Wedding advice from current students...

[missmarymac8]

So here we go....I'll send you a check if you are sweet enough to read all this and give real advice:

I only hate my good friend a little bit for getting married in Tennessee in September about a month into my start as an OMS I. I hate her a little more for her wanting to have her bachelorette party a week before the ceremony...in Tennessee. Ok, I don't hate her at all, I love her, and I'm her maid of honor, but it's proving to be a challenge considering the miles between us. I will be studying at KCUMB, which is a little more than a brief drive to Music City. Her choice of party time means I'll be needing to take two flights in successive weekends. I don't mind the cost....I've got some frequent flier miles and some pretty cool parents to help; however, I am nervous about not leaving too much time on these two weekends to study. Here's the big kicker, the Monday after the wedding I have a section quiz...non-cumulative, not a serious as a section final, but nevertheless a significant part of my grade.

My question is not whether or not I should go to either event....as MoH, I think I nearly have to, and I want to be there for both memories with the blushing bride. But I am curious as to advice on how I should time the first weekend flight. Would you, as a current student, advise:

1) Study well after class Friday. After a long night of "bacheloretting" Saturday, getting up early Sunday and getting back into KC to study....probably needing to do so after a little nap.

2) Study well after class Friday. Sleep in Sunday after the Saturday bachelorette party and study during a lengthy layover...arriving in KC at about 10, studying a little more.

I'm honestly more worried about the first weekend than the second. (The bride is not planning on having a blowout for the wedding reception and I could get back to KC that evening, having all Sunday to study for the quiz). I am also planning on beefing up during the week for those two weeks to put less pressure on myself for weekend studying. Is option (1) better than (2).....am I stessing out way too much trying to book a flight? Any current medical student advice is well appreciated....especially from people who've had to travel mid-semester. Thanks in advance!

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[TexasTriathlete]

Is she hot? Fly me out there, and I'll make sure this wedding never happens.

 

[TehDoc]

Is she hot? Fly me out there, and I'll make sure this wedding never happens.

Kitchen knife?

 

[Thantis]

Nah...he will just use 'Lightning Bolt' on her.

 

[EEL08]

Definitely definitely be there for the wedding. I know it would be nice for you to go to the bachelorette party but I definitely don't think it's necessary. I would skip that weekend if I were you unless you think you can squeeze in a lot of studying somehow. I'm sure she would understand. Of course I'm not in med school yet so take my opinion for what it's worth.

 

[missmarymac8]

Geez....TT. She's pretty. and has been dating the guy since high school....you'd have to kill the groom....but I wouldn't. if ga-pcom found out, i'm not sure that it would well be looked upon.

Hey eel thanks for advice, my mom said the same thing. It's just that I'm the maid of honor, and arrived in that capacity because the original maid of honor dropped out of the family. i didn't want to reject the position, but I don't want to be a crappy MoH. I'm planning the whole thing right now....and really hoping my accountant bride doesn't read SDN.

 

[EEL08]

Geez....TT. She's pretty. and has been dating the guy since high school....you'd have to kill the groom....but I wouldn't. if ga-pcom found out, i'm not sure that it would well be looked upon.

Hey eel thanks for advice, my mom said the same thing. It's just that I'm the maid of honor, and arrived in that capacity because the original maid of honor dropped out of the family. i didn't want to reject the position, but I don't want to be a crappy MoH. I'm planning the whole thing right now....and really hoping my accountant bride doesn't read SDN.

I don't think not going to the bachelorette party makes you a crappy MOH. It means you are balancing your life with school. You are after all planning the whole thing so that counts for something. I don't know much about KCUMB or how well you study/learn so it could be completely doable to go to both. If you decide not to go though maybe you could have an awesome collection of gifts sent to her so she couldn't be mad at you even if she wanted to.

 

[KateGia]

Geez....TT. She's pretty. and has been dating the guy since high school....you'd have to kill the groom....but I wouldn't. if ga-pcom found out, i'm not sure that it would well be looked upon.

Hey eel thanks for advice, my mom said the same thing. It's just that I'm the maid of honor, and arrived in that capacity because the original maid of honor dropped out of the family. i didn't want to reject the position, but I don't want to be a crappy MoH. I'm planning the whole thing right now....and really hoping my accountant bride doesn't read SDN.

Since when does the bride get to pick when her bachelorette party is? Where I come from, the bachelorette is thrown by the MoH, and the bride has nothing to do with the planning. Definitely go to the wedding. Study your butt off before that weekend so you can really enjoy it. You'll be fine. For the party... tell her "look, I'm your MoH. If you want me to be there, you can't do it the week before. Otherwise, I'm just not going to be able to make it." If she's a good friend, she'll understand how important medical school is, and she'll get that you just can't fly there 2 weekends in a row. Or, tell her that if you go to the bachelorette, you're going to have to bring study materials while you're standing next to hear on the alter.

 

[ShyRem]

Hm. I don't go to KCUMB so I don't know what your quizzes are on. However, I do have a family which pretty much sucks up study time like a black hole.

I think the biggest unknown here is how much will you need to study? Myself, if I could afford to fly out for two weekends, I would. I'd study more during the week so I could take the weekend off and then just do a light review on Sunday evening. But I'm not you. Some folks need to study literally 1-2 hours outside of class for every hour they're in class. Some folks only need 30 minutes for every hour. So as you can see, there's a huge discrepancy here in terms of "how much time do you need to study???" Unfortunately, that's a question you won't be able to answer until you get into med school. It's really a different animal and everyone handles it differently.

I wish I had a crystal ball for you. I'd go for both weekends, enjoy the heck out of them both, and review Sunday night. And since I'm not a morning person, I'd definitely choose sleep in, study during layover (bring earplugs), and review that night at home.

 

[missmarymac8]

Posted via Mobile Device thanks you guys. I want to go on and book a flight, but perhaps I should wait to see if I can make both weekends. Honestly even during undergrad I didn't study as much as I should on weekends. Hopefully I can get away with it for just two weekends in med school. Here' to hoping.

 

[CandiDO]

Hi! Although I have not yet started medical school, I was in a similar situation as yours when I was in my undergrad. My best friend decided to get married during my week of hell (3 tests, followed by another 2 tests early in the week after). I was the maid of honor, and she wanted to have the bachelorette party the weekend before her wedding. The wedding (and the bride) were in AZ and I was in CO. I explained to her my situation, and then I decided to do several things. First of all, I planned a mini bachelorette event for the night of her shower (when I would already be in town). This was about a month and a half before her wedding. I arranged for one of the bridesmaids to throw her main bachelorette party the weekend before, and then to make up for not being there, I flew in early the day before her wedding and we went and got massages, drank champagne, and had a girls night with a few other girls in the wedding party. She understood my situation and appreciated my effort to make up for not being at the bachelorette party the weekend before. Of course, as everyone else has been saying, it depends on how much you need to study and how much going to the bachelorette party would make your stress levels rise. If you are going to be feeling guilty that you aren't studying while you are at the bachelorette party, then I don't think it would be worth it to go. But thats just my opinion. Good luck!

 

[spicedmanna]

The section quizzes cover class material just since the last quiz. The aren't point-heavy usually, but shouldn't be neglected either, since sometimes, your grade for the section could depend on those few points you missed on that quiz. I know mine has. There are a few times where the next half grade was only a few points away. Anyway, I definitely don't sweat the section quizzes as much as the the section final (and midterm, for cardiopulm), which is worth the most points.

As ShyRem said, what you can afford time-wise depends highly on your own study habits/style, so it's hard for me to say whether you should go or not. Usually, many students find the first section, FOM, to be difficult because the material is pretty scattered all over the place and it is the first section of medical school, so you don't have your study groove all set up yet (you are still figuring things out). Medical school is whole different beast than undergrad. You are going to get dumped with an overflow of material and many people feel continuously behind (even when they are not) and you are never prepared enough (even though you are). In medical school you are learning to play a game that is going to follow you for the rest of your career. There's always too much to do and you have to make a decision on how to balance work and your personal life. It's up to you how you negotiate it.

I would say this: I would play a conservative game until you get your studying groove down and know how to navigate the system a bit. If this party is something that you think you absolutely must attend, then go, but cautiously. Make sure that you are completely on top of things before you take that time off. Make sure that you are as prepared as you can be. If you feel that attending is going to compromise your quiz, then don't go. However, if you feel fine, then don't study while you are there, because half-hearted studying doesn't work; it just eats up the time you could be having fun. Study during the off-times and while you are travelling. You can save yourself to time by realizing that the quizzes and finals are based primarily from your notes, so you will want to study from them. Use board review books as a supplement to help you understand the concepts, if you need more information.

It is possible to take that time off and still do well on the quiz. I've done it. It's definitely easier when you are already on top of things in the section.

 

[anon y mous]

Geez....TT. She's pretty. and has been dating the guy since high school....you'd have to kill the groom....but I wouldn't. if ga-pcom found out, i'm not sure that it would well be looked upon.

Hey eel thanks for advice, my mom said the same thing. It's just that I'm the maid of honor, and arrived in that capacity because the original maid of honor dropped out of the family. i didn't want to reject the position, but I don't want to be a crappy MoH. I'm planning the whole thing right now....and really hoping my accountant bride doesn't read SDN.

If you're planning it, why don't you plan it for when it's convenient for you? How about before you leave for med school????

 

[missmarymac8]

If you're planning it, why don't you plan it for when it's convenient for you? How about before you leave for med school????

To this I can only say that the bride has invisioned a bachelorette party more near the wedding; plus there's a bridal luncheon that everyone was going to be asked to come to that same day. It was just convenient to have two events that day. Even if I planned the thing for before I left, I would still be missing one event....and rather than miss it, I have thought that it might be good to just make the travel more worth it (I wouldn't go for just the party, but the luncheon is then, too, sooooo...)

Thanks everyone for your advice. I was surprised to find someone with a case so similar, CandiDO! I still haven't made up my mind yet....but your (and everyone's) input helps me weigh benefits and consequences.

Another question for current students: honestly, on the weekends that aren't directly before a quiz/exam....how much do you typically study during the day or night? I mean I really can't see myself studying more than five hours a day on a weekend....I'm probably getting way ahead of myself to say that, but I just never have put that much study time into a single day unless it were closely nearing a test.

 

[Kateb4]

I arranged for one of the bridesmaids to throw her main bachelorette party the weekend before, and then to make up for not being there, I flew in early the day before her wedding and we went and got massages, drank champagne, and had a girls night with a few other girls in the wedding party.

I think that this is a great idea! I was MoH for a friends wedding when I was about 8.9 months pregnant, so I had one of the other bridesmaids take care of the bachelorette party (I went for the dinner then left the pub crawl to them). If I were you I wouldn't want to be flying in on two consecutive weekends, but I understand that you want to be there. If you're using miles, just wait until school starts so you can see what your actual study time will need to be before committing it to someone else for two weekends.