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"When I was young and just a bad little kid
My momma noticed funny things I did
Like shootin' puppies with a B B gun
I'd poison guppies, and when I was done
I'd find a ***** cat and bash its head
That's when my momma said
What did she say?
She said "My boy, I think someday
You'll find a way to make your natural tendencies pay"
You'll be a dentist
(Be a dentist)
You have a talent for causing things pain
(Pain)
Son, be a dentist
(Son, be a dentist)
People will pay you to be inhumane
(Inhumane)
Your temperament's wrong for the priesthood
And teaching would suit you still less
Son, be a dentist you'll be a success"
