- Joined
- Oct 12, 2004
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The Ultimate Alpha Omega Alpha Student
She was stressing out. Her thoughts were racing incessantly in her head like greyhounds at the races attempting to chase the silver mechanical rabbit that they would never catch. Around and around they went in her head. This hadn?t happened to her before, but this was her first time away from home and the added rigors of being in a new environment contributed to the stress. Moreover, she had a final exam coming up in Pharmacology. There was too much information for her to absorb. But her entire life she always did well on exams and solidly knew the information going into a test. She was so used to getting straight A?s and now, she was barely passing her tests.
Diane McCarthy was from the New Haven, Connecticut and was a first year student at Good Medical School (GMS). It was the third month of her first year and she was doing well enough to get by without anyone noticing her distress. One day, she scheduled an appointment with the school physician to go over her vaccination history to fulfill the medical school requirements. When the doctor asked her how she was doing, Diane shared her concerns about how stressed she was feeling about the upcoming test. The doctor told her that stress was pretty common amongst medical students and suggested that she go and talk with the psychiatrist at the GMS Counseling Center.
The next day, Diane called the Counseling Center and made an appointment with the psychiatrist, Dr. Copper. Luckily, there was a cancellation and they could fit her in later that afternoon, the secretary told Diane. Diane trudged from her afternoon lecture on pharmacokinetics, carrying her heavy green book bag and walked to GMS Counseling Center. When she arrived, Dr. Copper, a rather obese, greasy man with beady eyes, welcomed her into his office.
?So, what brings you in today?? asked Dr. Copper with a toothy smile.
?Oh, I?m just a little stressed about this test coming up, and the school doc suggested coming in and talking with you about it,? replied Diane.
?Hmm...well, this feeling is pretty common in medical school. It can be a stressful environment. With all the information, it?s like trying to take a drink from a fire hydrant, y?know.? Dr. Copper said.
?Yeah, it?s a lot of work. I think I can do it, if I put my mind into it. Do you have any suggestions that would help me?? asked Diane.
?Yes, I do. I?m going to prescribe you something. It?s a new drug out on the market, specifically for medical students who are stressing out. It?s called Medstudachil. Actually, I have some free samples here in my office. I?ll give you a few packets, enough to last you until you get the prescription filled. Just take one every night for the next month and you?ll be completely under stressed.?
?Thanks Dr. Copper, you?ve been so helpful.?
Diane shook hands with the school psychiatrist and was given a paper bag of Medstudachil samples. She left the office and walked towards GMS Coaler Library to study for the Pharmacology test. After her studies were completed, Diane extracted the turquoise gelatin capsule from its safety wrap and placed it into her mouth. She washed it down with the last of her room temperature Diet Dr. Pepper.
About thirty minutes later, Diane began feeling a funny sensation in her forehead. She thought she heard little mechanical buzzes emanating from within her skull, but brushed that idea off her shoulder.
?I must be going crazy if I?m hearing these mechanical sounds in my head,? as she nervously laughed at herself.
Diane decided to take a short nap in the library basement, where there was a comfortable, worn leather couch stashed in the deepest corner. She laid her head down on the arm of the couch and fell asleep immediately.
When she awoke, she was no longer in the library basement. She was lying in a cot in an all-white room with what appeared to be fingernail scratches all over the walls. She looked to left and saw a gray metal door with a small pane of Plexiglas. When she tried to get up, she realized her arms and legs were strapped down to the posts of the bed. She attempted to pull these off, but the leather straps were efficiently keeping her restrained. She tried yelling out for help, but she was unable to move her lips or her vocal cords. Only a soft, ?mmmph? came out.
What?s happening to me, she desperately thought to herself.
Minutes later, she heard someone sliding keys into the door and the doorknob turned. In came the school physician and Dr. Copper!
?Diane, you have to understand that we can?t have students who are anxious about tests at GMS. We must have the best medical students coming out of GMS, its part of our mission statement. It?ll look horrible for the school rankings, if they see that our medical school graduates aren?t able to cope with tests,? said the school physician.
Diane was completely shocked and instantly regretted telling the school physician her concerns.
Then Dr. Copper spoke, ?The drug we gave you is a capsule filled with the latest in nano-technology. As we speak, these little machines are restructuring your neuronal connections and making you into, what we like to call, the Ultimate Alpha Omega Alpha student. In less than twenty-four hours, you?ll no longer have any stress associated with exams. Unfortunately, the side effect is that you won?t be the same person anymore. You?ll no longer enjoy activities outside of medicine, and you will have an indescribable craving to work at a hospital for over hundreds of hours a week.?
?Welcome to the club,? both doctors simultaneously whispered and turned towards the door.
Diane looked at the back of their heads and noticed an eerie glowing turquoise light emanating from their ears, as she soon fell into unconsciousness again.
She was stressing out. Her thoughts were racing incessantly in her head like greyhounds at the races attempting to chase the silver mechanical rabbit that they would never catch. Around and around they went in her head. This hadn?t happened to her before, but this was her first time away from home and the added rigors of being in a new environment contributed to the stress. Moreover, she had a final exam coming up in Pharmacology. There was too much information for her to absorb. But her entire life she always did well on exams and solidly knew the information going into a test. She was so used to getting straight A?s and now, she was barely passing her tests.
Diane McCarthy was from the New Haven, Connecticut and was a first year student at Good Medical School (GMS). It was the third month of her first year and she was doing well enough to get by without anyone noticing her distress. One day, she scheduled an appointment with the school physician to go over her vaccination history to fulfill the medical school requirements. When the doctor asked her how she was doing, Diane shared her concerns about how stressed she was feeling about the upcoming test. The doctor told her that stress was pretty common amongst medical students and suggested that she go and talk with the psychiatrist at the GMS Counseling Center.
The next day, Diane called the Counseling Center and made an appointment with the psychiatrist, Dr. Copper. Luckily, there was a cancellation and they could fit her in later that afternoon, the secretary told Diane. Diane trudged from her afternoon lecture on pharmacokinetics, carrying her heavy green book bag and walked to GMS Counseling Center. When she arrived, Dr. Copper, a rather obese, greasy man with beady eyes, welcomed her into his office.
?So, what brings you in today?? asked Dr. Copper with a toothy smile.
?Oh, I?m just a little stressed about this test coming up, and the school doc suggested coming in and talking with you about it,? replied Diane.
?Hmm...well, this feeling is pretty common in medical school. It can be a stressful environment. With all the information, it?s like trying to take a drink from a fire hydrant, y?know.? Dr. Copper said.
?Yeah, it?s a lot of work. I think I can do it, if I put my mind into it. Do you have any suggestions that would help me?? asked Diane.
?Yes, I do. I?m going to prescribe you something. It?s a new drug out on the market, specifically for medical students who are stressing out. It?s called Medstudachil. Actually, I have some free samples here in my office. I?ll give you a few packets, enough to last you until you get the prescription filled. Just take one every night for the next month and you?ll be completely under stressed.?
?Thanks Dr. Copper, you?ve been so helpful.?
Diane shook hands with the school psychiatrist and was given a paper bag of Medstudachil samples. She left the office and walked towards GMS Coaler Library to study for the Pharmacology test. After her studies were completed, Diane extracted the turquoise gelatin capsule from its safety wrap and placed it into her mouth. She washed it down with the last of her room temperature Diet Dr. Pepper.
About thirty minutes later, Diane began feeling a funny sensation in her forehead. She thought she heard little mechanical buzzes emanating from within her skull, but brushed that idea off her shoulder.
?I must be going crazy if I?m hearing these mechanical sounds in my head,? as she nervously laughed at herself.
Diane decided to take a short nap in the library basement, where there was a comfortable, worn leather couch stashed in the deepest corner. She laid her head down on the arm of the couch and fell asleep immediately.
When she awoke, she was no longer in the library basement. She was lying in a cot in an all-white room with what appeared to be fingernail scratches all over the walls. She looked to left and saw a gray metal door with a small pane of Plexiglas. When she tried to get up, she realized her arms and legs were strapped down to the posts of the bed. She attempted to pull these off, but the leather straps were efficiently keeping her restrained. She tried yelling out for help, but she was unable to move her lips or her vocal cords. Only a soft, ?mmmph? came out.
What?s happening to me, she desperately thought to herself.
Minutes later, she heard someone sliding keys into the door and the doorknob turned. In came the school physician and Dr. Copper!
?Diane, you have to understand that we can?t have students who are anxious about tests at GMS. We must have the best medical students coming out of GMS, its part of our mission statement. It?ll look horrible for the school rankings, if they see that our medical school graduates aren?t able to cope with tests,? said the school physician.
Diane was completely shocked and instantly regretted telling the school physician her concerns.
Then Dr. Copper spoke, ?The drug we gave you is a capsule filled with the latest in nano-technology. As we speak, these little machines are restructuring your neuronal connections and making you into, what we like to call, the Ultimate Alpha Omega Alpha student. In less than twenty-four hours, you?ll no longer have any stress associated with exams. Unfortunately, the side effect is that you won?t be the same person anymore. You?ll no longer enjoy activities outside of medicine, and you will have an indescribable craving to work at a hospital for over hundreds of hours a week.?
?Welcome to the club,? both doctors simultaneously whispered and turned towards the door.
Diane looked at the back of their heads and noticed an eerie glowing turquoise light emanating from their ears, as she soon fell into unconsciousness again.