Two Months in and Having Second Thoughts

[DrArete]

I thought I knew what I was getting myself into. I spent quite a bit of time with doctors, I considered other options, and at 31 yrs old, I started a 1 yr post bacc program.
Now though, I am seriously thinking of quitting. I have to do so soon, because after fall term hits, I will be on the hook for something like 15,000 more.
I am capable and have gotten a 4.0 so far, but I just don't like the material. I don't find the science very interesting.
I also have realized that medicine isn't really about helping people per se, and that you can help people in a lot of different ways.
My decision to do this was likely based on a motivation for personal gain, that is, to do something that was prestigious and would be interesting.
Now though, I just want to go make some money and have a life. I already would have quit if I hadn't burned bridges at my last job to come here. I may well have to move home for a bit if I go.
I felt so sure a few months ago.
Now I feel like I am sinking into a depression and don't fit in.

http://www.askmen.com/money/career_200/210_career.html

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[drdan83]

You have to go to medicine for the right reasons.

That article was depressing.

 

[NTF]

Better to realize this now than after accumulating several hundred thousand dollars in debt. But I will say this. Not liking premed coursework really doesn't tell you anything about how you'll feel about doctoring. The article paints a rather gloomy picture but I honestly don't think it's as bleak as all that. Granted, huge salaries will probably become a lot rarer, but doctors will still pull in a comfortable salary. The reality is we don't really know what medicine will look like on the other end of healthcare reform after it's either been tinkered with or gutted. Also that article doesn't take into account incomebased repayment & loan forgiveness programs. Lastly both parties are increasingly getting behind reasonable tort reform so I wouldn't be surprised by the time you get out if 200,000k insurance premiums are just a horror story if the past. This still doesn't change the fact that medicine does exact a heavy cost in time & income lost to become a doctor.

 

[Velocity]

I am capable and have gotten a 4.0 so far, but I just don't like the material. I don't find the science very interesting.
I also have realized that medicine isn't really about helping people per se, and that you can help people in a lot of different ways.
My decision to do this was likely based on a motivation for personal gain, that is, to do something that was prestigious and would be interesting.
Now though, I just want to go make some money and have a life.

It was already mentioned, but the basic science coursework needed to get into medical school isn't representative of the coursework in medical school. However, you still need to ask yourself how you'd feel if and when you encounter medical school coursework that isn't interesting.

Medicine is about helping people, although modern medicine has really diminished that aspect. It depends where you work, but many physicians are unhappy with spending more of their time on paperwork than on patients. It's not what most of us signed up for. And as you say, it's true that you don't need to be a doctor to help people.

In my opinion, the prestige factor is overrated. It seems that the majority of people who are really impressed by the fact that you're going to medical school or have a medical degree are pre-meds and other doctors in training. You'll even encounter some spiteful people who envision doctors as all being insanely rich (while conveniently disregarding student debt and time spent for training). There's still some prestige about it, but it's not a track to gaining respect from everyone you meet.

I don't know how much time you have to make your decision. Take a week to consider it if you can. Think about everything you've done to reach the point where you are now, and think about your motivations for medical school. Could you be just as happy doing something else? If you give up now, will it bother you for years to come?

No matter what you decide, go into it fully and don't look back.

 

[QofQuimica]

Agree with NTF: if medicine is not right for you, the sooner you figure that out, the better. I would argue that if "helping people" isn't sincerely one of your main reasons for being a physician, then you should find another career. I'm not saying that altruism has to be your *only* reason for going to med school, but it does need to be a *major* reason. Because otherwise, this career is just not going to be worth it to you.

That being said, I wouldn't make the decision based on whether or not you like physics or gen bio. The work you do as a physician is very different than what you study as a premed. What is more telling is how you felt based on your clinical experiences. Unfortunately, you can't know for sure if medicine is right for you until you're already neck deep. That's why it's so important to talk to as many physicians as possible and spend a significant amount of time in a clinical setting around doctors and patients.

As far as the article goes, its one-sidedness is just as bad as that of the writers who glow about how great a medical career is. The truth is somewhere in the middle; medicine has pros and cons like any other career. Helping people rocks. Getting paid to do it rocks even more. Putting up with various forms of administrative, regulatory, and other aggravation sucks. But that's true no matter what career you do.

Best of luck with finding your path.

 

[DrArete]

Thanks everyone. I did spend significant time with doctors before doing this, but I didn't realize what the lifestyle meant until I was actually doing it.
In my head, of course I knew that there was a lot of long and hard work, but I just sort of said, well, I will do this, and then I'll be 40 or so and an attending, etc etc.
Except, the rest of my 30s count for a lot, a lot more than I had realized before.
I find it very hard to say that I want to be on a tight budget and going into massive debt and swamped with long hours and stress well into my 40s....in the hope that at the end it is all worth it.
How can I really know that until I am there or until I am MS1 or 2, and already too deep in debt to turn back?
It seems like a massive and reckless gamble.
Also, the target is moving, my first idea of a specialty is out bc a disc hernia means surgery very unlikely, and medicine is changing.
I'm leaning towards dropping out in the next few days, joining a family real estate business, and rebuilding my finances before doing some extended trips abroad to places I have lived before.
I find so many aspects of medicine fascinating, but have other interests and desires in this life, and don't think I can reconcile them all, at my age, in my position.
And yes, the article I posted is on the pessimistic side, although it is infinitely more useful than the pre meds who would eat a feces covered hotdog - http://206.82.221.135/showthread.php?t=1007

I think sometimes its like they said in Jurassic Park, you spend so much time thinking about whether you could do something, that you fail to consider fully if you should.

Agree with NTF: if medicine is not right for you, the sooner you figure that out, the better. I would argue that if "helping people" isn't sincerely one of your main reasons for being a physician, then you should find another career. I'm not saying that altruism has to be your *only* reason for going to med school, but it does need to be a *major* reason. Because otherwise, this career is just not going to be worth it to you.

That being said, I wouldn't make the decision based on whether or not you like physics or gen bio. The work you do as a physician is very different than what you study as a premed. What is more telling is how you felt based on your clinical experiences. Unfortunately, you can't know for sure if medicine is right for you until you're already neck deep. That's why it's so important to talk to as many physicians as possible and spend a significant amount of time in a clinical setting around doctors and patients.

As far as the article goes, its one-sidedness is just as bad as that of the writers who glow about how great a medical career is. The truth is somewhere in the middle; medicine has pros and cons like any other career. Helping people rocks. Getting paid to do it rocks even more. Putting up with various forms of administrative, regulatory, and other aggravation sucks. But that's true no matter what career you do.

Best of luck with finding your path.

 

[NuttyEngDude]

Best of luck to you! At this point in our lives it is a very personal decision, much more so than in our younger days.

 

[FIREitUP]

Thanks everyone. I did spend significant time with doctors before doing this, but I didn't realize what the lifestyle meant until I was actually doing it.
In my head, of course I knew that there was a lot of long and hard work, but I just sort of said, well, I will do this, and then I'll be 40 or so and an attending, etc etc.
Except, the rest of my 30s count for a lot, a lot more than I had realized before.
I find it very hard to say that I want to be on a tight budget and going into massive debt and swamped with long hours and stress well into my 40s....in the hope that at the end it is all worth it.
How can I really know that until I am there or until I am MS1 or 2, and already too deep in debt to turn back?
It seems like a massive and reckless gamble.
Also, the target is moving, my first idea of a specialty is out bc a disc hernia means surgery very unlikely, and medicine is changing.
I'm leaning towards dropping out in the next few days, joining a family real estate business, and rebuilding my finances before doing some extended trips abroad to places I have lived before.
I find so many aspects of medicine fascinating, but have other interests and desires in this life, and don't think I can reconcile them all, at my age, in my position.
And yes, the article I posted is on the pessimistic side, although it is infinitely more useful than the pre meds who would eat a feces covered hotdog - http://206.82.221.135/showthread.php?t=1007

I think sometimes its like they said in Jurassic Park, you spend so much time thinking about whether you could do something, that you fail to consider fully if you should.

Best of luck; but I wouldn't be surprised to see you back on this forum in a month.

 

[hitchhiker]

look at other graduate school options, I can think of about 5 other choices I would apply to if I wasn't more interested in medicine and already 90% through with the process.

In the end though, you have to ask yourself, what do I want to do?

 

[0919mmk]

Yes, make a personal decision based on the factors that matter to you. BUT, the grass is of course always greener on the other side. I have friends graduating from law school now, and they can't find jobs. MBA grads can end up in all kinds of s**tty jobs. There is no magical promised land obviously, and real estate is not exactly in what you would call a golden age right now right?

You takes the good with the bad. This economy is bending EVERYONE over right now.

 

[drdan83]

I also want to say that when I attempted college the first time around and took some pre-req's, I hated the material too and I abandoned my plans out of frustration. Over the years I realized that medicine was what I really wanted to do and I started to look at the pre-req's as simply an obstacle that I needed to overcome.

I'm have the mindset now that the pre-req's are the only thing standing between me and my dreams and this mindset is what is allowing me to get through them.

I don't have an interest in my pre-req coursework but I know that doing well in them doesn't mean that I have to like them. It's all about how you look at them. Medical school, from what I understand, is different.

 

[sindadel]

I would say to you that you should be careful to not burn bridges in your current school. Talk to your dean/administration and tell them you need to take a leave of absence so that if you do change your mind you have a pathway to return to.

Good luck. It's definitely hard to know whether you've made the right decision until you're far into the path.