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Hey everyone,
I've been a lurker here since my sophomore year of high school, and I never really bothered to make an account until today for the sole purpose of getting some feedback for my question..
Why medicine? - I don't care if you are in undergrad, in medical school, or are a practicing physician, I want to know why / how you came to your decision that medicine was for you and whether or not you believe I would be suitable for the field.
My circumstances, a very long read:
For as long as I can remember, I've always "wanted" to be a doctor, so I worked tirelessly for all of these years, made excellent grades, obtained strong LORs, got my clinical experiences in, worked(ing) at a private practice, stomped the MCAT, jumped through all of the hoops, etc, etc.
I don't know if I am just unbelievably burnt out or if I've finally seen through my disillusioned reality, but for the past six~ months, I have lost all of my motivation and interest in medicine. I will even go so far as to say that since the end of spring semester, I have done nothing related to medicine other than going to work.
I am currently working at a private practice right now, and I actually dreaded going there for the first time a couple of weeks ago. I thought I was just having a bad day but it has gotten to the point where I want to quit because everything about it seems uninteresting.
I had my whole cookie cutter life planned out and I never actually questioned my decision to pursue medicine because I was so foreclosed on it. Can I see myself as a competent physician? Yes. Can I see myself as a happy physician? I don't know.
I know that this topic has been absolutely beaten to death, but I was compelled to post this today because frankly, I am completely lost.
My entire family is supporting my venture to medical school and my parents will pay for tuition so there really are no strings attached. My relatives quite literally, took me aside and asked me to take over their practices & patients once I get certified, depending on which specialty (if I even..) that I choose. Every one of my pre-med friends have questioned my sanity when I explain my situation to them, but I am unsure if this is what I really want.
I am currently leaning toward taking this summer off and trying to figure out what I want out of my life, but I feel that sitting around for the next two months won't lead me to the answer that I am looking for.
I am aware of the golden rule: "Don't enter medicine if there is something else you would rather do." But after spending more than half of my life obsessively chasing this so-called dream of mine, it would be a waste to give it all up and pursue something else entirely, would it not? Another thing is that certain circumstances in my extended family have led my relatives to label me as the centerpiece of my generation, and I don't want to disappoint everyone by suddenly following this change of heart. Not to mention, they took the liberty of asking some of their colleagues and friends to mentor me through medical school once I got in.. So the more time that I waste deliberating, the more the plan for me to go to medical school materializes.
Is there anything else I would rather do? I really, really, really, don't know. I have always been an adaptable person, never really liking or hating things that were thrown my way. To me, medicine is just, eh. So is managing my portfolio. So is playing online poker. So is learning another language. To me these are all just things to do, neither incredibly enjoyable nor mind-numbingly boring, just bearable.
When I really think about it, even if physicians made only half of what they currently make, it would still be, eh.
But if the path to becoming one only took half of the time, I would probably finish my applications by tonight.
I think I am afraid of committing over a decade of my life just to become a physician, let alone spending a large portion of the rest of my life working as one. I currently no longer see medicine as a calling as I once did in the past, and this frightens me.
Is it time to give up on medicine? Or is it time to see a therapist? Or both?
Thank you in advanced for taking the time to respond.
I've been a lurker here since my sophomore year of high school, and I never really bothered to make an account until today for the sole purpose of getting some feedback for my question..
Why medicine? - I don't care if you are in undergrad, in medical school, or are a practicing physician, I want to know why / how you came to your decision that medicine was for you and whether or not you believe I would be suitable for the field.
My circumstances, a very long read:
For as long as I can remember, I've always "wanted" to be a doctor, so I worked tirelessly for all of these years, made excellent grades, obtained strong LORs, got my clinical experiences in, worked(ing) at a private practice, stomped the MCAT, jumped through all of the hoops, etc, etc.
I don't know if I am just unbelievably burnt out or if I've finally seen through my disillusioned reality, but for the past six~ months, I have lost all of my motivation and interest in medicine. I will even go so far as to say that since the end of spring semester, I have done nothing related to medicine other than going to work.
I am currently working at a private practice right now, and I actually dreaded going there for the first time a couple of weeks ago. I thought I was just having a bad day but it has gotten to the point where I want to quit because everything about it seems uninteresting.
I had my whole cookie cutter life planned out and I never actually questioned my decision to pursue medicine because I was so foreclosed on it. Can I see myself as a competent physician? Yes. Can I see myself as a happy physician? I don't know.
I know that this topic has been absolutely beaten to death, but I was compelled to post this today because frankly, I am completely lost.
My entire family is supporting my venture to medical school and my parents will pay for tuition so there really are no strings attached. My relatives quite literally, took me aside and asked me to take over their practices & patients once I get certified, depending on which specialty (if I even..) that I choose. Every one of my pre-med friends have questioned my sanity when I explain my situation to them, but I am unsure if this is what I really want.
I am currently leaning toward taking this summer off and trying to figure out what I want out of my life, but I feel that sitting around for the next two months won't lead me to the answer that I am looking for.
I am aware of the golden rule: "Don't enter medicine if there is something else you would rather do." But after spending more than half of my life obsessively chasing this so-called dream of mine, it would be a waste to give it all up and pursue something else entirely, would it not? Another thing is that certain circumstances in my extended family have led my relatives to label me as the centerpiece of my generation, and I don't want to disappoint everyone by suddenly following this change of heart. Not to mention, they took the liberty of asking some of their colleagues and friends to mentor me through medical school once I got in.. So the more time that I waste deliberating, the more the plan for me to go to medical school materializes.
Is there anything else I would rather do? I really, really, really, don't know. I have always been an adaptable person, never really liking or hating things that were thrown my way. To me, medicine is just, eh. So is managing my portfolio. So is playing online poker. So is learning another language. To me these are all just things to do, neither incredibly enjoyable nor mind-numbingly boring, just bearable.
When I really think about it, even if physicians made only half of what they currently make, it would still be, eh.
But if the path to becoming one only took half of the time, I would probably finish my applications by tonight.
I think I am afraid of committing over a decade of my life just to become a physician, let alone spending a large portion of the rest of my life working as one. I currently no longer see medicine as a calling as I once did in the past, and this frightens me.
Is it time to give up on medicine? Or is it time to see a therapist? Or both?
Thank you in advanced for taking the time to respond.
