unsupportive family

[glitter8386]

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this weekend, I could have been doing homework but I decided to be a “good” family person and travel to attend a function with my family.

What followed just really hurt my feelings and made me mad.

My sister started telling me how awful my hair was (I recently dyed it). Then when I saw my aunt, she didn’t even say hi to me. She just started in on my hair. Later, when this big heavy girl came in, she told the girl hello and told her she looked “really good.” She never complimented me on my hair, she was just like “your HAIR!!!!” (I promise my hair does not look that bad and that I am a normal looking person)

My aunt then started quizzing me about my dental school interviews and talking to me like I was a ten year old. She really started to attack me and make it sound like interviewing well wasn’t something that I was capable of doing. That it’s just soooooooo hard to get into dental school and that I am just in a dream world thinking that I would get in.

I told her that I had really good grades and was really smart so I would probably get in. Since I am undeniably really smart, she tried to make me feel like I was too “socially incompetent” to interview well. She started saying about how they don’t want somebody who giggles and laughs for their dentist. That it doesn’t matter how smart you are, they only care about personality (like implying that I didn’t have a good enough personality to be a dentist).

My mom tried to stand up for me, telling her that my teachers swear up and down that I’ll definitely get into dental school. How my teachers love me and insist that I am the smartest kid they’ve ever seen and how people like me, etc.

However, my aunt would just not stop going on and on and trying to degrade me.

I am interviewing at a dental school in her city next week. I was going to go spend the night with her before, but I don’t think I should do that. I don’t want her to put bad ideas in my head and try to discourage me right before my interviews.

Ughhhhhhhhhh It’s just so annoying and hurtful and I hope nobody else on here has to put up with things like this.


Oh also..then she was saying how I was going to take care of everybody’s teeth in the family. HA! my mother is the only person I’m sending on cool cruises and buying a castle for.

My stats: 4.0, AA 20, TS 21, gchem 22, ochem 22, bio 19, reading 19, math 18, pat 17 + a bajillion extracurricular and volunteer activities and research

 

[klpennin]

Yeah, that is something that you just have to deal with. My mom's cousin's husband who doesn't know much about me (my grades or anything) was telling me that I couldn't get in and that its competitive and blah blah blah.... I just tune it out. Its like I know how hard it is to get in and I've worked my butt off to get this close. Its like the george lopez "you aint $hit ballon", people always trying to tear you down. Don't worry about it, and I'm sure you will do fine. She is probably jealous of you and your accomplishments.

 

[hookem224]

family is ridiculous. Believe me. If you don't feel comfortable staying with your aunt, talk to your mom and see if she can help you out with a hotel at all. Or a better, cheaper option...is this aunt your mother's sister? if so, have your mom talk to her to ensure she doesn't upset you before your interview. I know my mom would do that for me and my aunt would listen to her...just that once, at least.

But yes, family can be your worst enemy at times. I have a very large family on my dad's side and they are mostly all excited for my desire to become a dentist. However, on my mom's side....that's a different story. They think it's a waste of my money and time. They also don't really care to ask me about my application either. I think it's something about being a girl and competing for what my grandma thinks is a "man's profession". (what does that even mean......your guess is as good as mine...)

Sometimes, families just suck...but you have to love them. I know you're probably really upset after this incident, but just know that maybe she's jealous....maybe she wishes she had children have as smart as you...maybe she wishes she was half as smart as you. By the looks of your grades and scores, I would say not to sweat it. You're grades prove to show you're really smart. I'm sure your interviews will be fine..just be confident in yourself!

good luck!

 

[98user]

why do you even take crap from people you don't care about just because they are family. you should have said something to shut your aunt because that is pure disrespect. don't even care what they say, you know yourself better than anyone, and the next time there is a decision between studying and family, please choose studying, it seems to be more fruitful.

 

[DMDreaming]

I know it's tough but you just need to ignore comments like that. My mother-in-law asked me when I was going to "quit wasting all my time and her son's money and give up this crazy dream". You can imagine how I felt at the time. But, I must admit I got a lot of satisfaction when I called her to tell her I got in!

Your stats are stellar and you seem to be very people oriented. You will do fine if you prepare well for your interview and remember to show them who you really are. Good luck and prove the naysayers wrong!

 

[Jessi4eve]

You should not have talked to your aunt about this [I assume you have had other experiences with your aunt's behavior, so you should have known]. Just don't talk about these stuff with these kind of people or relatives, and let them shut their mouths up when you get in dental school [which you finally will]. Distancing yourself from these kind of a**holes will save you a lot of nerves [especially lots of neurotransmitters] for future pressures in dental school. Everyone has a few of these types of relatives in the family [including myself].

 

[heatwheat]

Your stats are great. Don't worry about it. Smile, nod, and get accepted.

 

[cherr1pop]

yea just tell her you'll see her again in 5 years as dr. ____.
one of our professors was sort of ridiculous like that and told everyone who came to his office hours that they can't get into med/dental/pharm school... someone i knew actually went back a year later to tell him she got into her dream school..
so keep up the good work and don't let something stupid like that bother you.. life's too short for that

 

[MolarExpress]

Wow, you're aunts a...umm, monster. lol
Best thing to do..prove every non-believer wrong! Get in to dental school, work hard, graduate, become an amazing dentist, and don't fix their teeth for free. Except of course, your mom. Mom's are awesome and always deserving! lol. You have beyond amazing stats! Good luck!!

 

[glitter8386]

thanks you guys!!! it means a lot because it was so bad, my mom started crying when we left. so it made me start crying and i practically cried half-way home.

on top of everything, i came from a poor home and was abused by my alcoholic father who is the town drunk. not to elevate myself or anything, but i think that if i knew somebody who was able to rise out of that kind of disparity and poverty, i would at least not try to discourage them from their dreams.

also, my aunt said that some boy she knew at the school told her that there are girls who aren't very smart there. which is awful, because i dont know of a single person who hasn't worked extremely hard and dedicated a TON of time and money and effort into becoming a dentist. it's just so awful that people can't appreciate it.

 

[RAK1987]

...go a little easy on the personal history stuff... a lot of ppl have the same story.

 

[SugarNaCl]

People will be happy for you. People will be jealous of you. Some people will share your joy and elation. Some people will tell you that dentistry is a terrible profession. Some people will ask you why you didn't become an MD, some people will tell you dentists are rich, then those same people will tell you dentists are only in it for the money. People will wonder how you can "scrape teeth" all day (as if that is what a dentist does). People will be ignorant and some people won't be.

In the end I try to remember a few things:

1. Many people don't think before they speak.
2. What others think, doesn't matter in your life -- unless you are married to
them (and occasionally not even then).
3. Dentistry is a great profession with great potential
4. We believe that people are actually thinking about us, more than they...in reality... are.

I know you aren't really seeking advice, but I will have to give you my input anyway 😉 Don't hold a grudge. Don't stop talking to your aunt. When you do talk to her, be proud, be confident and laugh off her ignorant comments so she thinks you feel she is joking. That is what I have done when I have met ignorant as opposed to constructive criticism. It shuts people up without you stooping to their level or acting defensive (which shows insecurity.)

PS It may not have even been intentional. You never know what is going through another's mind. Reality is dental school IS hard to get into. Even the best applicants shouldn't count their chickens before they hatch. If something is lacking, and there is a rejection, you won't have set yourself up for disappointment. That said, I'm sure you will do well. Good luck this cycle.

 

[doc toothache]

Maybe it is time to quit "bragging" about ds application. If lack of compliments bothers you it may be time to "immunize" yourself because there is a good chance there will be a paucity of "compliments" in ds.