What to do when you have run out of steam...

[SarahLiz82]

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Hi everyone,

Like many of you I've started back to school this week. I graduated last May with honors and a degree in French and minors in chemistry and business. I changed majors a couple of times, had a few family things, and the whole thing took 8 years. I also applied to medical school last year and came pretty close, but didn't get in. The school I very much want to go to asked me to go back to my undergrad and take a 2-4 upper level bio classes and redo the mcat. Brought my MCAT score up to a 28R and took genetics ( a 200 level pre-req) in the fall. Unfortunately, I got a B+. Part of this is because I am so tired of school. It's like finishing the marathon and having someone ask if you would like to jog a few more miles just for fun. I know they want me to demonstrate my science prowess, but...I just can't seem to get it together. They did also say I should look for a little job, make some money, and have some fun. Which brings me to this semester. I was just planning on taking biochem. I know that I need it to be successful, although again, I feel like I would rather do anything than wade through another textbook. Then my brother (who did get in last year at the same school in question) said I should take cell as well to prove myself to them. So all week long I've gone to both cell and biochem and have been tormented by this decision. I don't want to be rejected again... I don't think I would feel like this if I were in med school because I would be a) in a new environment and b) working towards something. I mean, I guess I'm working towards something now, but its not the same. I just feel burned out. And then on one hand I feel guilty about it, I mean, I only took one class last semester. And then on the other hand, I haven't really had a break from studying completely. Maybe that's what I need to get over it? Is there something wrong with me? I don't even love biology, which makes signing up and trudging through more of these classes even harder. I don't really know what I love. Maybe I have too high of expectations about how people choose majors, feel about classes, etc. So anyways, I have until tomorrow to fix my schedule. And like I've said, I've agonized to the point of an ulcer over this. Yesterday was my birthday and I missed it because I was so miserable trying to decide what to do. Today I just don't feel like I have it me to make myself do this. But what if my spark never comes back? I majored in French because I knew I was going to go on and become a professional. Part of me thinks that as long as I have to take something (which I do to make the med school happy) that I might as well add on the cell and lab. I won't be as lonely (I commute and help care for my grandma) and maybe I'll be more in an academic mind frame. On the other hand I think that maybe the more I minimize my time there the better. I could get a job at the mall of something on the side. Have you guys ever felt this burned out? How did you get past it when you only feel like taking a six month summer vacation and watching TV? I know that isn't a practical sentiment, but I'm lost. And if I never get in, well, I don't know what I'll do because to be any other type of professional would require me to find some other passion and head back to college for another three years. Please help.

 

[NTF]

I think you should take some time to work or travel. Have some fun. You sound like you're burnt out and that isn't a good place to be when you start med school. If you're sick of studying now, pre-clinical years will grind you into a nub. And I think it's a dangerous assumption to think that somehow just being in med school will make things different for you. It's not someone asking you to run a few laps after running a marathon. It's someone asking you to train a little more before the MARATHON HAS EVEN STARTED.

There's no shame in taking some time to recharge and refocus. There's a lot of great experiences to be had out there that aren't about trying to get into med school. Come back focused and refreshed. Med school will always be here when you're ready.

 

[canjosh]

Agreed. Take a year off if you can. At least take off till fall semester.

 

[wholeheartedly]

i third the agreement ;-) if you're this burned out now on school and you are able to get into medical school it's really going to kill you then.

take a year or semester to recoup/ work and do something non academic. start refreshed, do well on an upper level science class and then get in and be ready to study your tail off in med school. from personal experience, even a semester off can really rejuvinate your brain.

 

[Mister T]

Need paragraphs

 

[SarahLiz82]

Yeah, I guess you guys have confirmed what I already knew in my heart. I just feel like, after only taking one class in the fall, I should already be over this hump I feel. I also feel as though I have to take the biochem though, because that's what the school wanted me to do. I wonder if taking just one class again and working will be enough to get over it, or if I really need to take off, like do no school to get my mojo back. And I'm having panic attacks now because I hate to feel so worthless and unmotivated and I feel like I can't control it.

 

[MMADoc]

To the OP,

If you re-read your post it sounds like you have already made up your mind and you are seeking approval/confirmation of the choice that you have made. Well, here it is. Take a break from school! Life is a marathon and not a race…it’s the places you go and not the time in which you get there that’s important.

Furthermore, as others have already stated, medical school is a beast compared to undergrad studying. A former GF of mine recently started and her first year (especially her first semester) was one big ball of stress and sleepless nights…going into that type of environment already stressed out is just asking for a miserable life. Relax and calm down.

Try teaching ESL for a year overseas to recharge your motivational batteries. I did this when I first graduated college a while back (taught in South Korea) and it really allowed me to take a break, see interesting places, meet interesting people, expand my life experiences and fundamentally, help me to recapture my motivation for school. There is nothing like working for a few years to help someone stroke the fires for higher education.

Two cents.

 

[sumstorm]

Furthermore, as others have already stated, medical school is a beast compared to undergrad studying. A former GF of mine recently started and her first year (especially her first semester) was one big ball of stress and sleepless nights…going into that type of environment already stressed out is just asking for a miserable life. Relax and calm down.

Try teaching ESL for a year overseas to recharge your motivational batteries. I did this when I first graduated college a while back (taught in South Korea) and it really allowed me to take a break, see interesting places, meet interesting people, expand my life experiences and fundamentally, help me to recapture my motivation for school. There is nothing like working for a few years to help someone stroke the fires for higher education.

I can't jump on the bandwagon and say 'take a year/semester off and just relax.' For me, as a non-trad, reality is that I have never had more than two weeks off (if that) since I started working. I started working at 12 yrs old as a field picker (hand picking tomatos, strawberries, etc.) In my personal experience, in the working world it is very difficult to take time off from a career path and do something completly different and not experience consequences (good or bad.)

I do agree that a couple of years of working can really focus a person on their interests/passions/goals.

No one asked this question: can you afford to? do you have student loans that will come due? if you don't get in and they suggest this for the next round, will you kick yourself? Can you gain worthwhile employment in a field you enjoy (by worthwhile I mean it covers the cost and doesn't detract from your goals?)

Another thing to consider; learning is a skill. As a non-trad returning directly into vet med (I am currently in classes from 8am-4:30pm 4 days a week, and 7am-6pm one other day, plus weekend rotations i clinic and wetlabs) I quickly realized I had lost the skill to learn, particulary at the speed/duration/quality/quantity required. I believe even on lecture course the semester before would have helped preserve those skills.

Also, I wouldn't assume this feeling will be solved getting out for a while.... in some ways, for me, it makes it worse. Really, I don't care about memorizing anymore; in the real world half of what I am memorizing for classes I will not use in practie; and if need to, I will look it up. Learned that from my previous career; so I wasn't nearly as motivated (some learning seems pretty senseless.) I also wouldn't assume that it will be 'better' just by changing the environment to vet school.

The above is just my opinion, probably colored by lack of a semester off from working for 28 years. 😀 Do what works for you, but be aware there are always consequences, better or worse.