Here's my story:
However, my high school was very poor in math and science, and I got very discouraged in my study of phyiscs and chemistry. I found studying science very intimidating, and wasn't sure at all that I could cut the pre-med requirements in college. In college, because of my poor foundation, I attempted to get through the pre-med requirements, but when I hit chemistry 2 I decided to drop the whole thing. Science seemed to be kicking my butt, and it was making my life miserable at the time. Plus, I didn't have the world's strongest work ethic, and was pretty distracted by the social life that college had to offer.
After I dropped pre-med, I decided to major in poli sci, and like many good poli sci majors, took the LSAT, did well, applied and got into law school. I had no idea what lawyers did, I had never even met a lawyer, but I decided that law school sounded like a good enough idea, even though I really knew very little about what studying the law would really be like. Unlike med school admissions, law school admissions does not encourage or require you to get "clinical experience" in the law before applying to make sure it's for you. Had that been a requirement, I would have realized very quickly that I had zero interest in the law right off the bat. However, like most other graduating seniors, I really had no concrete ideas of what I wanted to do with my life or what would have been a good fit, and I succumbed to the pressure to just go to grad school to ride out my career explorations for a few years. I figured I'd find something I liked in the law--why wouldn't I? However, that didn't happen.
I knew it was a bad sign when a few weeks before law school started, I received an orientation packet of cases to read, took one look through them, decided they were too boring to read, and threw them in the trash. The first week of law school, I realized that I was bored out of my mind with the material and could not for the life of me "get into" studying the law. I just found the law really, really boring. However, I persevered. I spent my law school summers working in legal settings, trying very hard to find a practice area that kept my interest. I attempted to try to get interested in my law classes, but I did not take a single class or elective that interested me. I shadowed dozens of lawyer alums, did informaitonal interviews with lawyer alums, and worked with my career services office at my law school extensively. But I could not find a single practice area that sounded even the least bit appealing. There was not a single experience I had in law school that led me to believe I could last more than a week as a practicing lawyer without dreading my work and being completely bored. So I decided that the law was simply just not for me, and decided I would not take the bar or participate in third year on-campus interviewing for after law school jobs.
So, after doing a lot of soul-searching and realizing that I'd never find an area in the law that interested me, I began looking into other careers. I thought back to my childhood interest in medicine, and realized that even though I tried to "drop" it after my pre-med experience in college, it never quite went away. It was always in the back of my mind, an interest that I thought about often. I realized that when I read for pleasure, my reading selections were usually either science or medicine. I realized that I read the health section of CNN first out of all the other sections and that I subscribed to several health related email newsletters. I realized that my favorite topic was health and medicine after all, and the field offered everything I was looking for: a nurturing, healing environment, my love of the human body and studying how it worked, my love of talking to people and helping them, my love of not having a desk job, and my interest in doing something that I felt mattered greatly to society.
Right after law school ended, much to the chagrin of my family, I enrolled in a post-bacc program, did not take the bar exam, and spent the next 1.5 years completing all my pre-med requirements with flying colors, took the MCAT twice, and volunteered in free clinics, hosptials, shadowing, etc. Then after that I took a job in the hosptial (minimum wage, direct patient interaction job) and loved my experience there. Then that ended, and I'm currently working retail part-time while job-searching full-time. I've had a bunch of interviews in the last few weeks, all of them for more hospital jobs (which ironically really seems to be all I'm qualified for now, given that most of my resume is healthcare experiences + my one post-law school job in the hospital.)
Overall, though, my job in the hosptial was both good and bad: good in that I realized I loved working with patients and loved the hospital environment. I felt more at home in the hospital (I worked in the post-op area) than I had ever felt in a law office or any other legal setting. I looked forward to going to work every day. I loved helping patients as best I could. I loved being around doctors and nurses so much more than lawyers; I realized that I felt really at home in my position and in the healthcare setting. On the other hand, the job really put some doubts into my mind as to whether or not I truly want to devote the next 8 years of my life to hard-core studying and "starting over from scratch" at age 30 as much as I thought I did when I first started the post-bacc. In my job, the attendings pretty much let me stand next to the med students and take the instruction with them; I saw a lot of bad things in terms of attending-med student interaction--i.e. med students getting screamed at, ignored, beaten down through humiliation and exhaustion, and overall disgruntledness, that I wondered whether or not I could take that kind of treatment as a 30-year old. I saw bitter, pissed off doctors who seemed to really despise their jobs. I had female physician mentors who were so defensive and exhausted all the time that I wondered if I wanted to go that route. That, and seeing my resident husband basically having a really rough time with residency for the past 4 years. Honestly, when I see my hubby come home exhausted--nearly every day--and see him do Q4 call, I wonder whether I'll be able to handle that as a 35-year old mom. I've seen firsthand by being the spouse of a resident just how much residency takes out of you. My husband rarely gets to do anything fun and is pretty much exhausted 24-7. Residency from the spouse's view (and his as well) has been way harder than either of us expected it would be. As much as I love medicine, I really don't know if the trade-off is worth it, starting at my age--28 now, 30 by starting date probably. I'm currently keeping medicine open, but am also seriously looking at dentistry, and some other non-medical, non-legal careers (like publishing, non-profit work, etc.) I for sure do not ever want to practice law, but there are some other areas of work that do interest me, although not as much as medicine does. No job is the "perfect" job I've realized, they all have their plusses and minuses. As I get older, being a well-rounded person is becoming more and more important to me. I realize that had I chosen the law, I probably would have changed careers by now anyway. I really value my down time and am not sure I want a job that is always coming home with you. I don't know if I want to spend all my free time studying for 8 years. I don't know if I want to not read a book for pleasure for the next eight years, or take an adult ed music class for fun. I don't know if I want to have to worry about whether or not I'll see my kids. I don't know whether or not I want to spend basically all of my thirties in a very demanding school program. I'd go into medicine a young woman, and I'd emerge nearly middle-aged. Yikes!
While medicine would make me feel like I'm really contributing to society and would compliment my interests in the human body and blood and guts well, it also requires immense sacrifices, and as much as I don't want to admit it to myself, I'm not sure at this point that those sacrifices are worth it, despite having already done a post-bacc and taken the MCAT twice (will need to take it a third time.) I guess I could be reasonably happy in the non-medical other careers I'm currently looking into, but they would never replace all the benefits that a career in medicine would offer. And I'd always, always regret not pursuing a medical career. Whether that regret would grow over time and become overwhelming, I'm not sure. Right now I sure do regret going to law school. I'd hate to have another big regret on my plate. At the same time, I'm not sure that I want to regret spending my thirties, what some would call the best years of your life, in school. Would I regret that--yes, probably. Arghhh. Decisions, decisions.
So that's my story and my current med or no med musings. Still on the fence. 🙂