Why do i feel so old?

beponychick · Jun 21, 2005

Hi guys,

Im kinda feeling a little down. 🙁 I just realized that I will be entering med school at 25 (if I get accepted for 2006), will graduate at 29, and will not even be done with residency until im 32-34. I really want to have a family but isn't that a little too late to start? Is anyone out there worried about the same thing? 🙁 🙁 🙁

aragonh · Jun 21, 2005

The average age for med school is about 25 (or 26)

SO cheer up.

Remember, one gets character with age.

CerealBox · Jun 21, 2005

I'll be 27 when I start... and 35 when I finish IF I take no extra years: but I'm not too worried. Sure, it would have been nice if I had everything figured out 8 years ago - but I didn't.

At some schools, like UWash, you can take a year off between 2nd and 3rd years to have a baby. Lots of women do this. And/or you can take a year off before residency. And/or just have a baby during residency.. and/or after residency!

It just depends on your priorities. Anything is possible. Yes, moms in medicine have to be superwomen... but I guess that's what we want to do!?

Brain · Jun 21, 2005

There is going to be a 46 year old man in my class. You are not even close to being old. I have always defined old as being more than twice my age. That way, I'll never get old 😀

beponychick · Jun 21, 2005

I guess I feel like it is slightly different for women than for men. I mean, if I was a guy entering med school at 25, I really would not think anything of it. But for some reason, considering the age I will be when I graduate and really start working makes me a bit scared. Maybe it is just a phase. I have friends in law school who graduated with me in 2003 who are half-way done, and I havent even started! 🙁

ForbiddenComma · Jun 21, 2005

25? I'll be Old Man River next to you. You are only 3 years above the "normal" age of 22, which will be hardly noticeable. As far as the family problem, even 22 yo students have to face this though (earliest they're done with residency is 29). And there's nothing wrong with starting a family in your 30s. Or, there's maternity leave/sabbatical as mentioned by someone else. Don't worry about it -- you'll have plenty of other things to worry about once class starts!

trishaaa · Jun 21, 2005

I'll be 25 when I enter, too. I do share the same worries, but they are not at the forefront of my mind (probably b/c I don't currently have a partner/husband and none of my friends are currently on the marriage/children/family track-- all are focused on their respective graduate programs)...and, of course, b/c I'm focused on my applications!

If I do find someone and get pregnant, I'll likely take a year off. And I'll make sure that "someone" is a big helper, not a workaholic.

I also think that 32-34 is not necessarily too old to start a family. I've nannied for a number of women in their late 30's/early 40's who were able to have children through infertility treatments. By the time we're in our 30s, it'll probably be possible for 65 year old men to have babies!

mustangsally65 · Jun 21, 2005

My mom had my oldest sister at 32, and then had my youngest brother three months before she turned 41. It's definitely do-able. I"m 23 now and my mom is 57, which is a lot older than a lot of my friends' moms, but it's not that big of a deal. You'll make it! 👍

FutureDocDO · Jun 21, 2005

If you're worried about increase chances mutations with your eggs you can always freeze them.

sweetrts · Jun 21, 2005

I'm an SDN lurker, but your concerns brought me out of the woodwork because I have the same fears. I'll be 24 when I enter if I get accepted for 2006 and it's one of those things where you have to put aside your worries until the time comes. I know quite a few successful female doctors who have families and still make it to church every Sunday...it's not impossible to do. I figure if many of the female doctors that have come before us have managed to balance a medical career and family, with plenty of hard work and determination I'm sure, there's no reason why we can't successfully follow in their footsteps. I'm more worried these days about finding a nice guy...with all the losers I encounter that seems like much more of a challenge

Camillekc · Jun 21, 2005

My current (female) doctor got married and had children while in medical school. Crazy, but it's possible, and I've heard increasingly more so as there has been a push for schools to be more lenient in order to allow this. I've also spoken to several other people who know women who are currently in medical school with children.

One of Canada's Prime Minister's, Trudeau, died a few years ago at the age of 80, and had a 4 year old child. So men, take heart- if you live long enough you could potentially be having children well into old age (and after medical school)

Flopotomist · Jun 21, 2005

I'll be 32 when I start - so shaddup with your "I'm 25 I am old" crap. (said in a miserly old man voice as I lean on my cane) :laugh:

smsansoucie · Jun 21, 2005

You will be at the ripe old age of 25 when you enter, eh? That is young, young, young. When you are done with residency, you will still have time to start a family. I am sure it is tough to do as a new MD, but people do it all of the time. It may be difficult when your friends are starting families and you are still plugging away at school. However, you will enjoy starting your family just as much later in life... and you will be a doctor to boot!

Stephanie

jbrice1639 · Jun 21, 2005

i'm in the same boat...i'm 24 now, so i'll be 25 when i start (assuming entry in 2006). i'm already married, but my wife and i had the discussion about kids, and decided to wait til after i'm through with school so that all the responsibility doesn't fall on her and so that i don't miss out on the first 4-6 years of our kids' lives.

i certainly don't think it would be a reason to reconsider medicine, and you shouldn't feel old at all....we're all young, 30 is the new 20....all that good crap 😉

and, my parents were 33 and 34 when they had me, so that's certainly not too late to start a family. i think as long as you aren't going to be receiving social security (if it exists, that is...) before your kids graduate high school, you're in good shape.

Off2Oz · Jun 21, 2005

Meh. You guys live longer than us on average anyway, so really, you've got at least a few years on any man applying... =)

I'll be 32 by the time I'm done (if I even get in this time around). That's not including residency. If there's one thing that I've learned over the years, it's that there's time...

M.

Emergency! · Jun 21, 2005

Having a first child in your 30's is not that unusual anymore. More and more couples are putting off having children until they buy houses, travel, etc.

BTW - I am 34 and will be starting med school in the fall. Since my husband and I have decided that we probably shouldn't wait 7 years or so to have our first child, we will be trying to balance medical school (for me), jobs and family.

akpete · Jun 22, 2005

There's a good thread about this in the allopathic forum. It's called "Best time to have a baby," or something like that.

OP, I'm about the same. 24 entering med school. It just seems so strange to me because my mom had me when she was 20, and it's pretty much the same way with the rest of my extended family. My concern is that I don't want to be an old parent.

Mixtli · Jun 22, 2005

Just make sure to have kids while you can in your 30s. I have twin siblings who are 17 years younger than me (parents were up to no good at age 45.) By the time they enter college, my parents will be retiring. When they will be applying to med schools, guess who is going to foot the bill?

jennben4 · Jun 22, 2005

it's all good. i'll be smack dab between 24 and 25 as well. i am a huge proponent of telling people they are NOT old, through thirties, forties, etc... all it takes is a reality check (my dad died 3 yrs ago and he was 55 - when somebody is robbed of life like that, it means something. he was far too young, and he was 55 - our mid-twenties is nothing) that's not to say that i don't have moments either. it's not the age at entering, it's knowing what we're embarking upon and looking at possibly how far down the road things could happen. i know i really want a family. if i weren't attached to that, i wouldn't bat an eyelash at my age when i finish. heck, i'm starting down the road to what i want to do with life - it's worth it. and everything will work out. who knows, i could be engaged a year from now (even though it's the furthest thing from my mind now!) i think the tiny age gap between us and the fresh from college folks is just a whole lot more noticable due to life experience, and that's what makes us feel oldER (not old) than what we are. we've set out in the "real world" and that is usually pretty pronounced compared to somebody that has always lived at home.. off of daddy's money... had somebody to fix things for them, etc.... chin up, you're not alone. it will all work out if this is what you really want. it has so far, right??

freaker · Jun 22, 2005

I really understand where you're coming from, even though as a guy, things probably aren't as rushed for me. But yeah, I'll be in my mid-twenties when I start, as well.

My only advice is to not bury yourself to such a committed schedule that you don't allow opportunities to pass you by. You act as if it's impossible to start a family before you finish residency, which just isn't true. I have sooo many friends who let good things go just because they were ridiculously committed to the idea of not wanting anything "serious" in college. I'm sure the same thing is true in med school. Heck, I did the same thing with distance...I look back at that, and it was a horrible decision based mainly on some idiotic pre-conceived notion of the way things should be. If you're in the right situation, just wing it. I've talked to numerous docs who have said that there is no good time to have a baby. It's just something that is done.

You know, we all fill ourselves with these lies that there won't be any time to do anything, when the reality of it is that there have been people who have played in the NFL while going through med school. Yeah, right...no time....

It may mean cutting out SDN, Friends, and The OC (or whatever the heck people watch these days), but life is doable, or so I've heard.(???)

sunnyjohn · Jun 22, 2005

Heehee!

"Whadya mean Sonny???"

😀

25 is young. 30 feels just like 25, you'll just be smarter.

diamondice79 · Jun 22, 2005

Bottome Line is.. It Can be done.. I am already 25 and will not be entering until 2008... Oh my Goodness I will be almost 28... now i am scared..

Just kidding.. but i have a 3 year old.. that i had during undergrad.. while working full-time.. ANd i have spoken to various med students/Residents who have gotten married and had families..

If you have the support that you need it can be done... BELIEVE THAT 😀

Good luck..

tigress · Jun 22, 2005

I'll be 24 when I enter. Sure, it's nice when people can figure their lives out at an earlier age, but many (most?) of us don't. If you really want to feel old, consider the European system of going straight into medical school from high school!

As far as starting a family, you don't have to wait if you don't want to. I know many women who had babies during med school and/or residency, and felt like they had enough time to be both a student doctor and a mother. My husband and I are planning on having children before/during med school, and while childcare will be a concern, I know we can do it because I've seen other people doing it. And he's also in med school! You just have to know what your priorities are and how to be productive with your time. I know a few women who had babies in med school who said it actually helped them do better than they would otherwise, because they were on a strict schedule that they had to adhere to, and were forced to learn to study on that schedule without procrastinating.

fateema368 · Jun 22, 2005

25 is not too old for medschool, but when you hit 29+, especially if you have a family history of women not being able to conceive, or have no marriage prospects on the horizan-it may not be a bad idea to drop by your gyno's office and get the plumbing checked out, just to make sure nothings wrong. Yes, it can happen, women can conceive they're first children naturally at 30+, even 40+, but increasingly it's becoming harder and harder for all the women who wait, putting careers before babies. The worst thing, I think; is to find you have it all and can't have a child--so, given that you have hindsight, and know that your future may delay the natural order of things, it might not be unwise to stay ontop of your reproductive health. I'm actually planing to do the same.

mellomd · Jun 22, 2005

hi guys, I was glad to see this thread. I'll be 26 when i start med school... that's 30 when i graduate and at least 33 for residency...and I have had the same concerns as well. I've been all over Mom MD and searching similar threads on this topic. All I know it that I Definitely want a family and it'll just work out. For now I'm aiming at the end of res to have kids, assuming i meet the guy and get married between now and then, but you just never know so I have no hard and fast rules as to how this should go. I think another benefit of being a slightly older applicant (25 vs 21) is that many of us at this point have come to the realisation (painful or otherwise) that you just cant plan out everything in life perfectly (which prolly helps maintain sanity in this uncertain application process as well!!)
And as another poster said, I'm more concerned right now about finding that guy to have that family with! (and if he wants to be a househusband too..well even better!)

good luck everyone!

ernieraisin · Jun 30, 2005

i will be 32 when i start med school and because of the field i want to go into, it will take me at the very least 6 years to complete residency/fellowship which puts me at 42.
this is the way i see it...i am going to be 42 regardless of med school or not. i simply cannot stop the aging process. i would much rather be doing something i truly love at the "old" age of 42 than something i dont like.

so, for all you 20 somethings who thinks they are too old, you are not...🙂

Medikit · Jun 30, 2005

It's probably just the gray hairs

MJB · Jun 30, 2005

I turned 29 on Sunday, and I'm hoping to START med school at 31 or 32.

db1 · Jun 30, 2005

I'll be 35 when I start...My wife and I just had our second child. My wife was 33 when our first child was born and 35 when our second was born. Both were conceived naturally with no problems, and we are younger than alot of the people we know with young kids.

I wouldn't want to have kids before my early 30's. Enjoy your 20's. You'll be in med school/residency, but you'll still have time to party and travel. Take advantage of it. It all changes when you have kids and a job.

Hoberto · Jun 30, 2005

I haven't been feeling old, just tired and depressed about the whole thing.

I'll be 31 when I start med school. I turn 30 this summer.

I don't really worry about having kids/not having kids. My husband and I are likely to adopt. I am more frustrated that I've been working full-time since high school and feel like I haven't gotten anywhere. Now I am trying for med school and really wish I had started the pre-med process when I was 17. I could've been applying when I was 21. It would be so nice to start over but keep what I've learned so far. Ah, but we can't turn back time.

Guess I have no point.

newguy357 · Jun 30, 2005

Why do we feel so old? Because we are. It's all down hill when you turn 22. You're only one year older than me, it sounds like. I think a lot of people our age go to medical school (that's why the average age is usually higher than 22-23).

LauraMac · Jun 30, 2005

i am constantly worrying about how i'm going to manage to have kids, have a successful career, and enjoy my life at the same time. but you know what, we need to stop thinking about that stuff. things just work out the way they do. and what you actually end up wanting always turns out to be different from what you thought you wanted, at least that's what i've noticed in my life so far.

sunnyjohn · Jun 30, 2005

Hoberto I read your post and I recalled this verse:

"Not that I have already obtained or have already reached the goal; but I press on to make it my own... I do not consider that I have made it my own; BUT THIS ONE THING I DO: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize...."

Don't regret your path. It made you the determined person you are today.

(The verse is not mine but the Apostle Paul's and is truncated to avoid any ecumenical references. I do think it applies to anyone struggling with the age question or regrets.)

myodana · Jun 30, 2005

there's no right answer here... i am 27, starting med school in august. i've been thinking about this, and looking at some of my future classmates, i am SO glad that i decided to wait until now. i wasn't ready to dive into med school at 22, and i am so happy that i've had 5 years to play around before heading to med school. it's different for everyone, but i personally can't imagine going straight from 12 years of school, to 4 years of college, to 4 more years of med school, internship, residency, without a break. basically, you've kissed your 20s goodbye. yay for us older students... 🙂 but hey, if that's the approach that works for you, more power to you. i just couldn't do it. 🙂
(of course, i have a client who swears to me that she's had more fun in her 60s than she ever had before!)

Caligirl98 · Jun 30, 2005

I'll be 26 when I start med school (assuming I get in for 2006) and honestly the whole "how am I going to be a successful physician and have a family at the same time" is part of what kept me from applying to medical school when I was straight out of college. In thinking about it now though I know that both of those things are important to me and I will find a way to make it work even though I'm sure it is not going to be easy to balance the two. I have a friend who just finished her internship who is pregnant with her first child and plans on having another one before she finishes her residency. In talking with a lot of people most have said there is never a "right" time to have children you just do. I'm convinced that we will all find a way to make it work in the end...there are many women physicians who have done it before us so I'm sure that it will work out for all of us.

EMET_BUTS · Jun 30, 2005

So.... I am older than 39. Really! And I am applying. It all sort of depends on your perspective.

But I think I will be a good "test case" to see if old folks can get in.

Only plan to apply to MD programs.

Best of luck to the rest of you "old folks".... especially you old 20-somethings.

EB

Why do i feel so old?

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