Who better than doctors to deal with death?

[Kr#36]

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I've very recently lost my grandfather quite suddenly (though he did have plenty of medical problems throughout the past 20 years) and am having trouble coping. My biological father left my mother when he found out she was pregnant and I've never met him. I was lucky enough to have a grandfather that was as much of a father to me as any father could be.

I've also been lucky enough to have never dealt with the death of someone this close to me up to this point. How do you deal with it? As I type I realize I probably know the answer, but it means something to hear from others who have been in your position.

 

[Crito]

First, I am so very sorry for your loss <3

I know its not a one-size-fits-all solution, but speaking to a counselor at my undergrad when I was in a similar situation was incredibly helpful. It was free too! Are you in school, and would your school have a psychologist/non-academic counselor you could see?

 

[Holmwood]

Even if people expect it, no one's really prepared for the death of a loved one.

It's been 2 years since my uncle passed away, but the pain I feel may not compare to what you are feeling right now.

It sounds like you were very close to your grandfather. You and your grandfather have shared many memories together over the years-- some happy and some painful. You mentioned that he has taken care of you when your own father could not, and he has supported you in so many ways as a father to you even with his medical problems. He has given you so many reasons to love him, and it sounds like his passing has devastated you. Given that he is such a special person to you and your remaining family, it is all right to cry, be angry, be frustrated, be mentally and physically exhausted, and find it a challenge to be happy again.

It can be scary to remember him again; it's painful to think of him again when he has passed away so suddenly. Maybe you start to blame yourself a little for what happened and what you didn't do... lord knows I have. It can take time to regain some of your old strength and the courage to remember little by little. In the meantime, take the time to take care of yourself. Sleep, eat, drink. Don't continue with life so fast; take it slow. You deserve to have the time to rest.


Because of how important he was in your life, sometimes it can be overwhelming to handle it on your own. Don't be afraid to reach out. Talk to someone close to you or someone who is close to your grandfather. If you don't have anyone to talk to or you are uncomfortable talking to people in person about it, I can connect you to some free resources that can help sort through your feelings and thoughts. Just PM/DM me.