When Wiccans Attack

[tkim]

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Had a patient who totally thought a gang of roving wiccans had sexually assaulted her by breaking into her apartment and causing her to fall asleep before attacking her.

Me: "Well, wiccans are actually not violent, and are more druidic. I find it hard to believe that wiccans did this to you."

Pt: "How do you know so much about wiccans?"

Me: "I saw a show about them on The Learning Channel."

Pt: "Oh, but these were south Buffalo wiccans."

Me: "Okay, that's different. Why didn't you say that in the first place."

Pt: "I'm weariing tin foil on my head to block out the rays my upstairs neighbor is beaming through the ceiling."

Me: "You should use an aluminum colander instead - it's got holes for ventilation and is more friendly environmentally."

Pt: "Did you see a show on that too?"

Me: "No, I learned that from Google."

 

[Praziquantel86]

I hear that there's an exact replica of Stonehenge next to the botanical gardens in Lackawanna.

 

[illegallysmooth]

had a patient who totally thought a gang of roving wiccans had sexually assaulted her by breaking into her apartment and causing her to fall asleep before attacking her.

Me: "well, wiccans are actually not violent, and are more druidic. I find it hard to believe that wiccans did this to you."

pt: "how do you know so much about wiccans?"

me: "i saw a show about them on the learning channel."

pt: "oh, but these were south buffalo wiccans."

me: "okay, that's different. Why didn't you say that in the first place."

pt: "i'm weariing tin foil on my head to block out the rays my upstairs neighbor is beaming through the ceiling."

me: "you should use an aluminum colander instead - it's got holes for ventilation and is more friendly environmentally."

pt: "did you see a show on that too?"

me: "no, i learned that from google."

yikes!

 

[tkim]

I hear that there's an exact replica of Stonehenge next to the botanical gardens in Lackawanna.

 

[jbar]

So the real thing will look exactly the same? I don't understand, this is it, you wrote down 16 inches.

 

[Smashweasel]

Full sized replicas outside San Antonio in Hunt, Tx.

 

[RepairTech]

Had a patient who totally thought a gang of roving wiccans had sexually assaulted her by breaking into her apartment and causing her to fall asleep before attacking her.

Me: "Well, wiccans are actually not violent, and are more druidic. I find it hard to believe that wiccans did this to you."

Pt: "How do you know so much about wiccans?"

Me: "I saw a show about them on The Learning Channel."

Pt: "Oh, but these were south Buffalo wiccans."

Me: "Okay, that's different. Why didn't you say that in the first place."

Pt: "I'm weariing tin foil on my head to block out the rays my upstairs neighbor is beaming through the ceiling."

Me: "You should use an aluminum colander instead - it's got holes for ventilation and is more friendly environmentally."

Pt: "Did you see a show on that too?"

Me: "No, I learned that from Google."

I bow to your greatness.

I've met a few people over the years with delusions. One guy was convinced some frequency was being beamed to him and keeping him awake - it was about him since it was just in his house, not other places. So, I said, Well, you understand RF right? Build a Faraday cage, see if it changes when you're in that. If that's not it, maybe it's ultrasound, get a good mic/transducer and a 'scope and see if you can find it. The upshot was, he had a problem but didn't want to try to track it down, and I think most probably the "frequency" was internally generated. This guy was mild, I've run into a couple of extreme ones. And as an EMT, I'll get to meet lots of people with delusions and various problems that make them social outcasts.

Your dialogue though.... greatness.

 

[Katydid]

Ahhh yes, I love the delusional ones!

IANAD, nor do I play one.....but I deliver for a local pharmacy.

I've been on the job for three weeks now, and I tell you what, we have some, errr, "fascinating" people. Most people I deliver to are very nice, and like me because I'm personable and polite. But, there's one or two who just ain't right....like our resident nutcase.

No, I'm serious. She's actually mentally ill, DSM-IV diagnosis, and I'm not sure what her diagnosis is, but she's not stable at ALL.

So, the first time I delivered, I was told that she was not all there, and to look for her payment where she left it, and leave the delivery in the same place...per her instructions. I HATE doing that, because I worry that someone's going to steal her prescription.

The second time? I actually met her. And without anyone telling me anything about her, she gave off the vibe that she was not exactly stable, or all there. She was either in a good mood, or I impressed her with my politeness. I yes ma'am-ed her to death, and was somewhat deferential to her.

But yeah, there were things she said to me that just made me go, "aroo?" Like, her talking about seeing a therapist because her husband was bugging her. Ummm, I happen to know that they got divorced YEARS ago. And I mean several decades, k?

And there were other things she said that just made my radar ping. I'm amazed that I managed to talk to her and keep a friendly smile on my face, as opposed to having my eyebrows go up into my hairline!

But yeah, apparently, you gotta watch out for those ex-husbands. And South Buffalo Wiccans.

 

[Apollyon]

Pt: "Oh, but these were south Buffalo wiccans."

As all politics is local, you need a little backstory. Buffalo is heavily Catholic. South Buffalo was always heavily Irish. In the 70s and 80s, South Buffalo had 1/9 of the population of the city - but 1/4 of city JOBS were held by people living in South Buffalo. When Jimmy Griffin was mayor (for 4 terms), he lived on a street in South Buffalo that was the dividing line between Buffalo and Lackawanna (he lived on the north side, and the middle of the street was the city line) - that would be like Gracie Mansion being in the North Bronx, right at Westchester County.

South Buffalo wiccans are "hooked up".

 

[Midwest Medic]

There is also a large sized (1/2 scale, 5/6 scale??) replica of Stonehenge just down the street from me, in the front yard of one of our orthopedic surgeons house.