Want A Laugh?

[freshbeatschris]

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In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name.
> For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of
> Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also call
> Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.
>
>
> The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful
> consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that
> it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were
> Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.
>
>
> Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid
> form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for
> use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour
> himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink,
> and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and just
> a good old-fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will market the new concoction
> by the name of: MOUNT & DO.
>
>
> Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants
> and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040,
> there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge
> erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

 

[Ijeoma]

In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name.
> For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of
> Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also call
> Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.
>
>
> The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful
> consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that
> it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were
> Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.
>
>
> Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid
> form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for
> use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour
> himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink,
> and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and just
> a good old-fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will market the new concoction
> by the name of: MOUNT & DO.
>
>
> Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants
> and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040,
> there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge
> erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

Excellent dude! took a while for the second paragraph to sink in, but when it did, all icud think of was Ibepokin....Mount & do...how funny!

 

[soul21]

 

[freshbeatschris]

Wow. Either no one gets the joke, or this is just not the right kind of humor for this forum. I thought this was hysterical.

 

[RachGator]

I loved it and passed it on to my friends : )!

 

[gatorgrl]

Freshbeatschris,
That was awesome and I definitely needed a good laugh.

Thanks for the joke.

 

[Shakeitfast]

Wow. Either no one gets the joke, or this is just not the right kind of humor for this forum. I thought this was hysterical.

http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=292971 Still funny the second time tho 😀

 

[freshbeatschris]

http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=292971 Still funny the second time tho 😀

Woops! 😳 I missed that when it posted.

My bad...

 

[Serenity Now!!!]

Woops! 😳 I missed that when it posted.

My bad...

Heres another one...I know its NOT Pharm related but what the hell... 😀

TURNER BROWN:


A skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up
and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him.
The big guy sees the little guy staring at him so he looks down
and says:"7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch private, 3 pound left
testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown."

The little white fellow promptly faints and falls to the
floor.The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. The
big guy says, "What's wrong with you?"
In a weak voice the little guys says," What EXACTLY did you
say to me?"
The big dude says, "I saw your curious look and figured I'd
just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me.
I'm 7Feet tall,
I weigh 350 pounds,! I have a 20 inch private, my left testicle
Weighs 3 pounds, my right testicle weighs 3 pounds, and my name is
Turner Brown."

The small guy says, "Turner Brown?...Sweet Jesus, I thought
you said, Turn Around"

 

[endotoxin]

> Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants
> and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040,
> there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge
> erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

I wouldn't be suprised if this is true about research money, but dang, that's just a halrious way to look at it - LOL

 

[beccala33]

Heres another one...I know its NOT Pharm related but what the hell... 😀

TURNER BROWN:


A skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up
and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him.
The big guy sees the little guy staring at him so he looks down
and says:"7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch private, 3 pound left
testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown."

The little white fellow promptly faints and falls to the
floor.The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. The
big guy says, "What's wrong with you?"
In a weak voice the little guys says," What EXACTLY did you
say to me?"
The big dude says, "I saw your curious look and figured I'd
just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me.
I'm 7Feet tall,
I weigh 350 pounds,! I have a 20 inch private, my left testicle
Weighs 3 pounds, my right testicle weighs 3 pounds, and my name is
Turner Brown."

The small guy says, "Turner Brown?...Sweet Jesus, I thought
you said, Turn Around"

HAHAHAHA!!!!

 

[Serenity Now!!!]

New Drugs For Women



D A M N I T OL
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

ST. M O M M A'S W O R T
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.

E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.

P E P T O B I M B O
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.

D U M B E R O L
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.

F L I P I T O R
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

B U Y A G R A
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.

J A C K A S S P I R I N
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.

A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.


N A G A M E N T
When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provid es the same irritation level as nagging him.

 

[FluoroQuinolone]

An elderly lady was pulled over by a policeman for over-speeding. The police
man approached the driver's door.


"Is there a problem Officer?"


He said, "Madame, you were speeding. Can I see your license please?"
She responded, "I'd give it to you but I don't have one."
"You don't have one?"
"I lost it four times for drunk driving."
The policeman was shocked. "I see. Can I see your vehicle registration
papers please?"
"I'm sorry, I can't do that."
"Why not?"
"I stole this car."

The officer said, "Stole it?"
She said, "Yes, and I killed the owner."


At this point the officer got worried. "You what!?"
"He's in the trunk if you want to see."


The officer looked at her and slowly backed away to his car and called for
back up. Within minutes, five police cars showed up, surrounding the car.
A senior officer slowly approached the car, clasping his half drawn
gun.....


The senior officer asked "Madame, could you step out of your vehicle
please!"
The lady stepped out and said, "Is there a problem, officer?"


"One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the
owner."


"Murdered the owner?"


The officer responded, "Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car
please?"


She opened the trunk, revealing nothing.


The officer said, "Is this your car Madame?"
She replied, "Yes," and handed over the registration papers to him.


The officer, understandably, was quite stunned. "One of my officers claims
that you do not have a driving license."


The lady dug in her purse revealing a license-card and handed it to the
officer. The officer examined the license. He looked quite puzzled.


"Thank you Madame.......one of my officers told me you didn't have a
license, stole this car, and murdered the owner."


The lady replied, "I bet the liar told you I was speeding, too!"

 

[Apothecary]

LMAO!!
...woo! *catches breath*...Thats awsome.

 

[Serenity Now!!!]

A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spent $15,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home, she stops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 32," is the reply. "Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman says happily. A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the very same question. The girl replies, "I'd guess about 29." The woman replies with a big smile, "Nope, I'm 50." Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store on her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk this burning question. The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30." Again she proudly responds, "I'm 50, but thank you!" While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question. He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young, there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands underyour bra. Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are." They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets thebestof her. She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead." He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other. After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "Okay, okay...How old am I?" He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, andsays, "Madam, you are 50." Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible, how could you tell?" The old man says, "Promise you won't get mad?" "I promise I won't." she says. "I was behind you in line at McDonald's."

 

[Serenity Now!!!]

My sense of humor must be warped bacause I find this very funny...

A young wife, who was becoming frustrated with her you husband'constant demands for sex, decides to make a schedule for him, to cut down on the amount of times that they will have to make love for the rest of their marriage.


While getting ready for work, she writes on a piece of paper,"Honey, you know I love you, but your never ending requests fo sex are leaving me drained and really tired. So I propose that we only have sex on days that start with the letter 'T', to minimize the frequency of our lovemaking sessions. Don't be mad at me honey, just understand where I am coming from, and let me know if my request is too demanding ofyou."

On her way out the door, she uses a refrigerator magnet and sticks the note to the fridge door, hoping that her sex craved husband will be understanding and accepting of her proposal when he reads it. Upon returning home, she glances at the refrigerator and notices that her note has been replaced with a note from her husband that reads, "Baby, I didn't realize that I was putting you under so much pressure and I'm sorry. I accept your proposal and have even taken the extra step of listing at the bottom of this letter, those days starting with the letter 'T' to make sure that we are on the same page.

1. TUESDAY
2. THURSDAY
3. TODAY
4. TOMORROW
5. TATURDAY
6. TUNDAY

7.EVERY TUCKING DAY

P.S. I love you too, and it's still TODAY, I'm waiting for you upstairs."

 

[bugslife]

hahaha.

 

[Serenity Now!!!]

Company Policy Changes
=======================

The following policy changes will go into effect immediately.


Dress Code:
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your
salary.

If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we
assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need
a raise.

If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money
better so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do
not need a raise.

If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and
therefore you do not need raise.


Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of
sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to
come to work.


Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year.
They are called Saturday & Sunday.


Toilet Use:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet.
There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls.
At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet
paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture
will be taken.

After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the
company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders category."

Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under
the company's mental health policy.


We are here to provide a positive employment experience.
Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations,
allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation
or input should be directed elsewhere.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company.

 

[sdn1977]

Company Policy Changes
=======================

The following policy changes will go into effect immediately.


Dress Code:
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your
salary.

If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we
assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need
a raise.

If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money
better so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do
not need a raise.

If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and
therefore you do not need raise.


Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of
sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to
come to work.


Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year.
They are called Saturday & Sunday.


Toilet Use:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet.
There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls.
At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet
paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture
will be taken.

After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the
company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders category."

Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under
the company's mental health policy.


We are here to provide a positive employment experience.
Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations,
allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation
or input should be directed elsewhere.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company.

I think I used to work for that company 🙁 !

 

[RachGator]

Keep 'em coming all. I need a good laugh 🙂. Moving sucks!

 

[DuocSi2010]

hahhahahaha the Company Policy Changes one was hilarious 😀