Would any of you consider getting married during your pre med years?

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I married as a premed, I honestly feel its the best decision I have made. I am very lucky to have an extremely supportive and understanding spouse. Also, quite a few of my pre med buddies are also married or in the process of getting married. For me marriage is certainly not a distraction or a burden. It can definitely work.
 
raindropx said:
I'm sort of in the same position as you, but we are definitely waiting till after medical school (assuming we both get in)

If you two are serious then what is the rush? You are still together, can live together if that's what you both want. Leave marriage for when you're both settled in your career
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We can't live together cause he's in the military so the only way we could be together is if we do get married. He's pretty settled. He's been in for 8 years so he has a pretty established military career
 
browneyes124 said:
We can't live together cause he's in the military so the only way we could be together is if we do get married. He's pretty settled. He's been in for 8 years so he has a pretty established military career
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Actually you can still be together without marriage. What's the rush
 
gannicus89 said:
I think it's strange that your SO can't wait a year to propose. It sounds like he just wants you to wear a ring... maybe to show others you're off limits? No other aspect of your relationship would change except for this one external marker. Maybe you can talk to him and figure out what the rush is, especially if he's the one who wants an long engagement. Maybe he's just trying to lock you down or something. Anyway, I can't really imagine proposing to someone at this point in my life. About half of my friends are engaged and about a third of that group really has no business being engaged. I would want to really be sure before making a commitment like that.
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I don't think he's trying to tie my down cause we've been dating for awhile but the only reason he'd be ok with the long engagement is so I could finish school but he never really gives me an answer when I ask why cant we wait he just says that he wants to be with me but we talked last night and he said he'd wait till I have at least 65 credits done
 
browneyes124 said:
I don't think he's trying to tie my down cause we've been dating for awhile but the only reason he'd be ok with the long engagement is so I could finish school but he never really gives me an answer when I ask why cant we wait he just says that he wants to be with me but we talked last night and he said he'd wait till I have at least 65 credits done
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Lol this is so bizarre
And you need to keep asking till you get a clear answer
 
DokterMom said:
Statistically, this is the exception, not the norm. Sounds like Dr Death has a very 'traditional' marriage where the wife's #1 ambition is supporting her husband and family, with any educational and career plans of her own very secondary at this point. No wonder he's thriving. (Is this what you aspire to?)



Do consider this. Pressing for quick commitment is a trouble sign, especially when you've expressed that you're not ready.



This is another really big consideration. His geography is not in his control; and once you apply to medical school, your geography will not be under your control either. In fact, both of you are very much at the mercy of external circumstances right now. (Unless you give up on your dreams and follow him around.)

Building a successful marriage is not just finding the right person. Timing and maturity are also very important factors. You can meet the right person at the wrong time, and things just won't work out. Frankly, this doesn't seem to be the right time for you. To achieve your dreams, you'll need to focus on your schoolwork and outside activities. You'll need his encouragement and support -- not pressure to get engaged, get married, spend more of your time with him, move to where he's stationed, have a baby, etc. He can support your dreams or work against them. But if he's working against them, he's not the right guy.
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That's true but I also do plan on joininh the military to be a military phusician so we've come to terms that we're gonna be apart.
 
I guess I'll just go ahead and address some questions. I talked to him last night and told him how it's rushing me and he said he didn't want me to be stressed so he's going to stick with our original plan of waiting till I have at least 65-70 credits so that way I can graduate in a about a year. He's in the military so that's one of the other reasons that we want to get married so we can possible live together. But the main reason that we do want to get married is because we do love each other and want to be together. I also plan on joininh the military to be a military doctor. His contract ends in 4 years and yes he is willing to follow my career when he's out.
 
browneyes124 said:
I guess I'll just go ahead and address some questions. I talked to him last night and told him how it's rushing me and he said he didn't want me to be stressed so he's going to stick with our original plan of waiting till I have at least 65-70 credits so that way I can graduate in a about a year. He's in the military so that's one of the other reasons that we want to get married so we can possible live together. But the main reason that we do want to get married is because we do love each other and want to be together. I also plan on joininh the military to be a military doctor. His contract ends in 4 years and yes he is willing to follow my career when he's out.
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So what's the problem sounds like a happily ever after to me
 
raindropx said:
Uh why would you get a house when you will have to move for med school and again for residency.
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If your marriage in the military you get off base housing or on base housing that's paid for my the military. Since I will also be also be joining the military. Id have to move a lot anyway so that's not really an obstacle for me. And if we lived on base or off then id be there for 3 years so that's not super long but a decent amount of time.
 
browneyes124 said:
If your marriage in the military you get off base housing or on base housing that's paid for my the military. Since I will also be also be joining the military. Id have to move a lot anyway so that's not really an obstacle for me. And if we lived on base or off then id be there for 3 years so that's not super long but a decent amount of time.
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OH now it makes sense. Yea sounds like a good thought out plan! Gl
 
efle said:
Some contraceptives are nearly failproof though, such as calling having sex "engaging in coitus"
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There's always the good ol BCG's
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genericpremedstudent said:
I didn't bother reading most of the responses, but my biggest concern if I were you, would be the fact your SO is in the military. When applying for med school, you don't have the most control over where you will end up geographically. If he has to be stationed somewhere while you're in school somewhere else, that might cause an unnecessary strain on the marriage.
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This. You don't have any control over where you'll get accepted into school, and he doesn't have any control over where he'll be stationed and/or deployed. Can you guys handle that? It's important to think about that, especially if you're getting married but even if you're "just" "in a relationship." Long-distance relationships can be done, and even long-distance marriages, but it's not the right choice for everyone.
 
O Grady said:
I got hitched during ug and I wouldn't have it any other way. Add a baby in there and med school has been an interesting ride so far
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what year were you when you got married? And if you could go back would you have done it sooner or later?
 
ortnakas said:
This. You don't have any control over where you'll get accepted into school, and he doesn't have any control over where he'll be stationed and/or deployed. Can you guys handle that? It's important to think about that, especially if you're getting married but even if you're "just" "in a relationship." Long-distance relationships can be done, and even long-distance marriages, but it's not the right choice for everyone.
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That's true but he'll be out by the time im in medical school
 
Lmao no. If you both truly love each other then why do you need to get married to prove that?
 
Wait until med school.
If he can stay with you through that, that says a lot. I've been dating my boyfriend for over 4 years. We live together. I'm almost 25. No rush to get married. I always tell him that the true test will be whether or not he can't put up with me in medical school 😉
 
Like seriously I'll say it again...if you TRULY love each other, why do you need marriage as a label?
 
j306c954 said:
Like seriously I'll say it again...if you TRULY love each other, why do you need marriage as a label?
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it's so they can get free housing on military base and marriage is necessary for that apparently. Not clear on specifics myself
 
That still shouldn't be a reason to get married
 
If you don't need to be married for the sake of love, and you don't think the financial incentives are a good reason either...what is a good reason for you
 
efle said:
If you don't need to be married for the sake of love, and you don't think the financial incentives are a good reason either...what is a good reason for you
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marriage is a social concept! It holds no meaning unless we give it meaning
 
O Grady said:
I was a sophomore in undergrad and was ~23. I guess another year or 2 of being single would have been alright, but a lot of things in life are all about timing and my marriage was one of them.
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23 isn't bad but most are 19 at that time and that would be bad
 
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