Unsure of what to do. (UGRD - stuck in the middle)

[Azare]

---

Members do not see this ad.

I had a harsh realization a couple of weeks ago and have been massively depressed, worried, and confused since. I know if I want to have any shot at medical school, DO or MD, I'm going to have to buckle down now and change things because I'm essentially starting from scratch. Or slightly below that.

I'm currently a 2nd-semester sophomore at a public state university (PA), and legitimately have next to nothing (good) in my favor for medical school, but it's an idea I keep coming back to. Starting freshman year, I was Undecided and didn't declare a major until last summer, but my advisor and I had discussed med school in my future as a potential option although psychology was going to be my focus; I didn't really take it seriously.

I have a strong connection to LGBT psychology specifically and want to focus on mental health/health in general for these populations in the US and other cultures where sexual orientation/gender identity develop differently, so I've been taking sexuality courses, German, and psych primarily, and few science courses or pre-reqs.

My freshman year, I took Chem I & II (w/o labs) and earned Cs in both. Withdrew from calc late because I had too many credits scheduled). B in Trig. WD from positive psychology last semester because my grandmother died unexpectedly and it was rough.

With that, and if everything stays on track this last month of school, my GPA will be:
cGPA: 3.74 / sGPA: 3.11

I've been essentially building myself for grad school because that's the only other logical route with a psychology degree, so everything I've done is psych research-related and basically irrelevant:

-I'm finishing my 2nd year in a psychology research lab working with emotion regulation.
-Was a TA for Social psych and will also TA for an intro course next semester.
-Working in an LGBT developmental psych lab (paid) over the summer that will continue into next semester.
-have plans to work with my lab manager to write a thesis and present at a conference or 2 before I graduate.
-minimal shadowing of a general surgeon in HS.

However, when I imagine myself actually in grad school, I'm absolutely miserable. I'm strongly averse to how cookie-cutter doctors are in smaller/suburban areas and the general lack of education on the aforementioned populations, and I feel strongly that I don't want to simply be doing the research on these groups when most doctors will never see it/will ignore it. Be the change you want to see ideology, I suppose. But after taking 2 pre-reqs for Med and doing so poorly, I'm afraid to take more. I'm ashamed that I can't let go of the idea of medical school when I couldn't even do well in basic chemistry, and I'm also afraid that if I keep trying, I'll just make my GPA worse and ruin my chances at both medical school AND grad school since an upward trend is all I'd have to offer. So I have no idea if I should take that chance or complete my degrees in the liberal arts and then try for a post-bacc or some other thing. Then if I do the latter, I'd be better off to/have to stop taking pre-reqs to keep formal post-baccs on the table.

I just hate the idea that if I don't try for medicine like I want, I'll have to live knowing that I let a fear of failure stop me and didn't even make the attempt and that there are things that I can't learn (e.g. Chem), which I don't believe.

Obviously, this is sad considering I'm almost a junior and still feel so undecided. I just feel hopeless, embarrassed, and have a lack of self-confidence. I think that clinical experience may help me, but I've shadowed a family friend/surgeon before and loved what he did, although my past thoughts have always been about psychiatry (given my background) exclusively.

I guess what I'm looking for is advice/comments/plans of action, etc. I know the obvious, like volunteering and clinical experience and I'm working on starting those for the summer. I just don't feel like anything at this point is "enough" to ever be competitive, especially if I made a mistake along the way given my rough start.

Thanks in advance.

 

[deleted823360]

I had a harsh realization a couple of weeks ago and have been massively depressed, worried, and confused since. I know if I want to have any shot at medical school, DO or MD, I'm going to have to buckle down now and change things because I'm essentially starting from scratch. Or slightly below that.

I'm currently a 2nd-semester sophomore at a public state university (PA), and legitimately have next to nothing (good) in my favor for medical school, but it's an idea I keep coming back to. Starting freshman year, I was Undecided and didn't declare a major until last summer, but my advisor and I had discussed med school in my future as a potential option although psychology was going to be my focus; I didn't really take it seriously.

I have a strong connection to LGBT psychology specifically and want to focus on mental health/health in general for these populations in the US and other cultures where sexual orientation/gender identity develop differently, so I've been taking sexuality courses, German, and psych primarily, and few science courses or pre-reqs.

My freshman year, I took Chem I & II (w/o labs) and earned Cs in both. Withdrew from calc late because I had too many credits scheduled). B in Trig. WD from positive psychology last semester because my grandmother died unexpectedly and it was rough.

With that, and if everything stays on track this last month of school, my GPA will be:
cGPA: 3.74 / sGPA: 3.11

I've been essentially building myself for grad school because that's the only other logical route with a psychology degree, so everything I've done is psych research-related and basically irrelevant:

-I'm finishing my 2nd year in a psychology research lab working with emotion regulation.
-Was a TA for Social psych and will also TA for an intro course next semester.
-Working in an LGBT developmental psych lab (paid) over the summer that will continue into next semester.
-have plans to work with my lab manager to write a thesis and present at a conference or 2 before I graduate.
-minimal shadowing of a general surgeon in HS.

However, when I imagine myself actually in grad school, I'm absolutely miserable. I'm strongly averse to how cookie-cutter doctors are in smaller/suburban areas and the general lack of education on the aforementioned populations, and I feel strongly that I don't want to simply be doing the research on these groups when most doctors will never see it/will ignore it. Be the change you want to see ideology, I suppose. But after taking 2 pre-reqs for Med and doing so poorly, I'm afraid to take more. I'm ashamed that I can't let go of the idea of medical school when I couldn't even do well in basic chemistry, and I'm also afraid that if I keep trying, I'll just make my GPA worse and ruin my chances at both medical school AND grad school since an upward trend is all I'd have to offer. So I have no idea if I should take that chance or complete my degrees in the liberal arts and then try for a post-bacc or some other thing. Then if I do the latter, I'd be better off to/have to stop taking pre-reqs to keep formal post-baccs on the table.

I just hate the idea that if I don't try for medicine like I want, I'll have to live knowing that I let a fear of failure stop me and didn't even make the attempt and that there are things that I can't learn (e.g. Chem), which I don't believe.

Obviously, this is sad considering I'm almost a junior and still feel so undecided. I just feel hopeless, embarrassed, and have a lack of self-confidence. I think that clinical experience may help me, but I've shadowed a family friend/surgeon before and loved what he did, although my past thoughts have always been about psychiatry (given my background) exclusively.

I guess what I'm looking for is advice/comments/plans of action, etc. I know the obvious, like volunteering and clinical experience and I'm working on starting those for the summer. I just don't feel like anything at this point is "enough" to ever be competitive, especially if I made a mistake along the way given my rough start.

Thanks in advance.

Hi Azare, I'm not sure if this will make you feel better but I know that so many students have this existential crisis at some point along their undergraduate education and I think you're taking the right steps in introspection + mapping out all the paths available you.

Primarily, I think psychology and psych-research is pretty valuable going into med school. For one, you will have a huge knowledge base for the psychology and sociology section on the MCAT given your social science background. Further, having studied human cognition and behavioral sciences will likely translate well to a medical career!

Secondly, I wouldn't let two grades in general chemistry be the deciding factor for med school vs. not. You were likely in your freshman year, taking a full course load, and also working to acclimating to the college environment. If you retake those courses as part of a post-bacc, med schools would likely not weigh it that much. Also, I know a handful of my peers that made Cs in either gen chem, orgo, or physics sequence but made up for it in their upper level sciences and on the MCAT. They went on to matriculate at fairly reputable MD and DO schools.

At this point, though, I think the most pressing question to ask yourself is whether you see yourself in the healthcare field as a provider (physician or otherwise). I think this is the first step. Then, I would try to seek healthcare experiences (volunteering, more shadowing, or a part time clinical position). If by this fall you really wish to pursue the post-bacc, a lot of apps don't open until April I believe with some programs having deadlines in June so I think you still have some time to decide!

Once you decide you're set on pursuing medicine then I would seriously apply to the post-baccs, ask your professors/advisors for letters of recs (most post-baccs only require 2-3) and although you may need to sit for the GREs (though some programs accept your SATs). I know folks right now in post-baccs that handle about 2 science courses + labs a semester and have enough time to either do per diem EMT/CA work/volunteer, shadow, and/or volunteer (not all of these!). They usually map their post-baccs so that during the semester they sit for the MCAT they are only taking 1 class and again feel this is enough time to devote to MCAT prep. Then they apply!

I think going the post-bacc path will, as long as you're successful, allow you to be a good candidate for medical school. I also know peers who during their post-bacc decided either PA/NP or nursing was a better fit and they were able to transition to that career as well.

I know all of this seems impossible but what I did during my post-grad journey (I was NOT premed in undergrad!) was follow my gut and not worry too much about where I'd been but be more focused on where I am and where I see myself heading!

 

[RNthenDoc]

The best course of action is to decide what heading to steer the ship to!

Psychiatry could be a good fit for you, but you really need to soul-search and decide if medical school is what will make you happy.

I think one should only go to medical school if that is the only path that is satisfying.

If you could be just as happy doing something else, do that other thing. The road to becoming a physician isn’t worth it unless it is NECESSARY, in my opinion.

I’d suggest shadowing a lot in different specialties!

Don’t worry, I don’t think very many undergrads actually know what they want to do with their lives, and MANY of the ones who do don’t end up following through.