Unhappy

[Aphasic]

---

Members don't see this ad.

I matched. I know there are lots of US Seniors, reapplicants, DOs, FMGs, IMGs, what-have-yous that didn't. I know there is disease, famine, death, corruption, and poverty. I know I ranked this program, albeit last, in a very competitive field. I know I agreed to a contract when I submitted by ROL, and I know that this position is better than being nowhere or having to do this whole thing next year but with much worse odds. I WILL be moving and start working for them July 1st, or whenever they want me to show up. I will NOT reneg on my contract.

I know that 81% of US Seniors matched in their top 3, but for the 19% of you that didn't, is anyone else out there unhappy and want to commiserate? Anyone having a hard time putting on a happy face for everyone else?

 

[EastWestN2grt]

One of my close friends and colleagues matched into her 6th choice. On the opposite side of the country from her family. Hours away from anyone she knows. She was bummed last Thursday. But before the end of the day she found out about, and then met another co-intern going to the same program through a mutual friend. So at the least, she now knows someone there, a bit of a silver lining. Another friend and colleague matched 4 hours away from where his wife works. She is also in another very demanding profession and both of them are not going to see much of each other the next year, maybe even longer. But they will figure it out and make it work. (I hope)

Just remember there are always ups and downs in life. This is just one of them. I'm sure there will be a silver lining somewhere. Its just difficult to see now.

Best of luck.

 

[WEKS]

I matched. I know there are lots of US Seniors, reapplicants, DOs, FMGs, IMGs, what-have-yous that didn't. I know there is disease, famine, death, corruption, and poverty. I know I ranked this program, albeit last, in a very competitive field. I know I agreed to a contract when I submitted by ROL, and I know that this position is better than being nowhere or having to do this whole thing next year but with much worse odds. I WILL be moving and start working for them July 1st, or whenever they want me to show up. I will NOT reneg on my contract.

I know that 81% of US Seniors matched in their top 3, but for the 19% of you that didn't, is anyone else out there unhappy and want to commiserate? Anyone having a hard time putting on a happy face for everyone else?

Right there with you buddy. Matched at my #12 at a small community program. Granted, I liked my program...its in a good location, and I really thought the people there were great, but I can't shake this feeling of being so frickin down about being unwanted at my top 10 (including my home program). Maybe I got cocky because I was getting interviews at the top academic programs in the country (MGH, UCSF, PENN, etc.). Maybe 81% of people match in their top 3, but at my school it seems like 95% of people matched in their top 3. I have more or less shunned myself from my classmates since Thursday because I can't deal with this crap.

Bottom line is, I know things will work out. We will be over this when we start our residencies. My cousin did his ortho residency at a small program I never heard of, but now he makes more than any orthopedic surgeon I have ever met (and probably triple what top academic ortho surgeons make). Just looking for the silver lining, but right now, this sucks.

 

[El Dooderino]

Right there with you buddy. Maybe I got cocky because I was getting interviews at the top academic programs in the country (MGH, UCSF, PENN, etc.), but I fell all the way down to 12 on my rank list at a small community program. Granted, its in a good location, and I really thought the people there were great, but I can't shake this feeling of being so frickin down about being unwanted at my top 10 (including my home program). Maybe 81% of people match in their top 3, but at my school it seems like 95% of people matched in their top 3. I have more or less shunned myself from my classmates since Thursday because I can't deal with this crap.

Bottom line is, I know things will work out. We will be over this when we start our residencies. My cousin did his ortho residency at a small program I never heard of, but now he makes more than any orthopedic surgeon I have ever met (and probably triple what top academic ortho surgeons make). Just looking for the silver lining, but right now, this sucks.

before you apply for jobs in the future you need to get someone to help you with interview skills. if your numbers were good enough to get those interviews there's no reason to fall that far. you were probably doing something in the interviews you didn't even realize

 

[notdeadyet]

Maybe 81% of people match in their top 3, but at my school it seems like 95% of people matched in their top 3. I have more or less shunned myself from my classmates since Thursday because I can't deal with this crap.

Keep in mind that he who matches highest, matches loudest. It probably looks like everyone got their top choice just because folks tend to trumpet the fact. There are probably more folks like you, licking their wounds quietly, than you might think.

 

[MJB]

1. Matched into highly competitive field (supposedly,I'd be interested in which one)

2. Bitching about location/program, even though you're told numerous times "if you don't wanna go there, don't put it on your ROL".

Unreal.

And people wonder why some docs are unhappy? Likely because they're people that won't ever be happy.

 

[WEKS]

before you apply for jobs in the future you need to get someone to help you with interview skills. if your numbers were good enough to get those interviews there's no reason to fall that far. you were probably doing something in the interviews you didn't even realize

I definitely agree. I was definitely friendly/courteous and the substance of my interviews were probably fine. I just think I tend to come off a little anxious/nervous when I give first impressions. Just kind of sucks because its not at all how I am on a day to day basis, and that this probably trumped what my LOR writers said about me. Sigh...shoulda popped a xanax before some interviews.

 

[jenesaispas0005]

1. Matched into highly competitive field (supposedly,I'd be interested in which one)

2. Bitching about location/program, even though you're told numerous times "if you don't wanna go there, don't put it on your ROL".

Unreal.

And people wonder why some docs are unhappy? Likely because they're people that won't ever be happy.

We are human beings, not machines, and feelings of simple disappointment to complete devastation about not matching at your top choice, even if you got #2 or #3, are completely normal. When we've worked this hard for something it is going to be upsetting when we don't get what we think we want the most.

If I had matched anywhere but my top choice, I would have had to pick up and move no less than 5 hours away from my family, my fiance, my house, and the life I built where I am now. That's how close the next closest program in my specialty is to me. That's not saying that I wouldn't be happy about matching anywhere on my rank list--I will have a job doing what I love doing for the rest of my life, with all else being equal. But when your #1 is truly your absolute top choice, most of the time the ranking of #2 and on is completely arbitrary.

 

[mokavious]

b

 

[MJB]

We are human beings, not machines, and feelings of simple disappointment to complete devastation about not matching at your top choice, even if you got #2 or #3, are completely normal. When we've worked this hard for something it is going to be upsetting when we don't get what we think we want the most.

If I had matched anywhere but my top choice, I would have had to pick up and move no less than 5 hours away from my family, my fiance, my house, and the life I built where I am now. That's how close the next closest program in my specialty is to me. That's not saying that I wouldn't be happy about matching anywhere on my rank list--I will have a job doing what I love doing for the rest of my life, with all else being equal. But when your #1 is truly your absolute top choice, most of the time the ranking of #2 and on is completely arbitrary.

Some people just need a little perspective. That's all.

 

[Doctor4Life1769]

For "competitive" and even "non-competitive" specialties, the question truly is... "would you rather go there or scramble?"

Sure, I was initially surprised I didn't get my #1 or 2, but after I gave it more thought... I'm going to have the opportunity to be an anesthesiologist. So no, I'm not "unhappy"... I'm thrilled! Plus, the residents at that program are really happy too, and I know I am happy to be there as well!

Agreed with MJB, some of you DO need perspective. I was raised on <25K per year in a standard household of 4 and had a lot of other issues. We lived well below our means. Some of you have never had it tough, and some of you have. I hope that those who came from a well-to-do background do realize that you will be able to do what you want for the rest of your career/life. Those who have worked part-time, or at your parent's dinky little store, or whatever understand this... those who've never worked probably feel entitled or whatever. Honestly, you got what you want in a "competitive" specialty... be happy about it. At least SOMEONE wanted you... be thrilled that you someone is giving you a chance. Be the best resident possible, prove to them that they were right to take a stab at you when no one else was willing to do so...

 

[entanercept]

@doctor4life.

Very very very very well said.

 

[Law2Doc]

I matched. I know there are lots of US Seniors, reapplicants, DOs, FMGs, IMGs, what-have-yous that didn't. I know there is disease, famine, death, corruption, and poverty. I know I ranked this program, albeit last, in a very competitive field. I know I agreed to a contract when I submitted by ROL, and I know that this position is better than being nowhere or having to do this whole thing next year but with much worse odds. I WILL be moving and start working for them July 1st, or whenever they want me to show up. I will NOT reneg on my contract.

I know that 81% of US Seniors matched in their top 3, but for the 19% of you that didn't, is anyone else out there unhappy and want to commiserate? Anyone having a hard time putting on a happy face for everyone else?

If it makes you feel any better, many of the folks I know who matched deeper in their list ended up hearing plenty of "horror stories" about places they ranked higher, and in the end felt like they dodged a bullet.

 

[rachmoninov3]

Sure I feel that way, the home I've dreamed of since leaving for med school matched me 4 out of 3 spots. However I was lucky enough to scramble into a similar local with a similar if not better program. I could spend all day listing the pros of this program, which outweigh the cons, but I still have that feeling in my gut. Even though the envy and nausea are improving and are only sporadic now, what is done is done and within the NRMP all is final.

One of my favorite quotes:

Dare he, for whom circumstances make it possible to realize his
true destiny, refuse it simply because he is not prepared to give up
everything else?---Dag Hammarskjold, Markings (Go read it if you're feeling down)

While we're complaining about our future, have you thought what happens in July? If anything this entire set up, move across country (or at least to a new place) and meet new people is no doubt part of the socialpsychology of
residency, just like it was of medical school.

Whose sig reads: 'Stop complaining and go save lives?'
--very true

 

[DrKnowLittle]

matched me 4 out of 3 spots

So one of my classmates was also told she was #6 out of 5 spots for her #1 pick... Personally, I don't really know how I would react if someone told me this. Umm, thanks, ... I guess? Seems like no matter how you slice it it's just an awkward thing to say that provides absolutely no consolation but rather a big fat, "What if?" How did you take it? What did you tell the person who told you this?

 

[NOsquid]

If it makes you feel any better, many of the folks I know who matched deeper in their list ended up hearing plenty of "horror stories" about places they ranked higher, and in the end felt like they dodged a bullet.

Exactly. Call up your buddies at MGH and Penn in 6 months, see how they feel. You might be surprised.

 

[NOsquid]

So one of my classmates was also told she was #6 out of 5 spots for her #1 pick... Personally, I don't really know how I would react if someone told me this. Umm, thanks, ... I guess? Seems like no matter how you slice it it's just an awkward thing to say that provides absolutely no consolation but rather a big fat, "What if?" How did you take it? What did you tell the person who told you this?

Wouldn't be surprised if it was a lie, call me cynical.

 

[Doctor4Life1769]

Wouldn't be surprised if it was a lie, call me cynical.

Yeah, must be one super popular program if their top 5 all ranked them #1

 

[MJB]

Yeah, must be one super popular program if their top 5 all ranked them #1

Or...their top 5 were tipped off.

Crazier things have happened. Just because most play by the rules doesn't mean all do.

 

[DrKnowLittle]

I would have liked to have a scrubs moment where I imagined punching this person in the face before being brought back to reality. I think it was a lie, too. It came from a senior resident who graduated from our med school.

 

[Doctor4Life1769]

Or...their top 5 were tipped off.

Crazier things have happened. Just because most play by the rules doesn't mean all do.

That's possible. I know that happens with DO programs.

Wish someone had tipped me off...

 

[Deferoxamine]

If it makes you feel any better, many of the folks I know who matched deeper in their list ended up hearing plenty of "horror stories" about places they ranked higher, and in the end felt like they dodged a bullet.

I like this.

In addition to missing the cut for my #1, my #3 also sent me a survey after the match, asking me why I didn't rank them as highly as the place I matched (conclusion = I would have matched there if I wanted to). Have since heard mixed things about both my #1 and #3 programs. #3 had a page of "Which one of these was our biggest turnoff?" questions (self-conscious much?). Hmmm. Sometimes, you can feel like you still won the gold medal when you matched at your #2, and I think this is one of those times.

 

[liliequist]

Exactly. Call up your buddies at MGH and Penn in 6 months, see how they feel. You might be surprised.

What are you getting at here?

 

[NOsquid]

What are you getting at here?

That they might have regrets.

 

[Taty]

For "competitive" and even "non-competitive" specialties, the question truly is... "would you rather go there or scramble?"

Sure, I was initially surprised I didn't get my #1 or 2, but after I gave it more thought... I'm going to have the opportunity to be an anesthesiologist. So no, I'm not "unhappy"... I'm thrilled! Plus, the residents at that program are really happy too, and I know I am happy to be there as well!

Agreed with MJB, some of you DO need perspective. I was raised on <25K per year in a standard household of 4 and had a lot of other issues. We lived well below our means. Some of you have never had it tough, and some of you have. I hope that those who came from a well-to-do background do realize that you will be able to do what you want for the rest of your career/life. Those who have worked part-time, or at your parent's dinky little store, or whatever understand this... those who've never worked probably feel entitled or whatever. Honestly, you got what you want in a "competitive" specialty... be happy about it. At least SOMEONE wanted you... be thrilled that you someone is giving you a chance. Be the best resident possible, prove to them that they were right to take a stab at you when no one else was willing to do so...

👍

 

[Aphasic]

Right there with you buddy. Matched at my #12 at a small community program. Granted, I liked my program...its in a good location, and I really thought the people there were great, but I can't shake this feeling of being so frickin down about being unwanted at my top 10 (including my home program). Maybe I got cocky because I was getting interviews at the top academic programs in the country (MGH, UCSF, PENN, etc.). Maybe 81% of people match in their top 3, but at my school it seems like 95% of people matched in their top 3. I have more or less shunned myself from my classmates since Thursday because I can't deal with this crap.

I suppose most of my unhappiness stems from the fact that my top 14 didn't want me (including my home program). And perhaps I too grew a little cocky after interviews with top academic programs and positive post-interview contact. In regards to where I matched, I don't feel like someone wanted me as much as I feel like we were the last two single kids at the dance after everyone else paired off; we're both stuck with each other.

After the years of hard work I put into pursuing my field (surgical subspecialty), I'm disappointed at not being at one of those top academic centers. This will, without a doubt, significantly impact any fellowship opportunities and whether I can even further specialize in the field I am interested in or even pursue academics at all. So I grieve for the career I thought I wanted. I know there are much worse things in the world and being upset won't change my situation at all, but it has only been a week, and my pity party of one is still in full swing.

 

[WEKS]

After the years of hard work I put into pursuing my field (surgical subspecialty), I'm disappointed at not being at one of those top academic centers. This will, without a doubt, significantly impact any fellowship opportunities and whether I can even further specialize in the field I am interested in or even pursue academics at all. So I grieve for the career I thought I wanted. I know there are much worse things in the world and being upset won't change my situation at all, but it has only been a week, and my pity party of one is still in full swing.

If you put the work in during residency, you can still have whatever career you want. Look, there are stories like ours every year on this forum. Not once have I heard a resident or attending post that their career path was forever derailed because they fell on their rank list. The shock of falling so far is awful...but it will get easier every day.

 

[mcl]

I feel like we were the last two single kids at the dance after everyone else paired off; we're both stuck with each other.

I think it's natural to spend a few days feeling disappointed, or even angry when the Match doesn't go as well as hoped/expected. But please remember that the program where you matched has NO idea where they fell on your rank list, and will most likely assume they were high on your list rather than the last stop before the Scramble. Do nothing to disabuse them of that notion--especially not the PD or the other residents! As July approaches, take a deep breath, find some silver linings, and be prepared to knock their socks off with your positive attitude, friendliness, and work ethic. It may not be the residency you envisioned, but it can still be an excellent experience both personally and professionally.

 

[CherryBomb]

I know that 81% of US Seniors matched in their top 3, but for the 19% of you that didn't, is anyone else out there unhappy and want to commiserate? Anyone having a hard time putting on a happy face for everyone else?

I don't post a lot. I read this website, sometimes, but I don't post a lot.

If you read the few posts that I have, you will see that I didn't match in my hoped-for specialty, and that I had to scramble into a very different field.

I was devastated. To have 24 hours to mentally re-write your career path was very hard. It took me 6 months to really accept what had happened.

If I could go back in time and change the outcome of that Match Day, though, I wouldn't. I love this new specialty. I rotated through the old specialty that I had hoped to match in, and was surprised at how little appeal it had for me anymore. I love the current program and the fellow residents. Things have really worked out well.

The only thing that I would change about Match Day, if I could, would be to convince the MS4 me that this whole Match Day buildup is so overblown. There is so much hype and to-do and bluster about Match Day, like it's the "first day of the rest of your life," or that it "defines your career forever and ever." It doesn't. In the middle of intern year, I looked back at Match Day and thought how ridiculous it was at how much emphasis we all put on it. Even at that point in intern year, I already knew of 6 former classmates who were either going to change programs or change specialties. When you think about it from that respect, Match Day is like a big huge fancy wedding ceremony....that often ends in divorce 4 months later. Seems silly to have so much hype then, right?

Read this: http://theunderweardrawer.blogspot.com/2011/03/then-and-now.html. She sums it up a lot better than I can.

 

[jenesaispas0005]

... Even at that point in intern year, I already knew of 6 former classmates who were either going to change programs or change specialties.

This is the data that doesn't get happily thrown around on match day that I find the most interesting. I wonder what percentage of PGY1's (or even higher) end up either 'washing out' or just having a change of heart about programs or specialties. It's probably a lot higher than we think i is.

... When you think about it from that respect, Match Day is like a big huge fancy wedding ceremony....that often ends in divorce 4 months later. Seems silly to have so much hype then, right?

Match day has its merits. It's a way to have some closure from medical school, aside from graduation, and for those people for whom it worked out, to celebrate matching into what/where they wanted (or what they think they wanted). I definitely don't begrudge people who want to celebrate or just revel in their relief about having somewhere to go in 4 months. But I agree that it can be really cheesy and overdone.

 

[a winner is you]

I feel for you, I really do. If I matched at my #13, I would have probably fallen into a deep depression. I was actually having nightmares between the Monday and Thursday of match week, dreading my #11-13. I think there is disappointment for anyone who didn't match their #1, the only difference is the length of time it takes to get over it depending on how far you fell. I matched at my #2 and my heart actually sank when I opened my envelope. I'm over it now and am very excited for the future. I can't say that I would feel the same if I matched at #13 or even anywhere outside my top 4. It would probably take me 5 years to get over it (i.e. after I got the heck out of there).

Don't know the point of this post or what to tell ya, except that I don't think it's an unnatural reaction at all. People always told me that I would still be a radiologist no matter where I went so I shouldn't worry about where I matched, which is true but that doesn't mean I want to be miserable for 4-5 years at a place I don't want to be at.

 

[bubbleyum]

I suppose most of my unhappiness stems from the fact that my top 14 didn't want me (including my home program). And perhaps I too grew a little cocky after interviews with top academic programs and positive post-interview contact. In regards to where I matched, I don't feel like someone wanted me as much as I feel like we were the last two single kids at the dance after everyone else paired off; we're both stuck with each other.

After the years of hard work I put into pursuing my field (surgical subspecialty), I'm disappointed at not being at one of those top academic centers. This will, without a doubt, significantly impact any fellowship opportunities and whether I can even further specialize in the field I am interested in or even pursue academics at all. So I grieve for the career I thought I wanted. I know there are much worse things in the world and being upset won't change my situation at all, but it has only been a week, and my pity party of one is still in full swing.

aphasic,
you have every right to have your pity party.
my perspective is different because i had to scramble for a prelim spot somewhere that i had not even initially applied to, so even if my pgy-2 match was not my #1 choice i was just relieved that i didn't have to scramble for that as well. i am relieved and thankful for my pgy-1 spot too!

but everybody's experience is different and you have worked hard for the past 8 years (including undergrad) and nurtured certain hopes and expectations that were disappointed on match day. so it is understandable to be disappointed. all these people on sdn who matched into their top 3 would be just as disappointed as you if they had matched into their last choice, if they were really being honest.

i do hope that you will have some great experiences at your residency, as well as good training opportunities. i wonder if there is a way to do some away electives at different "more academic" centers where you can show them who you are and make some connections. may help with fellowships later on. i don't think it's all over for you now. i am sure you can still get a good fellowship, sounds like you are smart, have good grades, and work hard.

good luck.

 

[MJB]

I suppose most of my unhappiness stems from the fact that my top 14 didn't want me (including my home program). And perhaps I too grew a little cocky after interviews with top academic programs and positive post-interview contact. In regards to where I matched, I don't feel like someone wanted me as much as I feel like we were the last two single kids at the dance after everyone else paired off; we're both stuck with each other.

After the years of hard work I put into pursuing my field (surgical subspecialty), I'm disappointed at not being at one of those top academic centers. This will, without a doubt, significantly impact any fellowship opportunities and whether I can even further specialize in the field I am interested in or even pursue academics at all. So I grieve for the career I thought I wanted. I know there are much worse things in the world and being upset won't change my situation at all, but it has only been a week, and my pity party of one is still in full swing.

One can only assume you've never really had to face any real adversity.

Good luck.



Cherrybomb...very well said.

 

[ilovepath]

I always wondered how so many could switch specialties given programs are making a big deal aobut the medicare funding....

This is the data that doesn't get happily thrown around on match day that I find the most interesting. I wonder what percentage of PGY1's (or even higher) end up either 'washing out' or just having a change of heart about programs or specialties. It's probably a lot higher than we think i is.



Match day has its merits. It's a way to have some closure from medical school, aside from graduation, and for those people for whom it worked out, to celebrate matching into what/where they wanted (or what they think they wanted). I definitely don't begrudge people who want to celebrate or just revel in their relief about having somewhere to go in 4 months. But I agree that it can be really cheesy and overdone.

 

[Ishie1013]

People can be devastated or disappointed for any reason, and this individual isn't stating he's going to abandon the residency or anything, merely expressing disappointment and looking for fellow people that are disappointed since the more common expression this time of year seems to be one of celebration.

I ended up being very lucky, but despite having faced definite adversity in my life, if I'd matched at my bottom program, I'd be pretty disappointed and have my own little pity party every time people were congratulating each other on getting their first choices.

To the OP, I'm sorry; that does suck, but like others have said, I'm sure it'll get better.

 

[smq123]

I always wondered how so many could switch specialties given programs are making a big deal aobut the medicare funding....

1) First, keep in mind that MANY residents who switch specialties are switching out of longer residency tracks (surgery, OB/gyn, neurosurgery, etc.) into shorter residency tracks (FM, IM, peds, path). Since you are guaranteed funding for the full length of the original specialty that you matched into, switching into a shorter residency path is not a problem at all.

2) There are other sources of funding. Medicare provides part of it, but some programs can ask the hospital to fund another position if they choose to do so. Plus, funding of residency spots is complicated, but even if you switch specialties, it's not like the hospital gets NO money for you.

aPD sums it up best (as always):

You are mostly correct.

Once you "declare" a field by starting training, the federal gov't locks you into the minimum number of years of funding to obtain board certification in that field. So, as the previous poster mentioned, if you start as a surgeon you get 5 years of funding -- if you change your mind and switch to Medicine, you get to keep that 5 total years. If you start in IM and switch to medicine, you only get the 3 years of funding.

If you do a transitional / prelim year, you use a year of funding but you don't get capped until you start in your true field.

Here's where it's not so clear: Gov't funding comes in two flavors -- DME (Direct Medicine Expense) and IME (Indirect Medical Expenses). DME is supposed to pay for resident salary and benefits. IME is supposed to pay for the "invisible" costs of training residents -- variously translated as overordering tests, ineffiencies in the system, caring for uninsured patients, etc. Once you exceed your funding limit, the sponsoring institution gets 50% of the DME and 100% of the IME. So, as you can see, it's not that a program gets no money for you, they just get less.

For example, all IM specialty fellowships are beyond the GME funding clock and all are paid 50% DME.

Still, many GME budgets are limited, and getting half the money is not an option.

3) Finally, in some programs, the PD would rather have to find the money to fund you than have a completely unfilled spot (which kind of screws up the call schedule for everyone else).

 

[MrBurns10]

One can only assume you've never really had to face any real adversity.

Good luck.

Let it be, MJB. Aphasic has perspective, he/she (I'm just going to say "he" to avoid the / for the rest of the post) admits that this can't compare to not matching at all which, in turn, doesn't come close to the real suffering that people all over the world endure everyday.

That doesn't mean he can't feel disappointed with a significant letdown. People feel disappointed, upset, a need to vent all the time (just wait 'til you're an intern). Let him have his thread, and let others join in as this can be therapeutic.

Having perspective doesn't mean you're not entitled to have emotions.

 

[microscp2]

another FM resident at my program is not swithching to a shorter residency track, is actually the other way around. From FM to OB/GYN and she matched.

 

[bitterswtmocha]

I know the feeling. Matched at a program far away from my significant other and we just cried when it happened...for hours. It was absolutely unexpected.

But, don't let your sadness take away some of the most important first impressions you'll have as you start your residency. Something I regret from when I first started college and never really recovered from. Won't let it happen this time...embrace it, work hard, and you will get where you want to go...where you're meant to be. I sure hope so, because we're in the same boat. A lot of us are.

🙂