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When to get married?

Started by chemistryiscool
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chemistryiscool

chemistryiscool

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5+ Year Member
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I'm looking for some advice about when to get married during medical school. I know a lot of people do, and was hoping for some input about how different times worked for people and what you would do differently in planning. I would like to do it before my friends from school move for rotations third year, but I don't know how realistic that is because of boards. With a wedding planner, would it still be ill-advised to get married the summer after second year (after boards)?
 
I got married between first and second year and it worked out for me. You actually have a summer off and its easy to work out travel and honeymoon and stuff like that. You could hypothetically do it after boards second year but the period just before that you are going to be breaking your butt to study, and will not want to be involved in planning a wedding. You would also probably have to cut a week or two off of your board study schedule (which isn't necessarily the worst thing)

One of my friends is getting married in the middle of 3rd year, not sure how that is going to go for him.
 
chemistryiscool said:
I'm looking for some advice about when to get married during medical school. I know a lot of people do, and was hoping for some input about how different times worked for people and what you would do differently in planning. I would like to do it before my friends from school move for rotations third year, but I don't know how realistic that is because of boards. With a wedding planner, would it still be ill-advised to get married the summer after second year (after boards)?
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I will be getting married in a couple of months right after boards at the end of 2nd year. With that being said, I have done and will be doing practically none of the planning and my only job will be to show up on the day of. This means that my dedicated will be a little shorter than it would have been otherwise but my study period is still plenty in my opinion. I have heard of people getting married in any sliver of free time throughout the 4 years. However, most of the marriages I have heard of were between 1st and 2nd year. It's not easy and can be stressful but that's just how it goes.
 
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chemistryiscool said:
I'm looking for some advice about when to get married during medical school. I know a lot of people do, and was hoping for some input about how different times worked for people and what you would do differently in planning. I would like to do it before my friends from school move for rotations third year, but I don't know how realistic that is because of boards. With a wedding planner, would it still be ill-advised to get married the summer after second year (after boards)?
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My advice is to do it after Boards.

I had one student fail COMLEX because she got so involved in wedding planning, that it was to her detriment
 
chemistryiscool said:
I'm looking for some advice about when to get married during medical school. I know a lot of people do, and was hoping for some input about how different times worked for people and what you would do differently in planning. I would like to do it before my friends from school move for rotations third year, but I don't know how realistic that is because of boards. With a wedding planner, would it still be ill-advised to get married the summer after second year (after boards)?
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Do you already have the person to marry?
 
I'm literally doing it a week after boards. Kinda a grind, but we've been engaged for a long time so all the planning is has been done early on. If you're gonna choose my route, you gotta make sure you plan out early. I would've preferred not to do it this way, but its the only way that worked.
 
If you’ve found someone you want to marry and who wants to marry you...how about this winter. Winter break. Nice winter wedding. Then you don’t have to spend a year or *two years* being insane about party planning, and can move forward with your marriage (as opposed to your wedding reception).

Of course your wedding is a special and important event but you can easily plan a tasteful special event in 6-8 MONTHS. And then you can be married which is after all the point right?
 
I love the concern about whether I have someone to marry. Yes, I do. I wish I could do it the summer after 1st year but that's too soon for me. Maybe winter break is the move. Thanks for the advice!
 
I got married in May after M1, as did others in my class. Another popular time was winter break in M2. I do know of a couple of people getting married the very end of June between boards and rotations, but they have $$$$/resources/family/planners that make it easier to just show up for the events as mentioned above.
 
I guess this wouldn't be technically while "in school", but our plan is to get married the summer after I graduate before starting residency. Seems like the most flexible time, and since I would want my family to be involved in the planning and stuff and I live away now, 4th year seems like it would provide the most freedom to do that.
 
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Never.

Divorce sucks ass and the docs I know who are still working their asses off when they should be retired are cause of the sad fact they gots that settlement to pay off.

but congrats tho!

(Edit: Before the butthurt police come thru... it was a joke. Do your thing if that's your thing. Today was a long day on the inpatient psych unit...)

(Edit #2: the only woman my heart will ever have love and lust for is @Winged Scapula )

I can be her primary care doc and she could be... "the patient in my waiting roommmm, never payin' attention to all the rumors and what they assummeeee" *drake voice*.
 
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Chibucks15 said:
I mean there’s also plenty of really happy married docs....we don’t have to completely **** on marriage haha
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Oh I'm happily married and have been for 8 years. I am merely aware of how many juvenile, selfish ass.holes are in my class and I don't think many of them have the stones to stick out a marriage when the going gets tough.

Although I certainly hope to be proven wrong.
 
Careful with the “between second and third year” plan, as there may not be a “between” (there really wasn’t at my school, especially if you were in the majority of people who had to move).

Popular times seemed to be after first year, vacation block 3rd year, vacation block 4th year, and right after graduation (although if you have to move for residency, that one’s a little tricky, too).
 
Being married is great. The wedding was fun 16 years ago. Engaged in June and married in December, with all our family and friends and a nice reception that looks pretty in the album my kids look through now. I don’t get how people can or want to wait so long, even years, to get married to the person they know they want to marry? It’s just a ceremony/sacrament followed by a dinner party with dancing, its not the Olympics that you need Years to plan.
 
So my fiancée and I got engaged first year. Gonna get married a week after boards for me (gasp). Nice part is, we’ve been engaged for over a year, allowing us time to plan literally everything before dedicated time. It’s pricey (because of where we’re having it) but we both lived at home for a couple years between undergrad and med school and saved some cash.

Wouldn’t change it for a second. You don’t need a fancy wedding planner or anything. Just give yourself enough time to plan things before boards time and you’ll do just fine. My mindset though is I’m only doing this once so it’s gonna be what I want it to be. To each their own though
 
sunshinefl said:
My wedding was around $30K and I planned it all myself over a 10 month engagement during 1st year. It was perfect, we loved it, and the guests loved it.
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Go you I'm impressed you planned it all on your own (but HOW?). Any tips or tricks you can share on how you did this? I've heard planning is the hardest part.
 
Igray97 said:
Go you I'm impressed you planned it all on your own (but HOW?). Any tips or tricks you can share on how you did this? I've heard planning is the hardest part.
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I’m naturally very organized. So I had a spread sheet file with tabs for guest info, vendors, items to buy, schedules, payments, etc. Basically stay organized and make checklists. The actual picking is the fun part!
 
I did it over like 14 months and had it a week after boards. I’m still tired but it was about as perfect as it could be. My wife planned out the little details leading up to it though when I was hidden away in the office. It’s doable.

The thing with medical education is that there isn’t a good time for anything. No good time to plan a wedding, no good time for kids, etc. My mindset is to not let it control your life more than it already does and just live. Sure you may not be a neurosurgeon at an ivory tower, but you’ll make plenty money as a doctor no matter what, and be a lot happier having not sold your soul and missed out on relationships, kids, and all that
 
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My wife and I planned our wedding in 3 months, it cost less than $10k, and it was featured in a bridal magazine. Weddings don't have to be crazy. We only invited family and a few close friends. I would do it exactly the same in a heartbeat.

We got married on a Friday during the school year (not med school, mind you), had our honeymoon over Winter break because we wanted to be married and my wife didn't want a winter wedding.
 
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