"Unique" Opener in Personal Statement -- Good or Bad?

Med School Insiders
This forum made possible through the generous support of SDN members, donors, and sponsors. Thank you.

Should you use a "uniqueness" opener in the personal statement?

  • Yes

    Votes: 43 76.8%

  • No

    Votes: 13 23.2%
  • Total voters
    56
X

Xiao

Full Member
10+ Year Member
Joined
Oct 13, 2009
Messages
115
Reaction score
1
Points
4,531
  1. Medical Student
Members do not see this ad.
What do you all think about the approach of "unique attention grabbers" in the personal statement? By "unique attention grabber", i mean a flashback type description about a personal pursuit that's probably not related to medicine -- think horseback riding, singing opera, basket-weaving.

Is it a good way to keep the adcom engaged?
OR
Is it a cheesy and contrived approach?
 
Xiao said:
What do you all think about the approach of "unique attention grabbers" in the personal statement? By "unique attention grabber", i mean a flashback type description about a personal pursuit that's probably not related to medicine -- think horseback riding, singing opera, basket-weaving.

Is it a good way to keep the adcom engaged?
OR
Is it a cheesy and contrived approach?
Click to expand...

If it doesn't somehow tie in to what the theme of your statement is, I would recommend against using it. Surely you could find other ways to engage the reader without using essentially throwaway content.
 
Xiao said:
What do you all think about the approach of "unique attention grabbers" in the personal statement? By "unique attention grabber", i mean a flashback type description about a personal pursuit that's probably not related to medicine -- think horseback riding, singing opera, basket-weaving.

Is it a good way to keep the adcom engaged?
OR
Is it a cheesy and contrived approach?
Click to expand...
no.
 
Xiao said:
What do you all think about the approach of "unique attention grabbers" in the personal statement? By "unique attention grabber", i mean a flashback type description about a personal pursuit that's probably not related to medicine -- think horseback riding, singing opera, basket-weaving.

Is it a good way to keep the adcom engaged?
OR
Is it a cheesy and contrived approach?
Click to expand...

Corny beyond corny.
 
interesting. 3 nays in the responses, yet 3 yays in the poll.

just to clarify: is my poll wording confusing?
 
Xiao said:
interesting. 3 nays in the responses, yet 3 yays in the poll.

just to clarify: is my poll wording confusing?
Click to expand...

Yes, it is confusing.

Yes, you should use something unique at the front end of your PS, if you can.

No, you should not use something totally unrelated to medicine.

Edit: If you really want to use something specific, you might be able to find a way to tie it in. It's not a good idea to just manufacture a connection, but since this is your life, everything is interconnected to a certain degree.
 
Astarael said:
Yes, it is confusing.

Yes, you should use something unique at the front end of your PS, if you can.

No, you should not use something totally unrelated to medicine.
Click to expand...
you can use something unrelated to medicine, and unique is always good, but flashback stuff is never unique
 
If it is in line with the rest of your personal statement, it can't hurt.

If it is obviously obvious, that is no good.
 
mauberley said:
If it doesn't somehow tie in to what the theme of your statement is, I would recommend against using it. Surely you could find other ways to engage the reader without using essentially throwaway content.
Click to expand...


This.
 
RogueUnicorn said:
you can use something unrelated to medicine, and unique is always good, but flashback stuff is never unique
Click to expand...

An essay editing service, which shall go unnamed, strongly advised me to add in a "unique" opener that's unrelated to medicine. Their reasoning was that from the adcoms perspective, every applicant is talking about medicine, so talking about something else will liven up the conversation.

I am in serious doubt of the essay editor's advise.
 
Xiao said:
An essay editing service, which shall go unnamed, strongly advised me to add in a "unique" opener that's unrelated to medicine. Their reasoning was that from the adcoms perspective, every applicant is talking about medicine, so talking about something else will liven up the conversation.

I am in serious doubt of the essay editor's advise.
Click to expand...

This isn't Family Guy.

Jumping between random and unrelated topics is not going to endear you to anyone.
 
Yeah, if I read an essay that started with, "It was a sweltering summer day," or "With drops of sweat glistening on her beautiful mane," or some other crap like that, I'd probably throw the whole application away. That's just me, though. I can't stand gratuitous prose.
 
TheMightySmiter said:
Yeah, if I read an essay that started with, "It was a sweltering summer day," or "With drops of sweat glistening on her beautiful mane," or some other crap like that, I'd probably throw the whole application away. That's just me, though. I can't stand gratuitous prose.
Click to expand...

Well shucks, I guess getting Danielle Steel to write my essay was a bad idea. 😀

In all seriousness, it really depends on what it is. My essay starts by talking about my family's village in Greece and how it was ransacked during WWII, and my great-grandmother became the acting physician of the town, even though she had pretty much no formal education. It was stories of what she did that got me interested in medicine, so for me, it's relevant and unique, and I know of several adcoms that really liked it, and thought it was among the strongest points of my app.
 
If you're going to write a PS using flashback or description, write it like it's a movie. I used that concept when writing mine (I started with a flashback) and my peers who revised my essay all said it was very attention grabbing...and dramatic. You can take any event in your life, good or bad, and write about it like something out of a movie script.
Just a thought.
 
When I applied to one of those early acceptance med programs in high school, I used horseback riding in my statement - it wasn't in the opener, more than closer.

It wasn't a "flashback" - more just describing how I enjoyed horseback riding... But I was also able to tie it into my interest in medicine.

You can use a non-medicine experience in your opener, but don't make it "flashbback" cheesy. You want to be able to tie that experience into why medicine. Say for example, opening with the time you were singing opera - and it shows how when you purse a passion, you make sure excel in it... or something. You want some experience or characteristic it describes about you that connects to medicine and Why you want to go into medicine.
 
Mine first sentence is a very unique experience I had..which has nothing to do with medicine....But I formatted my PS to continually draw correlations to the my life, medicine and this event.
 
Personal statements are intended to be colorful and help distinguish you from the nameless masses. I feel like you almost need to use colorful / descriptive prose to liven the essay and want them to invite you for an interview.

I wouldn't recommend opening with a non-medically related topic, but if you feel like it ties in with medicine, then go for it.
 
SisterDisco08 said:
Well shucks, I guess getting Danielle Steel to write my essay was a bad idea. 😀

In all seriousness, it really depends on what it is. My essay starts by talking about my family's village in Greece and how it was ransacked during WWII, and my great-grandmother became the acting physician of the town, even though she had pretty much no formal education. It was stories of what she did that got me interested in medicine, so for me, it's relevant and unique, and I know of several adcoms that really liked it, and thought it was among the strongest points of my app.
Click to expand...


Couple things I want to bring up about people using "unique" stories that always ends up hurting them

a)Telling this whole story that takes up 1/2 their essay with only 20% making some sort of remote connection to medicine/the point of the essay. 👎

b)People using unique stories that has nothing to do with the essay overally/doesn't make any connection to anything/just basically is a story about some hardship

c)Unique stories that ultimately focus on obviously grabbing the readers attention with emotional gimmicks which only make you want to vomit rolleyes.


OP - Attention grabbing/unique experiences that have nothing to do with the point of the essay is just too much of an annoyance/burden unless you find a perfect way to tie it to the point.
 
If it can be tied to medicine and its interesting then do it.
 
Kaustikos said:
a)Telling this whole story that takes up 1/2 their essay with only 20% making some sort of remote connection to medicine/the point of the essay. 👎
Click to expand...


I've seen quite a bit of these in my PS readings. I can only go for 2 paragraphs tops before I'm like, "Ok, let's get to the point now..."

And two paragraphs is pushing it. I only have patience for one.
 
Kaustikos said:
Couple things I want to bring up about people using "unique" stories that always ends up hurting them

a)Telling this whole story that takes up 1/2 their essay with only 20% making some sort of remote connection to medicine/the point of the essay. 👎

b)People using unique stories that has nothing to do with the essay overally/doesn't make any connection to anything/just basically is a story about some hardship

c)Unique stories that ultimately focus on obviously grabbing the readers attention with emotional gimmicks which only make you want to vomit rolleyes.


OP - Attention grabbing/unique experiences that have nothing to do with the point of the essay is just too much of an annoyance/burden unless you find a perfect way to tie it to the point.
Click to expand...

I mean...I was told to my face by at least three different AdComs that my essay was well-written, so I don't particularly appreciate the negative assumptions...It's possible to incorporate a relevant story and do it well. I wouldn't be able to answer "why do you want to be a doctor" without talking about the story I talk about. I speak about my inspirations to get into medicine in the beginning, then move into relevant volunteer and research experiences, what I learned from them, and close with comparing old world medicine to modern medicine, specifying what insights I have the other people don't because of my experiences (what makes me unique as an applicant)
 
SisterDisco08 said:
I mean...I was told to my face by at least three different AdComs that my essay was well-written, so I don't particularly appreciate the negative assumptions...It's possible to incorporate a relevant story and do it well. I wouldn't be able to answer "why do you want to be a doctor" without talking about the story a talk about. I speak about my inspirations to get into medicine in the beginning, then move into relevant volunteer and research experiences, what I learned from them, and close with comparing old world medicine to modern medicine, specifying what insights I have the other people don't because of my experiences (what makes me unique as an applicant)
Click to expand...

I hate misquoting.... 🙁 I meant to quote someone else entirely :laugh:
 
I think unique is a good thing - but as everyone has already said doing good unique is pretty difficult, and coming off cheesy, random, or gimmicky are very real possibilities.
 
Disclaimer: take this advice with a grain of salt, as I have not yet written my PS.

The goal of your PS is to answer the question, "Why medicine?" in a well developed and thought-out method.

If a particular siuation involving horseback riding helps you answer that question in an effective manner - then yes, include it. But don't fabricate some parallel between your love of collecting garden gnomes and your desire to become a physician, just for the sake of including something unique. Better to have a semi-boring but extremely well written essay than one used as a future, "What NOT to do" example.

Substance over style.
 
There is a big difference between taking about something unrelated to medicine and how it brought you to medicine and using ancheesy flashback of something completely unrelated to medicine and trying to dramatically tie it in for 'uniqueness sake.'

The worst essays I have ever proof read: one started with a line from a robert frost poem that the author 'loved' and kept tying back into it. Lame and cliche. The other had this really long, annoying desciption of doing a particular type of dance and then kept trying to tie back going into medicine, even though it had nothing to do with her pursuit of medicine. Tying it back was more literary than practical.

Both were awful annoying wastes of space. They literally made me want to stop reading the essay. I told both to take it out. Neither listened. Both became reapplicants.
 
I think it's a great idea! Just follow the other advice you've probably gotten in this thread and make sure it relates to the goal of your essay.

I have my own photography business and used a similar example in my essay. I started out with onomatopoeia of a camera shutter (Click!) and went on with a sort of flashback to taking a senior's photo, comparing the technical ability and personal skills a photographer needs to make a good photo with the technical knowledge and personal skills someone needs to be a good physician. It was executed better than it sounds with my description though. :laugh:

Is it corny? Yep. Is it more interesting than the 100s of other essay adcoms slough through? Yep.

Accepted 🙂
 
you can talk about the time you fell off a wild horse you tamed during a mission trip to Africa when you were 17 causing you to break your leg, set it yourself, and walked on your hands 18 miles back to the village where you were helping orphans and curing cancer.
 
LegendaryPunk said:
Disclaimer: take this advice with a grain of salt, as I have not yet written my PS.

The goal of your PS is to answer the question, "Why medicine?" in a well developed and thought-out method.

If a particular siuation involving horseback riding helps you answer that question in an effective manner - then yes, include it. But don't fabricate some parallel between your love of collecting garden gnomes and your desire to become a physician, just for the sake of including something unique. Better to have a semi-boring but extremely well written essay than one used as a future, "What NOT to do" example.

Substance over style.
Click to expand...

Yeah this. In my experience people who are weak writers return to the unfortunate lessons of middle school when you were supposed to catch your readers attention. A clear, concise, well written essay will catch your readers attention more than trite and cliche stories.
 
SisterDisco08 said:
you can talk about the time you fell off a wild horse you tamed during a mission trip to Africa when you were 17 causing you to break your leg, set it yourself, and walked on your hands 18 miles back to the village where you were helping orphans and curing cancer.
Click to expand...


Or use these!

Sample 1
I had been arrested two weeks before for obstructing logging in the Xocaatl tribe’s ancestral hunting grounds and it was hot in that Mexican jail. Damned hot. The kind of heat that sneaks up behind you and throttles you in manner very similar to that employed by my cell-mate Fernando as he fumbled at his belt while hissing dark Spanish threats into my ear. I think he was warning me not to shout out for the guards, something that I would never do as our personal morality should never be forced on others. Then the pain came. I gritted my teeth and forced back the tears. Homophobia is wrong, I told myself…
Click to expand...
 
alwaysaangel said:
Yeah this. In my experience people who are weak writers return to the unfortunate lessons of middle school when you were supposed to catch your readers attention. A clear, concise, well written essay will catch your readers attention more than trite and cliche stories.
Click to expand...

This.
 
Kaustikos said:
My Pre-Allo Sarco Detector wasn't working functionally.... I, uh, put the batteries in backwards 😱
Click to expand...

I don't like repeating my pop culture references too close in succession, but:

[YOUTUBE]ggXmKPMaHMo[/YOUTUBE]
 
we clearly need to donate more to SDN so they can afford a "like" button
 
My personal statement talked about one of my great passions, my creation of art, and I opened with the topic in a very unique way. I tied in one of my relevant artistic activities with my love of science and my interests in medicine.

My personal statement didn't sound contrived or corny, though. I worked very hard to make sure my details were highly relevant and engaging after my opening image. I think about five of my interviewers told me how much they enjoyed and loved reading my personal statement.

It's definitely tricky to keep your subject focused/converging toward medicine - if you don't think you can do a good job, I'd avoid it. But, to all those naysayers, it can be done and done effectively!
 
Regardless of what gimmick/choice you make OP, you will not be the only one that tried that technique.

Trust me on that.
 
Just to clarify, a very big portion of my personal statement was also not about art, but I used my artistic activity to engage the reader and introduce my personality/interests in how they related to medicine. I went on to discuss some clinical events that impacted me (with illustrative examples, not generalizations) and what about them intrigued me.
 
dinosaurs said:
But, to all those naysayers, it can be done and done effectively!
Click to expand...

This goes back to a question asked a few times before about what impact a personal statement has on one's application. The vast majority of statements do not stand out, with a minority of statements at either extreme. The problem is that it's easy to find yourself striving to stand out positively and miss beautifully, landing you in the negative extreme, by trying to be too fancy (for lack of a better phrase).

That you tried and succeeded is a testament to your writing talent, which most applicants will not have. Most advice you'll find here is geared toward those applicants, at least with respect to personal statements.
 
mauberley said:
This goes back to a question asked a few times before about what impact a personal statement has on one's application. The vast majority of statements do not stand out, with a minority of statements at either extreme. It's easy to find yourself striving to stand out positively and miss beautifully, landing you in the negative extreme, by trying to be too fancy (for lack of a better phrase).
Click to expand...

Yeah, exactly. We're not ****ing writers. The point is to just sell yourself as an awesome applicant for medical school, not win a literary prize.


When I see an amazing essay, I know it. And, guess what? It's not filled with literary marvels and awesome attention grabbers 🙂
 
Kaustikos said:
Yeah, exactly. We're not ****ing writers. The point is to just sell yourself as an awesome applicant for medical school, not win a literary prize.


When I see an amazing essay, I know it. And, guess what? It's not filled with literary marvels and awesome attention grabbers 🙂
Click to expand...

I see what you mean. Though, I don't think my personal statement came across as gimmicky. Art is a really big part of my life, and the activity I discussed was relevant. I agree that one must be careful to not cross the line from interesting opening into cliche attention grabber.

I know that medical school is not looking for any literary prize winners, but good writing is a sign of effective communication (of ideas but also of personality/character) and someone who CAN write well shouldn't shy away from it. Also, although the MCAT writing score doesn't seem to be considered a big deal, a couple of my interviewers brought attention to it when discussing my file with me.
 
dinosaurs said:
I see what you mean. Though, I don't think my personal statement came across as gimmicky. Art is a really big part of my life, and the activity I discussed was relevant. I agree that one must be careful to not cross the line from interesting opening into cliche attention grabber.

I know that medical school is not looking for any literary prize winners, but good writing is a sign of effective communication (of ideas but also of personality/character) and someone who CAN write well shouldn't shy away from it. Also, although the MCAT writing score doesn't seem to be considered a big deal, a couple of my interviewers brought attention to it when discussing my file with me.
Click to expand...

Oh, communication is absolutely key. I guess people try too hard, at times, to focus on pulling at the emotional strings of readers. That's the glaring flaw I notice too often.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

I
Personal statement
Replies
2
Views
2K
Rachapkis
Rachapkis
applepie22
  • Locked
Worried I messed up by criticizing a doctor in my personal statement
Replies
32
Views
2K
chilly_md
chilly_md
C17H21NO4
Resigning from clinical job, good or bad idea?
Replies
3
Views
1K
Goro
Goro
yeehaw10
Personal Statement Content
Replies
5
Views
2K
Mr.Smile12
Mr.Smile12
Gene&tonic
personal statement material: good or SOB story
Replies
4
Views
1K
GoSpursGo
GoSpursGo
Top Bottom