If it were me, I'd be glad that someone took the time to print off an article for me. I had a horrible time on anesthesia and another student gave me a few google links to watch intubation videos. I didn't ask for the links, but she clearly saw that this was an area that I was really lacking in and needed some help! Was I insulted? Not at all. Another student helped me out with learning to tie knots on my surgery rotation. I didn't ask for the help, I wasn't offended and I wouldn't have passed the rotation without that help.
For things that are objective - sure, jumping in to help your classmates learn is fine. But the examples that you mentioned are objective. Either you can intubate or you can't. Either you can tie knots or you can't.
But the OP's example is highly, highly
subjective. Things like professionalism and ethics are so colored by our own personal experiences and backgrounds, that, unless you have a LOT of clinical experience, I really do not believe that you are qualified to "teach" anyone how they should behave with patients. Furthermore, the idea of an MS3, with minimal clinical experience, would try to "teach" a fellow MS3 on professionalism is disturbing to me.
I guess I'm confused as to why you keep insisting that your approach is correct. It seems
very clear to me that, if you were the OP, the OP's classmate would be angry, defensive, and (above all) embarrassed if you were to point out her shortcomings in front of the attending. She's not going to learn anything (because she'll be too angry to really learn), and she's not going to revise her approach. So, you haven't done her future patients any real favors.
A lot of residents are told not to embarrass the student in front of other residents, nurses, or attendings.
While it is important to correct a student when they make a mistake, it is NOT necessary to do so in front of an audience - which is, essentially, what it seems like you are advocating. The fact that a fellow third year would point out his classmate's "mistake" to the attending just makes the situation worse.
In this case, there are DEFINITELY things that the OP could have done/said in the room. Is there anything wrong with the OP saying, "Well, as my classmate has demonstrated, we all have our own ideas about this. But, even though my classmate brought up excellent points, I'm sure that she agrees with me that a decision of such magnitude should not be made after talking to only one or two people. The decision needs to be made after talking to many people, getting many opinions, and considering your options carefully."
Or the OP could have spoken up before his classmate really opened her mouth, and said "Well, neither of us are comfortable discussing such a serious decision with you, particularly because we are both at the very beginning of our clinical training. If you like, we will get the senior physician, who has more experience with such matters." I would even have interrupted my classmate and said, "Well, before you really get into the discussion, I think that the senior physician, who is in charge of this particular patient's care, should at least be present at such a serious discussion. Let's go get him and we'll be right back."
There are lots of ways that the OP could have handled it without unduly embarrassing his classmate.
P.S. You can dismiss
PandaBear all you want, but he is right in that inter-colleague behavior transcends politics. For the record, I'm pretty strongly pro-life, and I don't agree with what the OP's classmate did. That being said, I'm not advocating that OP run to his attending and subtly rat out his colleague. That's not professional either, it's ineffective, and it's (frankly) a cop-out.