What would you do? My dad may die soon...

[Tristy]

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Sorry, I know that all of you are anxiously waiting for your scores and hope all the best for you guys

I just thought that maybe an outsider's opinion may help. I am scheduled to take step 1 on july 25th (but once again I will move it up to august 16th probably). I still have health problems so my studying has been all over the place, not really solid prep as it should be.

A few days ago we got news that my dad (he's 83) is in the hospital fighting for his life in Argentina. The doctors don't think that he's going to make it..And I don't know what to do. I think I will have to take the semester off to go to Argentina(thankfully it is an option), both because of my dad and because of my health problem.

But, I don't know what to do with regards to the boards.
a) Should I delay it until I come back (My plan is to leave next week if I'm lucky enough, and stay 2 or 3 months over there)?

b) Take it now and get it over with?

I don't know what to do about this...On one hand I think that the more I delay it the worse it's going to be, but on the other hand I think that if I take it now I might fail or get a crappy score because I can't think straight, nor concentrate or study...

I just wanted a few opinions from an outsider's point of view....Thanks 🙁...

 

[oldpro]

Delay, Sorry to read this. I would take care of your family first.

 

[ShyRem]

Delay it and take a semester off. You are in no shape to take step 1 and give it your best shot. Family first. Boards second.

 

[drdr2010]

you should only focus on whats important right now: go be with your dad, step 1 will still be here when you get back.

my dad died several years ago and i would be willing to fail step 1 several times over if it meant i could have had more time with him.

 

[Little Bay]

I agree. Family is more important. I think you should take a break, spend time with your Dad if you can, and work on getting better yourself.

However, I'll bet that you already know what you should do. If you read this and say, "no, that doesn't seem right," then, go with what does.

 

[BrisketAttack]

wow, that's brutal. very sorry to hear. my father passed away while i was studying for the MCAT. I took it as originally scheduled and it was a bad decision on my part. i was not prepared intellectually or emotionally. if you can bring yourself to do it, I'd say delay and tend to family matters.

 

[tfom08]

I think delaying sounds like the right choice. Step 1 will be here, but being there for your family and taking care of yourself is what really matters. Especially if you will be taking some time off, you have plenty of time to study. I see why it is tempting to just try to push through since you have already started studying and it isn't THAT much longer, but I just don't think I would have been able to do it under the circumstances.

 

[synapse lapse]

I agree with the others...delay taking the test and go spend time with your family.

 

[Tristy]

Thank you for the responses guys 🙁 I may not write much right now because well, because you know how you get when you start thinking about it, and it's a chain reaction from there 🙁

But I am reading all of your responses.

Thank you guys, this is just overwhelming...

 

[DOCTORSAIB]

I agree with everyone else on here. Please attend to your family and yourself first, then the exam.

I wish you and your family all the best. Hang in there.

 

[lord_jeebus]

🙁

Agree with everyone

 

[tacrum43]

I agree that taking some time off might be a good idea. You can always take the boards again later. Time with your family is not always something that you can get back.

On a personal note, my Dad is sick too. It's been tough, but I am still in school at the moment. I do think I may have to take a year off after this semester ends. I know it's not exactly uplifting, but I just wanted to commiserate. I pray you are able to come to the right decision for you and your family.

 

[Instatewaiter]

I agree with everyone else.

Your post really puts everything in perspective. Good luck.

 

[agranulocytosis]

Good advice given by everyone thus far. I would rather delay my studies than to regret the rest of my life wishing I would have spent more time with my father. Like drdr2010 said, family is more important. Hang in there, and if you believe in anything greater than us, just know that everything is in good hands and that everything will work out the way it should. Nothing happens without purpose.

 

[MrBrightside]

I'm sorry to hear about your dad. My dad passed away six months ago, right in the middle of 2nd year. I thought my situation was definitely a worse case scenario as though 2nd year isn't hard enough. I decided to tough it out and in the end, I'm happy with my decision. In my opinion, it's a personal decision, one that only you can make and getting general advice is helpful but you're the one that has to live with your decision either way. It's not an easy decision and whatever decision you make, you'll probably question it at somepoint. It's not going to be easy so getting support from family, friends and/or a therapist is really important. No matter what your relationship was like with your dad, it will hurt but from my experience, it does get better with time. Feel free to PM me if you want to hear more about my experience. I hope all turns out well for you.

 

[SoCuteMD]

Family first. Go. Now.

 

[Doctor Bagel]

I would probably delay, but I agree with MrBrightside that it's a personal decision. Sorry you guys are going through this right now. 🙁

 

[Batmaan21]

In the end, the decision should be what you feel is right - I know that's not much of a response - moreso, I just want to say that I'm sorry...although we don't personally get to know eachother, this board definitely creates a nice, community feeling, and I'm just terribly sorry that this is happening to you. Keeping you in my thoughts, as are the rest of us SDNers...

 

[Tristy]

....it means a lot me all of your support 🙁 I do have the strong feeling that I have to go, and what all of you said is what I feel is right. School and the boards will still be here by the time I come back. Right now I have to focus on getting to be by my dad's side.

Thank you all, thank you, this is the most difficult time in my life, I'm facing my worst fear, one of the 2 worst fears in my life...I will go to be with my family, I have to take care of some things first, financial aid, my own meds and health, withdrawing for the semester (or the year, I don't know yet). I'm still waiting on my passport...that's the one thing holding me here, hopefully the embassy will be able to stamp it so I can leave the country.

I can only hope to be in Argentina by next week, and I pray that my dad can fight this, until I get there so can fight together, as a family. All of you have given me strenght, and kindness, thank you. Even though I don't know you, thank you.

It's hard to be strong in moments like this...but I will go, I don't want to regret it for the rest of my life...I was talking to my mom just now and I had her put the phone by his ear so I could talk to him, science can say all it wants, but I know he can hear me, and I'll be there, I pray I can be there as soon as possible..

Thank you guys 🙁

 

[Chutku]

I had a family situation where my wife got very sick in second year. I toughed out second year - that is what both her & I thought was the best. Then I took two quarters off and delayed taking my Step 1.
It is an extremely personal decision- personally I would put family first. When you come back the boards would still be there - abstruse as ever.
Several years from now when you are a practicing physician when you took your boards would be a non issue.
That is my advice - bear in mind it is subjective.

Best.

 

[Nylesor]

My mom was diagnosed with cancer right in the middle of my finals this semester. I stayed to finish the last two weeks of finals, then went to be with her, pushing my step later on. Family first. I know this is the path we chose, but sometimes I wonder why we are pushed so hard to take care of other people, that we are sometimes forced to neglect the ones we love.

 

[Resolve]

well, if you are confident that you will pass, then you should take it as soon as possible. you may not remember all those things once you come back from argentina. and if you don't take it now, you know that you will be studying while you are visiting your dad. that would be extra stress for you.

so take it now if you can pass, delay it if you are not sure.

 

[Tristy]

I'll be brief guys,

I made it to Argentina. But he died. I was just a few hours late...Now we're doing the "velorio", I'm devastated....but I am glad that I delayed (thank you all for the input, I really believe in my heart that I made the right decision) both step 1, and school (I'm taking the time off).

Thanks to all of you, and for those of you that pray, please have him in your prayers if you can, he was an amazing father and human being 🙁 I have to get to sleep now, tomorrow is going to be a tough day....I'm emotionally exhausted and drained...🙁

 

[BillyRubinstein]

Very sorry to hear of your loss - you'll be in my thoughts and prayers.....I'm sure you'll make your dad proud with the honorable future in medicine you'll have one day......stay strong....we'll all be pulling for you 🙂

 

[linuxgrl]

I'm so sorry for your loss Tristy. I totally agree with Billy - I'm sure your dad is already very proud of you. Sending good thoughts your way...