Winning Essay

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njbig

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  1. Pre-Dental
Hi All,

Would anyone that has been excepted to Dental School be willing to send me their essay? I would like to use it as a guide when preparing mine. I would really appreciate it!!

Thanks
 
i hope nobody sends you their essay. you need to do this yourself. write why you want to become a dentist.
 
You may honestly want an essay to guide you through the writing process. But once you have the essay in front of you, you may have a hard time straying from the original ideas and creating your own. There are many formats you can use when writing the statement; one is not necessarily better than the other. What will make your essay strong are original thoughts and coherency.
 
Lol, I love Dwight Schrute. Way to be Futuredent
 
Hi All,

Would anyone that has been excepted to Dental School be willing to send me their essay? I would like to use it as a guide when preparing mine. I would really appreciate it!!

Thanks

Give me a break...it's called a PERSONAL statement for a reason. All you have to do is answer the question they ask...IN YOUR WORDS!
 
you can easily type personal essays for dental school or medical school in google and you will find tons of personal statement.
I did read them to get the ideas on how to get started but after getting rejected my first year, i just wrote the whole thing on my own and now I got in.

i think dmdstudent.com has some sample essays too but i hardly doubt people from this forum will send you their own PS. Check the ones from dmdstudent.com
 
Yeah I definitely wouldn't go by what anyone else says on this one. It's a personal statement for a reason, and it's not like this is some stupid high school homework assignment. If you really feel like you need to see something, google it. I'm sure there are essays out there. But I wouldn't recommend that.
 
It might be more useful if you wrote your own essay and ask people here for feedback.
 
yeah, after reading the essays on dmdstudent.com, i had a really hard time forming something of my own...
i basically brainstormed my life... parts and parts of what i thought shaped me as a person today.
Stuff to include in your essay ---
- maybe a certain moment when you realized that dentistry is for u
- why dentistry
- what makes you qualified (and dont just mention what you are already stated in your activities)
- what your input would be for dentistry... what do you want to better?

like many do's and don't websites tell you...
DO be yourself...
DONT try to be tooo funny.. but do try to show your personality in some way 🙂

pour it out, revise, re-revise, have a teacher/friend look at it, revise again.... 🙂 and you will soon be donE!
 
Here is the first paragraph of my personal statement. I got into all of the schools I applied to (13 in all).

“Why teeth?” has been a reoccurring theme in the past 4 years of my life. “Indeed, why teeth?” I often question myself. I am clearly qualified for numerous respectable, high paying professions, having scored a 39 on my MCAT, a 172 on my LSAT and bolstering a 3.9 science GPA and a 3.98 cumulative GPA, and having served as the head of numerous organizations, including the Red Cross, the Humane Society and Amnesty International. The truth of the matter is, I don’t really care about teeth. In fact, I loathe teeth, having had an incompetent dentist as I was younger. What truly motivates me to seek dentistry is the determination to overcome the fear that dentistry has instilled in me and to help others to do the same.
 
Here is the first paragraph of my personal statement. I got into all of the schools I applied to (13 in all).

“Why teeth?” has been a reoccurring theme in the past 4 years of my life. “Indeed, why teeth?” I often question myself. I am clearly qualified for numerous respectable, high paying professions, having scored a 39 on my MCAT, a 172 on my LSAT and bolstering a 3.9 science GPA and a 3.98 cumulative GPA, and having served as the head of numerous organizations, including the Red Cross, the Humane Society and Amnesty International. The truth of the matter is, I don’t really care about teeth. In fact, I loathe teeth, having had an incompetent dentist as I was younger. What truly motivates me to seek dentistry is the determination to overcome the fear that dentistry has instilled in me and to help others to do the same.

My was similar, but instead I recounted a story about how I punched a kid's tooth out in the 3rd grade. Since then, I've been hooked on teeth! 👍
 
My first paragraph:

I first became interested in dentistry when I was a wee lad on the shores of a tropical isle staring out at the ocean. As I gazed into the distance, I saw a sailboat quietly drifting into the sunset. Then suddenly, a massive shark rose from the water and took an enormous bite out of the bow of the ship. The boat took a sizable amount of damage, but the shark was clearly worse off. Nearly 30 of its razor sharp teeth were lodged in the side of the sail boat. Tears streamed from the shark's eyes as it swam off. Fast-forward eight years. Fade in. An older version of the same wee lad sitting on the same shore gazing into the same distance sees the same shark. It has all of its teeth back. From that point on, I knew I wanted to become a marine biologist. Sadly, I failed out of my Marine Science PhD program so I settled on dentistry. I feel that dentistry still offers a fulfilling career, however, as I plan to someday open my office in the ocean.
 
We all had our highs and lows as pre-dentals. Why don't you just write the journey from beginning to end? What sparked an interest in dentistry? Say why you love dentistry. Write it from the heart and be honest.

I wrote few pages of my journey from the beginning, and at some point I got my Kleenex box out as typing it all brought back so many memories........like holding a screaming sick toddler at 3:00 a.m. while trying to study for a hard science exam at 9 a.m.---wiping the vomit off my hair, the wall and the floor, calling the pediatrician, ER visit, and getting to the exam sick worried about my child and looking and feeling as if someone threw me out of an airplane without a parachute!!!

Of course I didn't put all of that in my essay, but it helped to let it all out and then summarize it into a more professional way to say: it was challenging to be a young mother and adapt & how I worked hard to make things work......in the end, after much editing, it turned out to be an awesome essay.

This is the best part of the application---do ask others to read it for feedback. Good luck :luck:
 
My first paragraph:

I first became interested in dentistry when I was a wee lad on the shores of a tropical isle staring out at the ocean. As I gazed into the distance, I saw a sailboat quietly drifting into the sunset. Then suddenly, a massive shark rose from the water and took an enormous bite out of the bow of the ship. The boat took a sizable amount of damage, but the shark was clearly worse off. Nearly 30 of its razor sharp teeth were lodged in the side of the sail boat. Tears streamed from the shark's eyes as it swam off. Fast-forward eight years. Fade in. An older version of the same wee lad sitting on the same shore gazing into the same distance sees the same shark. It has all of its teeth back. From that point on, I knew I wanted to become a marine biologist. Sadly, I failed out of my Marine Science PhD program so I settled on dentistry. I feel that dentistry still offers a fulfilling career, however, as I plan to someday open my office in the ocean.

:laugh::laugh::laugh:
 
I can understand you are probably feeling stuck and unsure what to write about or how to start writing. That's how I felt whenever I thought of the dreaded personal statement because honestly, writing is not one of my strong suits. But as the app open date crept closer, I decided to just sit down in front of my comp and started typing whatever came to mind like my background, my memories (whether or not it's dental related), big moments in my life, what I like to do, why I want to be a dentist, what I've been doing recently, etc... and eventually I somehow formed a rough draft and then had some friends revise it, polished it up again and sent it in. All of the posts above mine are great advice that you should listen to, and I know you can do it! Just sit down and write!

If you still feel like you want to read a few essays to get an idea of how others write theirs, here's a good link: http://www.dmdstudent.com/2007/04/16/aadsas-personal-essay-for-dental-school/ You'll notice that everyone's story is different so just think back and write your own story of why you want to be a dentist or something like that.
 
Here is mine:
.A drop of sweat trickled down my forehead as the clock ticked. "Say ah!" I told Xing, the brave dental assistant at my father's office who volunteered to be the victim of my practice in scaling and replacing the o-rings on her braces. Time slowed as I carefully extended the scaler into her mouth. There was a little shaking in the beginning, but I quickly regained control of my hands and completed the tasks, during these thrilling and intense hours, with fruitful results.

My originally version was more creative and fun to read in terms of the adjectives I used. But I had to cut a lot of things out the 2nd time I applied so this one sounded kinda boring.
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Don't put too much thought into it, that's my advice. I wrote mine in about an hour, read it over a few times for grammar and spelling, and submitted it to AADSAS. If you read over it too many times, have 32 people look at it, and rewrite it 12 times, you will eventually lose your voice and personality in the essay and it will just be another boring predent essay. Just pour yourself and all of your emotions into it and go with your gut.
 
Uh.. wow u only spent an hr.. i spent like two weeks revising again and again. Went to my writing center three times.. 😵.. did research here and there. I think my essay still has a lot of personality and voice in it. I think it's different for every1. What works for you might not be the best way for others... dmdstudent.com is a great place to jump start the writing process tho. Look at what works and what didn't. etc.
 
Don't put too much thought into it, that's my advice. I wrote mine in about an hour, read it over a few times for grammar and spelling, and submitted it to AADSAS. If you read over it too many times, have 32 people look at it, and rewrite it 12 times, you will eventually lose your voice and personality in the essay and it will just be another boring predent essay. Just pour yourself and all of your emotions into it and go with your gut.

Yeah this is pretty awful advice. You're applying to school that will determine basically the rest of your life, and you're gonna just spend an hour and send it in? BAD MOVE. I see what you're saying, but you've got to spend more time than that. I mean I didn't really take it to anyone or ask around before doing it. All I did was read it to my family and girlfriend before getting some feedback and finalizing it, but still.
 
Uh.. wow u only spent an hr.. i spent like two weeks revising again and again. Went to my writing center three times.. 😵.. did research here and there. I think my essay still has a lot of personality and voice in it. I think it's different for every1. What works for you might not be the best way for others... dmdstudent.com is a great place to jump start the writing process tho. Look at what works and what didn't. etc.

Maybe he's just a REALLY good writer and cal pull essays out of his brain left and right. That DEF wasn't the case for me:laugh:
 
Don't put too much thought into it, that's my advice. I wrote mine in about an hour, read it over a few times for grammar and spelling, and submitted it to AADSAS. If you read over it too many times, have 32 people look at it, and rewrite it 12 times, you will eventually lose your voice and personality in the essay and it will just be another boring predent essay. Just pour yourself and all of your emotions into it and go with your gut.


Ahhh...stream of conscience writing. Nice. My PS kind of followed this model too, but after I thought about my flow for a bit. As an English major who procrastinated on virtually every paper, I can attest this is how most of my papers ended up ebing written. I will say you will have the most heartfelt and unadultered story using this technique. Hopefully you are a great proofreader!
 
Hi All,

Would anyone that has been excepted to Dental School be willing to send me their essay? I would like to use it as a guide when preparing mine. I would really appreciate it!!

Thanks

Am I the only one that caught the "excepted"??
 
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