Wildlife joke

[StartingoverVet]

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A panda walks into a bar. He takes a seat by the bartender and orders a burger and a beer. He receives his food & drink and makes quick work of them. Once he's done, he gets up, pulls out an uzi and kills everyone in the establishment except the bartender who manages to duck behind the bar. Eventually the Panda stops and starts heading for the exit. Before he makes it to the door, the bartender jumps out and shouts, "Why did you do that?!" The Panda sheepishly turns around and walks back to the bartender. He takes out a dictionary, flips to the P-section, and shows the bartender the page. It reads:

pan-da.
n. a mammal native to Asia; eats shoots and leaves

 

[screechie]

haha good one!!

 

[Bismarck]

Isn't the joke the improper use of the comma as "Eats, shoots, and leaves?"

/yes I am a real hoot a parties how can you guess

 

[Emiloo4]

Isn't the joke the improper use of the comma as "Eats, shoots, and leaves?"

/yes I am a real hoot a parties how can you guess

 

[Sheepdogpsu]

View attachment 0c0dfee9-7797-4e13-bfc8-d1fa31f42d19.jpg

 

[nordicat]

Emiloo, I come across that not being used SO MUCH, and I was taught (for 8+ years!) to use that comma! It makes me grouchy when it's not there....😆

BTW, in Dr. Suess' Green Eggs and Ham, should we assume the ham is green? I've always wondered about this one.

 

[StartingoverVet]

This is supposedly a linguistics joke, so comma use is part of the joke...not supposed to be a criticism of the joke. Whatever.

I am slightly disappointed that the comma is more interesting than the joke.

Thread fail.

 

[nordicat]

This is supposedly a linguistics joke, so comma use is part of the joke...not supposed to be a criticism of the joke. Whatever.

I am slightly disappointed that the comma is more interesting than the joke.

Thread fail.

I told the joke to my husband this morning, and he cracked a smile 🙂 He's generally a bit apathetic and ornery, so this was actually quite the accomplishment!

Also, I lol'd.

 

[nordicat]

Here are some wonderfully corny one-liners:

What do you call a fish with no eyes? (i's)
...a fsh!

What's brown and sticky?
...a stick! (love this one...most people automatically think it's a poo joke)

 

[StartingoverVet]

I told the joke to my husband this morning, and he cracked a smile 🙂 He's generally a bit apathetic and ornery, so this was actually quite the accomplishment!

Also, I lol'd.

Thanks for telling me that. I told this one to my wife (who is in full blown thesis writing mode ),and even she could manage a chuckle.

 

[squirrelsrule]

Your joke made me LOL, I vote it's a 👍. Who cares about the stupid commas 😉

 

[Hotfillyky]

I lol'ed too!!