Goodluck man. Hope things work out.
Thank you. Right now, it's one day at a time.
I'm so so sorry you have to go through that. My dad passed when I was in undergrad. It sucked. Please make sure to take as much time as you need now or over the summer. It is perfectly acceptable for you to put your studies on hold. You are not obligated to overcome anything in a measurable time frame. I wish someone had told me that.
As a morbid funny, the last thing I said to my dad was, "I made tacos." Still makes me laugh.
)
Thanks. It takes time, trust me. You have to experience the grief or it will come back for you in other places (like in relationships, or your schooling). I made the mistake of going into a prolonged and nasty denial and that, bottled up, can poison aspects of your life.
The tacos were most excellent if I do say so myself. Also, you're very welcome to PM me if you ever need a listening randomstrangerontheinternet.
Thank you, Jennet. Your words resonate with me right now and I will do my best to remember them as, right now, the only thing I want to do is forget this happened and repress everything that I am being hit with emotionally. I have to try not to.
I'm on a week-long LOA and, as my school breaks for a week next week, it will really be two weeks. After that, I'm going to head back and push forward. I am one of those people who cope by doing. I need to feel as if I am contributing something and being productive, or else I will end up climbing up the walls.
To the bolded: Thank you. I needed to hear that.
My heart is with you. I've missed the passed week of classes. My mom is my world, but her cancer keeps spreading and sending clots to her lungs. She just got out of the hospital for the second time and started chemo. I spend so much of my energy making sure she doesn't see me cry... I am terrified to lose her.
And my heart is with you.
From what I have read from your previous posts, we have a very similar relationship with our Moms. I know that love that seems to be indescribable by the English language and the terror that stems from the thought of losing it (for us, it was unmanaged asthma, unmanageable because the co-pay on her inhaler was 70$, and the numerous scares that gave us).
Looking back over the past few years, if there is one bit of advice that I can in part in caring for an ill parent, is that you need to take care of yourself. Find someone -- a friend, a therapist, a professor you are close with, etc -- who you can cry to; do something for yourself every once in awhile -- such as eating a piece of chocolate, taking a walk, eating dinner with a friend, etc -- even during times where you don't feel you can or should; and etc.
If you need me, even in the midst of my own chaos, I'm here if you -- or anyone -- needs me.
I did call that after I read your post (12 hour time difference between me and my mom). I honestly don't know what I would do in your situation. That has to be one of the worst situations, especially since it is so unexpected. I am certain your mom knew how much you love her despite your tense conversation. As the other posters said, take as much time as you need to cope with your loss. I don't have personal experience with such a thing, but feel free to PM me If you need an anonymous person to rant to.
I'm glad that you called.
And thank you for your kind words and support. I am sure she knew I loved her, too; I just wish, as anyone would, that my last conversation with her had been the best in our relationship. But there was love. So, so much love.
Hey, I am so sorry. I am glad your mother is an organ donor, she will be giving a true, absolutely amazing gift to whoever receives her organs. It's must be hard to think of anything good coming out of this situation but I hope her donation gives you some sliver of happiness in your horrible ordeal.
It does, indeed, give me some happiness in this. Organ donation was incredibly important to her and, though the process made it more emotionally grueling for us, I am glad that we could honor that wish. I hope that whoever receives them has many more years ahead of them to love and receive love.
Sorry to hear about this. I was about to complain about school and life, but it all feels frivolous compared to what you're going through. Hang in there, Straight.
I'm really sorry to hear that; it makes me feel like a jerk when I complain about my week.
Yes it does. When your problems are miniscule compared to someone else that you know or are conversing with, then they should be marginalized, or else it's kind of embarrassing.
Thank you, both of you, for your kind words and support.
I do, however, want to add that you should never feel awful about sharing your own pain and frustrations. Even with my situation, you could find ones that are much, much worse. I have been blessed, ultimately; my mom's death hurts so much because I loved her so much and that love stems from the fact that, despite our conflicts, she was an amazing person and mother. I am lucky to have had that. The bottom line is that everyone has a right to their emotions -- including stress and frustration at having a bunch of tests.
