Usmle-induced depression

[doctakay]

Hello, i am currently preparing for step 1 n would ideally like to take it before November and before 2017 at the latest. I feel comfortable with the immuno,micro,biochem etc n currently trying to hammer home the organ systems. My biggest weakness is motivation. Ive been studying for a year now but im not consistent due to lack of motivation/USMLE-induced depression. Maybe its just anxiety and my NE is all over the place..idk..but instead of benzos/barbs i am seeking any innocent, kind person/soul/ or altruistic person who is willing to text/call/skype with me 1-3 times a week to boost my motivation and help keep me in check. I feel everytime i get close, i lose hope have a hypomanic episode n give up. First NBME 11 was 166. 5 months later NBME 15 is only 205. I wanna be at 230+. Ive done UWORLD maybe 4 times, first aid maybe 3-4 times, kaplan qbank 3times, usmle rx once, pathoma twice, and Golijin once over that year period.I feel lazy with no motivation or selfconfidence that i can do it. I feel really low, slow n ******ed.

If your interested for whatever bipolar reason,I have plenty of mnemonics and easy ways to remember things if your having trouble with specific subjects/material. Plz dont be intellectually disabled and reply in an lesch nyhan way.

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[Ven0m]

Why are you depressed?

 

[doctakay]

Why are you depressed?

Because ive been studying for a year and I'm not improving much. Im only at 205 with NBME 15. So im having a hard time being consistent with studying cuz of lack of motivation. So its just this vicious cycle

 

[Ven0m]

Because ive been studying for a year and I'm not improving much. Im only at 205 with NBME 15. So im having a hard time being consistent with studying cuz of lack of motivation. So its just this vicious cycle

Then your solution isn't to find direct motivation, because the problem lies in your study methods. You must directly focus on improving your study methods, and the motivation will come once you see yourself making progress.

Idk if this is the case but if you use mnenonics for everything without understanding the mechanisms behind each then its gonna be really hard because you're essentially just memorizing random assortments of letters and words without having a comprehensive understanding of it which is what the USMLE basically is

 

[doctakay]

Thanks alot. I will take ur advice to heart and attempt to fix this problem. Sometimes i think the social support helps alot. I hope you will be part of my success=)

Then your solution isn't to find direct motivation, because the problem lies in your study methods. You must directly focus on improving your study methods, and the motivation will come once you see yourself making progress.

Idk if this is the case but if you use mnenonics for everything without understanding the mechanisms behind each then its gonna be really hard because you're essentially just memorizing random assortments of letters and words without having a comprehensive understanding of it which is what the USMLE basically is

 

[Ven0m]

Thanks alot. I will take ur advice to heart and attempt to fix this problem. Sometimes i think the social support helps alot. I hope you will be part of my success=)

Remember to not be so eager to do Q banks before you are COMPLETELY confident that you can do them, otherwise you waste them. And remember that it's not about the pages that you cover, its about the grasp of understanding. If there's any thing that you don't understand, then take the time to understand it. Not only will it make you remember the whole thing a lot easier, but it puts everything together as a big picture which really freakin helps when it comes to USMLE style questions. Remember that step 1 is like the hardest part of learning medicine and if you can pass it or even ace it, (which EVERYONE has the capability to do, human brains are so freaking powerful and have so much potential, just gotta take the time to learn how to unlock the potential), then you will be basically ready to walk around the hospitals and know what to do as a resident.

Remember that everyone feels this way at some point or another but we all get through it. There's a good and bad side to everything. Bad feelings have a good side because they make you realize that you don't like this situation and that gives you a reason to fix it, to get out of the feeling and make you successful.

Screw all the nonbelievers even if there's a voice inside telling yourself that you're not good enough. Prove them wrong dude!!! but remember to find ways to get a AWESOME grasp on your material!! there are so many resources on the net nowadays to guide you


I recommend reading these through
http://www.usmle-forums.com/usmle-s.../786-usmle-step-1-preparation-books-plan.html
https://www.yousmle.com/first-aid-for-the-usmle-step-1-worst-mistake/

remember that while you're studying usmle there are thousands and thousands of other students in the world all studying the same things you are (including me and ALL of my US-bound friends). and probably feeling like wtf is going on so remember you're not alone

 

[doctakay]

took NBME 16 few weeks ago, and yet again still got 205. Omg..is this hell ever going to get better.. I was so confident this time!!! so so so so confident i was going to get at least 220s... unbelievable. Not even a slight improvement...i keep telling myself oh it is improving cuz NBME 16 is defin harder then NBME 15.. but to get the same score a bit over a month later.. what a complete and total waste. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 

[Brorthopedic]

took NBME 16 few weeks ago, and yet again still got 205. Omg..is this hell ever going to get better.. I was so confident this time!!! so so so so confident i was going to get at least 220s... unbelievable. Not even a slight improvement...i keep telling myself oh it is improving cuz NBME 16 is defin harder then NBME 15.. but to get the same score a bit over a month later.. what a complete and total waste. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Are you reviewing the questions you got wrong? If so, what seems to be the recurring problem when you pick the wrong answers?

 

[doctakay]

Well i reviewed everything offline...i think and i really hope im right, but i think i just need to spend more time reading the explainations. I basically finished reading an organ system in FA then would fly over the questions offline of uworld ie maybe spend 2 hours going over all neuro questions( embryo,anatomy,physio,path,pharm) so now what im doing is taking my time going over the offline questions and explainations. Then im going to try and read every organ system and supplement it with the corresponding golijan AND pathoma..not sure about having enough time to do pathoma and golijan again but if i do..and i still dont improve im going on benzos for few years and just gona yolo it and join the uber family =X

 

[Brorthopedic]

Well i reviewed everything offline...i think and i really hope im right, but i think i just need to spend more time reading the explainations. I basically finished reading an organ system in FA then would fly over the questions offline of uworld ie maybe spend 2 hours going over all neuro questions( embryo,anatomy,physio,path,pharm) so now what im doing is taking my time going over the offline questions and explainations. Then im going to try and read every organ system and supplement it with the corresponding golijan AND pathoma..not sure about having enough time to do pathoma and golijan again but if i do..and i still dont improve im going on benzos for few years and just gona yolo it and join the uber family =X

At least you still have your sense of humor, just keep your head up.

It's important to realize that just doing questions isn't where the learning comes from. The real gold is in those explanations. Spending less than 5 minutes reviewing a question you got wrong is honestly not enough. You need to 1) ask yourself why you got it wrong 2) go back to the fundamentals and relearn the disease/drug/etc and 3) ask yourself afterwards how can they test this concept from a different angle?

It's not about the quantity of the studying you do, it's about the quality.

 

[doctakay]

At least you still have your sense of humor, just keep your head up.

It's important to realize that just doing questions isn't where the learning comes from. The real gold is in those explanations. Spending less than 5 minutes reviewing a question you got wrong is honestly not enough. You need to 1) ask yourself why you got it wrong 2) go back to the fundamentals and relearn the disease/drug/etc and 3) ask yourself afterwards how can they test this concept from a different angle?

It's not about the quantity of the studying you do, it's about the quality.

Thank you for your response man. It may not mean much to you to write such a reaponse and attempt to help a random person, but its definitely motivating reading these replies and responses. You guys truly are doctors already, and definitely doctors of the future. I will take your advice and hopefully see where it takes me. You said its quality not quantity of studying that matters most. For someone like me who is a slow reader, how do you balance quality and quantity when you have deadlines to reach? Whats a reasonable amount of time to spend on reviewing a block of uworld? Is 4 hours per 1 block insane? Would that be taking way too long if im reading every wrong and right explanation? I hear some people do it in a freaking hour or less and it drives me crazy.

 

[Brorthopedic]

Thank you for your response man. It may not mean much to you to write such a reaponse and attempt to help a random person, but its definitely motivating reading these replies and responses. You guys truly are doctors already, and definitely doctors of the future. I will take your advice and hopefully see where it takes me. You said its quality not quantity of studying that matters most. For someone like me who is a slow reader, how do you balance quality and quantity when you have deadlines to reach? Whats a reasonable amount of time to spend on reviewing a block of uworld? Is 4 hours per 1 block insane? Would that be taking way too long if im reading every wrong and right explanation? I hear some people do it in a freaking hour or less and it drives me crazy.

If people are reviewing a block in under an hour, they honestly are not getting enough out of it. Unless of course that person is a genius that has ridiculous photographic memory. For the majority of us, it takes time. I've seen people on here that have scored 250s+ who spent an entire day doing and reviewing one 44Q block. Again, it's about quality not quantity.

This is especially true in your case considering that you've said "Ive done UWORLD maybe 4 times, first aid maybe 3-4 times, kaplan qbank 3times, usmle rx once, pathoma twice, and Golijin once over that year period." Obviously, the quantity of material you're completing has not been very helpful. You need to change it up, because the definition of insanity is repeating the same thing over and over again and expecting the same results. My suggestion is take your time, whatever the amount you need, to truly understand the explanations. Sure, you'll feel that you're going really slow, but you're laying a solid foundation down.

Here's a quote by Will Smith that I feel you can really learn from: "You don't set out to build a wall. You don't say 'I'm going to build the biggest, baddest, greatest wall that's ever been built.' You don't start there. You say, 'I'm going to lay this brick as perfectly as a brick can be laid. You do that every single day. And soon you have a wall." Take each block of questions with that mindset, with each block representing a brick. Also, listen to motivational videos on YouTube. Nobody is going to understand what you're going through, not your friends or your family, so you need someone, something, to motivate you everyday. Here are some of my favorites:

 

[doctakay]

If people are reviewing a block in under an hour, they honestly are not getting enough out of it. Unless of course that person is a genius that has ridiculous photographic memory. For the majority of us, it takes time. I've seen people on here that have scored 250s+ who spent an entire day doing and reviewing one 44Q block. Again, it's about quality not quantity.

This is especially true in your case considering that you've said "Ive done UWORLD maybe 4 times, first aid maybe 3-4 times, kaplan qbank 3times, usmle rx once, pathoma twice, and Golijin once over that year period." Obviously, the quantity of material you're completing has not been very helpful. You need to change it up, because the definition of insanity is repeating the same thing over and over again and expecting the same results. My suggestion is take your time, whatever the amount you need, to truly understand the explanations. Sure, you'll feel that you're going really slow, but you're laying a solid foundation down.

Here's a quote by Will Smith that I feel you can really learn from: "You don't set out to build a wall. You don't say 'I'm going to build the biggest, baddest, greatest wall that's ever been built.' You don't start there. You say, 'I'm going to lay this brick as perfectly as a brick can be laid. You do that every single day. And soon you have a wall." Take each block of questions with that mindset, with each block representing a brick. Also, listen to motivational videos on YouTube. Nobody is going to understand what you're going through, not your friends or your family, so you need someone, something, to motivate you everyday. Here are some of my favorites:

Thanks for the adrenalin rush Dr Anonymous, you da man =]

 

[Reperfused]

Just to share my experience of doing Uworld. I'm doing Uworld for the first time, online (done only 10% so far), and it takes me anywhere between 15 to 30 mins to review 1 question, including reading ALL the explanations, understanding the diagrams, and taking notes in my first aid (depending upon whether it's a repeated concept or a totally new one). I'm also a slow reader/learner. But I believe in getting the most out of it in one pass instead of having to go through it a trillion times and end up not understanding a thing.

 

[doctakay]

Just to share my experience of doing Uworld. I'm doing Uworld for the first time, online (done only 10% so far), and it takes me anywhere between 15 to 30 mins to review 1 question, including reading ALL the explanations, understanding the diagrams, and taking notes in my first aid (depending upon whether it's a repeated concept or a totally new one). I'm also a slow reader/learner. But I believe in getting the most out of it in one pass instead of having to go through it a trillion times and end up not understanding a thing.

Oh how i wish i did that my first time.. o definitely wouldn't be where i am today. Although i dont think spending that much for your first time is crazy...it is good to know that there are others who identify themselves as slow readers as well..as im going through uworld now, i know the answer and i know why the wrong answers are wrong, im just wanting to read every word and integrate everything in doing so