What you REALLY learned by doing research

[Mr. Tee]

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I really like research....depends on the lab and the caliber of the work though.

 

[Med Addict]

I learned that really hate research

Could not agree more. My PI made me mouth pipette for an experiment, somewhat ridiculous. Extremely repetitive experiments; I thought I was gonna loose my sanity. Glad to have done research now, then to have to do it for the rest of my life. Whew.

 

[OwnageMobile]

I'm actually doing "research" this instant 😉

1) It's slow.
2) Chinese aren't all braniacs.
3) Problem solving in the epidemiology department can be fun
4) "Hours of boredom punctuated with moments of sheer terror"
5) I find programming more fun than editing

Some of research has been really cool, some not so much. I'm thinking I'd rather do EM.

 

[OwnageMobile]

6) The internet here is whack

 

[Karl_Hungus]

...that I gained an appreciation for university, peer-reviewed research and gained valuable skills in evaluating that research, but my true passion lies in clinical medicine and delivery of health care. {almost direct quote from my interviews}

 

[LJDHC05]

After 3 years (2 summers+1year full time) in the lab I've learned that:
-The current NIH grant review system is complete crap
-Macs are better than PC's because they're shinier
-Researchers get so little respect from clinicians that it makes me sick
-No one in my institution outside of research actually even knows that research is going on
-My liver hurts from my co-workers' drinking habits
-Some of the coolest developments come completely by accident
-Submitting a publication is the most anti-climactic event of my life
-Some post-docs can be real duesch bags. I'm not your f***ing cabana boy, nor am I your secretary. My job does not include running over to Staples for binder clips. Nor does it include babysitting your undergrads so that they dont break my $300k microscope. Nor does it include running around and collecting signatures for your 30th grant application this week. Just because you published 3 papers during your undergrad and have an adjunct faculty position at harvard doesnt give you the right to give me crap about being less productive than you were. You may eat, breathe and drink this stuff but this is only a job to me, when my 45-50 hour per week is up, I'm off the clock.
-Other post docs are the coolest people on earth because they take you fishing or give you red sox tickets or buy you beer!
-Technicians and grad students are the real scientists doing science, post-docs and PIs just come up with the experiments we do
-Research is a multi-billion dollar pissing match between really smart and stuborn people.
-Research, Baseball and porn are the only places where rediculous facial hair styles are acceptable every day.
-Western Blots suck to optimize
-There arent enough hot women in science
-Being slightly computer literate and knowing how to handle a screwdriver makes you more competant in life than a PhD
-I really dislike baby chickens. If I never decapitate another baby chicken again, I would be a happy man.
-Really pretty pictures get a paper published faster than solid stats
-They dont pay me enough to do what I do
-No one could pay me enough to do this job for the rest of my life

 

[Depakote]

The more brilliant the PI, the harder it is to nail them down for a LOR they've promised to write for you.

 

[don juan]

After 3 years (2 summers+1year full time) in the lab I've learned that:
-The current NIH grant review system is complete crap
-Macs are better than PC's because they're shinier
-Researchers get so little respect from clinicians that it makes me sick
-No one in my institution outside of research actually even knows that research is going on
-My liver hurts from my co-workers' drinking habits
-Some of the coolest developments come completely by accident
-Submitting a publication is the most anti-climactic event of my life
-Some post-docs can be real duesch bags. I'm not your f***ing cabana boy, nor am I your secretary. My job does not include running over to Staples for binder clips. Nor does it include babysitting your undergrads so that they dont break my $300k microscope. Nor does it include running around and collecting signatures for your 30th grant application this week. Just because you published 3 papers during your undergrad and have an adjunct faculty position at harvard doesnt give you the right to give me crap about being less productive than you were. You may eat, breathe and drink this stuff but this is only a job to me, when my 45-50 hour per week is up, I'm off the clock.
-Other post docs are the coolest people on earth because they take you fishing or give you red sox tickets or buy you beer!
-Technicians and grad students are the real scientists doing science, post-docs and PIs just come up with the experiments we do
-Research is a multi-billion dollar pissing match between really smart and stuborn people.
-Research, Baseball and porn are the only places where rediculous facial hair styles are acceptable every day.
-Western Blots suck to optimize
-There arent enough hot women in science
-Being slightly computer literate and knowing how to handle a screwdriver makes you more competant in life than a PhD
-I really dislike baby chickens. If I never decapitate another baby chicken again, I would be a happy man.
-Really pretty pictures get a paper published faster than solid stats
-They dont pay me enough to do what I do
-No one could pay me enough to do this job for the rest of my life

I'll second that, and I'll throw in never work for an MD researcher who splits time in the clinic unless they are well established...f$#*ing nightmare.

 

[ubcredfox]

I started research as an Honours thesis student. That went awesome. The people in my lab were fantastic and we got along really well. We got to be good friends and hung out quite a bit. The supervisor wasn't really around, so we were mostly doing are own thing. I got to find something new out about the protein I was working on. It was win, win. By far the best academic thing I did in 4th year.

Right about this time, I'm thinking "I can really do research." Nearly a year later, I know that I can't. I can't even stand the look of it anymore. I work as a tech now and it sucks. I don't get to run my own experiments, and do what others tell me. I feel like the lab monkey. No more research. No more long hours, no more painfully frustrating and usatisfying days.

What really got me is how much I can work in a given month and how little I can accomplish i.e. if the experiments don't work out...

Research is really stressful and hard; the people who do it are underappreciated and I feel for them. You really have to love it, in the purest sense of the word. You have to love the science; you can't like it - you have to be head over heals in love with it. Then you can handle the day to day trauma of the job.

 

[Thundrstorm]

I also learned the following:

If you stay late or come in on the weekend, your experiment will not work.

 

[gostudy]

it takes 3 times longer to get things done than expected.

Ain't that the truth!

 

[LJDHC05]

I also learned the following:

If you stay late or come in on the weekend, your experiment will not work.

Sooo true.

Dont forget that if you ask someone else to do something for you, it never gets done.

 

[jbing]

.

 

[pokeytu]

Whatever can go wrong will go wrong. You will never finish anything when you think you will, but in the end it is all worth it. I have been doing orthopaedic device testing and developing equipment for smaller clinics that are only available at large research hospitals and this has been a large discussion area in all of my interviews. I figure it can't hurt when applying to residency to already have several published papers. Plus you can get even more letters after your name.

 

[crazy_cavalier]

I'm not talking about anything science specific at all. So I'll start with my own example. I learned that PhD students often times don't know $#!t, but love to flaunt their supposed knowledge in front of undergraduates. However, when pressed to the issue in front of mentors, they mumble and provide a lot of excuses. I'm not going to lie, this is partly a way for me to b!tch about a PhD student I work with... because recently she informed me that liquid nitrogen is really just dry ice with some other things mixed in it. I mean seriously, how do some of these people get accepted into graduate programs?

wow.

Here's what I have learned:

1.) People are psychotic about their desk space.
2.) I suck at catheterizing mice carotid arteries.
3.) It is physically possible to (literally) turn a mouse inside out and harvest all its lymph nodes in less than 2 minutes.

 

[neom3x11]

-

 

[45408]

Someone even mouth pipeted! (but at least that didn't expose anyone else)

Haha, I've seen that lots of times, but they only do that with the media (LB or CYE), not with actual bacterial cultures.

 

[LJDHC05]

Haha, I've seen that lots of times, but they only do that with the media (LB or CYE), not with actual bacterial cultures.

A) isnt that really, really bad aseptic technique?
B) I'm pretty sure that pipetters arent that expensive. I'll give whoever you saw doing that a pipette bulb for free!!!


on an unrelated note, I've sac'd probably close to 1000 innocent baby chickens and lopped their heads off for their precious cochleae [insert maniacal laughter and finger tapping]. It really gets old after a while and it's more the bloodlust that they inspire that I dislike. I think my version of hell is going to be those little yellow puff-balls pecking my flesh for the rest of eternity.

For the record and my eventual death by PETA protest, everything I do is IACUC approved, as humane as possible and I do not take any pleasure. My bloodlust is a joke. Please dont report me to the MSPCA.

 

[ND2005]

A) isnt that really, really bad aseptic technique?
B) I'm pretty sure that pipetters arent that expensive. I'll give whoever you saw doing that a pipette bulb for free!!!

I'm pretty sure the post-docs in my lab don't understand how pipette bulbs work. If we didn't have the fancy auto-pipettors they'd be wandering around holding their serological pipettes with a confused look on their faces, like lost children.

 

[Depakote]

Our clinical research office is its own little hot zone.

If somebody comes into the office sick one day, it's guranteed that everybody will have had it by the end of the month.

Thank you crappy ventillation.

 

[Saluki]

I'm pretty sure the post-docs in my lab don't understand how pipette bulbs work. If we didn't have the fancy auto-pipettors they'd be wandering around holding their serological pipettes with a confused look on their faces, like lost children.

I probably would have lost my mind by now if it weren't for the autopipetters... I have not talent with the bulb... When I did analytical chemistry we had to do the bulb, and every time it went just a little above the line, then I'd have to let it out and it woudl go too far and then it would start all over again. I don't know whether I just have poor technique or the other people in the lab just weren't as anal about getting it perfect, but I was about to go crazy... Of course, I hate Analytical in general, especially with my lab TA who gave me a 50% on a huge lab reportbecause I missed a decimal point in my final answer

OK, the rant has ended....

One more thing that I learned from lab- I really love the part where you sterilize things with alcohol and fire... It's a satisfying feeling to feel like you're accomplishing things...

Oh and you can spend months upon months working like a dog expressing proteins that you will never get the chance to experiment on...

 

[Rogue Synapse]

-There arent enough hot women in science

Brother, you need to come to the University of South Carolina School of Medicine's grad school. They seriously must secretly prescreen any potential PhD candidates for hotness, must include a picture in the application or something. Starting to regret going over to the MD side of things, because dayum.

 

[LJDHC05]

Brother, you need to come to the University of South Carolina School of Medicine's grad school. They seriously must secretly prescreen any potential PhD candidates for hotness, must include a picture in the application or something. Starting to regret going over to the MD side of things, because dayum.

I'm doing my part to help by pre-screening all the applicants to replace me as a tech. So far, I'm leaving the guys in the lab with some very pleasant young ladies who I'm sure will be competent techs, if you get my meaning 😉

 

[relentless11]

What I learned so far as a PhD student doing research😉:

1) New meaning to slave labor.
2) When research is going well, its merely the calm before the storm
3) Regardless of how early you prepare for something, it will end up being finished at the last minute because someone else dropped the ball.
4) "You can do anything you set your mind to when you have the vision, determination, and an endless supply of expendable labor." In this case, the labor from my point-of-view as a grad student are undergrads😉 (http://images.despair.com/products/demotivators/achievement.jpg) However I do like my undergrads🙂
5) The university is overpaid. Why is there a 52.1% overhead charge for studies?
6) As someone inferred, NIH review process sucks.
7) I learned how to use Adobe Illustrator to make pretty figures for my publications.
8) I learned that writing publication sucks. Now willing to trade in publications for days off.
9) The fear of being kicked out of grad school because one gets a B- average really motivates one to get A's.
10) Something always goes wrong.

Yea, thats what I learned. More "bads" than "goods" but I'd wouldn't have it any other way. I think I'm learning something out of this...something that I can't grasp until later. 🙂

 

[MollyMalone]

I've learned that no matter what your level of education or expertise, everyone lives under the foul tyranny of the liquid nitrogen delivery guy. 🙂

 

[45408]

A) isnt that really, really bad aseptic technique?
B) I'm pretty sure that pipetters arent that expensive. I'll give whoever you saw doing that a pipette bulb for free!!!

Yes, probably, and the pipette bulbs are sitting right next to them, they just take a little longer to use.

I would feel terrible killing little yellow chicks. 🙁

 

[Thundrstorm]

One more thing that I learned from lab- I really love the part where you sterilize things with alcohol and fire... It's a satisfying feeling to feel like you're accomplishing things...

I love sterilizing things with flaming alcohol. I like playing with fire, and my research gives me an excuse to do so. I do a lot of immunofluorescent studies, where I need to grow cells on glass coverslips. So I have to individually sterilize 30 or 40 coverslips a few times per week, and I find it way more enjoyable than I should. I also have way too much fun making patterns with the sterilized coverslips in my tissue culture dishes. And every time I do this, I have to fight the strong urge to drop a flaming coverslip into my petri dish full of of EtoH and see what happens. The only thing stopping me is the story my PI told me my first week... about a summer student who somehow ignited a a whole bunch of spilled EtOh in the hood and started a fire. Hmmmm, I wonder if she saw the fire lust in my eyes, and made up that story to warn me.

 

[karirunner]

(1) Always do positive and negative controls the first time; if you don't and it doesn't work, you're going to have to do them anyway.
(2) Make sure your glass plating wand is cool b4 you dip it in back into ethanol. Thank god I still have eyebrows.
(3) If you don't know, say so, or risk being nailed on some point by your PI.
(4) Caffeine=productivity.
(5) I am really really good at lining up and injecting fly embryos.
(6) Apart from being toxic, DAB rocks.
(7) Most grad students and post-docs are great, helpful people.
(8) Research, while interesting, isn't for me.

 

[CADreaming06]

1)Choose your baymate/neighbor well, you might be sitting by this person for 6 years (and that can really suck if you don't like them).

2)Stop people pleasing - do the experiments that will get you out, cut out the ones "just to see" - its okay not to agree with everything your PI says, although find a way to express that diplomatically

3)Trust your intuition regarding a result - let your experiments tell you the truth regarding a question, rather than your expectations/hypothesis/PI's wishes

4)Establish mentor relationships outside your lab/PI - you'll have them forever, and they don't have the stress/expectations that your relationship with your PI has

5)Get your own space (yes, we are psychotic about our desks!)

6)Have a good friend in lab - it makes a world of difference when you are going through the hard times

 

[cadilakgrl]

1. Don't attempt to do an experiment when you're drunk 😛 Learned that one today when I broke a $300 stimulating electrode and burned a hole in my brain slice!

2. Oh and most important- I hate fantasy baseball!!!

 

[potato51]

I learned it's very likely that toward the end of your stint in a lab is when you start to produce your most significant results/findings, and the newbie you're training to take over your job will likely get the credit for it and get published in a hurry after you leave.

 

[LT2]

A) isnt that really, really bad aseptic technique?
B) I'm pretty sure that pipetters arent that expensive. I'll give whoever you saw doing that a pipette bulb for free!!!

it's not necessarily bad aseptic technique, your mouth is on the top of the pipette and the bottom of the pipette is in the sample. unless you spit into the pipette (you should only be sucking), it's not bad technique. for my master's degree, i worked in a lab with salmonella and the PI had some great stories of getting sick from mouth pipetting infectious typhimurium 😱 . pretty funny though. he also demonstrated he could accurately mouth pipette volumes of 50 ul! sorry for the rant...

 

[LJDHC05]

I would feel terrible killing little yellow chicks. 🙁

It gets easier after the first hundred or so, when you start to accept the fact that you actually are the worst human being alive and that you have no soul. I felt sick to my stomach the first couple times, now I find myself unconsciously gritting my teeth in disgust when I'm injecting the pentabarb and decapitating. Anyway, I should go deafen some chickens now. Peace out home skillet.

On a side note, putting my mouth anywhere near glassware just creeps me out, because I know the guy that does most of the dishes in the lab(me). How did your PI mouth pipette 50 ul accurately, I dont even trust my recently calibrated pipetter for that. You microbiologist types are CRAZY.

 

[Depakote]

I would feel terrible killing little yellow chicks. 🙁

Face it. It's them or you.

A little yellow chick would kill you and everybody you ever loved given half the chance.

Bastards.

 

[lilmissangel]

I learned to not volunteer in a research lab if I don't have any lab experience (freshman yr) because you are bound to get assigned a really unpleasant task (gassing poor little mice). They twitch and twitch..... 🙁
altho i'm sure its not as nightmare inducing as decapitating little chicks- oh, I feel ur pain

 

[Thundrstorm]

I learned to not volunteer in a research lab if I don't have any lab experience (freshman yr) because you are bound to get assigned a really unpleasant task (gassing poor little mice). They twitch and twitch..... 🙁
altho i'm sure its not as nightmare inducing as decapitating little chicks- oh, I feel ur pain

That's why you leave the room during the twitching part; I learned that on day one.

 

[LJDHC05]

we do IP injections of pentabarbitol straight into the heart. they go right down most of the time. when I miss, I have to leave the room because it bothers me ALOT. The birds do alot more than twitch when I miss the heart shot. Thankfully, only 15 weeks of this left until school!

I wont share my nightmare story with the post, because I dont want to gross people out and launch a PETA protest at myself. PM me if you want to hear it though because it's interesting.

 

[Saluki]

I love sterilizing things with flaming alcohol. I like playing with fire, and my research gives me an excuse to do so. I do a lot of immunofluorescent studies, where I need to grow cells on glass coverslips. So I have to individually sterilize 30 or 40 coverslips a few times per week, and I find it way more enjoyable than I should. I also have way too much fun making patterns with the sterilized coverslips in my tissue culture dishes. And every time I do this, I have to fight the strong urge to drop a flaming coverslip into my petri dish full of of EtoH and see what happens. The only thing stopping me is the story my PI told me my first week... about a summer student who somehow ignited a a whole bunch of spilled EtOh in the hood and started a fire. Hmmmm, I wonder if she saw the fire lust in my eyes, and made up that story to warn me.

It's funny, my lab supervisor told me the story of the kid who put the flaming glass rod back into the container of ethanol afterwards and set the whole thing on fire. Ever since I heard that story, I've wanted to do the same thing on purpose 😛 But if he'd never told me the story I wouldn't have even thought about it...

 

[SwineLake98]

Be nice to your lab manager...if you're like me, you'll be visiting him/her a lot.

Ask intelligent questions if you're doing a new technique on your own (so that you do it right and don't have to set aside another 2 days to re-run it), but don't even expect anyone to hold your hand and walk you through...people have more respect for you that way.

There will always be something that you didn't anticipate or account for that comes up during your project and it results in a few weeks of a possibly frustrating detour.

If your lab doesn't have a radio, get an mp3 player.

Laptops kick ass for organizing data, but your lab notebook should still be your best friend.

 

[Rogue Synapse]

I felt sick to my stomach the first couple times, now I find myself unconsciously gritting my teeth in disgust when I'm injecting the pentabarb and decapitating.

Try rapid decapitation, our technique of choice. We do some sensitive phosphorylation assays in the brain, and we can't perfuse or anaesthetize the animals due to the chemical changes those processes induce. SO we just quickly cut off their heads, very quickly dissect out their brains, and quick-freeze the tissue. They're fully awake, and you have to just ram them in the guillotine and do it quick. If you're good and calm, they never know anything's wrong. My stomach still turns every time I have to do this. On the occasions when I get to decap sleeping rats, it's definitely a walk in the park.

 

[docbill]

OOOOhhh the bad and the worst of research.

I must say I still feel uneasy about killing mice for my expriments. After all these years, I have become more sensitive to this, and actually become more stingy with the expriments I do, and I use the tissue for the maximum use.

My comments:

1)Choose your baymate/neighbor well, you might be sitting by this person for 6 years (and that can really suck if you don't like them).

I WOULD SAY CHOOSE YOUR DIRECTOR/PI and LAB MANAGER carefuly. You neighbor you can always ignore or make his life difficult. But YOU NEED PI AND MANGER ON YOUR SIDE.

2)Stop people pleasing - do the experiments that will get you out, cut out the ones "just to see" - its okay not to agree with everything your PI says, although find a way to express that diplomatically

It is okay and important not to agree with everything your PI says. BUT you need to be good to do this and be able to back it up with evidence and production. If after 2 years on your own.. you are not producing anything of value... listen to your PI.

Saying no to people is optional. I say give and take. If you are to do something for someone, make sure it counts as a favor and a possiblity for them to do something back.

Also be clear that you get recognized on thier papers/abstracts.

Also diplomacy is BEST.. it doesn't always work. In some places you have to be strong and insistant to get your way.. BUT again, I would not do this, unless you are good and are capable of standing up for your work and most importantly you have PI and manager on your side.

3)Trust your intuition regarding a result - let your experiments tell you the truth regarding a question, rather than your expectations/hypothesis/PI's wishes

WELL... Hmmm I can write a book about this.... but definitely keep your eyes open to unexpected results. Those are the big ones. YES, let your experiment change your original hypothesis as you go along. This is one place where admitting that you are wrong.. is OKAY.

4)Establish mentor relationships outside your lab/PI - you'll have them forever, and they don't have the stress/expectations that your relationship with your PI has

BIGGGG TIME. I WOULD SAY IF POSSIBLE. Have 3 mentors. 1 your PI, 2 outside. It is hard to have a career mentor, but there are some senior PI out there that still like doing this. Make sure you pick one that wants to be.

5)Get your own space (yes, we are psychotic about our desks!)

IMPORTANT. I HAVE A PARAMETER AROUND MINE, if you cross you get shot.

6)Have a good friend in lab - it makes a world of difference when you are going through the hard times.

As important as all of the above combined. In RESEARCH one can go psychotic... so a good friend will talk you down or prevent you from going postal on everyone.