I agree that respect should go both ways. I think it does to a large degree. The more big city and large academic you go the less that nonsense flied.
This may be my age (early career academic) showing through but times are changing. In the past surgeons were kings/queens. Misogyny, racist jokes, sexually inappropriate comments, battery (throwing instruments, kicking walls), verbal and emotional abuse, and all other kinds of bull**** was tolerated for profit's sake. That is changing and changing rapidly. Hostile environment, sexual harassment, and patient safety lawsuits are rendering this kind of behavior a relic of a not-so-great past. If it's one thing that suits understand, it's money. The loss of funds from a discontinued residency program, a sexual harassment lawsuit, anger management courses, professional remediation, and the downward pressure on salaries makes these surgeons no longer loathed, but now unemployed. The clinical production profit is simply not worth the headache, unless you are truly the elite of the elite. No matter how good you think your local surgeon is, they're overall statistically average and therefore not worth the trouble.
Know when to fight your battles and remember that you are far more replaceable than the surgeon. That doesn't mean allow yourself to be disrespected or disparaged, but not everything is worth the expected conflict.