What do your parents think?

[DrWorkNeverDone]

---

Members do not see this ad.

I was just wondering what your parents think about you going for doctor? My dads reaction: you can be anything My mom and stepdad: Why not just be a nurse, it takes too long My mother-in-law: You better damn well do it 🙂 and I guess that can go with my husband too 🙂

 

[americanidiot]

My parents think it's the most ludicrous thing in the world to study for 8+ years only to make 150K only and get potentially sued and/or incarcerated and/or bankrupt. They say "go to law school. it's shorter and pays just as much if not more." i don't endorse these statements, but I've heard them over and over again.

 

[saki0005]

my dad doesn't believe i am good enough to get accepted and thinks i should "just get a real job"
my mom doesn't understand the process but she really tries to. she 100% believes that there is like some under-the-table deal i can make with admissions that will bypass all of this interview nonsense
my husband on the other hand believes in me, completely understands that this is a crap-shoot, and is fully prepared to put up with another round of this if i don't get accepted this year (haven't even had a freakin' interview yet 😱 )

 

[Sundarban1]

I was just wondering what your parents think about you going for doctor? My dads reaction: you can be anything My mom and stepdad: Why not just be a nurse, it takes too long My mother-in-law: You better damn well do it 🙂 and I guess that can go with my husband too 🙂

"Come mothers and fathers across the land, and don't criticize what you cant understand. You sons and daughters are beyond your commend. The old road is rapidly aging, please get out of the new one if you can't lend a hand. For the times they are'a changin'..."
B.Dylan

 

[PineappleGirl]

IMy mom and stepdad: Why not just be a nurse, it takes too long

My mom says the same thing, except it's physician's assistant, not nurse.
She's always going on about how her doctor's PA is so cool and how it would be so much easier to go to PA school. No residency. And the annual salary is not much less than a primary care doc.

 

[Pontifex Maximus]

My mom at first wasn't sure it was what I wanted, but is fully supportive of me. And I'm thankful for that.

 

[SanDiegoSOD]

My parents are pretty supportive, but my mom won't stop talking about how great it is to be an Orthodontist. She knows an orthodontist that works three days a week, 10hrs/day, and pulls in $450k a year. Medicine pays well, but these days, dentistry is the health profession to go into if you're highly concerned about compensation and lifestyle.

 

[MedicineBird]

I thought I was the only one with the unsupportive mother. I actually had to "confess" to her that I planned on applying to medical school and it erupted into a 2 hour "how could you/you're not good enough/etc" debate. She used the "be a nurse thing" and after I said that wasn't good enough for me she actually said, "If you want to waste that much time in school why can't you be a vet?" as if I'm not good enough to work on humans. Shheeeesh. She remains dissappointed to my face (calling me on my b-day to accuse me of being a gold digger and remind me that "a doctor is just an overglorified pooper scooper" -- whatever the hell that means") but when it suits her, she loves to brag to her aquaintences about how she always knew I was going to be a doc, how brilliant I am blah blah blah. Her games and hypocricy make me gag. She wants to take credit for my endeavors when all she has ever done is discourage me from achieving. I don't get it but, to tell you the truth, really don't give a shyt anymore either.

 

[Ross434]

(calling me on my b-day to accuse me of being a gold digger and remind me that "a doctor is just an overglorified pooper scooper"

How does going into a profession equal being a gold digger. I thought that was for relationships? What a nutjob 😀

 

[Tiki]

I thought I was the only one with the unsupportive mother. I actually had to "confess" to her that I planned on applying to medical school and it erupted into a 2 hour "how could you/you're not good enough/etc" debate. She used the "be a nurse thing" and after I said that wasn't good enough for me she actually said, "If you want to waste that much time in school why can't you be a vet?" as if I'm not good enough to work on humans. Shheeeesh. She remains dissappointed to my face (calling me on my b-day to accuse me of being a gold digger and remind me that "a doctor is just an overglorified pooper scooper" -- whatever the hell that means") but when it suits her, she loves to brag to her aquaintences about how she always knew I was going to be a doc, how brilliant I am blah blah blah. Her games and hypocricy make me gag. She wants to take credit for my endeavors when all she has ever done is discourage me from achieving. I don't get it but, to tell you the truth, really don't give a shyt anymore either.

My dad was the same way. He told me that I would never get into medical school, yet the day I got in he cried. It kind of made me mad. 😡

 

[MedicineBird]

How does going into a profession equal being a gold digger. I thought that was for relationships? What a nutjob 😀

Yyyeeeeaaahhhh --- that's my general impression too. 🙄

 

[MedicineBird]

My dad was the same way. He told me that I would never get into medical school, yet the day I got in he cried. It kind of made me mad. 😡

Is it because they are afraid to fail so they project that fear upon us? Or are they jealous and actually afraid that we will succeed?

 

[Ross434]

Is it because they are afraid to fail so they project that fear upon us? Or are they jealous and actually afraid that we will succeed?

I think they are worried about us failing and wanting us to have lower standards, because they themselves dont want to be crushed if you fail.

 

[mshheaddoc]

my mom wants me to go to law school or be a PA ... but they are both pretty much behind me now. It took a good 6 months of convincing though ... at the age of 25 ... finally taking the plunge. My parents think ahead to family structure and marriage and the next 10 years of schooling. I see their point but my goals are high 👍

 

[markd241]

First: Who am I- I am the father of an applicant who has "above average" ie similar stats too many SDNers and has watched her and tried to help and support her through the most bizarre, capricious and unpredictable process I have ever seen. I am an SDN lurker who is trying to understand/predict this process in order to better help my daughter (who really does not need my help, but gratefully tolerates it).

Second: I don't want to pry or offer unsolicited advice, so forgive me if I appear to be doing just that. Many of your parents may not appear supportive because they have no idea of the monumental crap shoot that is the process. Insecurity of applicants regardless of their stats has some basis in fact. However, if you have wisely or luckily applied to a broad enough range (i.e. relative to your GPA and MCAT) have a great personal statement  and the “right EC’s” then the interviews/accepts will hopefully come for most of you.

Good Luck
(More of this is required than should be the case)
Regards Mark

P.S. I can only get away with this post because my daughter is in the air on the way to an interview tomorrow and will certainly not look at this thread.

 

[MedicineBird]

First: Who am I- I am the father of an applicant who has "above average" ie similar stats too many SDNers and has watched her and tried to help and support her through the most bizarre, capricious and unpredictable process I have ever seen. I am an SDN lurker who is trying to understand/predict this process in order to better help my daughter (who really does not need my help, but gratefully tolerates it).

Second: I don't want to pry or offer unsolicited advice, so forgive me if I appear to be doing just that. Many of your parents may not appear supportive because they have no idea of the monumental crap shoot that is the process. Insecurity of applicants regardless of their stats has some basis in fact. However, if you have wisely or luckily applied to a broad enough range (i.e. relative to your GPA and MCAT) have a great personal statement  and the “right EC’s” then the interviews/accepts will hopefully come for most of you.

Good Luck
(More of this is required than should be the case)
Regards Mark

P.S. I can only get away with this post because my daughter is in the air on the way to an interview tomorrow and will certainly not look at this thread.

Thanks for your post, understanding, and pat on the back for those of us not as fortunate as your daughter. My best wishes for good luck for her. All it takes is one great interview to lead to a great acceptance. 👍

 

[musiclink213]

my parents are on and off. If they see me studying and stressing out over a chem exam, they'll say "is it really worth it? this medical school thing?" but if they see me studying for the mcat, they'll say it's good that i'm studying since i need to get in. They don't want me to go to medicine because according to them, it's one of hte most demanding and exhausting jobs (i gotta agree with them) and, this is my favorite:
"we did not come to this country so you would have to work hard. we came here so you can earn a good living and not break your back doing it. and what are you doing? you're going to be standing for 24 hours a day, having people pee and poop on you, you're telling me that's why we're in america? so you can be a human toilet bowl? and you know they'll expect you to just grin and bear it. Go into pharmacy, it's easier, they get paid better right away, and it's less time in school."

but then they'll tell everyone and anyone that their daughter is going to be a surgeon (although i didn't even know that i was going to be a surgeon, hmmm....) but get my parents talking enough, and they'll admit they don't really want me in med school. although oddly enough, when my sister who is currently a speech pathology grad student had a one day "maybe i'll go to medical school" thing, my parents were very supportive. mind you, when she took non-major human bio, i did most of the work, and when she took gen chem as a requirement for grad school, she was running to me in tears because she didn't understand chemistry.

My partents are also of the variety that think there can't possibly be that many people applying to medical school, that i'm basically a shoo in at every single med school in and surrounding NYC 🙄 These include not only the suny's, but Columbia, Cornell, MSSM, NYU, and all the other schools i probably can't even dream about. They think if maybe i go to doctors affiliated with NYU and tell them i want to go to medical school, they might get me in. Uh huh, sure. THey also think my dad's cousins son who went to NYU and then ran away to california would be legacy enough for me to get in there.

 

[Sarikate]

It's great when your parents are supportive. Unfortunately, a lot of them, despite having good intentions, have no idea what "supportive" means. Unsolicited advice, nagging, repeated questions. You have to seriously SET ASIDE what your parents say if it is not helping you. We are adults and at this point do not need our parents' advice to get into medical school. You have gotten this far...you can take it the rest of the way.

I spent three years (from ages 21-24) worrying whether my parents thought I was a deadbeat for taking time "off" after college. Despite winning a CDC fellowship, traveling to the four corners of the world, and plunging into the twilight zone of social work - activities that, in my opinion, were not deadbeat in the least - my father asked me the same question every week, with the same exasperated tone..."Sarah, what are you going to DO with your life?" I finally lay down some ground rules and enforced them. I said it was very hurtful when he insinuated that what I was doing was worthless and if he truly wanted to support me, he should focus on the things I was doing in the moment, not what I was going to do years down the line.

Finally, on my own time, I realized that I was ready to apply this year. And I set more rules for him - no asking me about what I'm going to do if I'm not accepted, no badgering about my MCAT scores, no pressure to move to the East Coast, etc. And I asked him very respectfully to consider his words carefully. It has worked to a degree. And it's reinforced to me that I am in charge of this future of mine. Pretty liberating, I must say.

 

[Lexian]

"we did not come to this country so you would have to work hard. we came here so you can earn a good living and not break your back doing it. and what are you doing? you're going to be standing for 24 hours a day, having people pee and poop on you, you're telling me that's why we're in america? so you can be a human toilet bowl?..."

You should tell them that they came to America to give their kids the opportunity to follow their dreams and the freedom to choose.

 

[DrWorkNeverDone]

musiclink I love the part about the toilet bowl...man sometimes it feels like that in the ER

I think it has a lot to do with knowing the process though...My mom use to not believe how much i had to study,,then she started working at the hospital as a supply person..her attitude totally changed. In fact for Christmas she got me an X-ray light I asked her what the hell am I going to do with this??? She said, I don't know, i saw it and I know docs use it all the time so I thought you would like one..I don't know things have started getting better since I have transferred.

My parents do the same thing though about bragging to their friends and family about how you are going to medicine...I dont like it much either, its like saying, oh my chosen path is good enough to brag about but not good enough to support?? 😡

To the parent on here: yeah maybe I should have my mom come on to this site and read some of the things that we talk about...IN FACT 🙂 why not make a foreum for them? I mean we must drive them mad too by not being able to see them and stuff....HAY MEDIATOR 🙂 YOu think it can be done????

 

[locoindio]

To whoever reads this on this board,
I'm in the premed process like the rest of you are, but I'm noticing that my grades and my abilities with premed classes are just 'pretty good'. They are not stellar. I have a natural penchant for music, though. I'm a session drummer. I've performed (in session=on a studio recording) as a drummer for a very long time, and I'm wondering if any of you have a particular artistic (or otherwise) skill outside of medicine that ever compels you to go pursue a career in it vs a career in medicine? Any advice would be helpful, as I am sorting out whether I should go to medical school or go into music (creative as well as the business side).....reply when you can...

Loco

 

[saki0005]

To whoever reads this on this board,
I'm in the premed process like the rest of you are, but I'm noticing that my grades and my abilities with premed classes are just 'pretty good'. They are not stellar. I have a natural penchant for music, though. I'm a session drummer. I've performed (in session=on a studio recording) as a drummer for a very long time, and I'm wondering if any of you have a particular artistic (or otherwise) skill outside of medicine that ever compels you to go pursue a career in it vs a career in medicine? Any advice would be helpful, as I am sorting out whether I should go to medical school or go into music (creative as well as the business side).....reply when you can...

Loco

if you aren't passionate about medicine, don't pursue it. you're going to be working for the rest of your life and you might as well have a job that you really want to do. i hate it when people go into medicine for money or parental pressure or reputation, etc. and then figure it out later in life that they should've been a childrens book illustrator or an engineer. they take up seats in classes that should be filled with people who no doubt in their mind, 100%, with all their heart want to be a physician. like me.
on the other hand i've got a buddy who is a doc and he plays in a university orchestra twice a month so maybe you can combine the two.

 

[Sarikate]

My grades in pre-med classes were also only "pretty good," and I was and still am a very serious violinist. I was taking almost equal numbers of music classes in college. Now, I would say I spend an average of 30-40 hours per month in rehearsals or performances, but am probably going to medical school this fall. You can be a physician-musician, as long as you are willing to make some sacrifices in music during medical school and residency. PLENTY of doctors are very accomplished musicians!

 

[DrWorkNeverDone]

To whoever reads this on this board,
I'm in the premed process like the rest of you are, but I'm noticing that my grades and my abilities with premed classes are just 'pretty good'. They are not stellar. I have a natural penchant for music, though. I'm a session drummer. I've performed (in session=on a studio recording) as a drummer for a very long time, and I'm wondering if any of you have a particular artistic (or otherwise) skill outside of medicine that ever compels you to go pursue a career in it vs a career in medicine? Any advice would be helpful, as I am sorting out whether I should go to medical school or go into music (creative as well as the business side).....reply when you can...

Loco

Actually, I sing, not like american idol, but I sing opera music, musicals and such. I had a lot of time in community college to do so but at my UC all choir classes are at night and I have work 🙁 I MISS IT ALOT!! but that wasn't really what I wanted to do for a career it was more of my area to let out stress, and somewhere where I was special, not just another premed student. I got to do a whole lot of solos, and the climax was my last semester in choir, sang o holy night and dedicated it to my mom. She is hearing impaired and sooner than later she won't be able to hear me, it meant a lot to her 🙂....

Anyways, really though just go with what you really want to do!! If you want to do music then do it 🙂 besides like someone said above I dont want anyone who doesnt know if they are going to keep doing this after the 4 years to be in a seat I could be in (j/k well kinda)

 

[musiclink213]

To whoever reads this on this board,
I'm in the premed process like the rest of you are, but I'm noticing that my grades and my abilities with premed classes are just 'pretty good'. They are not stellar. I have a natural penchant for music, though. I'm a session drummer. I've performed (in session=on a studio recording) as a drummer for a very long time, and I'm wondering if any of you have a particular artistic (or otherwise) skill outside of medicine that ever compels you to go pursue a career in it vs a career in medicine? Any advice would be helpful, as I am sorting out whether I should go to medical school or go into music (creative as well as the business side).....reply when you can...

Loco

i've played classical piano for about 15 years, and i've taken viola and guitar classes in college, and in junior high, i learned flute and saxophone, and in high school, i also added the oboe onto my list of instruments. I still keep up with my music, not as much as i could if i wasn't studying all the time, but it makes me happy. although i spend so much time with music, i know it's not what i want to do for the rest of my life. i love it, and that's precisely why i don't want to make it my job. because a lot of times, if your job is what used to be your stress reliever, how are you going to destress? because sooner or later, every job gets stressful.

if you do decide medicine is for you, you might just have an edge over some other people, because having played on studio recordings is not something that everyone has done. So on interviews, it's something to talk about and will make you stand out so they'll remember you. but really, only you can decide for yourself.

 

[drguy22]

i will be the first doc in the family...so my entire family is pretty excited🙂..

although..

when i was waiting to hear if I got into med skool...my parents were very annoying and bugged me a lot!

 

[Shaz]

I was just wondering what your parents think about you going for doctor? My dads reaction: you can be anything My mom and stepdad: Why not just be a nurse, it takes too long My mother-in-law: You better damn well do it 🙂 and I guess that can go with my husband too 🙂

My dad says to me: do you realize you're going to be in school for 19 years after this whole process is over?

(Yep, first doc in the family here as you can guess.)

 

[chitown82]

i will be the first doc in the family...so my entire family is pretty excited🙂..

although..

when i was waiting to hear if I got into med skool...my parents were very annoying and bugged me a lot!

don't take this the wrong way, but i've been wondering if you are one of those jersey wannbe indian thugs that we all know and love?

 

[drguy22]

don't take this the wrong way, but i've been wondering if you are one of those jersey wannbe indian thugs that we all know and love?

o no...im no thug...dont dress like one...nor do i act like one....in fact, im not too fond of those "thugs"..they think they are soo much better than everyone else. They also think they are smarter than everyone else...when in fact they are the first ones to cheat on exams...

 

[TX_Longhorn]

mom: stick with engineering. too much malpractice bs and lower and lower compensation from insurance companies in medicine.

 

[Psycho Doctor]

My parents are actually really supportive. Since i'm the only one not in law, they initially weren't sure whether to be happy for me or upset. Sometimes they ask me too many questions (like around MCAT and application/interview time, which gets annoying but i know it's all because they care. They sometimes think i'm already a doctor when they ask and expect me to know medical diagnoses, prognosis, etc. However i do get comments like "as a doctor you should know better than......" or "are you sure you'll be able to handle that when you're really a doctor" which can be really annoying.

 

[swifteagle43]

If i became a doctor it would be a second generation thing. My parents would look down upon me unless i went med, law or business.

 

[kaikai128]

Dad: "So you got into med school huh...I guess now you think you are going to move 1/2 way acrossed the country." That was in October, and since then the most he has said is, "Are you still planning on going to THAT school next year?"

 

[maxflash04]

I am a football player + pre-med student. My mom is very supporitive of the decision I have chosen but she seems to favor the football aspect instead of the academic one. No matter how many times I tell her that I can't rely on football for the rest of my life because injury can occur at any time (has happened before!), you can only do it for so long, etc. she still goes on about it! It's a bit distressing at times but ultimately, it's my decision in what I do, not hers.

To the above poster (swifteagle43): I have read many articles in various health/science magazines and have noticed that there is a high percentage of (pre)med students that go that route simply because of outside influcences such as family, friends, etc. If you aren't truely passionate about this particular career (or the others you posted), I wouldn't do it simply becuase of the sacrafices involved, time commitment, etc. But that's your decision!

Good luck to everyone! 🙂

 

[nikibean]

I came to this pathway later than traditionally- I'm 27. I've lived in a few different countries, done a lot of random stuff, and have lived/worked in the wilderness for about 5 years now. My parents did the same "what the hell are you going to DO with your life" speech. I loved volunteering in women's clinics, and I loved my EMT work, so I decided, hey, maybe I should take some science classes and try this med school thing. So I did, and I discovered I could actually *do* physics. It's not the pre-med classes I was pscyhed about- it's the patient care that I'm part of daily that drives me.
However, once I told my parents I was going for it, it's like there's no way out. I'd be third generation and first female physician in the family. My mom is really cool- has the attitude of "it's okay if you decide you want to go FNP or RN instead, because I know how long this path is" but my dad is ready to disown me if I change my mind. It's really frustrating.
They're weird though; they got on me for being ski patroller, saying that adcoms would think it wasn't serious enough. I can't tell you how many wrecks/patients I get in a day. When I called UCSF to tell them about what I've been doing and ask about a letter, they were like, "wow that's cool- write it down and update us! You must be getting a lot of experience." That shut up the padres. So I feel like I've brought a ton of pressure on myself by involving them at all. It's really really frustrating.

 

[LauraMac]

originally my parents thought it was a bad idea... supposedly, i am going to turn into some kind of career woman with no time for marriage/kids and it's going to be so stressful and time-consuming and on and on and on.

but now that they know i'm serious and that i'm going for sure, they are supportive. they even sort of understand the process now and keep asking for updates.

like someone before said, i think they are just projecting their fears on us. my mom would be terrified to death to go to med school herself, and i know she's just worried that i'll have some of the same fears.