- Joined
- Jun 22, 2009
- Messages
- 47
- Reaction score
- 0
i'm sick of hearing of everyones stellar accomplishments. if your resume said the truth about you, what would it really say?
*disclaimer: this is for FUN. it is not meant to offend anyone. and if it does, don't be a troll/douche, just move on & ignore me.
My 411
Skills:
1. an innovative thinker- always able to find short cuts and ways to do the least amount of work while appearing as if i'm doing a whole lot.
2. quick learner and typer- i have a lot of experience in having to type fast, such as texting multiple people while my professors lecture, and going on AIM
3. great multitasker- i can go on aim, websurf, talk on the phone, listen to music while working on my lab report
Education: Bachelor of Science in Chemistry
University of Washington
(eh, can't really spice this up)
Relevant experience-
1. Volunteer at UW medical center- 400+ clinical hours of talking to patients and playing memory with my fellow volunteers. gained valuable experience in the hospital setting by creating barf-baggies for patients and folding wash cloths. would assist with maintenance and prevent money-waste by eating the in-patient food when close to expiration dates
2. TA for high school physics- sat infront of computer and facebooked/worked on homework assignments while students conducted lab experiments. would sometimes take naps.
3. Lab assistant in synthetic chem lab- would perform very important lab experiments. often slept while waiting for reflux. broke many beakers and test tubes. would use the bunsen burner as often as possible.
4. chemical analyst in analytical chem lab- get paid money to play with chemicals. spend free time reading MSDS to learn how to properly extinguish all the possible fires i could make. broke many seperatory funnels.
*disclaimer: this is for FUN. it is not meant to offend anyone. and if it does, don't be a troll/douche, just move on & ignore me.
My 411
Skills:
1. an innovative thinker- always able to find short cuts and ways to do the least amount of work while appearing as if i'm doing a whole lot.
2. quick learner and typer- i have a lot of experience in having to type fast, such as texting multiple people while my professors lecture, and going on AIM
3. great multitasker- i can go on aim, websurf, talk on the phone, listen to music while working on my lab report
Education: Bachelor of Science in Chemistry
University of Washington
(eh, can't really spice this up)
Relevant experience-
1. Volunteer at UW medical center- 400+ clinical hours of talking to patients and playing memory with my fellow volunteers. gained valuable experience in the hospital setting by creating barf-baggies for patients and folding wash cloths. would assist with maintenance and prevent money-waste by eating the in-patient food when close to expiration dates
2. TA for high school physics- sat infront of computer and facebooked/worked on homework assignments while students conducted lab experiments. would sometimes take naps.
3. Lab assistant in synthetic chem lab- would perform very important lab experiments. often slept while waiting for reflux. broke many beakers and test tubes. would use the bunsen burner as often as possible.
4. chemical analyst in analytical chem lab- get paid money to play with chemicals. spend free time reading MSDS to learn how to properly extinguish all the possible fires i could make. broke many seperatory funnels.
