been asked where else I am interviewing at every program I have been to thus far, sometimes multiple times (with the various interviewers). A couple have even asked for my algorithm of determining where I would apply. The question has always come across as a curiosity/getting to understand you type thing and not as sinister.

 

[buckley]

It never came across as sinister to me before...but seeing that PD write them down and double check with me really freaked me out. I dont know who told me but I knew before hand that it is illegal for them to ask where else I am interviewing at, but like I said, I just give it out anyway. Same as the single/married/with kids question. I was even asked about my religion. So there. I chose to answer just because I felt it would be more awkward if I didn't. If I didn't kow these questions were illegal, I probably would be less freaked out.

I will try not to read too much on this...but you know the life of a residecy applicant, you try to hold on to any "sign" you can about where you may end up going..teheeheee...thanks for the replies!

 

[zinjanthropus]

#1 - How much money does... 😉 No, what I was wondering was whether it's appropriate to bring a significant other to those "optional" dinners the nights before interviews. People and location mean almost as much to her as it does to me so she'd like to go, which I understand, so I was just curious if that was common.

So here is how I think about the "dinnerview" --

1. my wife has full veto power
2. my wife doesn't want to go to the dinners
3. my wife wouldn't want me in a program that didn't emphasize outside time/family time, etc

given 1-3, we look to see if the program specifically invites the SO in the info for the social/dinner...if there is no mention about bringing the SO, we assume (whether right or wrong, who knows) that the program is less welcoming of the SO...

so, she has to be invited for me to view a program favorably but she would never actually accompany me at this point (we are planning to return to the top 2 or 3 together).