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First off, congratulations on your amazing cycle!
I don't think you are crazy about turning Michigan down- in the end giving your situation, support system and your quality of life is what will lead to success in medical school. Going to Michigan will be free, but it will also cause stress as you move away from family support and try to move your SO to Michigan with you; given a one-year preclinical I can imagine this will get difficult. I have been reading a lot about support network importance as I make my medical school decision, and I honestly think how happy you are greatly impacts how well you do in medical school. Having a full COA scholarship doesn't ultimately lead to happiness at the school, although of course for some it does. Further, if you want to match in California, it will be easier to do so if you stay in California for medical school.
Would you be able to send your scholarship offers to UCSF and UCSD and see what it does? I imagine it couldn't hurt.
I don't mean to intrude into your personal business but have you considered holding off on officially tying the knot until graduating med school so that UCSD can't mess with your scholarship?
I would say USC or UCSF.
USC - do you live near LA now? If this would require not moving or not moving far then I would definitely pick this. Having good support and your SO seems like it will be a major factor in your happiness as well as feeling like you are able to be there for your child. Your success will depend on your abilities - not which of these schools you attend.
USCF - many people are going to say this because it is a really great school and people especially on SDN love prestige. I don't think you need to go here for the prestige and you might want to look into their average age on MSAR so you can get an idea of whether there would be other students with families that could be a support system for you. Even if they match the need based aid you still have to reapply each year and I don't think schools are going to be too generous with need based aid once you are married
UMich - yes it's a great school but that will be very difficult for you to uproot your life and frankly it is not worth it. It is not better than UCSF and you can get ob or whatever from the other schools
UCSD - I think you are going to lose that need based scholarship assuming your soon to be spouse has a job and is making money
In that case I will adjust my pick to USC. It's close to where you live - you could still drive your child to see their friends from prior to the move - you'll have your support system - you have a guaranteed scholarship as opposed to hoping that your need based aid doesn't disappear when you get married (which it very likely will).Thanks for this detailed response. I'm pretty equidistant between LA or San Diego, so both would be fairly easy moves. I guess I need to wait for financial aid from UCSF before I can really make this decision. I do feel confident eliminating Michigan at this point. It's hard to do, but it would be a very stressful move.
A bit of an update. I received the financial aid information for UCSF.
Total cost for USCF: $115-120K (if need-based aid doesn't change significantly from year-to-year)
USC: $50-60K
Is UCSF worth the extra cost? I'm having a really hard time making this decision.
Does anyone have any experience getting married when on financial aid? I was under the impression that your SO's income didn't count unless you're married. But that once you are married it counts and could definitely decrease your award. I think you could also call UCSF and say how do you think my award will likely change when I marry my SO who makes x thousand dollars a year
The current cost difference isnt too big but I really do believe once you get married that financial aid is going to decrease significantly