I'm waitlisted this year in exactly the same manner as last year at schools that weed out well before they send out interview invites. My family talks about this as thoroughly as is appropriate for the age of the person in the convo - we have two daughters, one 14, one 6.
This was a scenario my family and I talked about to the best of the girls' understandings. They understand that we may be looking at a situation where we move weirdly, in pieces and parts, where I would be at school while they were here and their dad looked for a job where I will be, etc., and that it doesn't mean that their dad and I are angry with each other or divorcing or any other bad thing. We make clear that people might say that, but they are wrong and they should come to us if they hear something like that both for reassurance and to correct whoever has this in their head. They understand that we might move on rather short notice and we're trying to make that easier to do.
My husband and I talk a LOT and this is one of the things we've discussed, you bet. We are both types who prefer to be able to plan. We both agree that a two-home situation would stink out loud but we also address it. We try to plan for that as best we can, we have worked to predict situations and to handle those, and we hope and pray it doesn't go down that way, but also understand that sometimes life plays out in this manner. We've discussed this as well with the applicable family members and very specifically made sure that they understand that we are not interested in divorcing or separating, and that we wouldn't take well discussion that it is.
The waitlist Limbo doesn't really allow for much except talking it out and making rough plans A, B, and C.
