thats valid. I can add more examples but i am afraid to dilute what is already being said. ill probably add more to it
People have a tendency to tell, rather than show. If you take the time to show the reader, it generally takes longer and is more effective. Rather than saying you were nervous when you first witnessed a surgeon cutting into a patient, describe the scene (your heightened sense of vision and smell, your keen focus on the doctor's deft hands and the scalpel in them, the patient's placid expression, your seeming lack of peripheral vision, etc.).
I personally would recommend against filling up any essay with fluff like this. I'm more interested in someone's thoughts and reflections based on their observations, rather than all this descriptive imagery that add very little to someone's response. I have yet to see descriptions like this positively influence someone's impression of an applicant.
There is a reason that the old adage "show, don't tell" is an old adage. What you demean as fluff often makes the point in more visceral terms, which makes it more compelling to the reader. That said, my examples may have left something to be desired.
Applicants should show and not tell. But what was described does not show anything helpful. We don't need an applicant to show that they have been inside an OR and watched a surgery. That's not what we care about. We want to know what insights and lessons an applicant took away from an activity, that is how we are shown that an activity was meaningful and impactful. Just my thoughts
I suspect we agree on the goal, but may disagree on what makes for impactful reading when attempting to accomplish that goal.
Gonna roll with Moko on this one. Speaking from experience, reflection of thoughts as opposed to reflection on sights is primo improvement. @gyngyn will back me up with this one lol
