Let's trade. I'll sit on my ass on a lab bench and do scut work and study with no real responsibilities. You can read the three textbooks on research methodology and decide which one to use for class next semester. Oh, and my Introduction to Philosophy class needs to be restructured since they released a new edition of the textbook and changed the authors sampled, so update all of my lectures to reflect the new material. And here's the 650 pages of student papers you'll have to read for one section of my medical ethics class, there's an additional 400 from the second section, and 400 from my Intro class, and 400 from my ethics in the sciences. Oh, the geography, criminal justice, religious studies, government, and sociology departments need websites by next month - you'll need to do site architecture, copy, and faculty bios for each. Oh, by the way, the Journal of Trauma needs revisions on the article by next week to meet the publication deadline. The IRB called and they need the renewals for the study on affective disorders in intensive care. The other two studies need to be prepared for the IRB, and since we need to establish research relationships with the two hospitals in the area, meet with hospital administration to pitch the ideas and find out their IRB protocols before you can see patients there. Once you have that taken care of, you need to meet with accounting to get the tax ID for the philosophy club and arrange the guest speakers for next semester. Incidentally, we need you to prepare a lecture on biodiversity and environmental ethics. The Oxford University Press expressed interest in your book on psychiatry and medical ethics - they'd like chapter summaries by Friday. They have also expressed interest in the book on conducting clinical ethical research, and will want a sample chapter by then, too. By the way, how goes the search for funding? Have you started the NIH paperwork yet? You know the protocols are detailed, right? Oh, what's that? You were hoping to find some time to start a family? Maybe in a few years.
The take home message is that you know nothing about me or what I do, and my job isn't easy. Thanks for playing. 🙂