what makes a better personal statement?

[komradrobot]

---

Members do not see this ad.

As I'm writing my personal statement it is starting to sound more like a story, and it isn't really saying much about "why i am a good candidate for your dental school" per say....but it is well written and people say it's really interesting to read???

It's more about my interest in art and medicine, and in the end I kind of talk about how dentistry combines the two and how that makes me happy. I mention very little about the experiences I have written in my resume.

And I don't ever mention compassion or community or anything like that...though I've done a lot of community service kind of stuff and it's all in the resume part.

What do you think the personal statement is really about? Is it a show of your writing skills and the way you think as a person? Do you think it's necessary to highlight all of the experiences that have been recorded in your resume that make you a qualified candidate for dental school?

Hoping to start a discussion about this..maybe someone wants to share what they wrote about/how they formatted their essay? I can share more too, mine is..really really like a story. It reads well but I'm afraid it might not be saying enough.

Sorry if this has been discussed a lot before, please don't hate me and tell me to use the search function I'm sorry ok!

 

[Skygrandpager]

As I'm writing my personal statement it is starting to sound more like a story, and it isn't really saying much about "why i am a good candidate for your dental school" per say....but it is well written and people say it's really interesting to read???

It's more about my interest in art and medicine, and in the end I kind of talk about how dentistry combines the two and how that makes me happy. I mention very little about the experiences I have written in my resume.

And I don't ever mention compassion or community or anything like that...though I've done a lot of community service kind of stuff and it's all in the resume part.

What do you think the personal statement is really about? Is it a show of your writing skills and the way you think as a person? Do you think it's necessary to highlight all of the experiences that have been recorded in your resume that make you a qualified candidate for dental school?

Hoping to start a discussion about this..maybe someone wants to share what they wrote about/how they formatted their essay? I can share more too, mine is..really really like a story. It reads well but I'm afraid it might not be saying enough.

Sorry if this has been discussed a lot before, please don't hate me and tell me to use the search function I'm sorry ok!

This may help:
http://www.adea.org/publications/Documents/OG_2010/OG2010_ch2.pdf
On pg. 16 they give some suggestions. good luck

 

[dentalstudent00]

you need to show that you care about the community and genuinely want to help people. this is what they want to see from a healthcare professional candidate. please don't talk about the lifestyle and money.

 

[MrBeans]

I've run into the same problem: what makes a personal statement better?

I've written 6 different drafts: resumes, biographies, stories, etc.

I've consulted with numerous friends, family, professors, and instructors.

Everybody seemed to like one of the 6, but the general consensus didn't point to solely one style. It seems like what one person would call a strong personal statement, another person would say the opposite. I think what makes a strong personal statement is one written with passion and true conviction that you want to become a dentist; and of course you want it written as eloquently as possible without grammatical errors. What is boils down to is your own writing, only consult others to work with the flow and grammar.

I've seen to many times where people let others make such vast revisions that the personal statement is no longer their own, and it ends up sounding like a manufactured statement out of a Hallmark commercial.

Stories can be engaging, but this is what I figure: If the admissions committee is reading your personal statement, that means they are seriously considering you. Furthermore, I have heard that about 3 people on the committee seriously take some time to thoroughly read your statement. A story may engage the reader right away, but at the same time it may waste valuable characters you could use talking about yourself in a more fruitful way. A story may catch attention, but it most certainly won't make you stand out from the crowd.

I wrote an amazing story personal statement, and my English instructor claimed that it was the perfect and most "fantastic" personal statement that had griped his attention and drew him in to read it with fervor. I thought I done! Then I took the same personal statement to my professors, mentors, and PIs and they all frowned upon it saying that while it was engaging it told them nothing of who I really am, or the infamous question of "why?."

What I found out is it really boils down to a truthful discussion of yourself that flows well and is well written. Gripping stories and attention getting quotes will not set you apart from the crowd, because if the admissions committee is reading your personal statement, you're already set apart from the crowd.

Just my humble 2 cents. 🙂

 

[jmt1984]

👍 to what MrBeans said

 

[komradrobot]

Thanks MrBeans, what a great response.

I'm so scared that my statement might seem like "fluff" that really says little about why I want to be a dentist, and instead just tells an engaging story about my life. I've definitely been getting mixed reviews from everyone.

I am trying to muster up the confidence to be brave with it and hope that an admissions committee member somewhere out there can relate to what I have to say, but at the same time I feel like there are certain ideas that need to be addressed in the essay.

May I ask which essay you have decided on choosing?

 

[MrBeans]

Thanks MrBeans, what a great response.

I'm so scared that my statement might seem like "fluff" that really says little about why I want to be a dentist, and instead just tells an engaging story about my life. I've definitely been getting mixed reviews from everyone.

I am trying to muster up the confidence to be brave with it and hope that an admissions committee member somewhere out there can relate to what I have to say, but at the same time I feel like there are certain ideas that need to be addressed in the essay.

May I ask which essay you have decided on choosing?

My personal statement is more biographical, as I think this represents myself in the most coherent way. I ended up removing the story portion of my essay all together.

Removing the story allowed me to utilize 300-500 characters in a more meaningful way, in my opinion.

 

[angelnyc89]

Maybe have a Dentist go over it, and if they're on a ds admission staff, they might make some pointers.

 

[ItalianPrincess]

haha my ps has a similar theme! weird but i kinda have a little bit of everything because i feel that me being involved in the arts made me who i am and it led me to dentistry

what i did was link the story i did put in to my art background. so if you wanna try that then do it

i worry sometimes that my ps is not going to please everyone, but hell i love it and i think its me in 4008 characters as well as me in 4008 characters can possibly be. so i figure if i love it and think its me thats probably the best way to go

good luck!

 

[DATlongshui]

I also find it exceedingly hard to wrap up PS with 4500 characters limit. I have read an instruction about those assays somewhere, and somewhere it says things you leave out are equally important as the things you put in......anyway, it's going to really personal tough choices.