Would you accept help?

[jorgan]

---

Members don't see this ad.

Hi everyone,
Long time reader, first time poster here. I'm about to start my first year of med school so wasn't sure if that makes me a pre-med or a med, but figured I'd try here first🙂

Basically, what it boils down to is, my grandparents have offered to help me pay for med school (i.e. pay the bulk of it). My immediate family lives quite modestly (around 70k combined income - we're obviously not poor but definitely not rich), so I'm not used to the idea of having money to throw around. My grandparents are obviously much more well-off, though they still live a modest lifestyle. I guess prior to this I just really didn't have a sense for exactly how well they had done for themselves, but if they can do this I'm guessing its a lot better than I thought.

They seem insistent but I'm just overwhelmed with guilt at the idea that they would pay for it. Am I insane to be thinking about turning it down and taking out loans instead? I feel spoiled that they even offered something like that, and I've always been a big proponent of making my own path, being independent, etc. , but we're talking about something really substantial here that could make things a great deal easier for me for the rest of my life.

What would you do? Am I nuts to even be thinking about this? I'm just completely stuck on this issue. I worry I won't have the same perspective/value for my career if I have others paying the way for me instead of doing it myself.

 

[ryandote]

Hi everyone,
Long time reader, first time poster here. I'm about to start my first year of med school so wasn't sure if that makes me a pre-med or a med, but figured I'd try here first🙂

Basically, what it boils down to is, my grandparents have offered to help me pay for med school (i.e. pay the bulk of it). My immediate family lives quite modestly (around 70k combined income - we're obviously not poor but definitely not rich), so I'm not used to the idea of having money to throw around. My grandparents are obviously much more well-off, though they still live a modest lifestyle. I guess prior to this I just really didn't have a sense for exactly how well they had done for themselves, but if they can do this I'm guessing its a lot better than I thought.

They seem insistent but I'm just overwhelmed with guilt at the idea that they would pay for it. Am I insane to be thinking about turning it down and taking out loans instead? I feel spoiled that they even offered something like that, and I've always been a big proponent of making my own path, being independent, etc. , but we're talking about something really substantial here that could make things a great deal easier for me for the rest of my life.

What would you do? Am I nuts to even be thinking about this? I'm just completely stuck on this issue. I worry I won't have the same perspective/value for my career if I have others paying the way for me instead of doing it myself.

"whoaaaaaa, take the money and run."

Seriously, if they want to help you out, that is awesome. Make it a priority to be grateful and to avoid a sense of entitlement- you'll be fine.

 

[musiclink213]

Yes, you are nuts. Somebody is offering you help, it's your grandparents, they're your family. Obviously, they love you and care about you a lot, and want to help you any way they can. And if your grandparents are anything like mine, they will be offended if you don't take it. Why should you have to succomb to a life in debt if you don't have to?

Also, if they're older, they may be thinking that they are not very long for this world and what good is money in the bank if you're dead? Sounds depressing, but my grandparents did the same thing about 10 years ago. They ended up giving me nad my sister a pretty good amount of money to put into a long term CD. BTW, they're still alive and kicking in case anyone is wondering. So I say take it, say thank you, and be grateful for the help.

 

[baylormed]

Um...yes.

 

[psipsina]

I would take it. It is probably money that was put aside for you to inherit anyways and they just want to give it to you now and save you from interest rates and loan repayment. It makes good financial sense to pay for medschool upfront if it is possible because you save all the interest that would accrue on that massive amount of money. If you still feel guilty about it after graduating and starting to practice you could always either pay your grandparents back or treat them to a nice vacation etc.

 

[owlet]

Unless your grandparents are like my mother-in-law who attaches unbearable strings to any offer of help, take it! Graduating from med school debt free is a huge gift. Enjoy the freedom you'll gain from not having to worry about money and, unless my mother-in-law gets to them, they'll enjoy seeing you do it.

 

[DReject]

Have them help you but you should be there for them in the future. You could always help them in anything they need. Be a great grandchild.

 

[jorgan]

I guess I just feel like making my own way would build character, financial responsibility and the like. Many of the pre-meds I met as an undergrad came from extremely privileged families, had never held down a job or paid for anything themselves their whole lives, and I've gotten similar vibes from some folks on the pre-med boards here - suffice it to say I tend not to get along with those folks.

I'm incredibly appreciative of the gesture, and I appreciate the input from everyone here but I'm still kind of torn. I'm not big on handouts, even from relatives. Maybe I am nuts, that does seem to be the consensus so far, but there's just something that doesn't sit right with me about accepting something like that. Like I'm going down the path to becoming one of those people I didn't get along with in undergrad.

 

[deleted77919]

First I would make sure they knew how much money you are talking about here, it's possible they think medical school is like undergrad state school (with only a few exceptions, it is not). A misunderstanding here could be really awkward later.

Aside from that, and the aforementioned "money with strings attached" issue, take the money.

 

[DReject]

If you feel that strongly, then follow your instincts. If it means your self-respect and integrity is on the line, then don't cross it.

I'm sure you are familiar with med school debt. Hey almost every other student/resident is in debt also. Join the club.🙂

Be proud of your decision. One day you can tell your children about your honorable choice.

Good luck!

 

[samenewme]

I guess I just feel like making my own way would build character, financial responsibility and the like. Many of the pre-meds I met as an undergrad came from extremely privileged families, had never held down a job or paid for anything themselves their whole lives, and I've gotten similar vibes from some folks on the pre-med boards here - suffice it to say I tend not to get along with those folks.

I'm incredibly appreciative of the gesture, and I appreciate the input from everyone here but I'm still kind of torn. I'm not big on handouts, even from relatives. Maybe I am nuts, that does seem to be the consensus so far, but there's just something that doesn't sit right with me about accepting something like that. Like I'm going down the path to becoming one of those people I didn't get along with in undergrad.

The difference between you and those people can be gratitude and attitude. Talk to your grandparents about it and tell them honestly that you'd like to make your own way and you feel funny taking the help, as if you haven't earned it. Find out how they feel about it. Helping you may mean a lot to them, and if it does, it really won't kill you to accept their help, do very well to make them proud, and make sure they want for nothing in their old age. You can also pass their assistance forward to someone else in the future. There are many ways to make your own way without necessarily saddling yourself with big fat loans and mountains of debt at such a young age.

This may be a whim of theirs, or they may have been clipping coupons and cutting corners for years to make this a reality. It may be a dream they've been cherishing for a long time. Find out!

 

[owlet]

The difference between you and those people can be gratitude and attitude. Talk to your grandparents about it and tell them honestly that you'd like to make your own way and you feel funny taking the help, as if you haven't earned it. Find out how they feel about it. Helping you may mean a lot to them, and if it does, it really won't kill you to accept their help, do very well to make them proud, and make sure they want for nothing in their old age. You can also pass their assistance forward to someone else in the future. There are many ways to make your own way without necessarily saddling yourself with big fat loans and mountains of debt at such a young age.

This may be a whim of theirs, or they may have been clipping coupons and cutting corners for years to make this a reality. It may be a dream they've been cherishing for a long time. Find out!

👍👍 very good advice

 

[mjl1717]

The difference between you and those people can be gratitude and attitude. Talk to your grandparents about it and tell them honestly that you'd like to make your own way and you feel funny taking the help, as if you haven't earned it. Find out how they feel about it. Helping you may mean a lot to them, and if it does, it really won't kill you to accept their help, do very well to make them proud, and make sure they want for nothing in their old age. You can also pass their assistance forward to someone else in the future. There are many ways to make your own way without necessarily saddling yourself with big fat loans and mountains of debt at such a young age.

This may be a whim of theirs, or they may have been clipping coupons and cutting corners for years to make this a reality. It may be a dream they've been cherishing for a long time. Find out!

Gutsy question!! this is great advice, DReject also gives great advice.. as said make sure they know the correct figures!!!!

1)I agree, wouldnt want to follow the shallow, superficial path of some "sheltered" middle or upper class uncompassionate, socially and but truly clinically maladjusted freak. [and Im not jealous]

2) its a personal decision, i wouldnt sway you but there is nothing wrong with integrity..

3)make sure you grand parents know we are talking around a quarter of a million dollars.

4)also this could make things a lot easier, but as you know this does not mean you will slide thru med school..

5)lastly as said be a great grand child!

 

[megadon]

Yes, take the help. My wife and I (her more than me) are very independant people. We both went to the Naval Academy, thus our parents didn't support us through college. So we both had good jobs for about 7 years. We did buy a house in Norfolk. So then I start med school, just need to sell the house. Navy is paying for school, wife is working, but that stupid mortgage is breaking us. Floated two loans from my parents, house still hasn't sold, and finally her parents finance off all our debt (we've sunk 80k in improvements to the house in Norfolk that were killing us). This was much harder for my wife, and her family asks a lot more questions about our finances, but it really saved us. So I'm 31, and finally relying on family, all self pride aside, its normal. Save your debt, take their offer. If you feel really badly, pay them back, it won't take long. Med school sucks a lot in a lot of ways, worrying about finances is only adding anther sack on your back.

 

[Slim147]

Take it. In fact tax-wise it is more beneficial to give you the money over four years rather than wait for them to give it to your family in a will. Plus, they get the added satisfaction that you will one day cure all the uncurable diseases that they have seen throughout their lifetime.

 

[The Doctor]

I would also suggest accepting their help. It's something they want to do for you.

A second pointer: even if they do pay for everything, still take out the full amount of subsidized Stafford loans (it's free money to invest interest-free for at least 4 years) (I got the impression you were thinking it was either them or loans as mutually exclusive options).

 

[gro2001]

I've been on the loans+job option throughout college and now into med school. While its great making your own way and everything, I wouldnt hesitate for a second if someone offered to throw money at my education!

Make sure they do actually have that kind of money and go for it. Dont be stupid. There is nothing dignified about being a gazzilion dollars in debt.

 

[AnthonyNY]

they want to do this for you. i am, admittedly, naive to any "family-specific" situations in your case, but, what i take from their gesture is that they care about you, your future, and genuinely want to help.

you didnt ask for help, you did not beg - they offered. you can take the money guilt free and owe NOTHING after graduation.

if you choose to go without their help, if anything, go to your state school like me so you can owe less😀

 

[Dr. McDreamy]

Here's my advice. It's a little different than "take the money and run".

are you eligible for subsidized stafford loans? In that case, I would borrow as much as you can this way. Then ask your grandparents to give you the money they would have spent on tuition and INVEST IT. You can put it in a CD or a mutual fund, etc. Either way, as long as you make more than the interest you are paying on the loans, you are financially ahead -- especially if you use subsidized loans. make your grandparents money work for you!

 

[gerido]

Hi everyone,
Long time reader, first time poster here. I'm about to start my first year of med school so wasn't sure if that makes me a pre-med or a med, but figured I'd try here first🙂

Basically, what it boils down to is, my grandparents have offered to help me pay for med school (i.e. pay the bulk of it). My immediate family lives quite modestly (around 70k combined income - we're obviously not poor but definitely not rich), so I'm not used to the idea of having money to throw around. My grandparents are obviously much more well-off, though they still live a modest lifestyle. I guess prior to this I just really didn't have a sense for exactly how well they had done for themselves, but if they can do this I'm guessing its a lot better than I thought.

They seem insistent but I'm just overwhelmed with guilt at the idea that they would pay for it. Am I insane to be thinking about turning it down and taking out loans instead? I feel spoiled that they even offered something like that, and I've always been a big proponent of making my own path, being independent, etc. , but we're talking about something really substantial here that could make things a great deal easier for me for the rest of my life.

What would you do? Am I nuts to even be thinking about this? I'm just completely stuck on this issue. I worry I won't have the same perspective/value for my career if I have others paying the way for me instead of doing it myself.

First of all, $70K a year is certainly not poor... anywhoo in contrast to most people here, I say don't take it. I don't know what your grandparent's situation is.. so I don't know how much $120K (assuming you're going to private or out of state) means to them. But if they have a modest income.. that's a lot. 15 years from now, $120K is not going to mean much to you (with the salary you'll be making), but $120K to a couple of old folks means a lot now. So I'd think about if a little debt in the future (relatively speaking) is worth putting your grandfolks under whatever financial constraints they may be under. goodluck! you can't lose either way =)

 

[neoncandle]

I wouldn't take it from my grandparents. They need their money.

 

[QofQuimica]

Hi everyone,
Long time reader, first time poster here. I'm about to start my first year of med school so wasn't sure if that makes me a pre-med or a med, but figured I'd try here first🙂

Basically, what it boils down to is, my grandparents have offered to help me pay for med school (i.e. pay the bulk of it). My immediate family lives quite modestly (around 70k combined income - we're obviously not poor but definitely not rich), so I'm not used to the idea of having money to throw around. My grandparents are obviously much more well-off, though they still live a modest lifestyle. I guess prior to this I just really didn't have a sense for exactly how well they had done for themselves, but if they can do this I'm guessing its a lot better than I thought.

They seem insistent but I'm just overwhelmed with guilt at the idea that they would pay for it. Am I insane to be thinking about turning it down and taking out loans instead? I feel spoiled that they even offered something like that, and I've always been a big proponent of making my own path, being independent, etc. , but we're talking about something really substantial here that could make things a great deal easier for me for the rest of my life.

What would you do? Am I nuts to even be thinking about this? I'm just completely stuck on this issue. I worry I won't have the same perspective/value for my career if I have others paying the way for me instead of doing it myself.

I think that assuming your grandparents can afford to help you and they want to do it, you should accept graciously. Pride is no virtue, and there is a reason why med schools ask for your family's finances before they dole out financial aid. You, and your entire family, are expected to "invest" in the cost of turning you into a physician. Obviously, some people have no choice but to take on inordinate amounts of debt because that's the only way they can go to school. But you do have a choice. Probably the greatest gift your family can give to you is the opportunity to start out your working life debt-free and not beholden to impersonal corporations. If you feel uncomfortable accepting the money as a gift, then take it as a loan and pay them back when you're a physician. I'd rather give a large portion of my future salary to my family than to Sallie Mae any day. 😎

 

[cfdavid]

Yep, just realize that you're fortunate. Don't take it for granted (not like you would). Let them know how much this means to you and your future family, and do the best you can with such a great opportunity.

I'm sure they're like "hey, we've stashed all this cash away over the years, so what better a cause to donate to??."

They're not going to live forever, and they know that. This will make them feel very good, I'm sure.

That's awesome!!!!👍

 

[LaDoctorFutura]

here is how i would handle the situation. i know that helping pay for school means a great deal to them and just saying no might hurt a bit, so I would allow them to pay for a specific portion. I would take subsidized loans for tuition and let them pay for housing only (hopefully you aren't in NYC or somewhere else super expensive). my point is to allow them to take pride in helping you through medical school, because it lets them feel like they may not be able to help you with your times tables, but they can lighten your financial load.

i'm sort of in this situation. so my parents wouldn't feel stressed about having to pay for med school for me and my sister about to start college, I told them in the beginning that i would pay for school. but parents/grandparents will always want to help, so they pay for groceries and bills, so their budget doesn't take a huge nose-dive and still are able to help, which I really do appreciate.

 

[PreMD86]

I guess I just feel like making my own way would build character, financial responsibility and the like. Many of the pre-meds I met as an undergrad came from extremely privileged families, had never held down a job or paid for anything themselves their whole lives, and I've gotten similar vibes from some folks on the pre-med boards here - suffice it to say I tend not to get along with those folks.

I'm incredibly appreciative of the gesture, and I appreciate the input from everyone here but I'm still kind of torn. I'm not big on handouts, even from relatives. Maybe I am nuts, that does seem to be the consensus so far, but there's just something that doesn't sit right with me about accepting something like that. Like I'm going down the path to becoming one of those people I didn't get along with in undergrad.

Jorgan, you don't need to buy the whole cow for a cup of milk-
There are much more efficient ways of learning financial responsibility.
If your grandparents can afford this contribution without a substancial decrease in the quality of their lives, you should thank them from the bottom of your heart and take it. Most grandparents feel no greater satisfaction than being able to help their family prosper, and yours are no exception.

 

[UCDavisdude]

Hi everyone,
Long time reader, first time poster here. I'm about to start my first year of med school so wasn't sure if that makes me a pre-med or a med, but figured I'd try here first🙂

Basically, what it boils down to is, my grandparents have offered to help me pay for med school (i.e. pay the bulk of it). My immediate family lives quite modestly (around 70k combined income - we're obviously not poor but definitely not rich), so I'm not used to the idea of having money to throw around. My grandparents are obviously much more well-off, though they still live a modest lifestyle. I guess prior to this I just really didn't have a sense for exactly how well they had done for themselves, but if they can do this I'm guessing its a lot better than I thought.

They seem insistent but I'm just overwhelmed with guilt at the idea that they would pay for it. Am I insane to be thinking about turning it down and taking out loans instead? I feel spoiled that they even offered something like that, and I've always been a big proponent of making my own path, being independent, etc. , but we're talking about something really substantial here that could make things a great deal easier for me for the rest of my life.

What would you do? Am I nuts to even be thinking about this? I'm just completely stuck on this issue. I worry I won't have the same perspective/value for my career if I have others paying the way for me instead of doing it myself.

maybe a biased opinion here, but i grew up in a single parent home where my mothers yearly income ranged from 10-15 thousand a year. so i worked alot to help pay bills. what im saying is, it really did help me mature and build character. and since I grew grew up that way, i wouldnt take the money. But im not saying you shouldnt, its definitely a great opportunity, but from my experience, the hardships have definitely helped me build character, not saying that YOU need to build any.

 

[Tiger26]

Tell them what you think. You sound pretty genuine about the moral dilemma, and if they can really afford it, then take the money. With that said, just live frugally and within your means.

 

[jorgan]

I appreciate everyones input, you've given me a lot to think about. I'm still undecided on the matter. I REALLY appreciate their offer, but as you said, we are not talking pennies here, this is huge.

In response to Gerido - I'm sorry, perhaps I wasn't clear, but it is my parents that have the modest income (or at least relatively modest - as others have pointed out, we are CERTAINLY not scraping by at 70k, but nor is 70k enough where my PARENTS could afford to pay something like that). My grandparents LIVE modestly, but I had no real idea what their income was. I get the impression it is much much higher than I thought. They always took a fair number of vacations, but they live in a medium-size home in a modestly nice neighborhood, drive "normal" cars and not a mercedes, etc.

I do think a part of this is just a stupid pride issue on my part, but I have a very serious problem when I see people taking money for granted, and well, frankly, its something I saw alot from folks trying to enter the medical profession (no offense to the kind folks in this thread of course!). But as others have mentioned, its all in the attitude and being thankful for the help is vastly different from expecting the help.

While it might be an easy decision for some, it is definitely not for me. I wish it was. So I'm going to think on it a little more and see if I can either make a decision or come up with a compromise.

 

[brewmeistervi]

I don't know if any has really spent any time thinking about this, so I will ask..

Do you know where they are getting the money from? Are they retired?

IF the are taking the money from retirement like an IRA, they will be taxed as that money is removed from their IRA to their general income ... So now grandpa and grandma will not only pay for your college with their retirement, but they are also geting taxed for living the Regular Income + Annual Price of medical school (included as income) $$ lifestyle.

If you grandparents are young also (<60), this becomes an even bigger issue if they are tapping into their retirement. They get fined heavily.

Know their finances before you accept their gift. If they are tapping into their IRA, then they are going to get hit harder monetarily. I think they are very nice to offer, and you should accept it (as long as some reservations are clarified) . I would be a responsible family member and ask questions about the money and make sure that you aren't crippling them with your med school debt. You will be able to pay that money back, but if they are retired, they won't. I don't think you should accept it if they are retired, and they are borrowing from their IRA... UNLESS they have spoken to a real finance manager, and they think that it will be no problem (like your grandparents have x milion dollars that is in x investments).

If they have plenty of cash to do give you for this... then it is a great idea to give it to you for educational reasons... You are off the streets, and they have a grandson/daughter who is taken care of... that's what they want. Just make sure they aren't forgetting to take care of themselves.

 

[mjl1717]

Tell them what you think. You sound pretty genuine about the moral dilemma, and if they can really afford it, then take the money. With that said, just live frugally and within your means.

Very Good advice. [Jordan-At least we know you're NOT the spoiled, semi- affluent block head, who goes "who me?"] ( Oh-those guys are indecent and disgusting)

 

[docbill]

please give them my name and I will be the best grandkid.

 

[docbill]

Okay kidding asside.. ask them to buy an investement in your name and that once you finish medical school, you can use that money to pay off loans. That way .. you get to grown up and mature with your own neck on the line.. and when you do finish medical school, you get a big piece of your loans payed off.. or use that money to start your clinic. Government loans are low interest right? So not a bad option to leave them as such and use the funds to start business.

 

[Miami_med]

Borrowing lots of money from the government doesn't build character like working your way through college. It just makes you a debt slave. I ruled out a number of specialties because the training length would make me a poor provider for my family. If they can genuinely afford it and your relationship is such that you wouldn't feel that they were trying to control you with the gift, you should seriously consider taking the money. The people on here talking about how $120k will be no big deal on the other side a) don't understand compounding interest and its impact on a long residency, b) overestimate how much doctors make or will make c) don't know your grandparent's position.

 

[Final]

Hi everyone,
Long time reader, first time poster here. I'm about to start my first year of med school so wasn't sure if that makes me a pre-med or a med, but figured I'd try here first🙂

Basically, what it boils down to is, my grandparents have offered to help me pay for med school (i.e. pay the bulk of it). My immediate family lives quite modestly (around 70k combined income - we're obviously not poor but definitely not rich), so I'm not used to the idea of having money to throw around. My grandparents are obviously much more well-off, though they still live a modest lifestyle. I guess prior to this I just really didn't have a sense for exactly how well they had done for themselves, but if they can do this I'm guessing its a lot better than I thought.

They seem insistent but I'm just overwhelmed with guilt at the idea that they would pay for it. Am I insane to be thinking about turning it down and taking out loans instead? I feel spoiled that they even offered something like that, and I've always been a big proponent of making my own path, being independent, etc. , but we're talking about something really substantial here that could make things a great deal easier for me for the rest of my life.

What would you do? Am I nuts to even be thinking about this? I'm just completely stuck on this issue. I worry I won't have the same perspective/value for my career if I have others paying the way for me instead of doing it myself.

you should definitely NOT take it - this way you could go into hundreds of thousands of dollars debt and then prove to the world that you are not "spoiled" 🙄

 

[beavisredwood]

Not sure if someone already suggested this (I didn't read all the other posts), but why don't you take the money as a low (or no) interest LOAN from your grandparents. You can even get official papers drawn up, so its legally binding. Then integrity remains in tact AND you get to keep the interest $$$ in the family instead of paying it to the man. That having been said, I would personally take the money in a heartbeat and then bake my grandma cookies every week and take my grandpa fishing every single chance I had.

 

[Law2Doc]

So I'm going to think on it a little more and see if I can either make a decision or come up with a compromise.

There are definitely compromise options. If you feel uncomfortable having them pay for tuition, housing, then perhaps let them pay for books, equipment, AMA/AMSA dues, board review materials and sign-up costs, etc. These expenses all add up, but at least you can feel you paid for the "real stuff" through your own effort/debt. Just a thought.

 

[Vano]

Yes

 

[blues91776]

in return you should make great grand-babies for them =D


But yeah if you really feel bad, an interesting compromise of some sort can work.

 

[Sir Buckethead]

I had a very similar situation with undergrad. You should definitely take it. You dont get to feel like a badass who pays his own way, but that really isnt very important.

 

[SuperMario]

The fact that you are seriously considering not taking the money seems to me like all the years of hard work have built enough character. You have worked hard and you deserve this. We would ALL take a generous gift like this. Don't shoot yourself in the foot. The money will eventually become yours anyways through the will except that you will get much LESS of it because that money will be taxed very heavily by the government and you will be paying back MORE because of interest rates. So, you'll get less money and it will have less buying power, essentially. Plus, I don't think anyone has mentioned that your granparents get the joy of seeing their money being put to good use now while they are still alive. This will make them very proud. Please, do take the money.

 

[MSKalltheway]

As previous posters have said, as long as your grandparents know every detail behind what med school costs and it wont hurt them to pay the whole thing or help out some, I say go for it. I would feel pretty bad about taking the money too for sure! So I can understand...but at the same time, you have to remember how stressful paying back debt can be and how hindering it can be to you and your future family's financial goals. So definitely talk to them again and work something out if it makes you feel better to do so.

In the end, I think taking the money and always acting in ways to show your grandparents that you are grateful for their help shows just as much character as paying your own way. Hell in fact, stressing over the debt could potentially make you bitter and take away from it! You could always look at it from the other way...

You gotta do what you gotta do, but its only a "handout" if you took the money and never did anything in return for them. "Help" is using your blessings to extend the fruits of your gifts...if you think about it, all the great figures in history got "help" somehow from others, never "handouts".

 

[beavisredwood]

As previous posters have said, as long as your grandparents know every detail behind what med school costs and it wont hurt them to pay the whole thing or help out some, I say go for it. I would feel pretty bad about taking the money too for sure! So I can understand...but at the same time, you have to remember how stressful paying back debt can be and how hindering it can be to you and your future family's financial goals. So definitely talk to them again and work something out if it makes you feel better to do so.

In the end, I think taking the money and always acting in ways to show your grandparents that you are grateful for their help shows just as much character as paying your own way. Hell in fact, stressing over the debt could potentially make you bitter and take away from it! You could always look at it from the other way...

You gotta do what you gotta do, but its only a &quot;handout&quot; if you took the money and never did anything in return for them. &quot;Help&quot; is using your blessings to extend the fruits of your gifts...if you think about it, all the great figures in history got &quot;help&quot; somehow from others, never &quot;handouts&quot;.

You are wise MSKalltheway🙂

 

[Hayden2102]

(Sorry have only read OP)

One thing we always forget when people give us something and we feel guilty is, they would never have offered if they didn't want to in the first place. They aren't going to turn around and feel resentful if you say yes.

 

[LegacyDoctress]

Jorgan-

If you are feeling guilty about taking money from your grandparents, why not commit to helping them when you graduate? They will probably need a physician that they trust...

Or, when you graduate and make money as a physician, you can set up a scholarship for medical students in THEIR name.

Return the favor...keep the circle...

~ L

 

[RandomGuy]

$200,000 after interest is a lot to pay for character. Besides, it sounds like you have character already. I think accepting a gift from your family may build humility. You're not the type of person to feel entitled to money from your family, so I don't think there's any worry of becoming one of those privileged kids. The nice thing about grandparents is that they're a generation removed from you and so there are fewer strings attached than if your parents wanted to pay your way.