When 1 rejection hurt more than the others...

[mdvargas]

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I just got a snail mail rejection letter from the school I really had my heart set into. I cried without console, realizing how much it meant for me to interview there and get accepted. I've received a few rejections already, having felt my ego being bruised from them but soon forgotten. I thought I was prepared for the emotional (and financial mind you) aspects of this app. process but I guess you can't be too sure. I'll get over it eventually, knowing there's a dim chance for an acceptance this cycle or many possibilities for the next…..and so the grieving is on. Ever considered reasons why a (or certain) rejections felt like knife stabs in the stomach?

 

[Dr JPH]

Ever considered reasons why a (or certain) rejections felt like knife stabs in the stomach?

You get too worked up about one place.

 

[4paw]

Judgement has never helped me grieve. So please ignore the above post. What I'm reading in your post is the wrapped-up possibilities of not getting in this year. Hanging in there in a process that is uber-judgemental - that was my stuff at times, still is! I have always hated interviews, phobic of them. And the rejection afterwards is hard. I was wondering myself how come when i went to a particular interview, i decided i was just going for the experience, since it was a longshot, and now i'm hoping that they'll accept me. my partner responded, 'human nature!' there have been some schools that hurt more than others for me. maybe you put hope in this one, so the other rejections wouldn't feel bad, because there was this one. who knows. but i do know this brutal process really well, and greiving's a good thing, in my books. it helps you stay in touch with your feelings when stuff is hard. that's important down the line. we've got a healthcare system totally out of touch with hanging in there. So hang in there!

EDIT: even though the last piece of advice comes from a moderator, etc. etc. i still say, ignore! unless the person includes themself in their feedback, the feedback is a judgement and often not helpful and can be interpreted as nasty. maybe the guy is feelin' for you, but i wouldn't know because they haven't included themself. moderator! what do you mean "you get too worked up over one school" - you answering the simple question? or offering support? what's going on with your post?

 

[mdvargas]

. maybe you put hope in this one, so the other rejections wouldn't feel bad, because there was this one.

Gosh, so true. Some people may have thought I looking forward to getting accepted there was excessive optimism but to me it was a motivator. Thanks for your supportive feedback.

 

[Punkn]

Judgement has never helped me grieve. So please ignore the above post. What I'm reading in your post is the wrapped-up possibilities of not getting in this year. Hanging in there in a process that is uber-judgemental - that was my stuff at times, still is! I have always hated interviews, phobic of them. And the rejection afterwards is hard. I was wondering myself how come when i went to a particular interview, i decided i was just going for the experience, since it was a longshot, and now i'm hoping that they'll accept me. my partner responded, 'human nature!' there have been some schools that hurt more than others for me. maybe you put hope in this one, so the other rejections wouldn't feel bad, because there was this one. who knows. but i do know this brutal process really well, and greiving's a good thing, in my books. it helps you stay in touch with your feelings when stuff is hard. that's important down the line. we've got a healthcare system totally out of touch with hanging in there. So hang in there!

EDIT: even though the last piece of advice comes from a moderator, etc. etc. i still say, ignore! unless the person includes themself in their feedback, the feedback is a judgement and often not helpful and can be interpreted as nasty. maybe the guy is feelin' for you, but i wouldn't know because they haven't included themself. moderator! what do you mean "you get too worked up over one school" - you answering the simple question? or offering support? what's going on with your post?

I think the mod was answering the question "why do some rejections make you feel like you've been stabbed in the stomach?". His/Her answer was that rejections hurt that much when you really set your heart on/get worked up about one particular school. You get so excited about it and then it doesn't happen, so of course it's painful!

 

[4paw]

Glad to get a friendly revision. I like the revision better than the origional 'too' worked up.

OP, in case you'd like to hear stories of grief, to the tune of 'too' squared, some of my memorable ones were:

1) laying full-out on a floor with tears streaming down, and the fellow members of my training group just witnessing the grief. i was training as a therapist throughout the last few years, so i really got to go for gold with my emotions about these application things. felt good. especially when i could 'yeah, but' anything they said. i declared that i would no longer try to become a doctor, and meant it. and then the tears came - because these kinds of goals are no little matter, and giving up on them is a huge, huge deal. a month later, i decided to keep trying. but that moment, baby, that moment! that was the year i got no interviews

2)last year i started applying to the states, late, and got two interviews. i interviewed at one school, and got rejected there before hearing about the second interview. so i finally had my shot. and got shot down. when i found out, i went out walking. felt weak, didn't want to go on. thought about how wonderful oblivion would be, not having to keep getting back in the saddle, angry that that wasn't an option, didn't know what i wanted to do instead. thought about how nice it would be to be a rock. just a rock, nothing more. so i just started walking and walking for an hour. when i got home i wrote an imaginary letter to patch adams telling him all about stupid admissions committees, etc. never did mail that puppy! also wrote a poem cursing admissions committee members in a truly memorable couples therapy session. my partner cursed her bosses in a poem, then we read each other's poems out loud to each other. while i was reading hers, I placed a '****' in exactly the right place, and she loved the addition, it really gave the poem some extra zing. and i love swearing, too. the contents of my poem had something to do with Zeus blighting the school that did not see my worth. felt good.

as i write that, i remember a henry rollins stand-up, he talks about getting dumped, so dressing all in black, tying a towel around his neck as a super-hero, putting one leg up on a chair, then writing dark poetry, with black ink, on black paper, then later trying to read the thing, by holding it up to the light and squinting trying to read the glint off the ink.

this year, who knows.

 

[bubabugster]

Glad to get a friendly revision. I like the revision better than the origional 'too' worked up.

OP, in case you'd like to hear stories of grief, to the tune of 'too' squared, some of my memorable ones were:

1) laying full-out on a floor with tears streaming down, and the fellow members of my training group just witnessing the grief. i was training as a therapist throughout the last few years, so i really got to go for gold with my emotions about these application things. felt good. especially when i could 'yeah, but' anything they said. i declared that i would no longer try to become a doctor, and meant it. and then the tears came - because these kinds of goals are no little matter, and giving up on them is a huge, huge deal. a month later, i decided to keep trying. but that moment, baby, that moment! that was the year i got no interviews

2)last year i started applying to the states, late, and got two interviews. i interviewed at one school, and got rejected there before hearing about the second interview. so i finally had my shot. and got shot down. when i found out, i went out walking. felt weak, didn't want to go on. thought about how wonderful oblivion would be, not having to keep getting back in the saddle, angry that that wasn't an option, didn't know what i wanted to do instead. thought about how nice it would be to be a rock. just a rock, nothing more. so i just started walking and walking for an hour. when i got home i wrote an imaginary letter to patch adams telling him all about stupid admissions committees, etc. never did mail that puppy! also wrote a poem cursing admissions committee members in a truly memorable couples therapy session. my partner cursed her bosses in a poem, then we read each other's poems out loud to each other. while i was reading hers, I placed a '****' in exactly the right place, and she loved the addition, it really gave the poem some extra zing. and i love swearing, too. the contents of my poem had something to do with Zeus blighting the school that did not see my worth. felt good.

as i write that, i remember a henry rollins stand-up, he talks about getting dumped, so dressing all in black, tying a towel around his neck as a super-hero, putting one leg up on a chair, then writing dark poetry, with black ink, on black paper, then later trying to read the thing, by holding it up to the light and squinting trying to read the glint off the ink.

this year, who knows.

Well, I hope you get in! Meanwhile, that's so cute-- you wanted to become a rock? 😳

 

[Tired Pigeon]

Of course it absolutely sucks, especially if it was one of your top picks and you felt like you had a good shot. Keep in mind that so much of the application process is a crapshoot. A rejection to a particular program may have to do with a lack of qualifications or a deficiency in your application, but it could also be due to something completely beyond your control (e.g., your reminded your interviewer of someone that picked on them back in grade school.)

I know some people who inexplicably didn't get in the first time around -- well-qualified, well-rounded applicants with great GPAs, MCATs, ECs, LORs, etc. I also know some people who inexplicably DID get in -- generally somewhat deficient in some/all of the above areas. The point is, this process is not entirely in your control, so focus on what you can control. For example, how might your application be strengthened for the next app cycle? When you feel up to it, contact the admissions offices at places that rejected you and ask for their advice on how your application could be made better -- many places are fairly receptive to this approach, and it could give you an edge for next year.

Your future path will depend not on what happened, but on how you choose to deal with it going forward. Best of luck to you -- I hope everything works out.

 

[PugMD]

I'm sorry to hear you are so beat up about this, but it's a reality of the process. So much time and effort goes into preparing your resume for the application process and it's a tough beat when things don't work out.

Have you been accepted elsewhere?

 

[mdvargas]

Have you been accepted elsewhere?

No, and so I think that letter took a great part in things getting intensified to the max. Later today after my crying marathon I took a warm bath, eat a snack before popping in some aspirings and fell asleep for a few hrs., in an effort to calm down. I feel a tad better now but it's gonna take some time before telling people with my emotions under control. There are feelings of defeat and shame right now but knowing me, that desire to get up from the fall and kick some behind will be on focus before I know it 🙂

 

[e_phn]

I just got a snail mail rejection letter from the school I really had my heart set into. I cried without console, realizing how much it meant for me to interview there and get accepted. I've received a few rejections already, having felt my ego being bruised from them but soon forgotten. I thought I was prepared for the emotional (and financial mind you) aspects of this app. process but I guess you can't be too sure. I'll get over it eventually, knowing there's a dim chance for an acceptance this cycle or many possibilities for the next…..and so the grieving is on. Ever considered reasons why a (or certain) rejections felt like knife stabs in the stomach?

Think a rejection as an obstacle in life...More importantly, obstacles are there to make you a stronger person. You take things less personally which is a good lesson in life...Hope that helps.

 

[melissainsd]

It took my waitlist (felt like a rejection) from a particular school to realize it was secretly y top choice (a secret even from me). Since my sig has a link to my mdapplication it won't be hard to crack my code. Anyway, I am still up at night about it. I even thought of offering my first born to the school, but my son is really cute. So my husband has sent me to the spa for a massage, body wrap, manicure and pedicure. My appointment starts in an hour. I may still be bummed, but I will be bummed with soft skin and shiny nails.

And to those that post about this being "part of the process". No s#!t. We'll be bummed and eventually move on. There is nothing wrong with a little pity party.